[bigbirdbird]

Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil tycoon demanded that divorce proceeding begin at one against his young wife.

"What's the problem?"

"I want to hit that adulteress bitch for breach of contract," snapped the magnate.

"I don't know if that'll fly," replied the lawyer. "I mean, your wife isn't a piece of property, you do not own her."

"Damn right," the tycoon rejoined "but I sure as hell expect exclusive drilling rights!"