Having children in your life

[kennyr]

Am pleasantly surprised by the number of wise man in sbf hence started this chat. Hence started this thread to ask for some opinions.

Am married for about 6 years without any children.

Does having a children change your...

1) frequency to paid sex(did it stop or reduce?)

2) perspective of life change after having a kid?

3) If you will roll out time, will you have a kid or not?

[peeboy75]

1) heck no
2) it makes you more responsible and trains you to divert your love from your wife to your kids. When i say more responsible, it doesnt mean u dont chiong anymore, but u chiong less or save money from other things ( 4d, gambling, alcohol) to have more money for them
3) definitely.

[pearlnjewel]

1) frequency to paid sex(did it stop or reduce?)

2) perspective of life change after having a kid?

3) If you will roll out time, will you have a kid or not?

still drooling from looking at other girls. Maybe i should not marry.

Men likely will not change about chionging different girls all their lives. But having kids will still have but just don't want to be stuck to one woman. Maybe having kids not for me.

[kennyr]

1) heck no
2) it makes you more responsible and trains you to divert your love from your wife to your kids. When i say more responsible, it doesnt mean u dont chiong anymore, but u chiong less or save money from other things ( 4d, gambling, alcohol) to have more money for them
3) definitely.

thanks for your feedback

[MoJoe313]

For me,

1. No paid sex before and after. So no diff.

2. Yes, of course. I suddenly found a new purpose in life. Its the most fulfilling thing a man can do. You rush home after work to see your baby. You find joy in seeing your baby smile. You don't mind taking crap at work because you do it to provide for your baby. You can stare at your baby for hours and you wonder why. And when threatening each other with a divorce, you want the kids not the money.

3. If I can roll back time I should have started earlier so that i can have more kids. I started late at 34. I have more than 2 but short of my target of 5 kids. Ce la vie

[sammyboyfor]

Never had any kids and absolutely no regrets. They serve no purpose whatsoever and are nothing but liabilities.

Because I remained childless I saved a shit load of money too and managed to retire a lot earlier.

[kennyr]

Never had any kids and absolutely no regrets. They serve no purpose whatsoever and are nothing but liabilities.

Because I remained childless I saved a shit load of money too and managed to retire a lot earlier.

Agreed to certain extent, but wonders if marriage last if there are no children. After some years into marriage, it's more of a commitment.

[peeboy75]

Agreed to certain extent, but wonders if marriage last if there are no children. After some years into marriage, it's more of a commitment.

Then that is an alarm bell already...and i advice you that having children wont solve things between u and your wife...in fact it adds to the problem..

[sammyboyfor]

Agreed to certain extent, but wonders if marriage last if there are no children. After some years into marriage, it's more of a commitment.

As long as husband and wife are best friends and not just lovers it can last a lifetime.

[poi123]

Different ppl different perspective views. Ppl who loves kids will have, ppl who dont like will not have. I think sharing the joy of each perspective view will be wonderful, dont have to pour cold water on each other.. Everyone here were kids of someone too.

[sammyboyfor]

Different ppl different perspective views. Ppl who loves kids will have, ppl who dont like will not have. I think sharing the joy of each perspective view will be wonderful, dont have to pour cold water on each other.. Everyone here were kids of someone too.

Kids are fine the problem is that they grow up to become teenagers and just when they are about to come right they move on with their lives.

[larue]

Different ppl different perspective views. Ppl who loves kids will have, ppl who dont like will not have. I think sharing the joy of each perspective view will be wonderful, dont have to pour cold water on each other.. Everyone here were kids of someone too.

If you believe that different people have different views, then you understand that someone pouring cold water on the idea of having kids is a different view which you should not be attempting to shut down.

People need to hear different views in order to make an informed decision. Too many people make decisions about having kids without being informed which is why there are so many fucked up people in the world. Because in this modern society, the fitness of many to be parents is worth questioning.

I wager more people who have chosen not to have kids have put far more thought into arriving at that decision than people who have children.

[peksync]

Which is why I think one needs to have a clear stand on this, either yes or no, because you'll have to live with the consequences. Whatever decision can only be the one that makes sense for you, and your other half.

Quite too often people claim to be neutral on this, which to me is BS since your life would be changed totally once you have a child.

[kennyr]

Thanks for all opinions and views. I guess there'll always be diversity in this topic and everyone needs to choose their own path.

There will always be positive/negative stories in each path that is taken.

[sammyboyfor]

Thanks for all opinions and views. I guess there'll always be diversity in this topic and everyone needs to choose their own path.

There will always be positive/negative stories in each path that is taken.

When it comes to finances I can guarantee you 100% that you'll be better off without children... the exception being if you produce a kid that goes on to become a multi millionaire and you exercise the stock options you were gifted.

[EtherC]

From a scientific point of view , point 2 changes can largely be attributed to brain chemistry changes and testosterone level dipping. Yes not only mothers are affected. These are Evolutionary adaptations to help propagate the species. Many of us are very much prisoners of our own biology.

Also like what Sadhguru says, children are 20year projects. In Sg , maybe 25 years is more likely. And marriage is by far the most stable social construct we have come up with to sustain these 20+ year projects.

[fallen11]

When it comes to finances I can guarantee you 100% that you'll be better off without children... the exception being if you produce a kid that goes on to become a multi millionaire and you exercise the stock options you were gifted.

yes
having kids is never a financial investment
it wont give you profit one. can say almost certain its a loss
unless your kids grow up to be hollywood superstar or world class soccer player and you are their sole agent.

[fallen11]

Agreed to certain extent, but wonders if marriage last if there are no children. After some years into marriage, it's more of a commitment.

have friends with no children. happily married for more than a decade.
Its both theirs and their spouses' choice not to have any kids.
got 1 couple even married to his 1st gf, no kids but happy. Both the man and wife are attractive in looks and behaviour. they bascially do almost everything togther. Watching men-liked drama series like Game of Thrones together. Learning courses about Artificial Intelligence together as both of them actually quite nerdy. Played video games together all the time.
Yup, best friends & couple. For such case, can imagine how having a kid will destroy such a happy lifestyle.

[minnylo]

Am pleasantly surprised by the number of wise man in sbf hence started this chat. Hence started this thread to ask for some opinions.

Am married for about 6 years without any children.

Does having a children change your...

1) frequency to paid sex(did it stop or reduce?)

2) perspective of life change after having a kid?

3) If you will roll out time, will you have a kid or not?

will be more focus on children than sex, will think if children b4 do anything

[kennyr]

have friends with no children. happily married for more than a decade.
Its both theirs and their spouses' choice not to have any kids.
got 1 couple even married to his 1st gf, no kids but happy. Both the man and wife are attractive in looks and behaviour. they bascially do almost everything togther. Watching men-liked drama series like Game of Thrones together. Learning courses about Artificial Intelligence together as both of them actually quite nerdy. Played video games together all the time.
Yup, best friends & couple. For such case, can imagine how having a kid will destroy such a happy lifestyle.

thanks for your thoughts

[lovethaibabes]

3) If you will roll out time, will you have a kid or not?

If I can turn back time, I will not marry and will not have kids.

I will chase my hobbies, chase self-improvement and self-actualization.

I will chase financial independence.

[Johndick]

Am pleasantly surprised by the number of wise man in sbf hence started this chat. Hence started this thread to ask for some opinions.

Am married for about 6 years without any children.

Does having a children change your...

1) frequency to paid sex(did it stop or reduce?)

2) perspective of life change after having a kid?

3) If you will roll out time, will you have a kid or not?

My 2 cents of opinion. People who have kids will never know the freedom of those without, on the flipside people whom have no kids can never understand the joy of parenthood.

If you and partner have long decided the childless route, stick to it and don't be swayed by external influence. Every path have its pros and cons. End the day is what you want in your life that matters, don't be a follower and don't take opinions on face value. Walk your own path.

We bring a new life to this world not as an investment to secure our retirement, if that is the mindset, hell no, please don't. Become a parent because you want to provide and nurture, to experience the pain and joy of seeing an infant grow into an adult. If the thought of that only strike fear in you and make you worry about the $$$ and freedom that you could have saved and enjoy for yourself, then you are probably better off not become a parent. Else resentment will only snowball when you realise is so costly to provide and you start to regret. Totally unhealthy.

[lovethaibabes]

I agree with JohnDick

I think our perceptions changes with our personal situation

If we do not have children we notice and envy those who have children.

If we have children we notice and envy those who do not.

One thing for sure, having a child is no child's play, financially and psychologically speaking.

I only know that now I have children it is my responsibility as a MAN to take care of them till adulthood.

Despite my feelings, despite having to give up certain things, certain ambitions in my life, I will fulfill my responsibility as a father, as a MAN

It is a life-long commitment.