How I use SEX to thwart pushy telemarketeers

[dirtyhairy]

To all the long suffering brothers and sisters who have been bothered by pushy telephone marketeers, here's a great way to stop them... via what you know best...SEX!

I am sure many of you samsters/samstresses out there, must have been plagued by countless salesmen/women through coldcalls as they try to sell their products/services to you. And it can be real annoying especially when you are in the bathroom, the John doing the "big job" and worse, worse...about to cum in your bonking!

I have since found a great way to sky them!
Each time such people calls, my standard answer is: "Er I cannot talk right now... I having sex!" and then I would imitate sounds of kissing by kissing my knuckles.. It was dammed hilarious...and funny when you hear a long silence over the other end as they are totally unprepared for such a thing.

One man was so shocked, that he apologised and hung up never to call again while two equally stunned woman callers, representing the banks, were so taken aback that there was a long silence before they could overcome their embarrassment to finally muster enuff to say"...oh..uh....thank you" and then hung up the phones.

Of course, I had a good laugh...and since then 5 other similar callers who had tried to call me previously to promote their products, had since stopped doing so after receiving the same treatment.

So SEX is still Best!

I suggest you give this a try and see what happens...who knows may be some of you may be in luck and there's a chio boo on the other end who may call you for a tryst elsewhere instead.

Me...no such luck yet as I keep salivating about the last three days of sheer ecstatic joys in the arms of the XiaoYan, the Suzhou nympho with the golden pussy...Oh Bro Witan if you could tell her so.

Cheers.

Bro DirtyHairy, lonely but horny

[Teatree]

Not only SEX.
Bank always call me to apply for money line or transfer credit balance to them (another credit card).

My standard reply is: Last Monday I strike ToTo and I have $650,000.
The telemarketer will reply: I guess you no need any loan! Thank you.

[dirtyhairy]

Yo Bro,

Godd enuff except you may invite unwanted attention by out-of-work foreign no-talent ready to tekan and rob you leh if word get around in the neighbourhood that you kena the big one! Also jealous people may scratch your car etc.
So SEX is still best... and no one can complain leh!
Cheers bro!
DirtyHairy, lonely but horny

[fw190]

Wonderful idea!

Not lying in wait for the next caller...

[Dekachin]

DirtyHairy... I couldn't stop laughing as I read your post... I mean it in a good way...

[thomas88]

Yes.....I totally agrees that was a very good one (SEX). LOLz ;)

[Castrol]

actually i used this one a few days ago. the girl from the bank called and i told her i'm having sex and i started moaning and panting on the phone.

but after 3 minutes she asked me, " hey you cumming soon? i havent got all day you know... " :D

[happybonker]

Not only SEX.
Bank always call me to apply for money line or transfer credit balance to them (another credit card).

Mine always call to settle outstanding bills. :(

[gilagila100]

actually i used this one a few days ago. the girl from the bank called and i told her i'm having sex and i started moaning and panting on the phone.

but after 3 minutes she asked me, " hey you cumming soon? i havent got all day you know... " :D

Hahahaha ... hey tis is cool bro .. y dun proceed to have phone sex wif her instead ??

[unsung80]

Great idea bro, will try it one day. Heehee

[Snuber]

but after 3 minutes she asked me, " hey you cumming soon? i havent got all day you know... " :D
And whats ur reply???

For me, it would be "Not yet leh...... need your help..." :D

[Presto6969]

I'm sure I'm going to try this on the next telemarketeer that calls me...

Great one! :D

[michael8330]

worth try it out with the tele-marketer:D

[Castrol]

Hahahaha ... hey tis is cool bro .. y dun proceed to have phone sex wif her instead ??

hey maybe i should've, its even toll free... :D

And whats ur reply???

For me, it would be "Not yet leh...... need your help..."

she'll help but if take too long, she may bill "late charges". :D

[Foxtrot]

actually i used this one a few days ago. the girl from the bank called and i told her i'm having sex and i started moaning and panting on the phone.

but after 3 minutes she asked me, " hey you cumming soon? i havent got all day you know... " :D

Bro! Serious or not?
You should get her number and challenge her to make you cum. :D

[youngboy_jb]

will it be considered sexual harressment??

[dirtyhairy]

Yo Bro,

Nice try but no bro... a sexual harassment charge wont hold here!
This is bcos you're are the one being harrassed for coitus interruptus lah... not the caller who's interrupting you.
For starters, she called you not you her.

But if you really from JB...where the laws ther can suka2 change, then it may be a different story...but imagine the publicity you will get. Shioko man...if fact such a charge may be dammed good for your reputation with all then horny ladies/aunties waiting in queue for your service man!
Enjoy!
Bro DirtyHairy likes to thank all the kind bros for upping my points. At last.. I will qualify to get more lobangs for more good bonks!

[angie II]

can i offer sex 2 thwart pushy female telemarketeers? :rolleyes:

[Magnum 357]

Hi dirty hairy, meet your weapon! use it to make their day! :D

[dirtyhairy]

Yo Bro Mag,
U r right...since then no calls from such telmarketeers liao.
But I stil laugh when I think of the two gals' long embarrassed silence on hearing my reply on sex....heeheee.
U should try it next time when contacted by such callers.

[ToxicQueen]

if i'm the gal, i'll surely hear the process of yr 'sex' making on the phone.
to see how fun n how loud u can moan...lol. then i'll call u again n say not very sextisying... lol..

[dirtyhairy]

Yo Sis ToxicQueenie,

That's the difference...bcos you r different...but the gals/guys who called that I used this trick, were so stunned...cos with the simulated kissing sounds etc..they were too embarrassed to wanna pursue further.
Of course, the easiest way is to to hang up when such telemarketeers called but that woud take the fun out of the joy of doing it back to such pushy callers who should "cold-call" you in the first place, right?

But you are not wrong to suggest that this tirk may not work all the time, and that the callers may return to hound you later...But the aim of this trick is to have some "phone-in-cheek" against such perky telemarketeers.

Cheers and enjoy life, which is too brief to be grieved.
Bro DirtyHairy

[WiLLiaM..]

Interesting technique .... :)