FUCKING SICK JOKES!

[sbwow]

As per title, this thread is for fucking sick jokes that are out of this world.
Do vent out your imagination / fantasy if any.

Please do not perform these acts in the real world, you will get into trouble with authorities.

Let me start.

A Memorable Tekan

Been wanting to tekan this girl since she's playing hard to get for months. During our daily kinky conversations, knew she likes BDSM therefore suggested doing it at hotel 81 citing even better than Fifty Shades of Grey. Before this meet up, I ensured to store up 2 months worth of cum all ready for this lil' bitch that's been giving me blue balls. Upon arrival at Hotel 81, I quickly brought out ropes and tied her up making sure everything is firmly in place. To give her a sense of hopelessness when being tied up, I placed a black colored eye mask over her candid eyes. During this process, one after another, cheeky and sadistic thoughts came to my mind. :D

Straight to action, ripped off all her clothes leaving a fully naked chick laying on the floor thinking what was going to happen to her. Immediately, pulled down my pants and unloaded 2 months worth of cum on her face, spreading it across like a face mask. Afterwards, socket her panty and my underwear over her head till she cant breathe.

I wanted her to say she can't breathe.
To my surprise, words that uttered from her mouth was 'I am thirsty'.
WTFFF! This made me even hornier!

Ok... Luckily, I'd brought a pair of scissors for rope cutting earlier. Utilized it to cut a small gap between the layers of panty/underwear over her mouth to which she quickly gasped for air.

Seeing that sad little bitch laying naked on the ground and wanting to quench her thirst, I walked over to the dining table and grabbed a bottle of water. Upon retracing my steps, I decided she should be quenched in another way. :rolleyes: I rubbed my prick at least a dozen times making sure it's super hard, erected and fat. Almost gone crazy at this stage now. Slowly, I helped her up and positioned her on an upright position telling her 'water's here', but in fact my dick was just an inch from where her mouth was. I could feel my heart pounding so fast just thinking about this perverse act. Without further ado, I aligned my dick as she was opening her mouth expecting the bottle tip to be there. Damn surprise for her, this time it was my tip entering. hahahah. Following this, I thrusted into her mouth like there's no tomorrow with tat dick at the speed of marathon runners when they hear the gun sound. She gagged and choked, saliva coupled with my cum ozzing out of her mouth, dripping all over her young, tender body. She pleaded and refused desperately trying to pull her head away, to which I refused and held onto her head firmly for a good 5 mins. During this forceful penetration, I told her 'Quenched your thirst lil bitch, drink it all up and daddy will let you go', she had no choice but to comply. Dang, I swore she slurped and burped when I emptied this past 2 months on her. :D

Afterwards, it was getting late so I laid her on the floor, got changed into my clothes and wore back my face mask. Just as I was opening the door preparing to leave, I took a quick glance and saw her laying there motionlessly. Guess she was too mind blown, which she initially wanted to get ero but received a tummy fully loaded with cum, also not forgetting a free face mask which I took 2 months to prepare. :D

Long story short, closed the door, placed a door knob hanger stated "Please do not disturb" :D

Upon reaching the lobby, I walked up to the receptionist and extended another 7 days for her making sure this will leave an impression she will never forget. :D

[sbwow]

My Perverted Neighbour

It was just like a regular day except this time when I reached home after school, I heard mom shouting 'Missing panties at the laundry area again!!!'
Just an overview, our laundry area happens to be at the corridor due to sun being more acccessible...
This time, it was my favourite "Victoria's Secret Black Lace Cheeky Panty" missing! I spent over a hundred bucks purchasing this set! What is a Victoria's Secret set without that panty!!!
I decided it was time to find out who the real culprit was for pissing off the wrong girl.

The next day, I left school earlier and secretly camped from the opposite HDB block which is in view of my house laundry area. After few hours of waiting, I spotted my neighbour leaving his house. What got me suspicious was, this time uncle was frantically looking around. I quickly lowered my head against the parapet wall making sure he doesn't see me. Within a few couple of steps, he set foot on my house laundry area, reached out his hand and pulled my Coquettish Soft Pink Lace Panty off the laundry line. "Darn sicko, why is he always targetting my panties!", I thought to myself. I always greeted him 'uncle' whenever I see him, thought he was a nice honest chap...

The first thing uncle did was quickly grabbed hold of my panty and rushed to the nearest staircase landing. He proceeded to take out his weiner and started rubbing my soft felt panty onto his old limping dick. To think he actually felt safe, never would he expected I was watching him from the opposite block. As he was performing the perverted act, I quickly slipped into my pocket, took out my phone and got ready to film him from afar. While zooming in on the camera app, he suddenly let out a sense of relief which looks like he was already done.

I couldn't believe it! This Sick Old Fart was actually done in 10 seconds?
Wow!
Probably with my sexy panty, he couldn't last long...

Afterwards, that sicko went back to my laundry area and clipped the panty back on the line. Hmm, I thought he usually steals, so why did he put it back? Perhaps, he was afraid as my mom constantly makes a fuss. He must have heard it. After the sicko went back into his house, I hurried back to my laundry area, went back into my house and took a pair of dental gloves, fit it into my hands and went back to the laundry line. Carefully, I placed the dirty soiled panty into a zip lock bag, collecting evidence of his cum. Next thing, took out my handphone and was preparing to dial the police hotline when suddenly I stopped. A better idea came to mind...

Calling the cops is way too easy, I want him to suffer...

After this incident, I suggested to everyone to hang lingerie inside the house to which they agreed. I wouldn't tell them about this sicko just yet, as I have other plans...

In next couple of days, it will be my male childhood friend's birthday. Therefore, I gave him a call to meet him off the west coast of a discreet park, promising he would enjoy it. On the actual day, when he finally arrived, I put on a pair of black latex gloves and proceeded to take off the soiled pungent pink lace panty from the zip lock bag. Yes, it is exactly the same piece that old fart used to wank himself off. I dangled the soiled panty infront of my childhood friend and he immediately put it over his head and smelled it so hard I could hear him snort. He inhaled and answered "Wow, such a nice smell. Is that your squirt? Ahhhhh... yessss... I love it!!!" I couldn't contain the evil laughter as I quickly turned my head away. He was actually smelling and licking that old fart's cum. HAHAHAHHA and there he was enjoying it. Sick little bastard... While he was smelling it intensely, I unzipped his pants, removed the soiled panty off his head and rubbed it on his dick mentioning "This is the real surprise!" Proceeded to hammer his cock so freaking hard, he couldn't help it, and in a few moments, he came. When deed was over, he thanked me profusely and said 'It is the best birthday gift I ever have!' which accompanied a teasing wink. Words couldnt contain my laughter as I gave him the brightest smile which he thought I was being nice. We part ways after and once again, I kept the panty in the zip lock bag.

This childhood friend of mine wouldn't have known he was just a piece of pawn in my game of chess... You will see why later...
There he thought it was his "Lucky Day~". HAHAHA.

Once I reached home, I noticed that sick old fart loitering around near my house laundry area. I guess these few days of not having a piece of our garment does make him hornier. I purposely took out that very soiled panty and hung it on the laundry line, making sure he noticed it. He gave a few sneak peeks which made me smirked secretly.

After a week has gone, I suddenly awoke to old fart's wife creating a commotion outside of our house. It seems old fart has done something wrong, so what could it be??? I opened my house front gate, glanced over and saw standing infront was the old fart, face fully covered with tiny bumps. It looks like herpes!!! Not only was he infected, but it looks like his wife was also infected.

Now now now, I knew this was going to happen. I waited so many days for this and it granted my wish.
My goal is accomplished, he is infected and must have used the panty to rub all over his fucking cock and face.
As to why he has gotten himself a full load of herpes, I can explain why.

Just then, my phone rang. It was my childhood friend.
I picked up the call and he asked, 'Hey, when can we meet again. I feel horny down there'.
I replied "Nah, maybe next time" and cut off our conversation. Left him puzzled, still thinking that I like him. HAHAHAH.
He was just a piece of trash I kept by my side incase someone needed HERPES.
Yes, you heard it right. He is the one who has the herpes.
That was why from the start, I was very cautious to use gloves whenever I deal with these pervs especially if you encounter someone who has herpes.
Keeping him by my side feels really handy lest I meet more pervs in future. To me, he is just a walking bottle of Herpes spray.

Not only did I accomplish infecting old fart with herpes, I also did his face in....
"What better ways to deal with pervs?", I thought. :D:D:D

[sbwow]

A Policeman's Conviction

Harder.!
Harder..!
Harder...!
The call girl exclaimed.

"I am doing everything I can for the past 10 mins and still this fucking bitch is still yelling harder... Fuck My Life...", my mind screamed.
Fine girl... You want to play rough huh... Ok...
I held up the baton which was lying by my side and started spanking this little whore's ass.
No matter how many times I hit, she just kept replying back 'Harder!'
Now you really got me pissed, I spanked her till every inch of her ass became swollen red...

After 5 mins have passed, the same little shit is still saying the exact same words...
I couldn't help it and shouted back 'ENOUGH!', really gotten me real pissed off this time.
I meant for god's sake, there are so many dirty words you can use but repeatedly saying 'Harder' is a real demeaning word... It felt like I wasn't doing enough...

I shoved her over, wanted to vent all my anger on her.
To my horror..., her eyes were wide-open..., her lips were sealed... It doesn't look like she was breathing... There was no reflex when I shoved her...
The only thing that kept repeating 'Harder' was the phone recorder beside her...
No breathing, No pulse, No Nothing...
She is DEAD!!!

At this moment, loud thuds came from the door...

[sbwow]

A Policeman's Conviction - Part 2

At this moment, loud thuds came from the door...

"I don't know how she is DEAD!", these words swirled through my mind...

Second set of knocks came through the door again to which I replied "Coming!". In a rushed manner, I forcefully pulled the blanket covering the dead body, switched off the phone that kept repeating "Harder", wore back my clothes, and adjusted myself not to portray as panicky. Dimming the lights came as second nature...

I crept opened the door slowly, there stood infront of me was a guy with large tall build, fully dressed in black suit, with vibes of an inspector. "Shit!" was the first word that came to mind...

Quite abruptly, he blurted out "Hi, anyone need coffee?"
I was stunned beyond what to say as my jaw dropped, stared at him for a good 5 seconds...
All of a sudden, his friend came over and spoke hastily, "Sorry bro, my friend is a little crazy" hinting the crazy" American sign language.
"I almost shit my pants, thought he was some inspector!", as I comforted myself.
His friend tugged him away and the looney shrieked "Let me know when you need some!"
As soon as they left, I closed the door quickly.

Come to think of it, I really do need a cup of coffee. Tonight will be a long... night...
But definetely not getting it from that Creep...

I took out my FBI badge and cried... What should I do...
I just fucked a dead corpse raw, no way will I get away with this. Pretty sure there's some precum in that pussy.
No washing or cleaning will work on the corpse, there is just too much evidence laying everywhere...
My mind was in a bizarre state as I organized the best possible solution...

Just then, I was Awestruck.
"15 years with the FBI should not have been in vain.", I reminded myself with a sinister smirk.
I carefully recited and filtered through all the past crime investigations. Guided questions arosed such as "What was left as a mystery? What mistakes were done by the criminals? What genius criminals did that should be improved and better..."

Bit by bit, I pieced together the brilliant master plan that would horrify anyone trying to resolve it.
"How can I lose to a single criminal?", I asserted with a hysterical laugh.