Probably a cheating?

[seekerJ]

Hi everyone..
First time starting a thread and pardon me if I have any mistake.

I found out my gf been out with a guy alone and he send her from work to Sentosa beach for dinner and send her back home.
She totally lie to me that she having OT but actually with someone else.
I'm able to caught her when she left the guy car at her place. I was waiting for her there and there's no one else in the car but the guy. There's a good 3 minutes she was in there while the car is stationary.

I confronted her and she mention he's just a close friend and she don't want me to know she out with him becoz she do not want me to think other wise. Their meet up is seeking his advice about work and relationship problems.

I found out from her this is not the first time they have met and the guy is married and his wife may not know about it. I never hear of this guy during our rs for the last 5 years.

Many things running on my mind that should I buy her explaination because never in my mind she will do this.

Guys from above situation as a 3rd party what do you think?
All above are facts that i confirm and no added emotion on it.

Thank you all for reading and maybe advice or comment that follow..

[maxsee]

Leave her if she is really cheating on u....dun waste ur time for revenge or asking for reconcilation whatever....u deserves better....:D

[fictionman]

She's cheating on you

[sammyboyfor]

Even if she did not have sex with the guy her heart is not with you anymore. We've all been through this at some point in our lives.

Time to move on. Easy to say but of course hard to do. It's all about will power.

The first time it happened to me I tried to reconnect but after a while I knew the relationship was over and I'd wasted months in the process.

Once this sort of thing happens the trust is gone and every time she tells you she's busy you won't believe her anymore.

Make a clean break and start over with someone else. It will save you the anguish of continuing the relationship when it has already been damaged beyond repair.

[seekerJ]

Thanks @Maxsee for your advice as I'm really 80% sure she cheating on me but i just really can't accept it as my purest & righteous gf (in my mind) will do such things. I know I deserve better as herself put in my shoes, she will not take it at all as she also been cheated b4. That's y I nv tot she will do it & know feeling of been cheated.

Haha thanks @Fictionman nothing as more clear cut

I'm honor our Sam bro will see my thread and actually share your exp and advice to me. Really give me a very insight what I can expect later as I feel the same as you. I agree having sex or not, just a simple kiss or holding hand is already enough. Her heart really not 100% on me. Btw I just propose to her last dec and still this can happen. And unfortunately or fortunately caught red handed by me.

Just one more question:
me n my gf don have sex frequently due to her health issue which I understand. I do go Geylang n release my urgh but feel guilty about it. In a way I oso lie n cheat on her physically. Maybe I'm no much better. But I told myself no more after my proposal and just PCC. Actually she oso don like I PCC on porn, it's like mentally I fucking the girl (roll eyes).
It's like diff kind of cheating as mentally and physically.
What's your guys view? I'm open to all honest view and criticism.
If I told her my truth will she forgive me and still love me as it is?

Really thanks all of your concerns. Appreciate it.

I don know there will be people will view Matter at Hearts haha.

[sammyboyfor]

If I told her my truth will she forgive me and still love me as it is?



NEVER... EVER tell your loved one that you visit prostitutes.... not this one, not future ones.... not the one you marry... NONE!

It will cause the end of 99.9% of all relationships. Even if you've been in a perfect marriage for years and you were never unfaithful during the relationship revealing your past activities with a prostitute could cause major upheaval.

Women will never understand or accept that their man visited whores for sexual gratification even if it occurred before the two of you met.

[sex crusader]

天崖何处无芳草，何必为了一根草！:d

[seekerJ]

Thanks Sam bro.. you have answer my concern..

[randyrockhard]

Always keep in mind that women are like monkeys. They would only let go of the branch they're holding onto, after they managed to grab to a new branch.

A woman is also very capable of saying things that they think you want to hear.

However, action is always louder than words. If her actions are contradictory to her words, then you know what the actual truth is.

I called out on my ex-gf lies once, when I asked her if she was happy with me. She dared to say "I wouldn't remain with you unless I'm happy". And I said to her "You said you are happy, but I don't see your happy face when you're with me. Where is your so-called happiness of being with me? Because I certainly don't feel it"

My words seemed to have hit her enough to shame her into breaking up with me. :p

[seekerJ]

@randyrockhard thanks bro for your sharing and I do agree with you. Even though I think she's different with any other girls I have seen. But woman still is woman that wat they say and what they do are diff. They need attention and no attention from you, she will seek other source of attention or accept attention that other guys giving her.
She really capable saying things like still love you and miss you but still y meet a guy behind my back. Btw she nv say she love me or miss me for the last good 3 months. After I found out the affair, she started say things like that. Afraid of losing me or saving herself from the mess she created?

[Kuan Aik Hong]

Dont waste your time on her....move on.

[Mountain]

Bro, she's certainly feeling guilty in a sense she might be having an affair with the guy behind your back. Trust your instinct, only you can judge whether she is cheating behind you or a misunderstanding. Talk to her but to be honest, I feel that she is scare of losing you as it may seem. Well, of course for the intimacy most probably she would deny any facts with the guy, a smart woman wouldn't want his man to know anything more than that. Probably her lust and attention from other guys. You gotta work on it bro.

[abcbear]

Never believe what a women says, they have a special ability to avoid guilt feelings and inability to take responsibility....in the end, even if you have busted her for cheating on you....the fault in their mind will always be on you. They simply have a strong sense of denial, coupled with the married guy sweet talking and and poisoning her...girls like her definitely won't stand a chance on the temptation...if not, she won't even agreed to go out alone with the guy to sentosa for dinner in the first place...trust me on this bro

walk away and find a better one...you are lucky before married, I have married my ex-wife for 5 years...and work like a dog in SG to fulfill all her materialistic needs...after a divorce, it really opened my eyes on what kind of women that can be settled down with...some are just for fucking, keep it that way

[nutman38]

NEVER... EVER tell your loved one that you visit prostitutes.... not this one, not future ones.... not the one you marry... NONE!

It will cause the end of 99.9% of all relationships. Even if you've been in a perfect marriage for years and you were never unfaithful during the relationship revealing your past activities with a prostitute could cause major upheaval.

Women will never understand or accept that their man visited whores for sexual gratification even if it occurred before the two of you met.


Once, a prostitute ( a regular who I like very much - Visited her more than 20 times) asked me if I ever go visit other prostitute.
And I stupidly reply Yes.
My explanation was when she is not working. ( Usually period off 8 days! )
I thought she will understand as I do not want to lie to her.
After that, she kind of ignore me and delete me from her wechat!

What kind of logic is that? :confused:
She can have so many different men in 1 day but I cannot go find?
Her explanation was she is working, no choice!

So please listen to big boss and never ever tells your loved one that you visit prostitutes!!!!! NEVER!!!!

[Mountain]

Once, a prostitute ( a regular who I like very much - Visited her more than 20 times) asked me if I ever go visit other prostitute.
And I stupidly reply Yes.
My explanation was when she is not working. ( Usually period off 8 days! )
I thought she will understand as I do not want to lie to her.
After that, she kind of ignore me and delete me from her wechat!

What kind of logic is that? :confused:
She can have so many different men in 1 day but I cannot go find?
Her explanation was she is working, no choice!

So please listen to big boss and never ever tells your loved one that you visit prostitutes!!!!! NEVER!!!!

It is like digging your own coffin..

[merelyevil]

NEVER... EVER tell your loved one that you visit prostitutes.... not this one, not future ones.... not the one you marry... NONE!

It will cause the end of 99.9% of all relationships. Even if you've been in a perfect marriage for years and you were never unfaithful during the relationship revealing your past activities with a prostitute could cause major upheaval.

Women will never understand or accept that their man visited whores for sexual gratification even if it occurred before the two of you met.

QFT. Golden advice. If you do, it is gonna be FUBAR

[sta1100]

Hi everyone..
First time starting a thread and pardon me if I have any mistake.

I found out my gf been out with a guy alone and he send her from work to Sentosa beach for dinner and send her back home.
She totally lie to me that she having OT but actually with someone else.
I'm able to caught her when she left the guy car at her place. I was waiting for her there and there's no one else in the car but the guy. There's a good 3 minutes she was in there while the car is stationary.

I confronted her and she mention he's just a close friend and she don't want me to know she out with him becoz she do not want me to think other wise. Their meet up is seeking his advice about work and relationship problems.

I found out from her this is not the first time they have met and the guy is married and his wife may not know about it. I never hear of this guy during our rs for the last 5 years.

Many things running on my mind that should I buy her explaination because never in my mind she will do this.

Guys from above situation as a 3rd party what do you think?
All above are facts that i confirm and no added emotion on it.

Thank you all for reading and maybe advice or comment that follow..

dump her asap there other better than her,

[eroticbomb]

bro, just leave her and don't waste too much mental stress over this issue

[hil169]

Hows it bro?

[seekerJ]

Thanks everyone who are concern about my incident with my gf/fiancee.
To end this thread and I need to give a closure for all the bros here:

I request to give both time to cool down and think about our relationship after CNY and we will meet and talk about it.

During the meeting, I request a honest and truthful answer for all my questions. She agreed. She insist she is only close friend with that guy who is his Uni friend and so i request to look through their chat log to confirm. She refuse and mention she had deleted the msg. It's very obvious something is wrong for deleting your "Close friend" message. In the end she show me the their chat log, they have been messaging each other at least 3 months ago with intimate way like calling each other "baby", Jealous when with me?, "Sayang". I'm unable to look through all because she been fighting her phone back when I keep scroll to earlier chat.

In the chat, the guy mention not to reply his wife and not continue to message each other. Actually the guy's wife found out the affair when she check his phone. I pretty devastated finding out all these, all the lies and betrayal she done to me as I 100% trust her.

I have given her all the chances to make herself clear and be honest but again and again she been defending and deny her affair with him. After many questioning, she LL admit the affair and apologise her mistakes. She been lying to me last 3 months and seeing him. I found it unusual when she last min can't meet up and choose to meet her "friend". No reply from her after her work till 9 plus 10 plus that she just say reach home. I roughly guess they have met at least 10 times for the pass 3 months behind my back. It's this guy been trying to hit on her and offer her rides home. Within days or weeks of him meeting her, they have hold hands and kiss. She in the end admit that she kissed him in the car when I caught her that day.

Btw all these happen after I had propose to her last Dec and the guy's wife found out about them b4 I caught them. She has a chance to end this affair as I have already propose and that guy's wife found out about it but she still accept to meet him and still doing intimate things.

I feel that she been playing me all this time and I really cant continue this relationship. But I still love her and I wish to give her a last chance and forgive her. There's condition to continue the relationship, she have to be fully open and honest to me and she have to put in the effort to gain my trust back. She agreed. Then, I demand the first thing she have to do is to show me their full chat log because I want to know all the things they had done behind me if not I cant pass this hurdle.

She refused to show me because she don't want me to get hurt but this is the punch I have to take in order to continue on. She keep refusing and feel that it's her privacy right. We been tug of war on this for quite some time and if she don do it, we will just break up for good.

She still insist there's other way than doing this. But to me this is the only way. Till the end, I give up arguing and ask for break up. She cant accept it and still negotiating with me. It's definitely there are more things that they do/say that I cannot know.

I had enough and demand to break up and knowing this is it, she finally give me the chat but I decline it and just break up. It's too late already.
There's no point for me to continue this relationship as she's very egoist person that always want to be the winner. She say she still love me but I feel her ego is bigger than the love for me. We just walk away from each other.

After a few days, I choose to forgive her and decide to meet her again but she say there's nothing much to say and it's her mistake, we shouldn't meet again. I nearly beg her to meet then she agreed.
During the meeting, I say I have forgiven her and she cried and hug me. She didn't expect i will forgiven her and say she will ask me out next week to talk when I cool down. (If that's the case, then why she want to decline my offer to meet up)
I told her I choose to forgive you because I don want to bear grudges to each other and let's not end this in a bad note. I forgive doesn't mean we can get back together. After that she don't wish to touch me and nothing much to say. We just part way and we are officially broken up.

I'm glad that I'm able to find out all these b4 we got our BTO selection and all the marriage arrangement. She's not the one for me and I can't spend the rest of my life with her even though I still love her. It will be a love that I need to suffer. In a way I should thanks that bastard that make me see through her real self.
(He do know that I have propose to her and still wan to cont this affair behind her wife who just married one year ago, He's a real motherfucker)

[nutman38]

TS, take care manz!
You will need at least a few months or maybe years to get over it.
Stay Strong!

[hil169]

Take care bro.

My gf once said she thinks messages should be kept private and not shown to anyone including bf. So i guess shes got something that she doesnt want me to see as well. That said, I'm fine with it. This day and age every guy and girl is talking to multiple potentials. Just like what the other bro said, hang on to one branch until another is secured. Difference is, i beg to differ, that it happens to both gender.

Shes busy with work, so am i. So I doubt theres any chance for either of us to cheat but we never know whether one is truely doing OT if you all get my drift. Now i seriously wonder if i should get married..

[6TRACY]

He cheated.
I found out.
Then,
I cheat too.

[merelyevil]

You made the right choice..hope tracy isn't the female lead

[sammyhunk]

Sad to hear that bro.

Anyway from your description, I'm quite sure she has done more than kissing or holding hands. At this point in time, her privacy is still so important to protect them to save the relationship. You are definitely someone she can afford to lose since she can last minute cancel on your dates and go mia till home.

Glad that you found out her true self before marriage. Else more heartbreak to come and definitely more painful too.

Cheers bro.

[sammyhunk]

Sad to hear that bro.

Anyway from your description, I'm quite sure she has done more than kissing or holding hands. At this point in time, her privacy is still so important to protect them to save the relationship. You are definitely someone she can afford to lose since she can last minute cancel on your dates and go mia till home.

Glad that you found out her true self before marriage. Else more heartbreak to come and definitely more painful too.

Cheers bro.

[randyrockhard]

Take care bro.

My gf once said she thinks messages should be kept private and not shown to anyone including bf. So i guess shes got something that she doesnt want me to see as well. That said, I'm fine with it. This day and age every guy and girl is talking to multiple potentials. Just like what the other bro said, hang on to one branch until another is secured. Difference is, i beg to differ, that it happens to both gender.

Shes busy with work, so am i. So I doubt theres any chance for either of us to cheat but we never know whether one is truely doing OT if you all get my drift. Now i seriously wonder if i should get married..

Brother warbird once shared a link about marriage, and the article said

The only reason a guy should ever get married is when he wants to have family, simply because the system takes side with the woman.

Once you tied the knot, the government declare that half of your wealth is hers by default, and your children would belong more to her than you.

So, you need to minimize the risk of those two things happening, that she may run away with your wealth and your children. Choose your wife wisely.

[seekerJ]

Take care bro.

My gf once said she thinks messages should be kept private and not shown to anyone including bf. So i guess shes got something that she doesnt want me to see as well. That said, I'm fine with it. This day and age every guy and girl is talking to multiple potentials. Just like what the other bro said, hang on to one branch until another is secured. Difference is, i beg to differ, that it happens to both gender.

Shes busy with work, so am i. So I doubt theres any chance for either of us to cheat but we never know whether one is truely doing OT if you all get my drift. Now i seriously wonder if i should get married..

Bro I understand how you feel because I been through it but I never doubt my partner at all even I saw a guy selfie on her photo gallery. I just assume just some friend because he doesn't look good at all. I'm too confident of her that she will not talk to other guys beside me but I am the foolish one. It's not a bad thing to doubt on your partner when you realise something is not right. It's the gut feeling you know something is not right.

I wasn't sure I should get married with her as I feel we are not there yet but she been very anticipate to faster get marry because of age, family & friend pressure and having children. She can't wait to get marry and I am not sure she want to marry me because of love or just someone available to marry her to fulfill her desire.

I feel I am liberate from all these doubts and burden as I know she confirm not the one I want to marry after this incident. I truly see through her after so many years that she just wearing an Angel skin and portray a perfect, pure, demure and kind girl but deep down her heart you can't see how dark it is. All the lies and mind games she playing on me.

[seekerJ]

I able to find out that guy she having affair is our secondary school senior not her Uni friend. Btw we study the same school. So their rs can back track till that time and I found out from my close guy friend that guy has track record of playing around with girls even he's not handsome but having very good sweet talking skill.

I thought of some plan to get him but after much thinking it's really not worth of my time and effort to do all these. I believe what goes around comes around, karma will do the job for me. I have to let it go and focus on things that is important to me.

[boycott]

TS you need to consider yourself lucky you found out and broke off before marriage and your BTO.

Just imagine if you happily married then find out your wife doing this. There will be so much trouble and paperwork. Even if you forgive her one episode, everytime when she goes out alone in the future or stay back for OT it would easily rouse your suspicion. Then your wife will say you stalk her, never forgive her, asking lots of questions, limiting her freedom etc etc.

A tiger doesn't change his stripes, you never know what she will do again behind your back.
It is better off breaking up.

You are right, no point going after the other guy. There will be no satisfactory ending to your meeting with him, nothing much to achieve by meeting him.

[lawry]

I able to find out that guy she having affair is our secondary school senior not her Uni friend. Btw we study the same school. So their rs can back track till that time and I found out from my close guy friend that guy has track record of playing around with girls even he's not handsome but having very good sweet talking skill.

I thought of some plan to get him but after much thinking it's really not worth of my time and effort to do all these. I believe what goes around comes around, karma will do the job for me. I have to let it go and focus on things that is important to me.

Let it go.
It takes two hands to clap.

[mushimushimo]

Let it go.
It takes two hands to clap.

This is so true. Hope TS finds someone new and worthy :)

[ibanezjem555]

Bro TS,

If women loves you, they want to spend all time with you like superglue. Take you go and see their girlfriends, hold your hand, hug your arm, die die must be with you and will insists you be with them.

In short, they don't just want your money, they want your time, your soul and energy. So, really doubt she is really into you.

Like bros said, if got one time, got two times. Now confirm many times already. Say OT some more.. time to cut and run bro.

Steel yourself bro ! :cool:

[hil169]

Agree. Who knows whether there's more than just that guy. Blatant lying to cover up. Acting all angel while devil's running workshop in the mind. I'm having low confidence in my gf now...

[voluptuousvenus]

Bro, a happy and satisfied gf will never go out with another man to Sentosa or anywhere else. If the guy is a friend, she will openly tell you about it, there is nothing to hide.

When i was still single, I'd go out with male colleagues for drinks and I tell my bf. He can join us if he wants - nothing to be guilty about. But if I it's someone I like, I definitely won't tell him. But that never happened coz I was so into him and all other guys are friend-zoned.

I'm very sorry that your gf could be cheating on u.

[a2014]

Bro, a happy and satisfied gf will never go out with another man to Sentosa or anywhere else. If the guy is a friend, she will openly tell you about it, there is nothing to hide.

When i was still single, I'd go out with male colleagues for drinks and I tell my bf. He can join us if he wants - nothing to be guilty about. But if I it's someone I like, I definitely won't tell him. But that never happened coz I was so into him and all other guys are friend-zoned.

I'm very sorry that your gf could be cheating on u.

True, more to come, I guess maybe good just to downgrade from gf to normal friend. Not that she is no good, but I guess she is those that once you sweet talk her she will buy in those kind. Therefore be it with you or with others next time, so long as there is a wolf around she will offer.

Unless you really got a very big heart and a very deep pocket that differ from other man.

Take Care @seekerJ

[turbokar]

Hi ts,

read thru your story. from experience what she said to you are all lies. just hold hand and kiss only? dont believe her bullshit. Has some mad pride and break up with her. Do not beg and contact her anymore. There isnt anymore love from her to you. Her heart has already left you and opening up for other guys.

again, do not beg or contact her anymore

[freezetheDB]

hold hand and kiss is just official lie only
the truth is always something more had been done

[smile_santa]

Take care bro.

My gf once said she thinks messages should be kept private and not shown to anyone including bf. So i guess shes got something that she doesnt want me to see as well. That said, I'm fine with it. This day and age every guy and girl is talking to multiple potentials. Just like what the other bro said, hang on to one branch until another is secured. Difference is, i beg to differ, that it happens to both gender.



Actually thats the policy i instill in all my relationships. I guess I'm just somebody that really needs my own privacy. I've never "exposed" all of me to 1 single person. So i return the same privacy previledge on my spouse as she offers to me. I run solely on mutual trust because that's what 2 person in love should have in each other.

I'm never worried about being cheated on because if someone has the intention to do it, they will despite all sorts of restrictions. Besides, you can't possibly spend 24 hours with your spouse to monitor her. Both of you have your own lives to live.

[hil169]

Actually thats the policy i instill in all my relationships. I guess I'm just somebody that really needs my own privacy. I've never "exposed" all of me to 1 single person. So i return the same privacy previledge on my spouse as she offers to me. I run solely on mutual trust because that's what 2 person in love should have in each other.

I'm never worried about being cheated on because if someone has the intention to do it, they will despite all sorts of restrictions. Besides, you can't possibly spend 24 hours with your spouse to monitor her. Both of you have your own lives to live.

I agree with you. Bro, are you married?

[Tomokashi]

when she lies to you, for another guy. you know something has happened.

do have a thought about it.

[devilborne87]

100% cheating.....time to move on......if u get married with her....u will be wearing green hat in no time....end it while its still early....All the best bro!!!

[porscheclub]

5 yrs in a relationship will get stale & girls want marriage as their biological clock ticks, well mostly.

There's two sides to a coin.

Put down your anger. You need to reflect upon yourself why she did that, how much effort have you been putting into this and what future do you see for the both of you. Hope you find some solace after that.

[seekerJ]

5 yrs in a relationship will get stale & girls want marriage as their biological clock ticks, well mostly.

There's two sides to a coin.

Put down your anger. You need to reflect upon yourself why she did that, how much effort have you been putting into this and what future do you see for the both of you. Hope you find some solace after that.

Thanks bro for the advice. It's true as what you mention that there's two sides to a coin. I do have my fault as taking certain things for granted as she will be always be with me. Not taking further steps to solve problems but avoiding it to prevent unhappy argument. She choose not to open to me and i should trying way to open her heart with love and care. It will be a constant hardwork and effort to do it but as a saying it takes 2 hands to clap. There's so much I can do but if she choose not to response, it will be a draining for a person keep hitting a cold wall.

Btw I have proposed to her and over her expectation of her dream proposal (While she is seeing someone else behind me). She say yes to me with a bit of hesitation. She do know she should stop whatever affair and knowing she's committing to someone for life. She can stop while she can as I have no clue about the affair. But she choose to continue the affair and just nice I able to caught her red handed few weeks after the proposal.

I believe every rs and marriage will have their problem like lack of communication, lost of been in love but it doesn't give you the right of having an affair. It really show how bad you have put yourself own needs first and neglect your partner's feeling as the least priority of all. I think I will have many affairs during the rs after so many unhappiness and disagreement.

I have cooled my mind and heart about the affair and accept this really happened. I don see any future in us after this incident which trust is broken and solely depend on love will not last us long. After all the talking and I decided to break up with her and she volunteer to return the proposal ring to me. We have ended it.
But after a few days later, I don know what came to her mind, maybe she have regretted of what she have done or do not want to face the shit she have made and want us to get back together.

What I can say it's really too late to say or do anything to save the rs back while she have all the chances I have given to her. I do feel soft hearted after her plead and she really put down her ego & pride to save the rs. But I have made up my mind that it's the end and the most we can be friends and she can do whatever she need to gain back my love and trust if there's really a slight chance of us getting back. She still need to clear her own shit that she have done and face the music. Now it's like a turn of the table.

[seekerJ]

Hi All Bro & Sis that are been following my thread and showing your concern and giving me advises and opinions. I have seen all your replies and really appreciate all the love you have given.

I am back to single life and I have my freedom back. I can chase my dream that might nearly died if I chose marriage. I remain friend with my ex as that the most I can do.

Things get really complicated after the break up and patch back as friends. It's like those kind of drama you see in mediacock or K drama. It's kinda of drama that I don believe will happen in real life. I don wish to share in details what really happen as maybe someone we know might looking at this thread. Don wanna expose our identity and become some gossip topic among people we know.

Wish everyone good health and great love life.

[makeyouhappy]

Buddy, hope you move on successfully and soon.

Hit me up if you like a drink or something and talk to another guy so you can let loose, etc.

Cheers, better treasures await you. ;)

[porscheclub]

Ah very well. Congratulations I must say as it's ended.

Remember, career comes first for men. Establish your bank account then you can have all the fun you want but don't squander it. Love may come and go but never ever dump everything for a woman except your mother. Cheers & be well!

[xqueen]

Brother warbird once shared a link about marriage, and the article said

The only reason a guy should ever get married is when he wants to have family, simply because the system takes side with the woman.

Once you tied the knot, the government declare that half of your wealth is hers by default, and your children would belong more to her than you.

So, you need to minimize the risk of those two things happening, that she may run away with your wealth and your children. Choose your wife wisely.


bro thanks for sharing, really an eye-opener to see this paragraph and the different view of marriage ...

[Bullshitlar]

you did good breaking up with her.
A cheater doesnt want to continue the relationship because of love.

They want to continue because of the benefits u can give her.
greedy selfish bastard.

Here my story in short
Ex cheated on me with a jobless soft rice serial cheater chef, they plotted to cheat me of my money as i in plans of opening a hawker business.

1week shy of stall opening i caught her red handed as i woke up in bed midnight and she wasnt there.

All the while my ex was jobless cause she was lazy hence i decided to open a hawker stall for her. I did the housework, take care of her sick dogs and her sick mum (i paid for everything)

Told me all sorts of lies and excuses that it was my fault she cheated and she didnt put a knife on my neck to treat her well.

So i fuck her off after waking up to her mind games. (told me all her EX cheated on her but she did the exact same to me)

Fast foward, i made friends with the soft rice king EX wife and found out he was a serial cheater who also cheated her money to pay for the hse. (he no money)

Today hearing from the EX wife, that stupid idiot sold his house after being together 3months to give her money to open a hawker stall. this is what i call karma since i know the business wont last. She was lazy and denial, that guy was similar in character.

BTW that guy is still cheating, talking to ex wife (my ex was insecure woman, disallow all forms of female contact) and maybe other girls as well.

I feel lucky finding out about affair, wish it was earlier as i already sink in money into the hawker. She was a terrible woman.

Now i decided to become a better person(better than i was before knowing her) for myself. Exercising, working and being a stronger person.

[Bullshitlar]

Ah very well. Congratulations I must say as it's ended.

Remember, career comes first for men. Establish your bank account then you can have all the fun you want but don't squander it. Love may come and go but never ever dump everything for a woman except your mother. Cheers & be well!

well said bro. ur so right

[FreebiezWanker]

TS good u move on. Hvnt married n hardly any sex, imagine wen married?? So r/ship too much past dramas that its better off to start with someone new.

[Belt]

Bro TS,

If women loves you, they want to spend all time with you like superglue. Take you go and see their girlfriends, hold your hand, hug your arm, die die must be with you and will insists you be with them.

In short, they don't just want your money, they want your time, your soul and energy. So, really doubt she is really into you.



bro you are really inside. Woman is more emotional and want to be with their man all the time if got feelings :D

[abcbear]

Good for you bro seekerJ, glad that you managed to found out about the cheating before marriage. Dont listen to those whores who cheated even while she agreed to married you. I can tell you frankly, a girl can control her sexual impluses much better than guys, if she choose to spread her legs and let some random 'sweet' guy pump her dry.. better forget about it, she will never be a good wife.

My ex-wife of 5 years cheated on me for almost 1 whole year, that was before our BTO was ready. I was working like a dog to pay for our new house. End up after getting the house and sunking my life savings into our flat. I found out she has been fucking around with a navy regular. Fuck in car, fuck in hotel,dirty sex chats and even got the audacity to meet the guy parents and intro herself as the gf.

All the while I was paying everything, after the discovery of the affair, ex-wife attitude changed 180 degree, became fucking money-faced, even calling police up my house to intimidate me and my mum even when she was in the wrong. Keep spreading lies on FB to make me look bad instead.

After this episode, I push myself harder than ever before, I lost 14kgs, became fitter, much more career focused until I got the best rating in my company unit. Being raking in much more $$ due to OTs and no need to fuck care about my ex-wife feelings anymore..just started a side business also and my confidence is sky high at the moment. Bitches are just dream killers. Men got the potential to be much more.

Though I really wanted a family, now is not the time for me yet...always invest in yourself first. Be hard about it and dont give yourself the chance to soft hearted to your ex anymore. Just cut off your contacts with her..if not sad stories sure come out and you might waver. Take care bro.

"Men can lose alot of money chasing girls, but no men ever lost girls chasing money"

[sammyhunk]

Bro seeker,

Please DO NOT be softhearted and forgive all her wrong doings. DO NOT go back to her because of sympathy as a rs based on sympathy will not last long. The relationship had major cracks and it's IMPOSSIBLE to mend back. I foresee further quarrels to arise based on this cheating account.

My advice to you is to move on, find a new partner and start everything afresh.

DO NOT look back.



Thanks bro for the advice. It's true as what you mention that there's two sides to a coin. I do have my fault as taking certain things for granted as she will be always be with me. Not taking further steps to solve problems but avoiding it to prevent unhappy argument. She choose not to open to me and i should trying way to open her heart with love and care. It will be a constant hardwork and effort to do it but as a saying it takes 2 hands to clap. There's so much I can do but if she choose not to response, it will be a draining for a person keep hitting a cold wall.

Btw I have proposed to her and over her expectation of her dream proposal (While she is seeing someone else behind me). She say yes to me with a bit of hesitation. She do know she should stop whatever affair and knowing she's committing to someone for life. She can stop while she can as I have no clue about the affair. But she choose to continue the affair and just nice I able to caught her red handed few weeks after the proposal.

I believe every rs and marriage will have their problem like lack of communication, lost of been in love but it doesn't give you the right of having an affair. It really show how bad you have put yourself own needs first and neglect your partner's feeling as the least priority of all. I think I will have many affairs during the rs after so many unhappiness and disagreement.

I have cooled my mind and heart about the affair and accept this really happened. I don see any future in us after this incident which trust is broken and solely depend on love will not last us long. After all the talking and I decided to break up with her and she volunteer to return the proposal ring to me. We have ended it.
But after a few days later, I don know what came to her mind, maybe she have regretted of what she have done or do not want to face the shit she have made and want us to get back together.

What I can say it's really too late to say or do anything to save the rs back while she have all the chances I have given to her. I do feel soft hearted after her plead and she really put down her ego & pride to save the rs. But I have made up my mind that it's the end and the most we can be friends and she can do whatever she need to gain back my love and trust if there's really a slight chance of us getting back. She still need to clear her own shit that she have done and face the music. Now it's like a turn of the table.

[Megatronzombie]

Dear bro TS all the bros here are correct. A leapord cannot change its spots. I forgave my ex gf for cheating on mebefore and then just two weeks later i caught her red handed. Women are like this, they will go to whoever gives them attention. Nothing more. Career should always come first. You are very lucky you fou d out about your slut ex gf's affair. Don't even think about it even once to get back with her. Its pointless. Earn lots of money and go high in your career and you will find alot more eligible fish in the sea.

[Dinoroar]

It's best to clear it up and move on. Good luck TS

[NDjokovic]

It's best to clear it up and move on. Good luck TS

Agree with you bro

[Bullshitlar]

Good for you bro seekerJ, glad that you managed to found out about the cheating before marriage. Dont listen to those whores who cheated even while she agreed to married you. I can tell you frankly, a girl can control her sexual impluses much better than guys, if she choose to spread her legs and let some random 'sweet' guy pump her dry.. better forget about it, she will never be a good wife.

My ex-wife of 5 years cheated on me for almost 1 whole year, that was before our BTO was ready. I was working like a dog to pay for our new house. End up after getting the house and sunking my life savings into our flat. I found out she has been fucking around with a navy regular. Fuck in car, fuck in hotel,dirty sex chats and even got the audacity to meet the guy parents and intro herself as the gf.

All the while I was paying everything, after the discovery of the affair, ex-wife attitude changed 180 degree, became fucking money-faced, even calling police up my house to intimidate me and my mum even when she was in the wrong. Keep spreading lies on FB to make me look bad instead.

After this episode, I push myself harder than ever before, I lost 14kgs, became fitter, much more career focused until I got the best rating in my company unit. Being raking in much more $$ due to OTs and no need to fuck care about my ex-wife feelings anymore..just started a side business also and my confidence is sky high at the moment. Bitches are just dream killers. Men got the potential to be much more.

Though I really wanted a family, now is not the time for me yet...always invest in yourself first. Be hard about it and dont give yourself the chance to soft hearted to your ex anymore. Just cut off your contacts with her..if not sad stories sure come out and you might waver. Take care bro.

"Men can lose alot of money chasing girls, but no men ever lost girls chasing money"

Well done bro, some people are just so scary monsters. I feel ur pain, been there myself. Ur in a better place now. Stay strong

[Ladyrain]

Buddy, hope you move on successfully and soon.

Hit me up if you like a drink or something and talk to another guy so you can let loose, etc.

Cheers, better treasures await you. ;)

Invite me leh

[sexylexi]

Hi everyone..
First time starting a thread and pardon me if I have any mistake.

I found out my gf been out with a guy alone and he send her from work to Sentosa beach for dinner and send her back home.
She totally lie to me that she having OT but actually with someone else.
I'm able to caught her when she left the guy car at her place. I was waiting for her there and there's no one else in the car but the guy. There's a good 3 minutes she was in there while the car is stationary.

I confronted her and she mention he's just a close friend and she don't want me to know she out with him becoz she do not want me to think other wise. Their meet up is seeking his advice about work and relationship problems.

I found out from her this is not the first time they have met and the guy is married and his wife may not know about it. I never hear of this guy during our rs for the last 5 years.

Many things running on my mind that should I buy her explaination because never in my mind she will do this.

Guys from above situation as a 3rd party what do you think?
All above are facts that i confirm and no added emotion on it.

Thank you all for reading and maybe advice or comment that follow..

Hey i am newbie here, just passing by. Im so sorry this happened to you. Be strong and take care of yourself. You deserve better.:)

[seekerJ]

Thanks again for all the Bro & Sis of words of encouragement and sharing a part of your story. I find myself consider lucky compare to some of the bro stories.

Heard many other cheating stories as the wife or girlfriend cheated on them. Nowadays cheating has become a norm that it can happen to anyone.
Marriage also is not really suitable to everyone. It just a cert but that cert can bring half of your wealth away to your wife. Have to really consider carefully who you marry, are you willing to give away half your wealth to her if both of you divorce.

I trying to move on since the day I broke up with my ex and make it a clean break. It's kind of hard at first to kick the habit of thinking about her and want to text her etc. We do still contact but it getting lesser and lesser. I have to distract myself by working or doing something so I can avoid thinking about her. It takes time to fully breakaway. Time always heal.

[alwaysalone]

Thanks again for all the Bro & Sis of words of encouragement and sharing a part of your story. I find myself consider lucky compare to some of the bro stories.

Heard many other cheating stories as the wife or girlfriend cheated on them. Nowadays cheating has become a norm that it can happen to anyone.
Marriage also is not really suitable to everyone. It just a cert but that cert can bring half of your wealth away to your wife. Have to really consider carefully who you marry, are you willing to give away half your wealth to her if both of you divorce.

I trying to move on since the day I broke up with my ex and make it a clean break. It's kind of hard at first to kick the habit of thinking about her and want to text her etc. We do still contact but it getting lesser and lesser. I have to distract myself by working or doing something so I can avoid thinking about her. It takes time to fully breakaway. Time always heal.

Bro, move on by making yourself a better man, be it successful at work and in other hobbies and talent.
Work hard and of course take the time to go learn how to play the field again.

[alwaysalone]

http://www.iliketoquote.com/img/683.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8b/40/83/8b40830b5248eb10abb7eb221bd87555.jpg

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[linrx]

Hi everyone..
First time starting a thread and pardon me if I have any mistake.

I found out my gf been out with a guy alone and he send her from work to Sentosa beach for dinner and send her back home.
She totally lie to me that she having OT but actually with someone else.
I'm able to caught her when she left the guy car at her place. I was waiting for her there and there's no one else in the car but the guy. There's a good 3 minutes she was in there while the car is stationary.

I confronted her and she mention he's just a close friend and she don't want me to know she out with him becoz she do not want me to think other wise. Their meet up is seeking his advice about work and relationship problems.

I found out from her this is not the first time they have met and the guy is married and his wife may not know about it. I never hear of this guy during our rs for the last 5 years.

Many things running on my mind that should I buy her explaination because never in my mind she will do this.

Guys from above situation as a 3rd party what do you think?
All above are facts that i confirm and no added emotion on it.

Thank you all for reading and maybe advice or comment that follow..

The American model is not a universal standard.