Quote:
Originally Posted by nanakochang75
I understand what you guys are saying and honestly i have thought about that too, however, i did not want my son to suffer this. I am also hanging on to the slim hope that things will be back to normal one day and the vow that i made on my wedding day.. "in sickness and health", she is sick and i am suffering, both are true but does that warrant me to walk out of this? Honestly, i do not have the courage to go down that road as i do not know how she and my son will take it.
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If you are willing to hang on and try to get things back to the way they were, then you really have to think about sitting down with her and setting ultimatums.
I cannot picture the extent of her problem, but will assume it is really is that bad it is interfering with the normal functioning of both you and your son's lives.
Tell her you and your son cannot live like this anymore, and she has to change and you will be there to help her. Which I am pretty sure you already have, but the absence of consequence might be why she's still behaving the way she does.
Tell your son that your doing this, and why without over complicating it. Affirm your love and affection for him, do not ever let him feel confused about it, and at any point feel he is in any way to blame.
Children are more emotionally mature than we give them credit for, its adults behaving loudly and badly that does their heads in. Keep a cool head around him even if she loses hers.
After all your attempts at soft persuasion, maybe you simply have to knock some truths into her: that her behavior is simply causing you and your child to suffer and she has to stop.
Threaten her with divorce, and if that still doesn't work, your only options would be to really go ahead and leave, and take your son, or shut up and live with it.
As for your sexual needs, I have neither advice to give nor judgement to pass, but definitely do not be caught because that really will complicate things for you.