[fallen_guy]

From that day onwards, my life has been living hell. I couldn’t sleep at night. I couldn’t work properly. I couldn’t eat properly. Every fucking night after she finishes work, I would wonder on my bed if she was in hotel or at home. I dared not call as I knew it would break my heart if I learnt she is in hotel.

Sex with her had also changed. She just doesn’t enjoy it anymore. Previously, she was so wet everytime I do her. Now, it feels like a chore to her. That was what I felt.

I knew she had to earn a minimum sum of $10k a month to cover certain expenses here and commitments back home. There was once I gave her $2k. Told her it’s not much but I’m trying to help her cover certain expenses. She was very reluctant to accept. I told her, all this time, I have not given you anything before. Can you just accept? It would make me feel better. She finally accepted.

We had planned to go for a holiday overseas sometime back. I had bought airplane tickets, accommodation and some other activities arrangements. I was so looking forward to this trip. We even went shopping for swimsuits and stuffs. I still could remember being in the changing room with her when she tried on certain swimsuits. Niabeh, I swear I could just fuck her in the room itself. So damn seductive.

Another 2 weeks passed. 1 week before the trip, she broke me the news.

She : I know you cannot accept the fact that I have to sleep with customers. Now, there is someone that wants to bao yang me. Would you rather me sleep with a lot of people or just the selected one that would be able to give me money?
Me : If that’s the case, are you breaking off with me?
She: No, we can still be together.
Me: Why do u still even want me? I can’t give you anything. I am not poor, but I definitely cant afford splashing tens of thousands just to support you. The money I gave you previously was just a one off.
She: I don’t know myself. I feel I am stupid sometimes. But I do love you. I am not even expecting to receive any money from you.
Me : You go ahead with whatever you feel is best for you. Anyway, let’s not talk about this first. Let’s go for the trip first and don’t let anything bother us.
She: Ok. Over there, I am going to fuck your brains out. Anytime I want it, you have to give it to me.
Me: Wahh, even on the beach?
She: Yes, we go do underwater.
Me: Faint. (Then we both laugh)

The day for the trip came. Our flight was next morning at 8.45am. I had wanted to go and pick her when she finishes work and then spend the few hours in hotel to rest first before we head to airport. But she said it would be better if I come pick her at 6am at her place. I didn’t have a very good feel about this but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

3am I text her, don’t drink so much. I come pick you at 6am. She replied ok.
4am I got a text from her, “Die la, got caught”.

I called her. No one answered. I called again. Then the phone was turned off. I went crazy and sent mass smses to her. All without delivery report. I was stoned. I had somewhat anticipated this. But why did I fall for it? Why did I not go and pick her up?

Next question was, do I still go for the trip if she does not turn up? After much thought, I decided to go ahead.

I went airport and waited until the last 5 minutes of check in time to see if she was still coming. I kept smsing her and tried calling her but she was not contactable. She never turned up.

I boarded the plane a sad and lonely man.

For the next 3 days, I thought about a lot of things.

- Had she ever loved me?
- Why did she not tell me the truth if she could not make it?
- What did I do wrong to deserve this? And the list goes on..

Then I realized that in order to get my life back, I really needed to put an end to this.

She only turned her phone back on at night the next day. She sent me a sms. I called her, asked her why? She told me the guy that bao yang her turned up unexpectedly. Kept her with him until the next day. I told her I will call her when I get back home on Monday.

Once I reached airport on Monday, I gave her a call. She was still sleeping. She said, can eat, pick her up at 4.30pm. I was like “What??? Why cannot now?”. She stammer a bit and said that she had to have lunch with one of the bosses as it was his birthday. I said ok as she had told me previously about this. I went home and sleep. Called her again at 4.30pm. She didn’t pick up. I got impatient. Sent 2 smses and called at every interval of 10 minutes. After all this shit that I have gone through for the past 3 days, I have no hesitance to become a nuisance. She finally answered at 5pm.

Me : Can I pick you up now?
She: Not yet. Still out.
Me : Then what time?
She: Maybe at 6pm?
Me: WTF, are you working today?
She: Yes.
Me : Then how the fuck are you going to eat with me? Are you talking sense?
She : (Speechless)

Then I heard a man’s voice in the background.

Me: Where are you? Are you going to eat or not?
She: I call you later (then she ended the call)
She text me a message, I call you at 5.30pm. I replied, No, I give you until 5.15pm then I will call you.

5.15, I called again. She didn’t pick up. I continued calling repeatedly. Finally, at the 8th attempt, she answered. Sounded angry. I ask, where do I pick you. She said, I’m at the ktv. I said I come find you now. She just ended the call.

Once I reached her workplace, I called her. Waited about 10 minutes before she came out. She did not look too happy. Prolly by the fact that I called her like crazy when she was with the guy that bao yang her. Told her I wanted to eat somewhere far. She was very hesitant. Persuaded her for a bit before she agreed. Took the cab and said bring me to the nearest 81. She heard and asked why go hotel. I didn’t answer her. She forced me to answer and kept saying can don’t go? I said I got a lot of things to talk to you about. She reluctantly agreed.

Inside the room, I started questioning her on what happened the night before we were supposed to go. She told me the guy picked her up without warning and he turned off her phone. I felt she was lying. I suspected that she already knew she couldn’t go with me for some time back. Just that she couldn’t bear to break the news to me. Prolly thought I would go crazy and do some crazy stuffs to jeopardize someone baoing her. I told her that she has changed. She told me, “My whole purpose here is to earn money. What can I do? The guy is supporting me. How can I refuse such offer?”

I kept quiet for a while. I gave her an amulet that I got her. Told her this amulet will take care of her in the future. Told her let’s break up. She looked at me and shook her head. I told her, why not, there’s no meaning anymore. She kept quiet. Lit a cigarette. I also lit a cigarette. As soon as she finished, I told her I wanted her. I started kissing her. She was slightly hesitant at first. I told her, let’s make this our last. There’s no more chance anymore. She looked at me and nodded.

I removed her pants and panties. I removed my pants. Continued kissing her. I could see that she was tearing. I didn’t bother. Somehow, my dick didn’t respond. I was probably so overcome with emotional grief for the past 3 days that I was not even in the mood for sex. I just wanted to get back at the guy that bao yang her that im fucking his girl that he paid good money for. For free! For tens of times!! Raw!!

Anyway, after trying for a good 5 minutes, I realized I just couldn’t do it. I hugged her on missionary position and asked, “Have you ever loved me before?”. She nodded her head. That was all I wanted to hear.

I told her I couldn’t get it up and put on my pants. She sobered up and wiped off some tears. Then we left the hotel without saying another word. I walked her back to the KTV as no cab wanted to stop for us.

What saddens me that day was all the while during the walk back, she did not even attempt to hold my hand in public. So afraid that the guy that bao yang her could see. This was the same girl, just 2 months ago was so lovey dovey with me. So much has changed. I reached home, as soon as I entered my room, I broke down and cried my heart out. So much grief but I was so much more relieved after that.

Later at night, she text me. “对不起，我现在都不知道怎么面对你，我伤害了你，很想你打我几下出气就不用那么伤心了，我在爱情面前又没 抬起头，对不起”. I replied “不要在说了.你爱过我是彀了.我还爱你,但是,我不要在受伤多一期“. She said she’s sorry again. I guess that would be the last time I’m going to sms her.

This has been an emotional roller coaster for me. But I feel that I have grown. Sometime back, a brother told me before to go ahead, go get yourself knocked down being KC-ed. There is no better way to experience the perils and thrills of cheonging if you just don’t experience a relationship with a WL. I have gone through and I have learnt. What does not kill me makes me stronger.

I have also learned that if I am to ever be in another relationship with another WL, I should never treat them the same as other normal girls. These girls are here for a sole reason, which is MONEY. Even if they were real at first, they would all eventually change. All of them.

I am not bitter. In fact, I treasure this experience that I had. I hope to get involved in another relationship with another WL one day and gauge if I am stronger and wiser than the first time round.

Just sharing my story.