Quote:
Originally Posted by alea
Dear friends, thanks for your advice and empathy, which I really read carefully through because these are really hard to come by in the real world.
I agree that my wife's and my combined income is already a luxury, and I'm really grateful and contented with it. But the lifestyle that she expects is: she be a stay-at-home-mum and our family must continue to go for overseas trips at least twice a year. Right now we share in the costs of our two overseas trips per year. She feels that she's being "forced" to work all because of me. To her, overseas trips is a non-negotiable because it's her passion in life.
I've told her many times that she should learn to be grateful and not be so negative in life. But she would reply that if she has a loving husband who can provide for her, of course she will not feel negative. So it seems, as always, the blame is on me.
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Overseas trips........ What kind? I go overseas trips 1-3 times per month and i can say 4k salary is more than enough to do it at least once every month for me.
Go south east asia lor.
Taking about "To her, overseas trips is a non-negotiable because it's her passion in life". Share a story about one of my friends.
His wife demanded a car (100k new car with COE, every 3 yrs change new car), long expensive overseas trip at least every year (at least western europe), maid to take care of housework and 5 room flat. All these are financed by my friend alone. His salary below 5k a mth.
Obviously he's unable to finance all these stuffs. So he parked the expenses under credit cards. Every month just able to pay the min $50. Snowballed till no banks dare to loan him anymore money. His wife working as an agent, earning somewhere below 5k. She also parked her expenses under her credit cards. Dont know what she spends on beside groceries and car expenses but still not enough to spend. Got 1 time he got forced by wife to go switzerland with wife and in laws (all paid by him) for a week. He know it was too expensive but cant stop them from going so he opt out himself say he'll stay at home and they can go enjoy themselves. Had a big argument. So end up he went with them. Had to spend an extra $6k just for him to go. And did he enjoy the trip? Not at all. Turns out his wife wanted him to go to be the maid. Take care of the their kid, carry stuffs, etc.
Then the day of reckoning came. Heavily in debt and cannot take any more loans to finance their excessive spending. So the wife kicked my friend out for after expending his usefulness. Changed lock, throw all his personal stuff out the door just before he reach home after a day of work.
After half a yr, my friend couldnt take it anymore. Woke up and filed for divorce. tried to nego with his wife for mutual divorce. Wife wanted the whole flat (which she paid $0 for), $2k per month and another $1.5k for the kids (by that time he had 2 kids with the younger one less than a yr old). He cant even agree to this settlement even if he wanted to as he still has big debt to clear for this credit cards. So they went to court.
The wife really made herself looked so ugly in court till the judge sided with my friend. She told the judge the car is a necessity as she has 2 kids to look after and drive to work daily. Even her own lawyer finds it ridiculous. Then she tried to ask for the flat saying she wont have any place to stay with the kids if she dont get 100% of that 5 room flat. Can always sell and use the partial proceeds to get a smaller flat. Next she asked for the monthly sum to be paid to her. So the court examined his monthly expediture. He spent $100+ on groceries per mth. The wife questioned the court saying "he must have brought many unnecessary stuffs, how can someone spend $100+ on groceries every mth?"
The whole court was dumbfounded. $100+ in NTUC probably only yields you 1 plastic bag of groceries which dont even last you for a week not to say a mth. All in all the wife made her case looked very bad in court. Knowing she's on the losing side, she offered my friend a truce for 2 yrs. Say dont divorce first, we see if things can improve. My friend knew the situation was advantageous to him and recalled how she treated him, decided to go on ahead to finalise the divorce. In the end, he was ordered to pay $1k every month for maintenance of the 2 kids. flat to be split 50/50, no further payments to the wife.