Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by hjy_19

hi everybody !!

NOW MY QUESTION 4 EVERYONE??
at 1st thought everything will be very simple just pay their debt then marry,who know now lot of problem i can think of,
1st need send $ 4 her 2 brother study in ho chi minh $500 every mth,
2nd need settle her mother debt for their house around $9k,
3rd if arrange her come back need perpare $ again 4 her to buy ticket back vietnam
4th if after rom can stay 4 3 or 6 mth, after tat she went back there stay 4 a mth then can come back also need $ 4 her expense
5th now she run out of $ again due to she settle debt 4 her brother n her tooth surgney although i pass few hundred to her be4 im come back.

WAT TO DO EVERYWHERE NEED $ $ $
Should i still continue rom with her?

I dun know about the deal for a trip to swim at seaside, but in VN, long distance ride is common for them. Also, unlike SG when you go to some ppl house, they EXCLUSIVELY cover the cost for drinks/food. Over there, sometimes you may have to share the cost or pay for it entirely. But I need to stress that it does not mean you let yourself be a carrot-head.

As for your qns, the sponsering of her brother's study and to cover her mum's debt, I have no comments and it is solely up to how you justified your relationship with your gal. But do take note that Vietnamese has many money problems, be it real or a make-up story.

And as for her air-ticket, you will need to get "return ticket" when she comes over, and some cash to show to immigration that she can support her stay here. So take note it is not just paying for a cheap SGD 200 + Lion Air airfare.

Lastly, unlike being with a SG gal where she continues to earn her pay check even after ROM, your gal will be jobless until she gets a PR. So during this period you are expected to help out in her family basic expenses. You mentioned that her brothers needs $500 monthly for study, so this may falls under the basic expenses, not counting marketing, bills. And if the house debt consist of monthly repayment, it will also falls under basic expenses. In short, it is the "must have" thingy. Whether it is true or not I have no comment. I am just highlighting the magnitude of the problems to you.
But that being said, marrying a SG gals does not mean you are not spending money either. (no offence to bros with SG spouse)

Maybe some senior bros can brief you on the real deal

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by casannova03

15 seaters Mercedes Vito converted bus...per person is around 15-20 dollars i think...

When I see those transport I sibei sian
I took those Vito or Ford Transit by the Malinh Express (spelling correct?) a few times already and almost everytime i kanna the back seat, 90 degrees one. Its a 6 hrs ride from Ho Chi Minh to Kien Giang. My back will ache a few days after that.
Can never get those centre seat cos she also delay until last min then call for booking

[Darkstorm]

Hi guys, when a Viet girl agrees to bring you to her house during Chinese New Year, does it mean anything?

A Viet guy told me it doesn't mean anything. Any views?

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by ekemono

When I see those transport I sibei sian
I took those Vito or Ford Transit by the Malinh Express (spelling correct?) a few times already and almost everytime i kanna the back seat, 90 degrees one. Its a 6 hrs ride from Ho Chi Minh to Kien Giang. My back will ache a few days after that.
Can never get those centre seat cos she also delay until last min then call for booking

actually Malinh has one of the newer fleets around....wait till you try others...haha..lagi jiat lat.....actually you can choose your seat ma....just tell them you pay more to chop seat lor...the driver confirm reserve for you one.....or if you want comfortable, buy the whole row lor...hahah..can even lie down and sleep then..

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by hjy_19

WAT TO DO EVERYWHERE NEED $ $ $
Should i still continue rom with her?

Bro, so many bros here have given you their views. The simple question is, how much are you earning per month? Is the money enuff to cover her family's demand? For a gal to lay down such terms for you before ROM, you can simply FORGET about her. Don't marry because of sex, marriage is not just about sex....

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by Darkstorm

Hi guys, when a Viet girl agrees to bring you to her house during Chinese New Year, does it mean anything?

A Viet guy told me it doesn't mean anything. Any views?

Unlike the chinese, bringing a guy home for vietnamese is normal. It is especially so when the guy is a foreigner and the gal has plans to con him

[69ASIMO69]

Just an kay kiang advise here ....... This girl does not really loves you like what true loves is, she is marrying you out of having someone to care and take care for her, 1 day when her family is in comfort days and she met some 1 who she got chemistry with and yet she haven fall in love truely with you after you helping her, SHE WILL LEAVE..... I got quite a no of viet gf in the past, went to HCM for 5 times..... just an small experience cant compare to the bros here but i came to understand, if the viet gal really loves you, she wont lay down terms b4 marriage..... I have a viet gf now, she dont ask for anything, she is staying at my house once 2 mths up, she return for few days and i will went over and fetch her back singapore. what she spend is only fodd and the ticket for flying..... for clothes, she rarely buys....

[Leeson]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Unlike the chinese, bringing a guy home for vietnamese is normal. It is especially so when the guy is a foreigner and the gal has plans to con him

hehe, it doesnt matter when you visit, all the relatives sure take time out to come see you too!

[jackbl]

Originally Posted by hjy_19

hi everybody !!
just come back from vietnam last week,totally different from singapore.Went my gf hometown took 6hrs to reach angiang Long Xuyên City. thought can take bus there in the end took taxi waste $160 damn the most expensive taxi i ever took.

Bro Casannova, hjy said liao he went Long Xuyên liao

An Giang 安江省: 龍川市 (thành pho^/ Long Xuyên), 朱篤市 (thi. xã Châu Ðo^/c), 安富縣 (An Phú), 周富縣 (Châu Phú), 周城縣 (Châu Thành), 新市縣 (Cho’. Mo’/i), 富新縣 (Phú Tân), 新州縣 (Tân Châu), 話山縣 (Thoa.i So’n), 靖邊縣 (Ti.nh Biên), 知尊縣 (Tri Tôn)

Originally Posted by casannova03

an giang?? nostalgic feeling!!! haha cos my wife is from there too....but still one an giang is damn damn big....which part of an giang you went to?? any small crossing of river on the wooden boats??

[jackbl]

Bro hjy_19 ::: Uhmmmm..... looking at the demands fr ur gal, every month could be adding up to S$1000. And how about you and your gal's expenses in SGP? Giving S$1000 per month as so-called "house-use money" to your gal's money is NOT a small amount.... I think u must be quite financially stable to take that Please consider carefully....

Sorry to be crude, if u go ktv, once the gal sit down, she say cannot touch neh-neh, cannot kiss, etc, what u tink? sian 1/2 liao right??

Originally Posted by SingViet

Bro, so many bros here have given you their views. The simple question is, how much are you earning per month? Is the money enuff to cover her family's demand? For a gal to lay down such terms for you before ROM, you can simply FORGET about her. Don't marry because of sex, marriage is not just about sex....

[technofreak]

Originally Posted by hjy_19

WAT TO DO EVERYWHERE NEED $ $ $
Should i still continue rom with her?

Now you know practically every Vietnamese have monetary problems...

I suggest u adopt a wait-n-see attitude...

Originally Posted by vlover

like bro jack say, do as you deem right.. mayb after marriage, you are able to convince with your love and sincerity that her vietnam family is not everything afterall.. In future, you and your baby will be her everything? I learnt this after reading thru this thread with advices from the seniors... so marry liao chop chop shoot in.. and have beby.

I second your opinion...That's what I did. Now everything revolves around junior liaoz...

Originally Posted by casannova03

an giang?? nostalgic feeling!!! haha cos my wife is from there too....but still one an giang is damn damn big....which part of an giang you went to?? any small crossing of river on the wooden boats??

Hey my baxa's from there too...Maybe we can go back together next time. I've yet to go AG. Haha.

Originally Posted by casannova03

of course, you have to take into account the after marriage expenses...like i always say and bro singviet also adviced...talk to her about her expectations after marriage.. let her know how much you earn, what expenses you have here in SG and tell her you cannot provide for her whole family...they have to earn their keep! but you dun mind sending back money once in a while but strictly to her parents for household expenses...things like new motor, hi-fi, are out of question.....

That's what I do now...Remitting some $$ once in a while...Luxuries are out of the question!!

Originally Posted by Darkstorm

Hi guys, when a Viet girl agrees to bring you to her house during Chinese New Year, does it mean anything?

A Viet guy told me it doesn't mean anything. Any views?

Do NOT go to her house during TET...Unless you wanna be a SANTA CLAUS...^_^

[Darkstorm]

Originally Posted by technofreak

Do NOT go to her house during TET...Unless you wanna be a SANTA CLAUS...^_^

Thanks for the advice.

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by technofreak

Hey my baxa's from there too...Maybe we can go back together next time. I've yet to go AG. Haha.

really ah?? but like i said an giang beri big!!

haha...my ba xa from 'cho moi' how about yours??

wa you know her how long liao haven go back b4.....erhhh....bring one can of insect repllant if you are going la...you will thank me profusely!!! hahahah

[FL Lover]

Originally Posted by Darkstorm

Hi guys, when a Viet girl agrees to bring you to her house during Chinese New Year, does it mean anything?

A Viet guy told me it doesn't mean anything. Any views?

Only 2 things to them by bringing you back:

1) To show their friends and relatives that she got a SINGAPOREAN boyfriend... Viets are well known for face-value... if got chance, they will show off to their friends and at the same time for the parents to determine if you are richand generous.

2) Chinese New year coming...need $ to buy this and that...Where do the $ come from? It is YOU... THE MONEY GOD going to visit them.

If you want to visit them, dont go during their chinese new year. Better be safe

[Thom07]

Originally Posted by vlover

In future, you and your baby will be her everything? I learnt this after reading thru this thread with advices from the seniors.. so marry liao chop chop shoot in.. and have beby

Interesting.

Originally Posted by Darkstorm

Hi guys, when a Viet girl agrees to bring you to her house during Chinese New Year, does it mean anything?

A Viet guy told me it doesn't mean anything. Any views?

To them, it may be nothing. To us, it means that we are 财神爷 in their eyes.