Quote:
Originally Posted by FloweryMonk
thanks brother, now i know full custody is difficult but what does joint custody means? even go overseas holiday must get agreement? She will make difficult by saying no to all things.
i tried to work it out with her but her demands unreasonable, she will say no to all things and just want to make my life like hell.
my son 12 years old. any difference?
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12 years old big difference. At that age, which parent they wish to stay with will carry a lot of weight in court.
In today's paper a woman got care and control of her 11yo girl, reversing an earlier decision to award it to the father because the girl made it clear she wanted to stay with her mother.
If you are certain that your son will say that he prefers to stay with you (no, he won't be asked with his mother present), and you can prove that you can take care of him, financially, have a place for him to stay, stable environment etc, you chances are greatly improved.
Of course we don't know whether you can satisfy all these other conditions, since you mentioned you're in debt and chased out of your own home, although I don't know how that can happen. The home is in your name as well? There is cash value in it after selling? Enough to clear your debts from your share? Where can you and your son stay? Are you employed? Many questions.
What I feel about your care though, is that you should fight. Do it for your son. You have fuxked him up enough by marrying this woman, giving in to her every time, and then having him.
Children need emotionally stable parenting, do you want to subject him to her emotional abuse and blackmail growing up? I can imagine the outcomes that await him in life if you do that, and they are mostly not good ones.
Custody will always be joint, barring the most exceptional of caes and yours is not exceptional enough that either one of you will get sole custody, which applies only to major decisions like which school to attend, approval for major surgery etc. Life affecting decisions.
Bro above gave good practical advice, especially about waiting. But at the same time these are crucial years for your son, and my own experience is that freeing my son from a toxic family environment is the best thing I have done for him.
He was 10 then, he's 15 now. Healthy, happy and confident. Initially it is always hard, very hard on everybody but with time everything gets better also.
Whatever you do, fight hard for as much access time to him as possible. Just showing you are standing up for him in a way you never did before will make a difference.
Unfortunately one difference is that I could afford the fight, and $5k isn't anywhere near enough for the sort of fight you look like you are going to have.
Make sure your son understands what you're trying to do, talk to him. Parental abandonment is the worst emotional experience a child can have.