Very lost in life

[Needsomeadvice]

Hi all, sorry I’m not sure where to start even
But I will try to spell it out as clear as possible

I’m in the age group of 34 to 38
I used to travel quite abit for work
During one of my work trip, I knew a girl

Nothing special came out during the trip but she took my number and asked me out.

So we went out for a few time and there’s some chemistry between both of us and we had great sex(protected)

She’s looking for a guy to settle down, and that’s when I knew I screwed up when I lied to her saying that I’m single.

Unable to get past my own issue, I decided to tell her and thought things will just end there
But she accepted that I’m married after some drama and tears, and she gave me time to divorce with my wife within 1 year.

Point to note
Things are not great between me and my wife
But not to the extend of divorcing her
The last time I had sex with my wife was like in 2019
I feel that my love for my wife has become a responsibility instead and there is no more growth in our relationship

But with this girl, she seems like the perfect woman to settle down with but I do not know, after all I just knew her for less than 2 months

I’m not sure if I’m willing to throw away my marriage of 8years for this girl

On a side note, this girl feels like your first love and you can feel that she genuinely love me kind
But as all relationship in the beginning, not sure if that would change

I’m not sure what is my question here, just wanna share my story here and listen to inputs from you guys

And if this is required, the new girl is not as pretty as my wife and older by 2 years too

[sammyboyfor]

You say your current marriage is devoid of any sex whatsoever so I can't think of any reason to carry on with things. You might as well join a monastery.

If you're willing to accept the fact that your second relationship could end up just like your present marriage after a few years then i say go for it. :D

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

[Banaber]

how experienced are you with where and how this girl come from?:confused:

[Needsomeadvice]

how experienced are you with where and how this girl come from?:confused:

She’s a decent girl
Not ktv or nightlife sort of girl

[drainage]

Just remember... Girl come and go but wife will stay, make good choice

[sammyboyfor]

Just remember... Girl come and go but wife will stay, make good choice

50% of all marriages end in divorce.

[shooter1]

Just remember... Girl come and go but wife will stay, make good choice

only if your wife are not Girl~~:D

[fallen11]

another one
only 3rd party appear then thinking of divorce / ending a current relationship.

whether you start / carry on things with the new girl
or ending your current relationship / divorce
these are 2 different matters
never let both things cloud your decision making together. chances are you will just be leaving 1 nightmare to begin in another.
big mistake

your wife sucks? then divorce her first. whether another girl appears or not.
after things ended. then look for someone new.
dont mix both problems together, these are different problems.

[cuscorex92]

dude, its just lust and 新鲜感, fades thru times, its gonna be the same picture of wat your current marriage is.
another point to note, divorcing current marriage and remarry, be very sure she's wont wan to give herslf a chance walkin your ex-wife's path, & be 'stalkin' you, you like tis?

[scumofsociety]

Some quick thoughts: 1. A marriage born out of cheating, that’s not a good start imo 2. Legal and economic implications - alimony and kids, if u have any? 3. U mentioned u knew her from work trip so she’s foreign, what’s her motive then to want to settle down with you ? 4. How well u know this girl? Cause jumping from a sexless marriage to another with a person u Dk seems like a short term solution. Imo guys need sex as a physical need; for laddies is an emotional want. Sounds like it’s lust as bros mentioned above. Skinship and sex can give u the false illusion of “love”. Women go menopausal in their 40-50s so u mentioned this lady is even older than wife so… sounds not promising also for the foreseeable future for sex either. 5. Did u speak to ur wife to find out what’s the issue(?)

I could go on but hmm need more info to work on and if inadequate sex is the issue, just go for paid sex lor. 家里吃白饭，外面加菜 :D. Your Partner for growth, stability and emotional support, best of both worlds.

[tanweiliang01]

Hi all, sorry I’m not sure where to start even
But I will try to spell it out as clear as possible

I’m in the age group of 34 to 38
I used to travel quite abit for work
During one of my work trip, I knew a girl

Nothing special came out during the trip but she took my number and asked me out.

So we went out for a few time and there’s some chemistry between both of us and we had great sex(protected)

She’s looking for a guy to settle down, and that’s when I knew I screwed up when I lied to her saying that I’m single.

Unable to get past my own issue, I decided to tell her and thought things will just end there
But she accepted that I’m married after some drama and tears, and she gave me time to divorce with my wife within 1 year.

Point to note
Things are not great between me and my wife
But not to the extend of divorcing her
The last time I had sex with my wife was like in 2019
I feel that my love for my wife has become a responsibility instead and there is no more growth in our relationship

But with this girl, she seems like the perfect woman to settle down with but I do not know, after all I just knew her for less than 2 months

I’m not sure if I’m willing to throw away my marriage of 8years for this girl

On a side note, this girl feels like your first love and you can feel that she genuinely love me kind
But as all relationship in the beginning, not sure if that would change

I’m not sure what is my question here, just wanna share my story here and listen to inputs from you guys

And if this is required, the new girl is not as pretty as my wife and older by 2 years too

bro, i think need more communication with your wife. of cos sex helps with any relationship, but like other bros said, i think it's the freshness of your new fling that makes you feel wanted/something you yearn for. i suggest you take a look at your new fling's interest (what she can gain from knowing you. you never know whether it's an act or not since SG PR is highly valuable). if you think your marriage has no meaning, best to hang on first and just go for paid sex. act only when you're have a clearer mind, else you're on disadvantaged ground. grass is always greener before you make the move, but is it always ? only happens in your mind

[KinksHunter]

I understand what you're going through.
It seems you've met someone new during your work travels.
You guys had a connection and even got close romantically.
But there's a twist: you're already married.

Being honest about your marital status was a good step. Now, you're at a crossroads.
You've been with your wife for a while, but things aren't going great. You don't feel the same way as before.
On the other hand, this new woman seems amazing, even though you've known her for just a short time.

Here's what you might want to think about:

Being Truthful:
It's good that you told the new woman the truth about your marriage. Honesty is important.

Your Marriage:
Try to think about what's not working in your marriage. Can it be fixed? Maybe talking openly with your wife could help.

New Relationship:
You've only known this new woman briefly. Sometimes, at the start, everything seems perfect. Take your time to know her better.

Thinking Ahead:
Think about how your choices will affect your future. Divorce is a big step, especially after being married for so long.

Understanding Yourself:
Understand why you're drawn to this new woman. Is it because things aren't great with your wife? Or is it something deeper?

Take Your Time:
Don't rush into big decisions. It's okay to take time to figure things out.

It might help to talk to a professional who can guide you through this.
Remember, there's no easy answer.

Take it slow, and think about what will make you and others involved happy in the long run.

[Needsomeadvice]

dude, its just lust and 新鲜感, fades thru times, its gonna be the same picture of wat your current marriage is.
another point to note, divorcing current marriage and remarry, be very sure she's wont wan to give herslf a chance walkin your ex-wife's path, & be 'stalkin' you, you like tis?

Back in 2019, I dated someone too
She was 2 years younger than my wife
She also found out I’m married, demanded me to divorce with my wife
Same shit, different year. Also gave me 6 months to divorce her

But unfortunately covid came, and we didn’t see each other for 2 years.
We were talking off and on, and she’s the person I will drunk dial.
But the urge to divorce my wife wasn’t as strong as this current girl
I don’t feel loved by her much.



Some quick thoughts: 1. A marriage born out of cheating, that’s not a good start imo 2. Legal and economic implications - alimony and kids, if u have any? 3. U mentioned u knew her from work trip so she’s foreign, what’s her motive then to want to settle down with you ? 4. How well u know this girl? Cause jumping from a sexless marriage to another with a person u Dk seems like a short term solution. Imo guys need sex as a physical need; for laddies is an emotional want. Sounds like it’s lust as bros mentioned above. Skinship and sex can give u the false illusion of “love”. Women go menopausal in their 40-50s so u mentioned this lady is even older than wife so… sounds not promising also for the foreseeable future for sex either. 5. Did u speak to ur wife to find out what’s the issue(?)

I could go on but hmm need more info to work on and if inadequate sex is the issue, just go for paid sex lor. 家里吃白饭，外面加菜 :D. Your Partner for growth, stability and emotional support, best of both worlds.

1) yea, I know that, but I think she realised that too
2) no kids
3) can’t answer you that, don’t have the answer too.
4) as per my first post, I honestly Duno what I’m doing in my life now
5) my wife texted me a few days ago, asking if I still want to be with her. Didn’t have the courage to tell her anything. Feel damn sorry for my wife, but at the same time the new girl like y’all said, gives me fresh feeling and feeling of being loved

In regards to paid sex, yes. I have tons of it when I go overseas for work
In fact too much

Not sure if it’s the fact that I can bang the new girl raw, and it gives me a more “connected” feeling that I love her

[Needsomeadvice]

bro, i think need more communication with your wife. of cos sex helps with any relationship, but like other bros said, i think it's the freshness of your new fling that makes you feel wanted/something you yearn for. i suggest you take a look at your new fling's interest (what she can gain from knowing you. you never know whether it's an act or not since SG PR is highly valuable). if you think your marriage has no meaning, best to hang on first and just go for paid sex. act only when you're have a clearer mind, else you're on disadvantaged ground. grass is always greener before you make the move, but is it always ? only happens in your mind


Actually my wife is not Singaporean too, and they are from the same country
Wife is still on long term pass

Been sitting down and thinking about many things, but can’t seem to find the right answer

My circle of friends are the same breed as me, love to go whoring
And occasionally have a mistress

Can’t get any advice from them
Feeling damn messed up from feeling sorry about my wife, and can’t bear to let the new one go

[Pictionary]

Actually my wife is not Singaporean too, and they are from the same country
Wife is still on long term pass

Been sitting down and thinking about many things, but can’t seem to find the right answer

My circle of friends are the same breed as me, love to go whoring
And occasionally have a mistress

Can’t get any advice from them
Feeling damn messed up from feeling sorry about my wife, and can’t bear to let the new one go
I think ah, you cannnot think properly. Have a very nice sex with her, like a very dirty sex with her, zhut zhut her or whatever. After that, have a proper conversation with her.

Also do the same to your girlfriend(not wife), zhut zhut or whatever. After that, proper conversation.

Maybe it is not a proper advice and your sex is really not fanastic at all, however maybe this is the way to start moving the conversation between your wife and you. And also same for your girlfriend. Same thing to your girlfriend. Otherwise things cannot be moved.

**Please do not say these things outside. It's a little sensitive topic, especially among women.

[Needsomeadvice]

I think ah, you cannnot think properly. Have a very nice sex with her, like a very dirty sex with her, zhut zhut her or whatever. After that, have a proper conversation with her.

Also do the same to your girlfriend(not wife), zhut zhut or whatever. After that, proper conversation.

Maybe it is not a proper advice and the sex is really not fanastic at all, however maybe this is the way to start moving the conversation between your wife and you. And also same for your girlfriend. Same thing to your girlfriend. Otherwise things cannot be moved.

**Please do not say these things outside. It's a little sensitive topic, especially among women.


This is something I can’t share with any of my real life friend
Hence the new nick, because I think I’m a total 100% dick/asshole/ whatever name you can think in the book

My gf actually realised this and before we could talk
She started crying and say things like

If you leave me, I’m gonna jump off a bridge
Or
If you leave me, I’m gonna kill you and poison myself

That’s kind of when I realised I messed up very badly


As for my wife, she’s at her hometown now. Can’t talk to her now
This is not over the phone news

[Pictionary]

This is something I can’t share with any of my real life friend
Hence the new nick, because I think I’m a total 100% dick/asshole/ whatever name you can think in the book

My gf actually realised this and before we could talk
She started crying and say things like

If you leave me, I’m gonna jump off a bridge
Or
If you leave me, I’m gonna kill you and poison myself

That’s kind of when I realised I messed up very badly


As for my wife, she’s at her hometown now. Can’t talk to her now
This is not over the phone news
I need to correct my reply a bit. I saying the sex between you and your wife. And also the sex between you and your girlfriend is not really fanastic at all. It's just normal penetration that's all.

I telling you to satisfy your inner sexual needs first, then can have a really proper conversation, otherwise you really cannot think.

No use to talk over the phone. Just reply her with a simple yes or no first. Meet up with her at a hotel, zhut zhut, then you can really think and talk to her properly. Otherwise you can't.

You can finish the sex and then hold the condom in your hand and tell her..... the condom is very full and this is a sign of my love to you. As i write this, this is getting really sick.... i dun think the female readers will really like what i write.... urrrgh.

[Needsomeadvice]

I need to correct my reply a bit. I saying the sex between you and your wife. And also the sex between you and your girlfriend is not really fanastic at all. It's just normal penetration that's all.

I telling you to satisfy your inner sexual needs first, then can have a really proper conversation, otherwise you really cannot think.

No use to talk over the phone. Just reply her with a simple yes or no first. Meet up with her at a hotel, zhut zhut, then you can really think and talk to her properly. Otherwise you can't.

You can finish the sex and then hold the condom in your hand and tell her..... the condom is very full and this is a sign of my love to you. As i write this, this is getting really sick.... i dun think the female readers will really like what i write.... urrrgh.

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

I’m not sure how the conversation will go between the gf and the wife

I might end up on the news though

[demonhunter]

Since she gave you 1 year grace period , continue banging her and come back post after 1 year ...


your questions might be different by then .


:D

[Pictionary]

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

I’m not sure how the conversation will go between the gf and the wife

I might end up on the news though
Aiyo, of course you cannot think straight, very frustrated and very fed up because you have not satisfied yourself to the max. You are most probably cooped up due to boss and colleague ranting to you and your work is very fucked up or your report writing really like kingarten work or not to the point.

***********SORRY GUYS & GIRLS
Need to advise this pathetic guy
**************

Your entire life from graduating to now is most probably 7 to 10.
Just use no.1 or 2 will do, got it? Urrrggh.
Just fuck in the chicken farm. You know how the cats do the sicko acts during midnight, meowwwwww.....

Got it????

[Pictionary]

This is something I can’t share with any of my real life friend
Of course you cannot share with your real life friends. Because all your real life friends have high/acceptable social status. My real life friends are very low social status so I can easily share with them without any consequences.

I met a very intelligent and very pretty lady in this forum. She blocked me for whatever reasons. However because I have very poor health then she unblocked me. I not very smart and the work very crap. She is the one that I fucked with her and have an interactive conversation with her. Even up to now I sometimes I still following. I dun want to disturb her life and if i whatsapp her, she will never reply to me. So it's either bedtime or going out for a proper dinner. It's a bit disappointing I cannot have both.

Of course life is very painful. Yes, it's a very satisfying sexual experience which I cannot disclosure too much because it will definitely affect her. Sometimes my health is just too unbearable, I just think of these sexisfying experience, then my life is less unbearable.

Then the work walao is really machiam like.... I dun think I will really get any proper answers here. Most likely is a bit of toxic replies. Maybe it works, mayhe it does not. The work really sometimes is inhuman. I sometimes have to accustom myself to link the informations together, just like filling up the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle with limited skills and knowledge. Can it be done? Is there an easier way to do it?

Your life is really glamorous, however my life isn't. I dun come from Ivy league school and need to force myself to be knowledge, skillful and apply in real life. Can or not?

Life is really sucks. Frustrated > Anger > despair > ..... > suicide. Just dun go down the path. I have faced these issues many times myself.

[Needsomeadvice]

Since she gave you 1 year grace period , continue banging her and come back post after 1 year ...


your questions might be different by then .


:D


This is exactly my thought
Just that I need to balance time between my work, wife and gf
And hopefully I don’t get caught 😳

Fact that I need to travel for work, saves me tons of explanation

[BoLiang]

great sex will eventually slow down or come to an end. The rational question to ask is what is in for the girl-in-waiting? Money? Or simply just family?

2 months in and you think that shes the perfect 1 like what you went through in the initial marriage so I would put that as moment of impulse.

Cool down and review all that you know...or dont know about the new girl.

[Taffy83]

Hi all, sorry I’m not sure where to start even
But I will try to spell it out as clear as possible

I’m in the age group of 34 to 38
I used to travel quite abit for work
During one of my work trip, I knew a girl

Nothing special came out during the trip but she took my number and asked me out.

So we went out for a few time and there’s some chemistry between both of us and we had great sex(protected)

She’s looking for a guy to settle down, and that’s when I knew I screwed up when I lied to her saying that I’m single.

Unable to get past my own issue, I decided to tell her and thought things will just end there
But she accepted that I’m married after some drama and tears, and she gave me time to divorce with my wife within 1 year.

Point to note
Things are not great between me and my wife
But not to the extend of divorcing her
The last time I had sex with my wife was like in 2019
I feel that my love for my wife has become a responsibility instead and there is no more growth in our relationship

But with this girl, she seems like the perfect woman to settle down with but I do not know, after all I just knew her for less than 2 months

I’m not sure if I’m willing to throw away my marriage of 8years for this girl

On a side note, this girl feels like your first love and you can feel that she genuinely love me kind
But as all relationship in the beginning, not sure if that would change

I’m not sure what is my question here, just wanna share my story here and listen to inputs from you guys

And if this is required, the new girl is not as pretty as my wife and older by 2 years too

Hi Bro, it's always a push and pull factors that caused man to make the mistakes. I am quite sure you already have some decision in mind, that is to be with the new gal, just need some confirmation from bros in this forum.

Maybe ask yourself how was things like before when u just met your wife last time, and how did it ended up like the current situation?

Next is what's your plan with the new gal? After all she is with you for just two months, are you very sure she got the quality as a good wife? I feel it's too early to make a decision.

Whatever it is, any decision you make be it right or wrong, you will need to suffer the consequences, make your choice wisely as you can never turn back time. All the best bro.

[Pictionary]

Deleted ---

[178noobnoob]

I would rather stick to your wife only as you never know what your gf have to offer. Maybe years later, history repeats?

[Pictionary]

Once in a while the chicken farm apply. Just dun do it everytime unless no choice. It really depends on your job scope nature. Everyday is a moderate learning. No one can adjust to it with the adjustment of 9% GST, just enjoy the chicken while it last, please dun think too much. I assume everyone is in pressure cooking learning environment, it take a while for readjustment.

** Disclaimer, it does not apply to everyone.

[CookCrew]

Just proceed with divorce since it sounds liken nothing but a burden limiting your life experience. You are then free to meet more interesting girls without any guilt :)

[NotVeryRare]

Just proceed with divorce since it sounds liken nothing but a burden limiting your life experience. You are then free to meet more interesting girls without any guilt :)


Agreed Agreed :eek:

[Zetyalpha]

Hi all, sorry I’m not sure where to start even
But I will try to spell it out as clear as possible

I’m in the age group of 34 to 38
I used to travel quite abit for work
During one of my work trip, I knew a girl

Nothing special came out during the trip but she took my number and asked me out.

So we went out for a few time and there’s some chemistry between both of us and we had great sex(protected)

She’s looking for a guy to settle down, and that’s when I knew I screwed up when I lied to her saying that I’m single.

Unable to get past my own issue, I decided to tell her and thought things will just end there
But she accepted that I’m married after some drama and tears, and she gave me time to divorce with my wife within 1 year.

Point to note
Things are not great between me and my wife
But not to the extend of divorcing her
The last time I had sex with my wife was like in 2019
I feel that my love for my wife has become a responsibility instead and there is no more growth in our relationship

But with this girl, she seems like the perfect woman to settle down with but I do not know, after all I just knew her for less than 2 months

I’m not sure if I’m willing to throw away my marriage of 8years for this girl

On a side note, this girl feels like your first love and you can feel that she genuinely love me kind
But as all relationship in the beginning, not sure if that would change

I’m not sure what is my question here, just wanna share my story here and listen to inputs from you guys

And if this is required, the new girl is not as pretty as my wife and older by 2 years too

If you have no children and can afford to get a divorce. Do it, but not for this side chick if yours. It seems your wife cannot satisfied your needs and your side child is looking for a provider by giving you sex.

It is still cheaper to keep her. The choice is yours.

[fantasyrulz]

If a relationship is bad ask yourself if u can fix it.

If not worth then divorce simple be man alpha.

All your feeling of guilty ah etc I understand 100%
You have to be cold hearted and break it to your wife and treat her like a friend. Cry sad sentimental thoughts will come but you got to man up.

How many more years u want to torture yourself and her if u stay on this toxic broken relationship?

Break it so both of u can start healing and carry on with life

Trust me I have been through more shyt then most people here.
Went through divorced and I initiated it, never cheated whatsoever no third-party, no ktv, kio girls all this no smoke no alcohol whatsoever.

No children, Sexless marriage, never sleep together, communication break down, toxic behavior, strange habit, bad relationship with my parents etc I fking endure everything

I was alone all the fking way. U at least got a misstress to share your burden I got NONE.

Yet I endured the whole divorce drama, talk about past talk about love that we used to have the memories the things we buy the places we go bla bla bla

All these toxic confirm u will understand yet u gotta man up. Let her go. Your not dead but just ending a bad relationship.

[fantasyrulz]

If a relationship is bad ask yourself if u can fix it.

If not worth then divorce simple be man alpha.

All your feeling of guilty ah etc I understand 100%
You have to be cold hearted and break it to your wife and treat her like a friend. Cry sad sentimental thoughts will come but you got to man up.

How many more years u want to torture yourself and her if u stay on this toxic broken relationship?

[KangTuo]

I feel that my love for my wife has become a responsibility instead and there is no more growth in our relationship

I’m not sure if I’m willing to throw away my marriage of 8years for this girl



Wake up your idea. It is stupid to let go a 8 year marriage for a girl that you just know for few months.

It is love that grew into responsibility. What no growth?

When you accept a person’s love, you have certain obligations to that person. When you accept a person’s love in marriage and your spouse gives you her whole life, you become responsible for your her; and you have obligations to that person that you must meet.

Actually my wife is not Singaporean too, and they are from the same country
Wife is still on long term pass

Been sitting down and thinking about many things, but can’t seem to find the right answer

My circle of friends are the same breed as me, love to go whoring
And occasionally have a mistress

Can’t get any advice from them
Feeling damn messed up from feeling sorry about my wife, and can’t bear to let the new one go

When I was at your age, me and my group of SBF buddies same same like go pick up vietnamese girls at pub/ktv and keep as number 2 / mistress. But we all know that once they want to climb up to be number 1, it is time to let go of them.

Can't bear but still must let go the new one.



My gf actually realised this and before we could talk
She started crying and say things like

If you leave me, I’m gonna jump off a bridge
Or
If you leave me, I’m gonna kill you and poison myself


Pattern more than badminton.

This is exactly my thought
Just that I need to balance time between my work, wife and gf
And hopefully I don’t get caught 😳

Fact that I need to travel for work, saves me tons of explanation

I got caught many times for fooling around and keeping mistress.
Not all wife are same forgiving. So when eat out, always clean up before going home to the wife

[milfbeater]

obsession over girls and sex is just a phase
once u get over it, it doesnt become a big deal

[LuSiWen]

hahahaha!!!! true not every women forgive like me