Problem with my long distance relationship

[hoesiong]

Hello bros,

My girlfriend is an Aussie and we met when she was in Sg doing her overseas work stint. So, we were together for about a year before she went back earlier this Feb. Like most couples in a LDR, we stay in touch through whatsapp messages and video calls on a quite a regular basis. In our recent chats, she claimed that I don't show her enough concern, which I disagree, and we started having arguments as a result. Initially, I thought it was due to her stress at work and thought nothing of it as some bickering is common with couples.
However, during the arguments, she would sometimes show her diva attitude to the extent of insulting me and threatening break-up. I felt belittled and despite all the rages I felt, I was always the first to apologize to calm the situation and stop her offense. After my apology, she would then also apologize for the harsh words and tells me that she don't mean them.
This has happened for 3-4 times already so I really don't know what really going through her mind.

My heart tells me that I still love her and should be forgiving but my brain tells me my limit is nearing and my dignity as a man is hurting.

Should I continue or give up on this LDR? What will you do in my shoes?Advice needed...
Bros, please share your stories and exp on LDR too.

[hoesiong]

I'm really lost now. Any advice would really help..
Thanks.

[FatSpider]

u are a useless man
u want be with her either u get that slut to come here or u be a dog and go there

else just fuk and forget

while u are moping and posting your sob story shes probably still snuggling in someone else bed with 2 black nigga cocks beside her and cum oozing out the cheebye

[smoofdeek]

I've been there so I feel you bro. The both of you gotta have a serious talk if you are gonna continue with the LDR. It's not easy when the both of you do not have a definite timeline of how long this LDR will continue. Most LDR works because they fly out and visit each other every 2 or 3 months or even every 6 months, and also they have plans for example, in 2 or 3 years time, they gonna move to the same city or one of the partners is gonna move to the other's city.

If there is no clear direction or timeline of where this LDR is going, it's doomed to fail. I would only encourage LDR if you know marriage is somewhere down the line and making plans for it, otherwise, it's better to end it no matter how much you love each other.

I think the distance and not knowing when she's gonna see you again is taking a toll on her, it's just as frustrating for her as it is for you. Talk to her, see where her mind is at right now, if you both decide to stick this through, make plans to meet once every few months, if both of you are not ready to settle down with each other, then take a break, go date other people, but you can always stay i touch and remain friends if you want. Nobody knows what the future brings, but there has to be a purpose in a relationship.

[FishPartner]

i had one long distant relationship sometimes back. I do not advise anyone to have one. It is not worth the effort.

[sky_liner2]

Difficult to maintain long distance luv-ship, unless married for quite sometime but posted to work overseas but coming home 2 to 3 times in a year is still ok. Bro, my advice is that you let go and find a local darling.

[Spector69]

My Bhutanese friend is cute and she has 3 sisters. When she came to look for a job we had a wonderful time. We still chat up on google TALK. Am planning a trip there after the raining season.

[HunnyCame888]

Stumbled upon a massage place years ago and the sole proprietor, Lek told me she is from Sa Kaeo Province. Two year ago she visited Malaysia and ask if we can meet up there. I went over to..connect with her and.. and was it a unforgettable trip.

We still keep in contact and I hope to visit her in BKK.

[FishingPartner]

My love from PNG is asking me for commitment. Never mix business with pleasure.

[Babarella]

Hello Everybody! I like Angmoh and they have cute butts. I am using apps to try to snag my beau. Wish me luck and hope i can learn German fast fast.

[Femalepartner]

I am from Thailand and my Singapore on/off bf called Ray have a long distant relationship. I am tired of it. Every time I talked about marriage he will disappear. I am planning to come over to fark him and it does not work, I am going back my married bf. Ray if you are reading this, I am cumming!

[VielSpass]

Hello Everybody! I like Angmoh and they have cute butts. I am using apps to try to snag my beau. Wish me luck and hope i can learn German fast fast.
Warum deutsch?

[FetPartner]

Stumbled upon a massage place years ago and the sole proprietor, Lek told me she is from Sa Kaeo Province. Two year ago she visited Malaysia and ask if we can meet up there. I went over to..connect with her and.. and was it a unforgettable trip.

We still keep in contact and I hope to visit her in BKK.

You reminded me of my relationship with Ann, who went by a yahoo handle Sad Rainbow or something like that. We spent about 7 years on yahoo messenger. One day the over worked worker in me was given a 3 days break and YM-ed Ann, booked a ticket to BKK and got an intro to the food and place.

Found out Ann is a virgin and don't blame me, i popped her cherry.

[Chengster]

I think the days are numbered. TS think u better expect the worst

[Babarella]

Warum deutsch?

Guten Abend

Warum Nicht?

[FishPartner]

cross cultural relationships have many problem and couples need to overcome these issues before they are compounded. For example are they open minded to accept each cultures, parents etc. If you have not embarked on one, understand the perils and pitfalls of such a relationships. Otherwise you get a lot of sleepless night.

[FishyPartner]

my maid is crying now because she is suspecting her hubby back home is sleeping with her sister who got pregnant recently.

[Johnbass]

my maid is crying now because she is suspecting her hubby back home is sleeping with her sister who got pregnant recently.

Tiagong this is the best time to console your maid and get free piak!
Mai say I never SIC hor...
:D

[MakeYouBark]

Tiagong this is the best time to console your maid and get free piak!
Mai say I never SIC hor...
:D

Tiagong sometimes u dress up as a maid to get free piak!
:D

[zhangwuji]

Inspired by these posting, I just viper my friend from the phil and told her i want to visit her in Laguna. Where in the world is Laguna? I better wiki the place. I know Marie for the longest time and we usually exchange email. Have not wrote to her since March this year. Wish me luck. She just ask me for chocolate as pasalubong.

[FishingPartner7]

I have a wechat friend called Vonnie. I miss her a lot and checking the online air ticket for Bandung. She asked for panadol from Singapore. I wonder what does tat mean. Will i give her a headache?

[iPussy69]

Tiagong sometimes u dress up as a maid to get free piak!
:D

JiBye lah...
U know how many maids will commit suicide because of that statement...
:eek:
:D

[JamieCarragher]

Not easy for long distance relationship. Better think carefully.

[Picard]

I have a wechat friend called Vonnie. I miss her a lot and checking the online air ticket for Bandung. She asked for panadol from Singapore. I wonder what does tat mean. Will i give her a headache?

i went to Bandung twice and met a property agent. She is a widow and a chinese indo. Today we remains as online friends.

[Geordie]

i am always pinning for my gf in HK. something about her accent makes her sexy. her family keeps an apartment off rifle range road. becky where are u now.

[anikisan]

I'm really lost now. Any advice would really help..
Thanks.

bro, though i've never in a LDR, but i've been in the same situation as you - ex gf threatening break up, insulting you and throwing princess fits for trivial reasons. like you, i had loved her deeply and endured all the nonsense she threw at me. but in the end, bro, i came to the conclusion that it is not worth all the trouble. some more u still in LDR, very hard one. not that i want to discourage u, but we have to be practical too.

the thing is, when i endured all these, i thought it was love. it was. but the more the i endured such nonsense and eat my pride and apologise all the time even though limpeh not in the wrong, i realised that i am becoming a completely different person from who i used to be before i met her. they say that in a healthy r/s, one should become a better person and of coz, a happier person. but i am not. i was unhappy and grew more temperamental.

so hor, in the end i just gave up la. i mean, how serious can a girl be if she kept using break up to THREATEN u? it's a form of emotional manipulation leh. if she really love you and cherish u, she would not suka suka say break up one la. or else she is really UNSTABLE in her emotions. not like crazy or anything, but her personality is unstable as in, she needs u to act as a stabilising force in her life else she will reach out to get it in extreme ways - one such eg is manipulating u by threatening to break up loh. does she have a poor childhood? abused? repressed by father, mother?

also hor, if she insults u badly, i would think that, as men, (sorry im quite a traditional male creature), we cannot afford to suffer such indignity. we need to show her that we mean what we say, and if she does not like what she hear, than forget it. talk tomorrow. next week or something. she needs to understand that u are not a door mat, but a man she respects and she can look up to because u are built of substance...not like a swaying tree. i think women hate such stubborness in men, but i know that deep down inside, they will respect us even more if we stick to what we say and remember, always be in control. it's ok to let her win sometimes, but cannot be ALWAYS.

i don't know if the above helps, but i wish u all the best!

[BlickBassy]

i had a sweet long distant relationship with becky from Wetnam. She took me to a seaside resort and she is so sumptuous! When we came back to HCMC, got a shock when she wanted a ring from a chinatown jewelry store.

[badboynani17]

I've been there so I feel you bro. The both of you gotta have a serious talk if you are gonna continue with the LDR. It's not easy when the both of you do not have a definite timeline of how long this LDR will continue. Most LDR works because they fly out and visit each other every 2 or 3 months or even every 6 months, and also they have plans for example, in 2 or 3 years time, they gonna move to the same city or one of the partners is gonna move to the other's city.

If there is no clear direction or timeline of where this LDR is going, it's doomed to fail. I would only encourage LDR if you know marriage is somewhere down the line and making plans for it, otherwise, it's better to end it no matter how much you love each other.

I think the distance and not knowing when she's gonna see you again is taking a toll on her, it's just as frustrating for her as it is for you. Talk to her, see where her mind is at right now, if you both decide to stick this through, make plans to meet once every few months, if both of you are not ready to settle down with each other, then take a break, go date other people, but you can always stay i touch and remain friends if you want. Nobody knows what the future brings, but there has to be a purpose in a relationship.

totally agreed with brudder smoofdeek. I had LDR with my ex-gf (Aussie) before and the whole episode was heartbreaking. The first year was great; we skype often and I also flew there to be with her for almost a month. But things started to change in the 2nd year where she started complaining that I neglected her and she started to feel insecure. ended up quarreling often and eventually broke up. It was the most painful breakup I ever had.

My advice is; If you guys are meeting often (say every 2-3 months) I think it's still ok. Other than that, even with the help of technology, LDR will not work. I'm speaking from experience.

But having said that, perhaps your gf is feeling insecure and lonely, so she could be temperamental. So if that's the case, try communicating with her more often. FB her, instagram her, whatever, coax her. Bottomline is, don't ever insult each other. it will only aggravate the situation.

All the best to you brudder. :D

[ultimadoom]

I have been thru a long distance relationship before and it is definitely not easy to maintain

First there must be a lot of trust and communication between the 2 of u simply because both of u don't see each other on a daily basis as and when u like it moreover there will be a lot of doubts as u or your partner will be wondering what the heck are u up to down there are u really telling the truth?? Is he at some club knowing some cute gal ?

Secondly there bound to be cultural difference things are done differently in different countries which only creates more friction between the 2 of u

Like what others say u must have a long term and short term plan for the both of u because eventually one of u will have to reallocate which means ur partner will probably stick to u 24/7 till they find new friends here which would take time thou there is nothing wrong with that but some may still want to enjoy those "me" time alone

Think carefully if she is really worth the time effort and $$ maybe u guys will be better off as friends

[porscheclub]

Just take a flight out & have a happy screw time.

I've had several LDRs & there's so many ways to keep both happy. Skype, Wechat & others are available on mobile to keep u closer than a spouse. I started out writing letters & 13hrs bus rides long ago when there's no internet!

We make an effort to meet bi-monthly or monthly whichever is convenient or meet up at a holiday destination.

The last thing you guys want is to start hurling insults & throwing temper. Have u sent her little presents or flowers? It can be done online in just 30mins. Girls love surprises. But if she's getting on your nerves then let go.

[hoesiong]

Thank you bros for all the advice. Really helpful and appreciate them:) The personal stories shared were interesting too.

I guess it may be because this is one of the few major relationship that I had so I wasn't that keen to give it up too. Culture difference and distance are difficult to overcome in this one. We spoke our it and decide to give ourselves 3 days to cool off before we settle for an outcome for this relationship.