Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[jackbl]

Not CO GIAO THAO ha?

Originally Posted by SingViet

Its a shopfront. The bac si should be Bac si Thao, if i am not wrong. I think she should be the only doctor on that street.

[KangTuo]

can change this thread to Understanding FAMILY members of Vietnamese Life Partner and how to change their mindset?

really dunno how the family members think...
1) always think of using own daughter/siblings to earn money
2) always think that foreigner got alot $.

Experience bro here... how you due with them?

I just had a converstation with my galfriend.. she is very sad.

She had a big argument with her sister yesterday. Her sis asked her whether I give my girlfriend money before I return to Sillypore. She replied her sis that I gave $100. The last time I give a sum of $ to pay for their mum hospital bill is ok already.

Her sis said that I gave so little only. Why a foriegner dun have $ to give? Why my galfriend only think of love and willing to work as shop assitance eaning miserable pay. She said my galfriend not giving money and worry for the whole family. She asked my galfriend to come Sillypore to work after the ban is lifted. Don't need to stay with me.

My galfriend complained to me that she is just like a money machine to her family. She is really tired of them...

Listen to all this complain, I also feel fustrated.

[NewandLost]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

can change this thread to Understanding FAMILY members of Vietnamese Life Partner and how to change their mindset?

really dunno how the family members think...
1) always think of using own daughter/siblings to earn money
2) always think that foreigner got alot $.

Experience bro here... how you due with them?

I just had a converstation with my galfriend.. she is very sad.

She had a big argument with her sister yesterday. Her sis asked her whether I give my girlfriend money before I return to Sillypore. She replied her sis that I gave $100. The last time I give a sum of $ to pay for their mum hospital bill is ok already.

Her sis said that I gave so little only. Why a foriegner dun have $ to give? Why my galfriend only think of love and willing to work as shop assitance eaning miserable pay. She said my galfriend not giving money and worry for the whole family. She asked my galfriend to come Sillypore to work after the ban is lifted. Don't need to stay with me.

My galfriend complained to me that she is just like a money machine to her family. She is really tired of them...

Listen to all this complain, I also feel fustrated.

This is common with PRC too. Your own family is hardworking, saves on their own. Of course as their son you seek to help them but as a family no one abuses each others resources. you are crossing cultural norms. think inevitably you will be held accountable for maintence of her parents living expenses which is IMO reasonable provided they are not able to work and not using it to live the high life. If the whole clan is buying luxury goods, flashing the bling bling, crusiing aroiund in an Escalade with 19" chrome rims in 'nam and sitting at home each day waiting for your cash each month, I think you need to decide whether you are willing to live your life like that. This assumes you and your wife cannot change the clan.

[David_Villa]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

can change this thread to Understanding FAMILY members of Vietnamese Life Partner and how to change their mindset?

really dunno how the family members think...
1) always think of using own daughter/siblings to earn money
2) always think that foreigner got alot $.

My galfriend complained to me that she is just like a money machine to her family. She is really tired of them...
Listen to all this complain, I also feel fustrated.

IMHO if u choose to marry a viet gal, what u hv mentioned is a standard SOP u hv to go through. It is down to how u manage to change her mindset of giving up on her family altogether.

I shall say it is not easy to change their mindset, and it also takes time. Alot of viet-sing marriage can't work up is becos these $$$ problems from their family members. 99% Viet gals always placed their family members as top priorites, and husband is only secondary.

[chanyboy]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

...
I just had a converstation with my galfriend.. she is very sad.

She had a big argument with her sister yesterday. Her sis asked her whether I give my girlfriend money before I return to Sillypore. She replied her sis that I gave $100. The last time I give a sum of $ to pay for their mum hospital bill is ok already.

Her sis said that I gave so little only. ...

There's one answer you can gv to her sister, via yr gf:

"Hey sister, u have more assets leh..go Sg yourself & earn a bit - sure got lots more $$ than getting from the bf de...just open leg sweetly, show neh2 a lot.."

<lets see whether it's easier for her to say than do. Once she knows how 'difficult' it is, the mouth will shut>

Originally Posted by KangTuo

...
But than hor.. I am a lonely guy in Sillypore leh..

huh? Lonely guy..maybe I'm the one qualified bah. My routine is : wake-up -> work -> go-hm sleep

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by NewandLost

If the whole clan is buying luxury goods, flashing the bling bling, crusiing aroiund in an Escalade with 19" chrome rims in 'nam and sitting at home each day waiting for your cash each month, I think you need to decide whether you are willing to live your life like that. This assumes you and your wife cannot change the clan.

They never live a luxury life and never sit and wait for $. I see that each and everyone work but it is just that $ is not enuff.

Only that her bro is schooling and is asking for more and more money.

Originally Posted by David_Villa

99% Viet gals always placed their family members as top priorites, and husband is only secondary.

This is what i learned form this forum...
But I do feel that my galfriend placed me after her mum, dad and youngest bro. At least 4th in the rank within her family of 10 members.

I am not only fustrated about her family thinking.
She being so good to me.. this make me feel ashame of my cheonging life.
But than hor.. I am a lonely guy in Sillypore leh..

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

My galfriend complained to me that she is just like a money machine to her family. She is really tired of them...

Listen to all this complain, I also feel fustrated.

Bro, this is the key point. If she feels frustrated that she is being made used by her family to make money and that her parents don't sayang her, then she will be a good wife after marriage. When my wife married me, this was how she felt. Even till now, my wife feels that her mum only wants money from her and doesn't sayang her. If yr gal feels that way, she will place u and yr family above hers and it will be a good thing.

[papillon30]

Originally Posted by leecs

Hi! I will be going to HCMC next wed. Are there any guitar shops there? Thanks

Lots of good guitar shops on Nguyễn Thiện Thuật P2 Q3 HCMC.

[jackbl]

Then i sugg that her sister come sgp to work la... can help out the family too...

Did her sister also contribute to the hospital bill too? Did she contribute to family too?

Sorry if i probe too much on your family affair...

Originally Posted by KangTuo

She had a big argument with her sister yesterday. Her sis asked her whether I give my girlfriend money before I return to Sillypore. She replied her sis that I gave $100. The last time I give a sum of $ to pay for their mum hospital bill is ok already.

Her sis said that I gave so little only. Why a foriegner dun have $ to give? Why my galfriend only think of love and willing to work as shop assitance eaning miserable pay. She said my galfriend not giving money and worry for the whole family. She asked my galfriend to come Sillypore to work after the ban is lifted. Don't need to stay with me.

[jackbl]

I think so too ..... U treat so many gal so good, each one like your gf.

Originally Posted by KangTuo

She being so good to me.. this make me feel ashame of my cheonging life.
But than hor.. I am a lonely guy in Sillypore leh..

[SingViet]

My attitude towards my wife's family is simple `Don't be a HERO because HERO is first one to die'. When the parents need money for whatever cause, i give an amount that i am comfy with. The rest they have to think of other ways to raise the money. If try to be HERO and pay all the bill, next time there will be many many chances for you to be HERO and you will die of POCKET CANCER really fast.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by jackbl

Then i sugg that her sister come sgp to work la... can help out the family too...

Did her sister also contribute to the hospital bill too? Did she contribute to family too?

Sorry if i probe too much on your family affair...

ask the sister to come singapore to work so that u can sian her huh?

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by chanyboy

huh? Lonely guy..maybe I'm the one qualified bah. My routine is : wake-up -> work -> go-hm sleep

i am having about the same routine as you mah..
just that between work and go home sleep, I insert 'outing at jc'

Originally Posted by jackbl

I think so too ..... U treat so many gal so good, each one like your gf.

the gals come all the way from vn to work, sometimes we have to show concern to them mah. They very lonely and also need guys to listen to them. Their so call 'sisters' working and staying together are always shooting arrow behind each other back. So they do not feel good to sorrow.

Always listen and talk to them.... show a bit concern... not much of a investment but they will return the favor to you in a good way.

The difficult part I am facing now is to ask them to let me go...
I told the my whole forest (except 1) that i have a girlfriend in VN and planning for married. I told them I am a flirt and have many gals. I told them not to contact me anymore... but than still a few say its ok, they still like to continue seeing me. Big headache in future...

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by SingViet

If yr gal feels that way, she will place u and yr family above hers and it will be a good thing.

hihi.. just had another round of conversation. Confirmed this statement.
She herself say it out (in mixture of english and vietanamese and chinese) without me asking.

neu 'yi hou' bx marry ox roi, bx se 'worry' cho family ox

[Honey Boon]

there is one type of vegetables they eat, very common they eat raw, very heaty I heard. I don't know what is the name ....

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Quite common to develop sore throat in Vn...I always gets it after my visits...must be the spicy food and the thick ca phe...also the afternoon sun is burning around 33-34 degrees C and place are very dusty...