Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[SingViet]

Yesterday's New paper got 1 report about a Singaporean man discovering that his daughter, who was borned in Vietnam, is not his after a DNA test here in Singapore. Just a brief write up. This Singaporean guy, LIM, went to HCMC in 1996. He started a resturant there. He met a vietnamese lady and they fell in love and got married. But it seems that its just customary marriage. They have a daughter. In late 2006, his biz failed and he returned to Singapore. His vietnamese wife also left him for another man. Their daughter was taken care by his wife. After some months, the wife called him saying that she cannot take care of this daughter and ask him to bring the daughter to Singapore. He brought the daughter to Singapore and wanted her to study in Singapore. He wanted to get student pass for his daughter as she was holding on to vietnamese passport. ICA asked him to prove that daughter is his and he took DNA test at HSA. Damm, results came out and daughter not his.

Actually this is a very common sight amongst vietnamese. Often, vietnamese ladies have other thoughts when marrying foreigners. Its either for better life or for the foreigner's country citizenship. Even married, they will still meet their vietnamese bf often. Children come out, they don't even know who the real father is. Very messy relationships, but its common among the vietnamese. I will really think that its not right to allow your wife to return to vietnam for long period of times or even often without you as you will not know who she will really mix around in Vietnam. People always say i stick to my wife , but the main thing is we respect each other and when she wants to go back Vietnam for a break, we go back together. I have seen too many and heard too many examples of such kind, better be careful than to be sorry

[dom01]

Hi all,

Are vietnamese degrees recognised in SG?

[FL Lover]

hahaha... I saw another similiar thread of someone asking whether a thai degree is recognised in sg?

Just ask yourself... have you ever heard of anyone from sg going to vietnam to complete their degree course?

[papillon30]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Yesterday's New paper got 1 report about a Singaporean man discovering that his daughter, who was borned in Vietnam, is not his after a DNA test here in Singapore. Just a brief write up. This Singaporean guy, LIM, went to HCMC in 1996. He started a resturant there. He met a vietnamese lady and they fell in love and got married. But it seems that its just customary marriage. They have a daughter. In late 2006, his biz failed and he returned to Singapore. His vietnamese wife also left him for another man. Their daughter was taken care by his wife. After some months, the wife called him saying that she cannot take care of this daughter and ask him to bring the daughter to Singapore. He brought the daughter to Singapore and wanted her to study in Singapore. He wanted to get student pass for his daughter as she was holding on to vietnamese passport. ICA asked him to prove that daughter is his and he took DNA test at HSA. Damm, results came out and daughter not his.

Actually this is a very common sight amongst vietnamese. Often, vietnamese ladies have other thoughts when marrying foreigners. Its either for better life or for the foreigner's country citizenship. Even married, they will still meet their vietnamese bf often. Children come out, they don't even know who the real father is. Very messy relationships, but its common among the vietnamese. I will really think that its not right to allow your wife to return to vietnam for long period of times or even often without you as you will not know who she will really mix around in Vietnam. People always say i stick to my wife , but the main thing is we respect each other and when she wants to go back Vietnam for a break, we go back together. I have seen too many and heard too many examples of such kind, better be careful than to be sorry

Ah Lim must have cried buckets. Vietnamese are very practical people.

[papillon30]

Originally Posted by FL Lover

hahaha... I saw another similiar thread of someone asking whether a thai degree is recognised in sg?

Just ask yourself... have you ever heard of anyone from sg going to vietnam to complete their degree course?

Multinational companies in Vietnam recognise local degree; many local graduates working in MNCs. Do you think NUS and NTU degrees are widely recognised?

[deptrai4u]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Yesterday's New paper got 1 report about a Singaporean man discovering that his daughter, who was borned in Vietnam, is not his after a DNA test here in Singapore. Just a brief write up. This Singaporean guy, LIM, went to HCMC in 1996. He started a resturant there. He met a vietnamese lady and they fell in love and got married. But it seems that its just customary marriage. They have a daughter. In late 2006, his biz failed and he returned to Singapore. His vietnamese wife also left him for another man. Their daughter was taken care by his wife. After some months, the wife called him saying that she cannot take care of this daughter and ask him to bring the daughter to Singapore. He brought the daughter to Singapore and wanted her to study in Singapore. He wanted to get student pass for his daughter as she was holding on to vietnamese passport. ICA asked him to prove that daughter is his and he took DNA test at HSA. Damm, results came out and daughter not his.

Actually this is a very common sight amongst vietnamese. Often, vietnamese ladies have other thoughts when marrying foreigners. Its either for better life or for the foreigner's country citizenship. Even married, they will still meet their vietnamese bf often. Children come out, they don't even know who the real father is. Very messy relationships, but its common among the vietnamese. I will really think that its not right to allow your wife to return to vietnam for long period of times or even often without you as you will not know who she will really mix around in Vietnam. People always say i stick to my wife , but the main thing is we respect each other and when she wants to go back Vietnam for a break, we go back together. I have seen too many and heard too many examples of such kind, better be careful than to be sorry

Big Thank you to SingViet. this is a great contribution for any Singapore bros here considering of getting serious with Viet ladies. The fact is that NOT all Viet ladies are like that.. but most have this mentality... to unite and screw the foreigners. Its like their culture and as natural as breathing. Even so, I am saying NOT all are like that.. because there are certain ways to set the right expectation and manage it in such a way to prevent such things from happening... in the end, its True, Viet people are very practical.. so if any Singapore bro wants to get serious with a Viet girl, then he also needs to be very committed to the relationship, otherwise at the slightest hint of foul play, the Viet girl also screw you from behind, worst still.. neber tell you till 17 years later u realize thru a DNA test.

[snipeshot08]

Originally Posted by dom01

Hi all,

Are vietnamese degrees recognised in SG?

There may largely depends on the organisation and nature of jobs

The private sectors have their own interpretation of "recognition" so one company's HR policies will differ from another company's, moreover it may be subjected to the human factor, meaning one HR manager will also think differently from another HR manager (just seen one opening in JobsDB looking for a Vietnamese national as PA in a Singapore company)

The public sector, on the other hand is an entirely different story altogether, as they are "moulded" from a long history of recognising degrees from certain countries & tertiary institutions, Vietnam just happened to be one of those countries which they will interpret as dubious.

Hope this helps.

Cheerios.....SS08 ^_^

[SingViet]

I NEVER SUSPECTED SHE WASN'T MINE
S'pore cabby's application to get student pass for Vietnam-born daughter rejected. DNA test to prove paternity shows he's not the 8-year-old's father
WHEN his marriage to a Vietnamese woman broke down, he brought his daughter back to Singapore.
By Veena Bharwani

05 March 2008
WHEN his marriage to a Vietnamese woman broke down, he brought his daughter back to Singapore. He loved the girl, now 8, like any father would.
He tried to get a student pass for her, a process that involved spending thousands of dollars, resulted in a lot of frustration and has ended in heartbreak.

After a DNA test, he found out that he is not the girl's biological father.
The girl holds a Vietnamese passport and has been here for about nine months on a social visit pass that needs to be extended every two to four weeks.

Mr Lim (not his real name) went to Vietnam in 1997 to do business there.
We are not identifying him or the girl because she is not aware of the DNA test result.

TRADITIONAL CEREMONY

In 1998, he said he married a local woman in a traditional ceremony in Vietnam, and a year later the girl was born.

'We were like any loving family then,' said Mr Lim, who is in his 50s.

They lived together in Ho Chi Minh City till 2006, when everything went wrong.

The restaurant he was managing went bust, and his marriage, which had been unhappy for a while, broke down.

His wife left him for another man.

He came back to Singapore in September that year, leaving the girl with her mother.

But in May last year, the mother said she was not able to look after the girl any more.

And he brought her here, to live with him and his mother in a flat in the north-east.

Mr Lim started working as a taxi driver, earning about $2,000 a month.

He placed the girl in a student care centre during the day and gave her Chinese tuition lessons.

CAN'T SPEAK CHINESE

'She did not speak a word of Chinese and I wanted to prepare her for local school,' he said.

He figured that though his daughter was a foreigner, it wouldn't be difficult for her to get a student pass and attend primary school here.

'I thought that since I'm Singaporean, it should not be too hard for my daughter to get a student pass if I submit all the necessary documents.'

But the documents, such as her birth certificate, were in Vietnamese and he had to pay to get them translated. Her birth certificate names him as her father.

There were other problems. For instance, he was not legally married to the girl's mother, as he said they had only a customary marriage.

After his applications were rejected, he sought help from several MPs, but could not make any headway.

He said he has spent more than $2,000 and made numerous trips to the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority (ICA) to pursue the matter.

Finally, he said he was asked to go for a DNA test in January, for more proof that the girl was biologically related to him.

'I thought it was silly.

'But although it was expensive, I went along with it as I really wanted this to be over,' he said.

He paid close to $1,000 for the test.

It was then that Mr Lim got the biggest shock of his life: The girl is not his biological daughter.

Said Mr Lim: 'Not once did I suspect she was not mine. I love her very much.

ATTACHED SINCE BIRTH

'We've been attached ever since she was born. I brought her to Singapore and supported her when her mother abandoned her.

'I cannot believe it. All this while I've loved her as my own. I've been betrayed so badly by her mother.'

Even when his wife had an affair, he did not once think his daughter was not his.

When he was handed the test results, he recalls being in shock: 'I just couldn't digest the news.

'I drove my taxi to the East Coast and spent the whole day in a daze there.

'I kept thinking of the day she was born and how I rushed my wife to the hospital and took care of her and the baby.'

In his anger, he called his ex-wife and demanded an explanation.

'She said perhaps the hospital made a mistake,' he said.

It is now unclear if the girl will be allowed to remain in Singapore, let alone go to school here.

When asked about the case, ICA said it could not comment, citing confidentiality as the reason.

ICA issued about 68,400 student passes to foreigners last year.

In an e-mail reply to The New Paper, an ICA spokesman said: 'ICA welcomes bona fide foreigners to study, work or stay in Singapore.

'At the same time, applications for immigration facilities will have to meet the entry criteria and abide by the relevant guidelines and policies before they can be approved.

'Each application is carefully assessed on its own merits.'

Mr Lim says he won't give up trying to keep the girl in Singapore.

'I'll continue to re-appeal and find out if there are other options.'

He said he would look into adopting her legally, with the help of his mother and three married brothers.

'I will do anything to keep her with me and secure her future.

'Whatever the test says, she is my daughter.'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl may be sent back to Vietnam orphanage

LAWYERS contacted by The New Paper say that the girl's options to remain in Singapore under Mr Lim's care are limited.

Said lawyer Amolat Singh: 'If the man were married, he could arrange to adopt the girl with his wife.

'However, since he is single, it is unlikely he will be allowed to adopt her. More so since the child he is trying to adopt is a girl.'

He added that ICA is strict about such cases and as the DNA test has proven she is not his biological daughter, it is possible that she may be sent back to a Vietnamese orphanage.

Lawyer Edwin Loo of Leonard Loo & Co said another possibility would be for one of Mr Lim's relatives to adopt the girl.

'If he has relatives who can prove themselves to be worthy adoptive parents and can satisfy the criteria for adoption, then perhaps the girl can stay in Singapore,' he added.

[Torres_Mok]

Originally Posted by SingViet

I NEVER SUSPECTED SHE WASN'T MINE

How old is the wife? the papers hv mentioned the man is in his 50s. IMO i thk the wife should be in her late 20s or early 30s. Age gap too big lead to many problems. Generation gap leads to failed marriage.

[hitman69]

hi bro malegant, i saw u....

[Thom07]

Originally Posted by SingViet

I NEVER SUSPECTED SHE WASN'T MINE

Did saw the headline on the front page but didn't bought TNP to read. Never expected such a heart-breaking story. Hope that the girl is able to stay here because I dont think her mother is interested in looking after her anymore.

Originally Posted by Torres_Mok

How old is the wife? the papers hv mentioned the man is in his 50s. IMO i thk the wife should be in her late 20s or early 30s. Age gap too big lead to many problems. Generation gap leads to failed marriage.

I guess this is a reminder that age gap is a key factor in keeping a marriage successful. IMHO, there is no point in finding a young wife when you are so much older.

[Torres_Mok]

Originally Posted by Thom07

Did saw the headline on the front page but didn't bought TNP to read. Never expected such a heart-breaking story. Hope that the girl is able to stay here because I dont think her mother is interested in looking after her anymore.



I guess this is a reminder that age gap is a key factor in keeping a marriage successful. IMHO, there is no point in finding a young wife when you are so much older.

Exactly, young wife will be target by other man and likely to eat outside.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by Torres_Mok

Exactly, young wife will be target by other man and likely to eat outside.

actually younger wife is not the main problem. If the wife loves the man dearly, she will be able to withstand the temptation outside. Its just in the vietnamese culture la. When i saw the advertisement of New Paper on The Straits Times in the morning, they didn't put the nationality. But straight away in my mind, i guess it should be vietnamese. If you know the vietnamese well, u will know this happens frequently and is considered normal among vietnamese ladies

[Honey Boon]

Bro, you mean the majority of the vietnamese girls are "loose" by nature? their culture?

Originally Posted by SingViet

actually younger wife is not the main problem. If the wife loves the man dearly, she will be able to withstand the temptation outside. Its just in the vietnamese culture la.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by Honey Boon

Bro, you mean the majority of the vietnamese girls are "loose" by nature? their culture?

Bro, i don't mean `loose' by nature. But what i mean is playing tricks with foreigners is just in their culture. Vietnamese society is divided into the rich and educated, rich and uneducated and the poor and uneducated. Marrying a rich foreigner and having many undisclosed activities behind the husband's back is just too common among the vietnamese. Stay with the foreigner husband while he is doing well and leaving him if he's broke. Marrying a foreigner is to provide an income source for the family. Not all are like that, but its quite a number.