What if my GF is doing Fl?

[Zoick]

Hi Bros,

I started with her since Jun. She is 25 yos M'sian Malay. She is working in my office canteen. After few months we together. Her behaviour seems suspicious to me. I might be too sensitive, but without fire, there won't be smoke, isn't it?

She has sugar daddy in the past, when she as young in Sec school. She told me, she just blow for him and that all. (Ok, she told me, and she might not telling me the full story.) In this few months, sometime she will MIA for hrs and she telling me she is sleeping. She has day time job, from 7am-7pm. But some time i called her in 8/10pm, she said she sleeping because too tired. Some time 12am she said she sleeping, or even some time she switch off her phone. My point is, her timing is so irregular, till sometime i also dun know what she is doing.

Some time even weekend, i ask her out, she told me she is too tired to come out. And once, she even flew to Jakarta, without telling me. After i found out, she say going shopping with friends.

Since the day we together, she has so many sms even in wee hour. Even when we on the phone, most of the time interrupted by her incoming call.

Like some other bros, I did KC~ing with working lady in the past. And i have no problem handling the relationship issue. After all, mentally i have well prepared. But this time round, she is my GF, but raise my suspicious if she is FL~ing.

I need to find out the truth, else it won't ease my mind and definitely will affect our relationship. What should i do? Anyone have the experience to share? Please show me the light, i am lost.

[jovince]

hi bro.

She told you that she has a sugar daddy in the past, why would she tell you that unless she's hinting something to you or she's being honest to you? Because of her past that she has got a sugar daddy, you suspect that she's doing FL? I think you should brace up and ask her the truth instead of playing the guessing game, it would affect your work and personal life.

If she's bent on hiding the truth, i guess there's nothing you can do, unless you wanna intrude into her privacy(no?). Either you can end the r/s to look forward to a better girl (short pain better than long pain) or simply trust her and believe everything she says. It all depends on how well you can take it bro. Sorry if my advice isn't that good enough.

[obnoxious]

Wah lau, yopu can either follow her one night and see lor, or if you hv $, hire PI lor .... check it once and for all ... I know how uncomfortable to be having this suspicions.

[agent]

find one day ask her out and have a good trash out talk with her.
if she is still not able to be honest with you, then there is no point in continuing this relationship as it is very apparent you are already not happy in this relationship and that the trust was already quite shaken. Things can and will get worst in the near future should she remains as the way she is now.

and by having a sugar daddy before (my own thinking,might not be true), she can jolly well still be in contact with her sugar daddy as long as her sugar daddy is still giving her attractive money.

bro, why torture urself over one wavering tree when you can find a better and stronger tree in this vast forest..

[marine boy]

Bro zoick, I think you just follow one day / night lor, see what she is up to, else hire a PI if you got money .... or u can ask her, maybe she keep denying then say u dont trust her, so many not so nice ...

[covenn]

get a fren to call her n test water??

[marine boy]

Wow bro, test whether she accept business .... :eek: ... but good idea

[jovince]

bro covenn, that's a good idea

[WRX_STI]

mayb not doing fl bro? mayb sometin else like still in contact with her sugar daddy? muz ask her bro. we as guys natural to feel defensive but everytim there is asumption we tink negative - not healthy. take care good luck:)

[SDMM]

Seriuosly it is not healthy for a relationship if there exist doubts
Maybe you should cut youir losses and look for a better GF
Just an advice

[TheGreatOne]

this kinda thing happen all around us.

and i dun mean the suspected FL activities, ie gf oc cheating on us etc..

like some bro said, you want the truth, but can you handle the truth?

close eyes act blur suah suah anyway you also playing around. but well again, we as man (refered to as MCP by common ladies) tend to have sub standard, we can they cant.

now its just discussion so talk is cheap, when thing happened to you, then only yourself will know what you gonna do, thrash things out or thrash that guy's face inside out.

[et911]

It can also be she is two timing you with another guy. She may not be FL'ing, but may be playing with your heart..

BUT.. if order not to let your mind run wild, have a good chat with her.. ask her to tell you the truth, after learning the truth, den you decide what to do.

Good luck bro.

[bangbangben]

Ways to find the truth??
1) spend the night over and see those smses at the wee hours, get the number and ask a female fren to call say looking for sugar daddy.

2) spy on her, follow her and see what she does and who she meets when its her off day and she doesn't wanna meet u.

3) get a PI


Other Options???
1) ditch her since u got doubts

2) Ask her straight if she is lime-lighting or meeting the sugar daddy


Honestly... I am the lazy kind and i prefer to just ask her straight... if she says No and u still insist deep inside u that she is... Then just jolly well end it and move on bro... lotsa trees outside waiting for u thou... no need worry abt one.

[Zoick]

Thanks for all the advices. Yes, i do agree, she might either have a Sugar Daddy or doing Fl~ing. But if she is having Sugar Daddy, i have no way to find it out, unless, like other bro said, hiring PI or tailing her myself.

As what bro say, ask some one to call her and test if she is doing Fl~ing. This method also come into my mind. But ... who should i trust to do it for me? How about i post the last 4 digit of her HP for bros to identify if they come across this number in their FL experience?

Any bros struck with such situation? How you guys handle? Is easier if she is two timer, i believe many who know how to handle. I have experienced this before.

[babycheong]

Ask her then.... dun assume, cos it's a dirty word. ASSUME = ASS U ME

The answer can be 'YES' or 'No', either you believe it OR dun believe it, make a decision then.

BC

[LeeTian]

so sad to hear that....bro, you better find out fast or later you in deep with her then jiatet liao.

I thinks many bros here will like to help you.

[Sergio]

did you know any of her friend to ask...

[Sergio]

did you know her friend to ask ...maybe can find out..just my thinking

[ziyi]

I think if treat the gril as lover nia, dont hv to bother lor, just enjoy the ride .. while it last

[Steadyman1]

Agreed with Bro megarapier.
*************************************

Love is always blind.

Look at the mirror and ask yourself some simple questions or some might say "Stupid" questions.

Does she love you?
Are you sure she love you?
Do you mind her past?
What if she still remind like her past or worse. Can you accept?
....

What make thing complex is when once can't thing simple.

All brothers opinion/experience are just helping you to think simple.

Think it Simple... You will have your answer.

[Idealist]

IMHO, best to clear the air to continue. If not forget it. Mistrust is not good for any relationship.

[Peter]

let's face it, if she insists to things behind you, it is very tiring for you to always keep track of it

[natsuki]

Cannot jus ask wads happening? Why must play this type of guessing game, very tiring... I once have a bf who found out abt my fl-ing, at first he say dun mind, in the end he ditched me... But he nvr thought about wad he use, he spent, he smoke, he drink... Those were all my money...

Well however i believe TS is a working adult so he can feed himself.. So if he really love his girl, maybe try asking about her problems then think for solutions to help her? Rather then here worrying for her...

My personal view...

Nice day,all.... :)

[Robbie_williams]

Bro, my solution to you is very simple, since she always get weird calls or sms in the wee hours or when you are out with her....find an opportunity to peek at her mobile phone. Sometimes, peeking is hard, so no choice, just "steal" it and take it as stolen so that u will have more time to go through all her contents in her hp....

I'm speaking from experience....:cool:

[ael123]

Jealousy would always lead to suspicion, but these would normally be triggered by some internal senses that something has gone wrong.
As the previous bro has mentioned, checked her hp for the contacts.
Try to clear up the air with her as soon as possible, it's not good to let this sort of suspicion to drag on for so long, would hurt the relationship.
On the other hand, ditch her and move on if you think she's not worth it.

[regent]

Better clear up situation, if bro doing raw with her, makes the situation worse ..

[samtan69]

Cannot jus ask wads happening? Why must play this type of guessing game, very tiring... I once have a bf who found out abt my fl-ing, at first he say dun mind, in the end he ditched me... But he nvr thought about wad he use, he spent, he smoke, he drink... Those were all my money...



first of all, he is lying when he say he dun mind... which guy wouldn't mind his gf being bonked by strangers day in day out??!!! the only pple who dun mind are OKTs, living off their 'gf' 's earning!!!

secondly, if you want to continue to be a FL, pls dun have a bf. if you want to have a bf, pls quit as a FL.

[mwmf]

GF doing FL is no small matter especially if behind your back, recommend immediate action, directly ask her .... why etc , no point dragging ..

[Eastpipper]

I once have a bf who found out abt my fl-ing, at first he say dun mind, in the end he ditched me... But he nvr thought about wad he use, he spent, he smoke, he drink... Those were all my money...


Wah, so good...do u want to be my sugar mummy?
:D

[gula]

Cannot jus ask wads happening? Why must play this type of guessing game, very tiring... I once have a bf who found out abt my fl-ing, at first he say dun mind, in the end he ditched me... But he nvr thought about wad he use, he spent, he smoke, he drink... Those were all my money...

Hope you learn your lesson, never keep a toyboy or paid man .... no matter how much they say they love you ... how can a man with any dignity have to depend on GF eevn for their ciggies .... :eek:

[natsuki]

first of all, he is lying when he say he dun mind... which guy wouldn't mind his gf being bonked by strangers day in day out??!!! the only pple who dun mind are OKTs, living off their 'gf' 's earning!!!

secondly, if you want to continue to be a FL, pls dun have a bf. if you want to have a bf, pls quit as a FL.

So when he tell me he dun mind, i tell him : 'if 1 day when we go out, got someone come tell u he bonk me b4, wad will u do?' So When he say nvm, i agar know he will go think about tat problem, cuz i raise up the question, i dun wanna carry on such relationship of hinding anymore. That's why mah... 2 yrs no bf le... More freedom (thou will be lonely, but i got frens mah..)... and more time of my own... Anyway, i dun think i will wanna anyone in my life again...

Wah, so good...do u want to be my sugar mummy?
:D

Dun wan lah... Later u cannot satisfy me.. Lol...

Hope you learn your lesson, never keep a toyboy or paid man .... no matter how much they say they love you ... how can a man with any dignity have to depend on GF eevn for their ciggies .... :eek:

Yup... Must learn from mistake le, no matter how much i (or my girl frens) loved someone, will always tell them, dont get too into the relationship... Someone may seems nice at first, no one knows wad will happen down the road... And actually i dun consider him as a 'toy'... Maybe tat was my down period, he was just there to enter tat period of my life.... Maybe i must thank him for making me stronger n clearer about seeing guys...

[Robbie_williams]

Yup... Must learn from mistake le, no matter how much i (or my girl frens) loved someone, will always tell them, dont get too into the relationship... Someone may seems nice at first, no one knows wad will happen down the road... And actually i dun consider him as a 'toy'... Maybe tat was my down period, he was just there to enter tat period of my life.... Maybe i must thank him for making me stronger n clearer about seeing guys...



You sound like a broken hearted gal....similar...I always advise my guy friends not to take love so seriously...:cool:

[glamourist]

Learn to accept the fact about her & live with it.
Let her go if you couldn't face the fact about her.
Otherwise, just enjoy the good bonking while it lasted.

[mwmf]

Like most bro say, if go behind your back do FL, if it is true. Forget it and move on, dont waste your youth

[Zoick]

First of all, thanks to all the replies. I really appreciated it. Sometime, not all the thing we can share with friends, but only can share with "virtual friend" like all of you. I really don't know how to tell my friends about my case.

Try to answer some questions :

1) I don't know any of her friend. We never come out or meet her friends.
2) Impossible to steal her HP. She is renting a house at desker area. Is not a "good place" to stay, but she said is convenience for her to go to work. (Her working place is walking distance). Her house rule is no guest allowed. So i have no chance to go to her room to see if any suspicious thing. She showed me once her pic in HP and i ask to browse further, she refused. And she will hold her HP whenever and where ever she is. Unless i rob her (Ok, i try to be funny a bit, i am too stress over this issue).
3) Agreed with bro, the relationship will soon turn sour when trust is not there and i am heading that way. Sad but can't be help. Ditching her away seems is the solution, but saying is easy, action is difficult. Especially some one with true love and feeling.


Cannot jus ask wads happening? Why must play this type of guessing game, very tiring... I once have a bf who found out abt my fl-ing, at first he say dun mind, in the end he ditched me... But he nvr thought about wad he use, he spent, he smoke, he drink... Those were all my money...

Well however i believe TS is a working adult so he can feed himself.. So if he really love his girl, maybe try asking about her problems then think for solutions to help her? Rather then here worrying for her...

My personal view...

Nice day,all.... :)

Thanks for sharing your experience. May i ask, how did he find out your secret? To be honest, i think he is lying saying he dun mind about your job if he truely love you. Like my case, I did KC~ing with CMM before, but that purely for sextification and i have no problem ending the relationship when she become demanding.

And yes, i am working adult and i never ask single cents from her. And to be honest, i won't forgive her if she is really doing FL~ing and will ditch her straight away if i found out. I don't mind about her past, but i cannot tolerate if she lying to me. I feel betrayed. This is the point.

Guessing game is tiring, very tiring. I tried to talk to her before but she just said i am too sensitive. Like some other bro suggested, i am now cooling off the relationship. After all, if she is innocent, i still cannot tolerate her abnormal life style. Festive season is coming, Johnny Walker is walking with me. Sad, but this is life. (Christmas day she is away back to M'sia :o)

[baise]

Bro the way you hv describe, I think no 2 ways about it lah ... so many secrets and restrictions ... just walk away lor, I know it is easier said than done, but you rather now then later .. suffer more in the process, festive season is here ... maybe you can arrange meet some samsters and paint the town red or something like that ....

[agent]

So when he tell me he dun mind, i tell him : 'if 1 day when we go out, got someone come tell u he bonk me b4, wad will u do?'


this is exactly the reason why I tried not to find girls who have bf before to be my gf(especially if the girl bf was one of my friends or someone i knew) As, the basic respect is, you dun go and tell a girl bf that you bonked his girl before... if that kind of guy can even bonk the girl in the first place... I will be in total disbelief...

[mjking]

Guys and gals both are alike in this respect. Regardless of what we or they professes, past relationship is always best forgotten, I would rather they dont tell me the full story and I remain in the dark. Ignorance is bliss. Whatever it is, past gals if you hv a sexual relationship with them, never admit it to GF or OC or the gal you are with... definitely your current gal will not feel shiok about it. Am sure you will also not feel shiok about her past men ...

[jovince]

bro zoick,

maybe from now on, go out with more female friends, enjoy yourself with them. cant be sure if it works for you, but definately eases off alot of tension.

[natsuki]

You sound like a broken hearted gal....similar...I always advise my guy friends not to take love so seriously...:cool:

Yup, totally broke n tore, please take me to the hospital and try to fix it back... Think it's already dented... and scattered...


Thanks for sharing your experience. May i ask, how did he find out your secret? To be honest, i think he is lying saying he dun mind about your job if he truely love you. Like my case, I did KC~ing with CMM before, but that purely for sextification and i have no problem ending the relationship when she become demanding.

And yes, i am working adult and i never ask single cents from her. And to be honest, i won't forgive her if she is really doing FL~ing and will ditch her straight away if i found out. I don't mind about her past, but i cannot tolerate if she lying to me. I feel betrayed. This is the point.

Guessing game is tiring, very tiring. I tried to talk to her before but she just said i am too sensitive. Like some other bro suggested, i am now cooling off the relationship. After all, if she is innocent, i still cannot tolerate her abnormal life style. Festive season is coming, Johnny Walker is walking with me. Sad, but this is life. (Christmas day she is away back to M'sia :o)

Welcome. :) He found out cuz i'm absent minded... Quite stupid of me actually, i deleted my inbox msg, but i forgotten of my outbox... :X Then he was playing the games in my hp... den took it away from me for awhile... I dint know, till he went back home and msn me using a disclose acct i never knew of, asking me of the charges and so on, there i was like... : 'how come u talk machiam someone i know'... I dint reply to the msn (suspecting it's my ex bf), den he called me hp questioning n yelling at me... However, for that moment i felt that it's time to let him know those money he used, were actually from my fl-ing... I gave up my day job for him (another long story), in exchange he was just making use of me and thought that i was 'rich'... Rich will be the last word on earth to be use on me, during that period of time (even now oso)... I was thinking back, and thought... Maybe it's not 'love'... Girls at the age of 20, will know wad is 'Love' meh? It might just be some kiddo 'puppy love' or rather, crush...

Telling him wad he might face in the furture is much more better, rather den holding on this type of relationship, since he already knew the dark side, no point carry on. I wasn't his only gf at that time too, he had another gf who stay somewhere near me... I was living in fear when i was with him, cuz i'll never know whether this girl will come after me... After we broke of, this girl can send me sms calling me a bitch and say i got dumped... But somehow i felt that, being dump or not is not the thing, the thing is i have seen enough of his tales (cuz of the money part, and the another gf thinggy), I carry on my life without worrying about being discovered by my bf, anymore... I lead my own life... I walk in my own world... My world, my pace, my life...

When i tell him : "if 1 day when we go out, got someone come tell u he bonk me b4, wad will u do?' " maybe i was thinking of a way to get out of this relationship... maybe i was helping him to think wad might be happening... Ending it by knowing the ugly side might not be pleasing to me during that time. To think of it, i never regreted it. Infact after breaking up with him, i think i've grown stronger and not to fallen so easily again. Thou i did have another relationship after him, a nice guy who was my ex customer... Sweet n cute but never my type... After i really developed a liking for him, he told me that we were moving too fast and his mum dun really like me, so fine... Wad for have a bf... Frens are the most important ones for me now...

Keeping everything to myself is really very fustrating, cuz no one understands how much stress and everything u r suffering... Too many secrets between 2, brings on more boundaries... To cross over the obstacles, both need to be truthful, but when it comes to been truthful, no one could stand it... Human nature.

this is exactly the reason why I tried not to find girls who have bf before to be my gf(especially if the girl bf was one of my friends or someone i knew) As, the basic respect is, you dun go and tell a girl bf that you bonked his girl before... if that kind of guy can even bonk the girl in the first place... I will be in total disbelief...

U might not believe this.... I used to know a girl, quite sweet looking andwell mannered girl... Her ex bf pmed her present bf in friendster saying: 'U must be enjoying. She's wild and hot on the bed. Lucky you!'
=.='''

**pls pardon my broken english... :o**

[cbjuiceyumseng]

:(

Sigh, all i can say is do the right thing because it is right.

Or another way of putting it, is avoiding all the shit that comes with such a complicated relationship.

It is totally no meaning.

[D.o.P]

First of all she is not your wife. She has her so call freedom too. It is better don't put 100% love and hope in it. You will hurt the most in the end. Just treat her like normal gf, go out with her, have dinner with her or even sex with her just like normal couple. What she wants to do, let her be, don't keep thinking about it. Don't think too hard, be easy. You will be free of worries.

[agent]

U might not believe this.... I used to know a girl, quite sweet looking andwell mannered girl... Her ex bf pmed her present bf in friendster saying: 'U must be enjoying. She's wild and hot on the bed. Lucky you!'
=.='''

**pls pardon my broken english... :o**

actually i am able to believe this for one simple fact... most girls including good girls, first few bfs are usually the bad guys... why because of the bad guys usually took the first approach with girls when they were still young and one common phrase that has been overly used. nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai...
and the phrase is unbelievably true...

[carmeo88]

It still take 2 hands to clap to make things happen:)

[celia]

Haha, so the first ones are all the cherry poppers, looking to add another notch to their trophy .. :)

Anyway, usually young so, almost guaranteed failure ... difficult to say bf and gf since school days and get married later on liao ..

[Orgasmic]

Recently found out that one FL i had sex with a few years ago got married. When i screwed her she is not that chio but now, damn sexy.. FLs cant be trusted lah.

In order not to sound tua-kang, the evidences are as follows.

http://img138.imageshack.us/my.php?image=64920686yl7.jpg

http://img138.imageshack.us/my.php?image=64920686yl7.jpg

[lsly]

Wow bro Orgasmic, haha, you got go congratulate the groom boh ... maybe give her some pointers how to satisfy the wife :D

[babycheong]

Recently found out that one FL i had sex with a few years ago got married. When i screwed her she is not that chio but now, damn sexy.. FLs cant be trusted lah.

In order not to sound tua-kang, the evidences are as follows.

http://img138.imageshack.us/my.php?image=64920686yl7.jpg

http://img138.imageshack.us/my.php?image=64920686yl7.jpg

Has it ever cross your mind that the hubby might be a samster?
By posting link to her picture might kill a marriage because u dun wanna be seen as tua-kang?

Please..... think again!!!

BC

[Orgasmic]

nothing wrong with telling the truth actually. good man dont lie. FL is FL .. we have good FL and bad FL. there are reasons why some people hate bad FLs.

[babycheong]

nothing wrong with telling the truth actually. good man dont lie. FL is FL .. we have good FL and bad FL. there are reasons why some people hate bad FLs.

Correct, no one is stopping you from telling the truth.
I am juz saying that posting her picture might not be a good thing since she got married(and assuming that she dun FL anymore). Whether or not the hubby knows, I am sure she doesn't wants to be reminded of her past.
So treat it as 'a good deed a day', remove the link ..... it doesn't hurt u ........ but it will hurt them.

BC

[JediSkull]

I think its better he knows now than to regret later?~?~?~ :mad::(

[babycheong]

Who are we to tell him?
Are we in the position to tell him?

BC

[agent]

whether or not if the suggestions made by the bros here are being taken action by the suggestions intended bro, the basic reason why the bros even bothered to make comments and suggestions is quite simple... show some consideration and respect to someone who gave you a good time by not ruining her marriage for her. She can ruin it herself for all anyone cares, if she still do FL etc after she is married but that will be her own fault and business should her marriage failed.

imho

[Beetlejuice]

What goes around comes around. Best not to go overboard. Certain things are just not done.

[JediSkull]

hmmm.... interesting argument.... but wat if he doesn't know?~?~ and he might wanna know?~?~ perhaps ignorance is really bliss!~!~ :(

[agent]

whether he does not know and want to know is beside the point.

The point that the other bros are bringing across is, protect the identity and reputation of the girl in her husband eye by not doing any unnecessary action that may cause harm to her in any ways possible. Thats all.

[sarcasm]

I think pic like that should be left out. Do onto others what you want others to do to you. If this type of thing is accepted, can you imagine girls posting our picture here. Or husband of girl do it in retaliation, haiz

[babycheong]

hmmm.... interesting argument.... but wat if he doesn't know?~?~
It's not really an argument..... juz pointing out that certain thing is better be left undone.
If he doesn't know.... They might live happily ever after? At least he won't be always guessing if every guys that talked to her wife was customer or not.

and he might wanna know?~?~
Because he suspected something after marriage or before? IMHO, it should be coming from the 'wife' instead of others.

perhaps ignorance is really bliss!~!~ :(
Yes, at times.... ignorance is really bliss!!

BC

[Curious]

nothing wrong with telling the truth actually. good man dont lie. FL is FL .. we have good FL and bad FL. there are reasons why some people hate bad FLs.

I agree with BabyCheong and Agent that we should protect the identity of the FLs here too. Take the scenario below for instance from the perspective of the FL on brother Orgasmic:-

"Nothing wrong in teling the truth, good FLs dont lie. Customer is Customer....we have good customer and bad customer...there are reasons why some FLs hated bad customers too" ---> so does that mean that the FL can also post good/bad customers pictures here in order not to be tua kang? Hmmmm...chaotic

[Xgenre]

Recently found out that one FL i had sex with a few years ago got married. When i screwed her she is not that chio but now, damn sexy.. FLs cant be trusted lah.

So she can't be trusted because she is sexier now? What do you mean?

Why put her photo here? This is extremely cruel. Besides annoucing to the world you paid her for sex, what else will you acheive? An ego boost? You are a senior samster. To do such brainless things is shocking for a senior samster.

[Eunuch]

Anyway back to the topic, threadstarter ... after all said and done, dump her ... :)