Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[greener]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

you are in the right forum and asking right questions...

I checked thru your history...your gf is a WL...she was only 19yrs old...

that explains why the hurry to get married...because to you she is a good gal...to me and others...once a WL always a tendency to resort back to WL once things are not going her way...do you want that to happen??...

give the relationship 2 years and time will tell all what will happened if both of you can still love each other after that...you already termed "emotional blackmail" and knowing that why do you need to rush...you are right that your parents may not be able to agree...so take your time to consult and bring her to get to know your family well...let relationship matured a bit more...and get stable...

how old are you today? i guessed you are in mid 20s and should be too young to settle down...if you are late 20s and financially are you stable...have you read bro SV comments about being able to apply LTVP, PR, HBB, etc....with a stable job and income...

6 months relationships to me is a bit rush and still too short to get to know each other...i dun like to be pressured into making decisions...if anyone do that i will walk away...I had done that and will continue to do..."if you trust a WL then pigs can climb trees...and that's my opinion...

Hi Bro Hurricane88,

Thank you for being meticulous and check back the background to my story and issue. I am thankful that i gave out this cry for help and advice.

I am in my early 30s. Financially stable.

I have requested for her to come to visit my parents but she says that her mum will not allow her to come without my parent going over to talk about marraige first. I reckon that this is to prevent her family to lose face in the case of coming to visit me and then later on the marraige never happen. Her mum is worried that I cheat her.

So it puts me in a catch 22 situation. If this is the way it is how will i ever get her to come and know my family first. But yet again i am able to understand her rationale behind her and he family thoughts. They want some sort of a promise before allow things to progress. Again, not the way we handle things here in Singapore.

6 months in indeed short. I hope that I make a wise choice. Breaking her heart if things do not fall thru, is also something that i would want to prevent too.

Dilemma truly. But i need to keep my head clear.

Regards

[adonis]

greener, ask her to bring her parents to an internet cafe in Vietnam with webcam. Webcam with your parents. U offer to pay all the internet expenses. How about this as a first step?

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by greener

Hi All,

I need advice from the bigger community here.

I know a vietnamese lady for 6 months now. I have visited her and her family 2 times now. She is asking to get married soon. I would like to get some opinions here on how i can deal with this dilemma i am in .

Thanks all and look forward to yout inputs.

1. You have gotten very good comments from Bro hurricane ...

2. Whether anot to marry this gal fast or slow is entire depends on you coz ONLY you know and undertand her.

Whether she is a country side gal, city gal, GROs, WL or FL ... know YOU know she is worth marrying.

Time is NO barrier , Age is NO barrier, Race / Ethnics are NO barriers. The ONLY barriers is you n her. Good Comuunications n Actions are an Important criterias n you need to set it right .

3. I have said before in my post , how open is the vn gal in Singapore does not equate that she is open in Vietnam. They are still very traditional in vn. So gal will not bring a guy back just for fun.

So thanks to your posting, I guess many can now know n understand why ? So if u dun loved the gal n no intention to marry the gal, pls dun ruin her n her family.

4. Ask yourself these questions :

A. How much do you know about her, her family, her place she lived in?

B. How long have you into vn n how much do you understand about Vn cultures, thinking, lifestyle, habits?

C. How much time can you set aside to fly there n stay there n understand item (B)? You dun learn just by learning from the thread here.

D. Have she met your parents? Have she interact with your parents?

E. Are you prepared to lived with a gal you have just know for 6 mths.

F. R u Ready for any expected things ?

G. Last but not least, ant expectations from her that she must get PR, LTVP n etc to work ?

5. All answers are within yourself, if u can sort it out, u can find your own answer.

I cannot give u answers for your posting because ONLY you know ... Gals are different, their family are different, even your thinking are different ... There is not Right or Wrong decision BUT the Best Decision to counter the current situation.

Rgds.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by greener

I have requested for her to come to visit my parents but she says that her mum will not allow her to come without my parent going over to talk about marraige first. I reckon that this is to prevent her family to lose face in the case of coming to visit me and then later on the marraige never happen. Her mum is worried that I cheat her.

They want some sort of a promise before allow things to progress.

This type of discussion will lead to NO where. Good Luck to you.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by greener

So it puts me in a catch 22 situation. If this is the way it is how will i ever get her to come and know my family first. But yet again i am able to understand her rationale behind her and he family thoughts. They want some sort of a promise before allow things to progress. Again, not the way we handle things here in Singapore.

only a very young gal aged around 17 to 20 will behave childishly...I dun consider them ready to handle love and marriage...even their thinking weren't matured yet...your age gap was wide and you being matured will knew how to understand this kind of situation...unless you also wanted to jump into it...to me test the gal patience and love for you...if this gal is not wifey material there are plenty decent gals in Vn waiting for you to choose...if really you do qualify, I have 2 university grad aged around 23 to 25 waiting for the right groom...both are working in professional fields and potential to apply LTVP, PR all by themselves...

well dun pm me asking for contact as yet...i will not give...i will pre-qualify each individual guy before arranging meetings in HCM...btw, no play play but marriage after courtship...

[greener]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

only a very young gal aged around 17 to 20 will behave childishly...I dun consider them ready to handle love and marriage...even their thinking weren't matured yet...your age gap was wide and you being matured will knew how to understand this kind of situation...unless you also wanted to jump into it...to me test the gal patience and love for you...if this gal is not wifey material there are plenty decent gals in Vn waiting for you to choose...if really you do qualify, I have 2 university grad aged around 23 to 25 waiting for the right groom...both are working in professional fields and potential to apply LTVP, PR all by themselves...

well dun pm me asking for contact as yet...i will not give...i will pre-qualify each individual guy before arranging meetings in HCM...btw, no play play but marriage after courtship...

Hi Bro Hurricane88,

Thanks for the words of advice. It is much appreciated.

I will have to give this more time and perhaps use this as a test for the love and her patience.

After hearing from you i feel more confident about my stand now. I will have to hold it out. Because it is two persons' life and future at stake.

Regards,

[SingViet]

Most viet countryside gals will prefer marriage with a foreigner FAST, a few months after meeting him. (of course, there are some bros who will want to state his experience is different.. hihihi) Their countryside culture is MARRY first, know each other better after marriage. This will depend on whether you want to take this risk, but the gal, being so young, will be very risky. Countryside gals consider themselves ready for marriage around 18 years old, by 24, they are considered old roi. The risk is there and whether you want to take the plunge and try it out is entirely up to you. For me, i will not dare to try as the risk factor is too high due to the tender age of the gal.

[zion1989]

19 year olds WL wanted to marry so soon? Zhun bor? Maybe she is not earning enough! haha never see before young WL want to marry so soon, where they can earn so much more at the prime age! heee, if she really love u why she cannot wait for you? I think soon, she will start to ask u for money every month

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by zion1989

19 year olds WL wanted to marry so soon? Zhun bor?

Don't think he was trying to refer to WLs. He's referring to foreign brides, I think.



The girl who didn't get married in the end is quite pretty. Very SYT. Seems like top heavy too.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by zion1989

19 year olds WL wanted to marry so soon? Zhun bor? Maybe she is not earning enough! haha never see before young WL want to marry so soon, where they can earn so much more at the prime age! heee, if she really love u why she cannot wait for you? I think soon, she will start to ask u for money every month

after the previous encounter , u grew wiser n seems more n more experience ... can comment on people already.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by SingViet

... (of course, there are some bros who will want to state his experience is different.. hihihi)...

So chim .... words within words ...

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by shysaint

after the previous encounter , u grew wiser n seems more n more experience ... can comment on people already.

not only he grew wiser but he grew never to trust WL...haha...

[Hurricane88]

I had observed that many samsters get to know Vietnam babe (VB) thru Singapore night scene...ie. those working ladies (WL) working in KTV, Pubs in JC or GL...and then later get involved with the WL...first feeling them very different from those local singapore gals and then fell in love with VB or rather small head taking over the big head...all these happened when the WL are still working and sleeping with multiple clients...

ask yourself...are the samsters being naive thinking that WL are suitable to be your wife...samsters have to face so many problems...namely, money loss, time wasting and waiting for VB to finish work, heartbreak seeing them being groped and even going short time (ST) to hotel...many of these KC techniques are being used over and over again...

even the WL is willing to marry you but have you ever thought what happened if she was caught and sent back...you have to spend more money travel to Vietnam to visit and phone bills...what about LTVP, PR, HDB, etc application...what about your parents...can they accept a WL as daughter in-law...

I hope all samster who get involved in WL think using the big head and not the small head...if really any samster wanted to marry a VB, please visit Vietnam often to learn their culture and find a decent VB to be gf then wife... this way will ensure you will have a happy marriage...

the above are purely my observation and opinion...

[Genomes]

Lol i sms her i want f her
she say i talk no good.
wtf???

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by greener

Hi All,

I need advice from the bigger community here.

I know a vietnamese lady for 6 months now. I have visited her and her family 2 times now. She is asking to get married soon. But I think that it is too fast. I would like to spend more time to let the relationship settle down and observe further how things goes in terms of our understanding, life style, values and extended family relationship etc.

But she is saying that her family have now all seen me, and they are gossiping why i am not going to marry her soon. This forms a form of pressure for her and also her parents. It makes them feel sad and disheartened.

For me, i told her not to take what her extended family members or villagers say about me holding back the marraige till a later time ( which i suggested to wait for at least another 9 months to 1 year ) . But to her she cannot tolerate her relatives talking about the idea of me not being able to marry her immediately.

To me, it is normal. I know her, i like her and i want to give it more time. To her perhaps it is a different story, Pressure from her parents and extended family.

She wants me to bring my parents over to see her parents and talk about marraige matters which i told her that my parents find it too rush and too short for a relationship to even talk about marraige. I tend to agree but i know that she is a good girl and will be able to be a good wife.

My girlfriend is saying that she cannot wait so long. If i want her to wait so long, she rather not marry. To me of course it seems like an emotional blackmail. But perhaps she didnt mean it that way.

I would like to get some opinions here on how i can deal with this dilemma i am in .

Thanks all and look forward to yout inputs.

Regards

Is nowadays sg man too soft or should i say u are still a boy to me.
To me you will not be able to handle a vietnamese woman and will 'die' in her hand if she is not that ANGEL u are looking for.Forget about her,if she cannot wait.

Dont believe me,u go and try.All this things that she do is normal for vietnamese woman,so no suprise to senior bro here.

If u insist on lead by her and do what she want,then good luck to u.If u lucky,u got a good one,if not lucky then only yourself to blame