Going ML when baby is 2 months old ok?

[soccerfreak]

Hey, just want some advice. My wife just delivered 2 mths back. Havent had sex since 3 mths before she delivered. Our sex life isnt say very active to begin with. Around like once every fortnight. I usually go ML to settle if I can find time.

But now that I have baby, I am trying to fight the temptation to go. It has helped that I rush home immediately after work and weekends I am taking care of baby. My wife is still not ready, or also doesnt have the mood or time for sex. I live in a tiny house with a new maid as well. So it is quite hard to find time. Whats more I also cant find a slot to hj at home (sometimes I do it in office toilet), plus doing it urself is just different feel.

I found out recently that a ML I rtm (i have never rtm before), is now back in Spore!! This made me even more gian!! Can you lao jiaos advice how I can curb it? I have been trying to find all the reasons to justify I can go...even thouh deep inside I know its wrong...

[lurpsexx]

Just do it. Pay, fuck n go off.. No emotional strings. Just satisfy ur physical urge can Liao.ur not betraying anyone as all human hv this need.

[soccerfreak]

Just do it. Pay, fuck n go off.. No emotional strings. Just satisfy ur physical urge can Liao.ur not betraying anyone as all human hv this need.
I dont go FL.... just ML...partly coz i scared, partly coz it seems like I will be even more guilty for penetrating...

So u think its perfectly fine?

[larue]

NO.

Must wait till baby is 3 months old.

[conquer]

That is what hoes are for.

You are buying a service which you need... What is the issue? :)

[sadfa]

I dont go FL.... just ML...partly coz i scared, partly coz it seems like I will be even more guilty for penetrating...

So u think its perfectly fine?

You must be fuckin joking.

To a woman who just gave birth to yr child, its never fine even if her vagina closed up.

[hugs]

You must be fuckin joking.

To a woman who just gave birth to yr child, its never fine even if her vagina closed up.You are not helping by saying that la.

I dont go FL.... just ML...partly coz i scared, partly coz it seems like I will be even more guilty for penetrating...

So u think its perfectly fine?Bro you are feeling guilt. Not the correct feeling for your situation.

Hey, just want some advice. My wife just delivered 2 mths back. Havent had sex since 3 mths before she delivered. Our sex life isnt say very active to begin with. Around like once every fortnight. I usually go ML to settle if I can find time.

But now that I have baby, I am trying to fight the temptation to go. It has helped that I rush home immediately after work and weekends I am taking care of baby. My wife is still not ready, or also doesnt have the mood or time for sex. I live in a tiny house with a new maid as well. So it is quite hard to find time. Whats more I also cant find a slot to hj at home (sometimes I do it in office toilet), plus doing it urself is just different feel.

I found out recently that a ML I rtm (i have never rtm before), is now back in Spore!! This made me even more gian!! Can you lao jiaos advice how I can curb it? I have been trying to find all the reasons to justify I can go...even thouh deep inside I know its wrong...You need attention and physical contact from your wife. She is too busy with new baby. You dont have time to even hj on your own home. You have to tell her. Let her know it is not about you being horny. It is about you needing her and that sex is the fastest way to get it. In the long term, dont only go to wife for sex. But find time to pak toh with her. Let her know you need her too as much as the baby needs her.

[TwinTowers]

I dont go FL.... just ML...partly coz i scared, partly coz it seems like I will be even more guilty for penetrating...

You must be fuckin joking.

To a woman who just gave birth to yr child, its never fine even if her vagina closed up.

You missed the point here soccerfreak.Whether you
penetrate or not it makes no difference.

Eat outside means eat outside.

Point is if your wife ever finds out do you think she'll bother if you penetrate or not. Even if yr maid HJ you to her it's you who had committed a "crime".

Just imagine if yr wife HJ your best friend or colleague and later tells you "its ONLY a HJ but no penetration" can you in all your honesty take it?

So kwai-kwai now just look after your new born and be a good father since you are never a good husband :rolleyes:

[lunatart]

NO.

Must wait till baby is 3 months old.

Hahaha WTF :D

[sammyboyfor]

I found out recently that a ML I rtm (i have never rtm before), is now back in Spore!! This made me even more gian!! Can you lao jiaos advice how I can curb it? I have been trying to find all the reasons to justify I can go...even thouh deep inside I know its wrong...

If you enjoy just do it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with making the most out of life.

Your dick won't be in working order forever so you might as well maximise your returns while everything is still functioning as it should.

[lowhc]

Why ask in this forum? You should try asking for another view point in some parenting forums or religion forums. Seriously, the fact that you are here asking is already a decision. Nike.

[lancerlution2]

You are not helping by saying that la.

Bro you are feeling guilt. Not the correct feeling for your situation.

You need attention and physical contact from your wife. She is too busy with new baby. You dont have time to even hj on your own home. You have to tell her. Let her know it is not about you being horny. It is about you needing her and that sex is the fastest way to get it. In the long term, dont only go to wife for sex. But find time to pak toh with her. Let her know you need her too as much as the baby needs her.

Well said. Really well said. very experienced indeed. Clapppp

[sammyboyfor]

Why ask in this forum? You should try asking for another view point in some parenting forums or religion forums. Seriously, the fact that you are here asking is already a decision. Nike.

I don't understand why Singaporeans blindly follow the Christian value system even though we are not a Christian society.

The idea of being married and faithful to one woman and one woman alone originates from Catholicism. There is no such requirement in Chinese culture which actively encourages those with means to have as many concubines as they can afford.

If you want to fuck some other woman while your wife is out of action by all means go ahead. It is the Chinese way.

[sammyboyfor]

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/04/14/china-s-concubine-culture-lives-on-in-mistress-villages.html

China’s Concubine Culture Lives On in Mistress Villages

For Chinese men there’s no status symbol like a mistress, or two, or three, or four

A friend attended a work-related banquet in China recently. Seated at the same table were several men who were executives of Chinese state-owned enterprises. As bottles of Hennessy Cognac and jet-fuel-like baijiu were opened and quickly consumed, the topic of conversation awkwardly jostled from work to geopolitics to the price of Apple’s latest iPhone. One executive, his face glowing red from the night’s imbibitions, said he needed to buy one because his mistress demanded it. In fact, she was texting him about it as he spoke. He held out his phone’s lit screen as proof, new messages still incoming on his WeChat account.

Pouring out of the man’s mouth were words of complaint, but they were part of the act. The other guests at the table teased him about not being able to rein in his girl; after all, who was she to be nagging him when he was out with friends? This led to a discussion about how they maintained their ernai, sannai, sinai—second wives, third wives, or even fourth wives. They had finally found something they could all talk and laugh about.

It is not just the men in China who are open about their extramarital solicitations. Mei, a girl in her early twenties living in Shenzhen, has no occupation. She lives alone in an upscale two-bedroom apartment, a far cry from her family’s farmhouse in Zhejiang province. As she reached into her white leather Prada handbag, she offhandedly remarked, “This is a gift from him, so I know it’s not fake.” Out came her smartphone, on which she flipped through pictures of her residence. Everything was white as bleach. “Pure,” she teased, “like me.”

Mei went to Shenzhen shortly after she turned 18 to work for a relative’s import and export business. She had completed high school but never attended university, and felt that the rhythm of office work did not suit her. Eventually, to her parents’ chagrin, she began taking shifts in a karaoke bar, but did not tell them that she was actually working as a hostess. Months later, while on the clock, she met a man over 20 years her senior. He told her that he worked for the Chinese government, and they began seeing each other privately whenever he was in town. After several dates, he bought an apartment for her to live in—though the property is in his name—and began to provide her with a monthly allowance of “around ¥25,000” ($4,020) by depositing cash into a bank account for her to withdraw.

That high-powered professional men have illicit affairs is not an uncommon occurrence anywhere in the world. However, whereas an affair might be a secret elsewhere, Chinese men support multiple women, in part, to flaunt openly their wealth and social status.

In January 2013, the Crisis Management Center at Renmin University in Beijing published a study stating that 95 percent of corrupt Chinese officials arrested in 2012 had extramarital affairs. In a country where only 80 baby girls are born for every 100 baby boys, young available women are perceived as a rare commodity, and hence are hoarded by the affluent.

It is illegal in China for a government official to keep a mistress, yet this has not tempered the trend. The apartment complex where Mei lives is home to other women in similar setups. With the abundance of mistresses kept in China’s first-tier cities, the women often demand housing in the same areas, so that they can socialize with other mistresses. After all, these women are young and have no need to work, so they pass the time by spending hours together, gossiping and daydreaming about the future. These neighborhoods are known as ernaicun, literally “mistress villages.” But ernai is an old term, not exactly derogatory but certainly lacking in regard, so Mei prefers to call herself a “girlfriend.” Her benefactor is simply “him,” “my man,” and sometimes even “lover;” but not “boyfriend,” and never “husband.”

Real estate was a hot investment for the moneyed of China, but as the market cooled down in many cities, flats were left empty. As such, they were perfect vessels to house the mistresses of wealthy men. Hair and nail salons, foot massage parlors, boutiques, and coffee shops sprung up near housing estates popular with the mistresses, supported by cash that came from apparatchiks and executives elsewhere in the country.

Just as the men see their affairs as prizes to be bragged about, the women too have developed a hierarchy based on who their benefactors are. Mei’s keeper is a bureaucrat from Guangzhou, so naturally she became the queen bee in her club of concubines. Other members of her club are from all over the country, and are the mistresses of businessmen and officials from both Hong Kong and Mainland China. Some started out as karaoke bar hostesses like Mei, or worked in massage parlors. Others are or were university students who met their men online. With their education backgrounds and skill sets, they do not believe there are jobs anywhere in China that match their current income. However they ended up in Shenzhen, Mei says they all understand their roles are simultaneously trophy and ego booster, prostitute and companion.

Sex is a major vector in the relationships, but there are emotional attachments as well. Mei and her friends stay in touch with their “uncles” daily through messaging apps like WeChat, or chat clients like QQ. Some do it as an act, to maintain the façade of emotional entanglement, but Mei thinks that most of the girls she knows do genuinely care about the men they see, even though the arrangements are motivated by financial hardship: “It’s more than just sleeping with them. We go to nice restaurants and spend quiet evenings together, and they really share what’s on their minds. They are just looking for the intimacy that they do not get elsewhere.”

These men are tied to the women’s short-term monetary well-being, so Mei and her friends have learned the etiquette of being a mistress in China: be pretty and presentable, but not over the top; be youthful, but not overtly naïve; be jealous of other women, or act so; and most importantly, be a fantasy.

Even with all her comforts and a constant, tugging ennui, Mei knows the risks that she faces as an ernai. “I might be beaten up or shamed in public if his wife finds out about me, but that is unlikely and this is the best I can do for myself right now,” she said. “It is a good way to save money, and when I finally go home I can get married and start my own business. We like each other, and I think he’s proud of me, but I’m not a xiaosan, so I know it will end some day.” Xiaosan is literally “third person,” or a home wrecker. When asked if she might miss him, she shot back, “No!” Then came a moment of hesitation, and Mei chimed, “Maybe just a bit.”

[Lennyberg]

Hey, just want some advice. My wife just delivered 2 mths back. Havent had sex since 3 mths before she delivered. Our sex life isnt say very active to begin with. Around like once every fortnight. I usually go ML to settle if I can find time.

But now that I have baby, I am trying to fight the temptation to go. It has helped that I rush home immediately after work and weekends I am taking care of baby. My wife is still not ready, or also doesnt have the mood or time for sex. I live in a tiny house with a new maid as well. So it is quite hard to find time. Whats more I also cant find a slot to hj at home (sometimes I do it in office toilet), plus doing it urself is just different feel.

I found out recently that a ML I rtm (i have never rtm before), is now back in Spore!! This made me even more gian!! Can you lao jiaos advice how I can curb it? I have been trying to find all the reasons to justify I can go...even thouh deep inside I know its wrong...

there is this fine line between emotional cheating and physical cheating. to many missus cheating is just plain cheating no difference.

let me share with you how i see it. I am not the sort who forces myself on another. Be it FL, KTV WLs, gf, flings or my own OC. However, I am someone who has really high sex drive, I need it daily when I was younger without commitments. Now that I have a kid, uber busy at work, I still need it 3-5x a week. even though i fall asleep on the couch at 9pm, the drives never die.

However, we have understand that the missus is not a machine. She is tired after a day in the office and we bring the kid home without fail for the last 17 months. If I were to force it, there will be resistance then followed by unhappiness and most probably fights.

To counter that, I DIYed and I outsourced. However, I do not and will not have a permanent source that I may succumb into the KC trap. This manner, everything was done in a transactional basis. When I am done, I head home. having a high drive allows me to respond whenever I am called for when the missus wants it. End of day, everyone is happy.

I began to outsource again when my kid was 2 weeks old. Wipe your mouth clean and don't get caught, if caught never ever plead guilty. With the proper mindset you will be a happy man. when you are happy everyone is happy.

[hugs]

Best way a man should handle it and your wife must be one happy and lucky woman.

Ts, listen to this.

there is this fine line between emotional cheating and physical cheating. to many missus cheating is just plain cheating no difference.

let me share with you how i see it. I am not the sort who forces myself on another. Be it FL, KTV WLs, gf, flings or my own OC. However, I am someone who has really high sex drive, I need it daily when I was younger without commitments. Now that I have a kid, uber busy at work, I still need it 3-5x a week. even though i fall asleep on the couch at 9pm, the drives never die.

However, we have understand that the missus is not a machine. She is tired after a day in the office and we bring the kid home without fail for the last 17 months. If I were to force it, there will be resistance then followed by unhappiness and most probably fights.

To counter that, I DIYed and I outsourced. However, I do not and will not have a permanent source that I may succumb into the KC trap. This manner, everything was done in a transactional basis. When I am done, I head home. having a high drive allows me to respond whenever I am called for when the missus wants it. End of day, everyone is happy.

I began to outsource again when my kid was 2 weeks old. Wipe your mouth clean and don't get caught, if caught never ever plead guilty. With the proper mindset you will be a happy man. when you are happy everyone is happy.

[hugs]

thankyou bro:)

Well said. Really well said. very experienced indeed. Clapppp

[lilmei]

TS, u got maid, right? Help the maid make extra money by paying her for sex. End of day it's a employer-employee relationship even lesser guilt. Like how u difference between WL and ML, screwing at home makes u a 顾家男!

[kkk555]

Best way a man should handle it and your wife must be one happy and lucky woman.

Ts, listen to this.

totally agreed

[JAVgent]

there is this fine line between emotional cheating and physical cheating. to many missus cheating is just plain cheating no difference.

let me share with you how i see it. I am not the sort who forces myself on another. Be it FL, KTV WLs, gf, flings or my own OC. However, I am someone who has really high sex drive, I need it daily when I was younger without commitments. Now that I have a kid, uber busy at work, I still need it 3-5x a week. even though i fall asleep on the couch at 9pm, the drives never die.

However, we have understand that the missus is not a machine. She is tired after a day in the office and we bring the kid home without fail for the last 17 months. If I were to force it, there will be resistance then followed by unhappiness and most probably fights.

To counter that, I DIYed and I outsourced. However, I do not and will not have a permanent source that I may succumb into the KC trap. This manner, everything was done in a transactional basis. When I am done, I head home. having a high drive allows me to respond whenever I am called for when the missus wants it. End of day, everyone is happy.

I began to outsource again when my kid was 2 weeks old. Wipe your mouth clean and don't get caught, if caught never ever plead guilty. With the proper mindset you will be a happy man. when you are happy everyone is happy.

lol this is the best post here. My situation is quite close to this and I totally agree with the resolution.

[hondachongsg]

TS....

do whatever makes you happy... you can eat whatever dish you like, end of day just remember go home sleep can liao..

:)

[Mooning]

TS....

do whatever makes you happy... you can eat whatever dish you like, end of day just remember go home sleep can liao..

:)

Very well put

[newyorker88]

Just do it. Pay, fuck n go off.. No emotional strings. Just satisfy ur physical urge can Liao.ur not betraying anyone as all human hv this need.


Total agreement, you love your Wife. Go and release within that 1 hour. But your heart is still a your family. It will help you w the stress of being a new Father as well. Child rearing during first few years is very emotionally tiring n stressful. Better learn to relax and have places to releases but stay committed to ur family

[SengkangMRT]

TS

I spent a a lot of money on paid sex. That's why no money to drive car and resort to rely on MRT

Learn my mistake

[minicheque]

TS

I spent a a lot of money on paid sex. That's why no money to drive car and resort to rely on MRT

Learn my mistake

It is good to learn from mistake, well done :)

[Seeses]

TS....

do whatever makes you happy... you can eat whatever dish you like, end of day just remember go home sleep can liao..

:)

Very well said bro :)