Ok so....WTF?

[Sturmgrenadier]

Before I begin - I'd first like to say that I am genuinely confused and unsure of what to do.

I'd really like to hear some different opinions before I decide, so thank you bros/sis in advance.

Background

So we've been married for a little over 8 years and have 2 kids. My wife has largely retained her pre-birth figure and is still attractive.

Frankly our sex life was great before marriage and nose dived after the kids arrived. She didn't want to try anything different, didn't like foreplay and just wanted sex to be over in like 5 mins or less it seems.

In addition, due to her being on contraceptives at that point (at least thats what she said) - she didn't get wet easily and it often hurt for her after sex as well.

Honestly I often wondered if she didn't find me attractive anymore, my confidence took a hit and gradually we just stopped having sex for like months at a time.


The Present

So recently, lets just say that she has completely freaked me out a little. She actually initiates sex, tells me that she is horny and has even suggested that we fuck outdoors (which we have a few times).

Don't get me wrong man - I'm enjoying this BUT she really stunned me the other night while we were having sex and this is where I'd really like to hear some views from everyone about.

We'd just fucked and I'd came all over her ass, wiped her off and I was laying down catching my breath. Normally? That would be it and we'd wash up....but that night, she snuggled up to me and asked me what my fantasies were.

Giving her the politically right answer, I said "Sweety I don't need to fantasize when I have you".

So she asked me "Have you ever had a threesome" to which I answered "No" (thats a lie lol - I've had a few paid experiences of that nature before).

Then this was what really shocked me "She asked if I'd like to be in a threesome with her."

Thinking she was joking, I laughed it off but she didn't stop there.

She actually specified that she wouldn't want it to be a local girl, that I had to wear a condom while I fucked the other girl, that I couldn't french kiss the other girl and that I've have to finish off by fucking and cumming in my wife and not the other girl.

I was genuinely stunned.

She had clearly given this some serious thought and knew what her boundaries are.

I didn't know how to react and just laughed it off nervously and dashed off to wash up. My head was racing - is she joking? Is that some kind of test to see how I would react? Or was she really acting out one of HER own fantasies?

What do you think?

[coconutboy]

I think u better ask her if she wants mmf

[Sturmgrenadier]

I think u better ask her if she wants mmf

Didn't bother asking as that isn't something that I would do with her :)

[guess67]

I think u better ask her if she wants mmf

Ya maybe she is thinking of mmf :D

[ExBro]

Ya maybe she is thinking of mmf :D

Even sis thinks so..

[whatdoido]

Sounds like a trap to me

[Doldrums]

Sounds like a trap to me

Agree! For all you know... she could be in this forum... or she could be checking on your browsing history, smses and chats. Hows that for paranoia? :D

But then again, i would just play along, and not get too excited about it, just don't initiate anything and let her do the arrangements. If it comes thru, all good no?

Better start covering your tracks and cleaning up your history.

[SEAJeCockSucker]

Better you go suck cock la knn.


Presuming that this thread is genuine/the situation is real and not just another Ha-Ha comic send-off or ?? Come to think of it, why post in this section instead of the Matters of the Heart one? Hmmm…. never mind…. giving you the benefit of the doubt.

First I think that Communication – which is vital in any relationships, especially marriage is missing from yours. I suggest you must start REALLY talking with her instead of asking a bunch of strangers on a sex forum. Mongering, Samsters are good at, personal relationship? Not so sure! Mongering is just money, pay/no pay, worth it/not worth it etc., whilst personal relationships are way more than just that.

You are discussing YOUR FAMILY with 2 children, and IMHO, there’s a lot you and your wife needs to communicate properly about – and not just about sex which pales in comparative importance. Giving “Politically Correct” replies to your wife? ForCrissakes! You’ve been married 8 years and have a family! And you communicate with each other “politically correct?!”

Second, women in their early to mid-thirties are at the peak of their sexual needs and prowess. So not so surprising especially since apparently your kids are now grown enough where they don’t need her constant care; she probably now got time to revert back to her “old ways” as you had described your early days.

Third, she probably came to the realization that you ARE a great husband and father and thus now trying to make it up. But both you and her must realize that sex is NOT the be-all that will solve all your problems; it’s just the icing on the cake.

Fourth, good luck to you both!
I think you two need it, given what you’ve portrayed
SEAJ

[Sturmgrenadier]

Presuming that this thread is genuine/the situation is real and not just another Ha-Ha comic send-off or ?? Come to think of it, why post in this section instead of the Matters of the Heart one? Hmmm…. never mind…. giving you the benefit of the doubt. First I think that Communication – which is vital in any relationships, especially marriage is missing from yours. I suggest you must start REALLY talking with her instead of asking a bunch of strangers on a sex forum. Mongering, Samsters are good at, personal relationship? Not so sure! Mongering is just money, pay/no pay, worth it/not worth it etc., whilst personal relationships are way more than just that. You are discussing YOUR FAMILY with 2 children, and IMHO, there’s a lot you and your wife needs to communicate properly about – and not just about sex which pales in comparative importance. Giving “Politically Correct” replies to your wife? ForCrissakes! You’ve been married 8 years and have a family! And you communicate with each other “politically correct?!” Second, women in their early to mid-thirties are at the peak of their sexual needs and prowess. So not so surprising especially since apparently your kids are now grown enough where they don’t need her constant care; she probably now got time to revert back to her “old ways” as you had described your early days. Third, she probably came to the realization that you ARE a great husband and father and thus now trying to make it up. But both you and her must realize that sex is NOT the be-all that will solve all your problems; it’s just the icing on the cake. Fourth, good luck to you both! I think you two need it, given what you’ve portrayed SEAJ

Don't disagree with what you have said but do give us credit for being able to sift through the bullshit and to take what is said here with a pinch of salt as well.

That said, a couple of bros have shared personal views via PM which does give me a different perspective, much like your reply.

Family is of course the top priority but affairs of the heart are never black and white. Sometimes, circumstances are beyond our control as well and all we can do is try.

You are right however that communication is important - but this is completely virgin territory and frankly I have no idea what to think at this point....but once again, that doesn't necessarily mean that I will take any or all advice here. Just trying my luck to see if anyone else has had similar experiences that's all.

In addition, I believe that absolute 100% openness with one's spouse is the IDEAL but REALITY isn't always that cut and dried. Kinda like the "Do I look fat in this?" question for example.

As a caveat, if you do have 100% openness with your GF/Spouse type relationship? Then I salute you sir and perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who has managed to find your soul mate. Call me cynical but it'll probably be easier to find pink fluffy bunnies that shit pure gold nuggets :)

[Sturmgrenadier]

Agree! For all you know... she could be in this forum... or she could be checking on your browsing history, smses and chats. Hows that for paranoia? :D But then again, i would just play along, and not get too excited about it, just don't initiate anything and let her do the arrangements. If it comes thru, all good no? Better start covering your tracks and cleaning up your history.

Honestly bro? I don't have much, if at all to cover up these days.

Pre-Marriage/Kids I was a party animal. Post marriage/kids I'm pretty much work, gym and family - with perhaps a boys trip once a year and birthday gatherings with my RL bros for drinks and perhaps an occasional round of golf - that's it.

SBF for me is through Forum Runner app - so there's no history to talk about as it's automatically wiped upon closing.

The occasional porn surfing, which I haven't needed as of late (thank goodness lol) is through another password protected app called iSafe Pro - which again is wiped upon closing.

I don't fool around outside or chat with XMM via chat apps as well.

That said this paranoia is a good habit and may save some bros a lot of troubles lol. Thanks though!

[FishPartner]

Didn't bother asking as that isn't something that I would do with her :)

Maybe I can talk to her about this issue.

[FishPartner]

True enough!
My wife and I ran across this problem very early on in our marriage and have I think at least come to an acceptable compromise if not actually solved it.

We both come to the realization that we each need our own "space" - whether it's our jobs, our different friends, EVEN and especially what we are up to IN OUR OWN TIME. So when it comes to things like this, we basically do NOT ask and for sure do not demand answers. Not all answers are what you'd like to hear anyway, so why bother to even ask? What's important is US, our family and how we can work together to build it up.

SEAJ

You are MARRIED?

[atmos]

ts. check ur pm

[JPimp]

what is an mmf?

[Sturmgrenadier]

True enough! My wife and I ran across this problem very early on in our marriage and have I think at least come to an acceptable compromise if not actually solved it. We both come to the realization that we each need our own "space" - whether it's our jobs, our different friends, EVEN and especially what we are up to IN OUR OWN TIME. So when it comes to things like this, we basically do NOT ask and for sure do not demand answers. Not all answers are what you'd like to hear anyway, so why bother to even ask? What's important is US, our family and how we can work together to build it up. SEAJ

That though is somewhat like the unspoken compromise that we've come to as well, funny enough.

I get to do boys night every so often and a boys trip once a year. No questions asked.

She does her MJ sessions, girls night out and I've learnt just to give her space as well.

Still though, when questions like this comes up....one has to wonder where it stems from, you know?

[Sturmgrenadier]

ts. check ur pm

Replied thanks

[Sturmgrenadier]

what is an mmf?

Male Male Female (threesome)

[JPimp]

I think you should let her choose the "extra girl"....
you might just say "do not know such things la....you try and call your friend lor"

[JPimp]

Male Male Female (threesome)

I would not recommend guessing that is her intention. If she says so, and only if she says it explicitly, do not suggest.

She will bite back saying "so you are the type who will let other people fuck your wife"

And then...you are in trouble.

[Sturmgrenadier]

I would not recommend guessing that is her intention. If she says so, and only if she says it explicitly, do not suggest. She will bite back saying "so you are the type who will let other people fuck your wife" And then...you are in trouble.

True but the reality is I can't - so would rather not even try a threesome, even if it's MFF.

[Jtjan]

TS, you have an interesting situation and I guess you are second guessing things too much.

I will assume you want this threesome suggestion to be a reality. And from what you have replied, you only want FFM.

I will just tell you what I will do if I were in your shoes.
I will play along. She brought up the subject so I will just ask questions.
Like why? Is this her fantasy? Why did she have this fantasy? How will it turn her on?

Don't commit to the suggestion. Just be the curious caring husband encouraging his wife to tell him her fantasies. If she is trying to trap you, she probably will not be able to answer these questions properly or with a straight face. If it is genuinely her fantasy, you probably can sense her arousal while she talks about her fantasy.

And most important question, does she want this because she wants MMF in return? Since you are so against MMF, I think this question is important for you.
Or is it that she wants to try gal-on-gal?

But if that is really what she wants, then you should really think about it.
Imagine if that is her fantasy and you refuse to participate, will she just bottle it up? Or will she satisfy her craving outside of marriage? If you really can't take MMF, then suggest MMFF instead. Swapping partners in same room sex.

A liberated sex life may make your marriage even stronger or maybe not. Depends on the individual.

Lastly, even if you think she genuinely wants to try FFM, you should let her take the lead in choosing the gal, the place, the method...
And you must tell her you are only doing this to satisfy her fantasy, not yours!
So if she back out last minute, you can still walk away unscathed.


Cheers.

Jtjan

[Sturmgrenadier]

I broached this subject even before we got married....very carefully of course, and with a lot of care and concern for HER as the opening gambit. "Dear, I know you know I'm brutally honest and I think you're also completely honest, but to really make a go of our relationship, I know that I must give you space to continually build yourself; the worst thing for a relationship is if it suffocates. I promise you that I will NOT ask you questions you don't want to answer, and for sure not what you do on/with your own time. And although I would of course hope that nothing ever happens, I do know that there's nothing you, I or anybody else can do to stop you from doing whatever you want to do - and it is only right. And whether you are just having tea with your buddies or out shopping or having hot sex with somebody you couldn't say no to, it will not affect/will actually strengthen our relationship if we both are committed to the best for such. Just stick with the following rules: - Don't ever admit or worse tell me anything that you know will hurt me. What I don't know, won't hurt me. - Don't ever get pregnant, use condoms if you are going to have an affair; and of course no STD's. -Don't ever let me lose face i.e. never let our friends/family etc know as there's no backing away from them. -Let's just concentrate on building our relationship." SEAJ

Commendable bro but I'd rather not even try and broach the subject. Haiz.

[maxman]

I'd really like to hear some different opinions before I decide, so thank you bros/sis in advance.

Background

So we've been married for a little over 8 years and have 2 kids. My wife has largely retained her pre-birth figure and is still attractive.

Frankly our sex life was great before marriage and nose dived after the kids arrived. She didn't want to try anything different, didn't like foreplay and just wanted sex to be over in like 5 mins or less it seems.

In addition, due to her being on contraceptives at that point (at least thats what she said) - she didn't get wet easily and it often hurt for her after sex as well.

Honestly I often wondered if she didn't find me attractive anymore, my confidence took a hit and gradually we just stopped having sex for like months at a time.


The Present

So recently, lets just say that she has completely freaked me out a little. She actually initiates sex, tells me that she is horny and has even suggested that we fuck outdoors (which we have a few times).

Don't get me wrong man - I'm enjoying this BUT she really stunned me the other night while we were having sex and this is where I'd really like to hear some views from everyone about.

We'd just fucked and I'd came all over her ass, wiped her off and I was laying down catching my breath. Normally? That would be it and we'd wash up....but that night, she snuggled up to me and asked me what my fantasies were.

Giving her the politically right answer, I said "Sweety I don't need to fantasize when I have you".

So she asked me "Have you ever had a threesome" to which I answered "No" (thats a lie lol - I've had a few paid experiences of that nature before).

She actually specified that she wouldn't want it to be a local girl, that I had to wear a condom while I fucked the other girl, that I couldn't french kiss the other girl and that I've have to finish off by fucking and cumming in my wife and not the other girl.

What do you think?

Firstly, she and you are both blessed that after she has had 2 kids, she has returned to her pre-pregnancy figure! Do you know how many mothers don't? It is also common that when baby arrives, the wife's sex drive goes out the door because of maternal instincts.

I'm not an expert, but based on what I read, and my own experience with women, here goes.

I assume your wife was/is on the pill? A possible side effect is reduced sex drive. My current girlfriend (in her 30s) also told me that the pill causes her sex drive to reduce, making it difficult for her to be aroused, and hence difficult to get wet and painful to penetrate. Basically, the oven needs to take a longer time to warm up (if you know what I mean).

There are many articles stating that a woman's sex drive increases when she is in her 30s and even 40s. Unlike men who still produce sperm in his old age, there is a theory that with the female reproductive expiry date coming soon, older women in their 30s and 40s become more daring and adventurous with sex because their chance of reproducing is about to expire/end. (I noticed this in my girlfriend too who sometimes proposed doing MFF, but not so much MMF.)

I recall a recent study published in Australian news that older women in their 30s and 40s were more likely to engage in unprotected sex than their younger 20-something peers. (My girlfriend dislikes condoms and wants creampie as much as possible. If we did MFF, she has the same conditions as your wife, that is, I must cum inside her, not inside the other woman.)

I seriously don't believe your wife has thoughts of straying towards another man or other infidelity ideas. If anything, I think you should seize this opportunity that has come because when her menopause comes, this is likely to make your sex lives more difficult.

[acidicavex]

Is it a hurdle for her to get u into MMF? Are u ready for that? Yes it is already happening and more and more cpl are getting into such open lifestyle. But it is still consider a taboo by many. Some guys might even withdraw when a MMF happen.

Now come to your topic ffm? How do u n wife plan to find one unless she already have someone in mind. U can see for the fact that in the other sub section. Looking for a f to be part of it is like a needle in the haystack. Of coz MMF is much much easier haha due to the population here.

I would be curious why all a sudden change? Instill idea n watching such porn alone will never change a women mindset. Been down that path also trying gave up.

So I would be careful handling the issue.... of coz if u both elevate to bring your sex life to a next level. It will be good for both as long as one is not addicted to the fact.

There are case where thw wife really seek for a female for the kink to happen... that is of course the wife herself already have the thought of how it wouLD feel to make out with another women.

So better talk it out with wife why a sudden change women are very very sensitive creature they tell u okie now. Than it happen they will complaint u screw the stranger better than screw her. Also most woman will never let their men be touch by another women however they don't mind (provide she is that open) the attention of more men.

Gd luck all thw best.

[Yardstick]

Why make it so stressful for yourself, TS? Remember this, she started asking about it. Just tell her how you feel subtly.

"Sounds exciting but are you sure you want to do something like that?" kind of line will be good enough to lead her into telling you more before you stress yourself out. After all, everyone has their fantasies. It is just a matter of sharing it with someone else or not.

And I am pretty sure that you are getting flooded by emails asking for the chance of a MMF, given the nature of this forum.

Just remember, whatever you do down the road will have an impact on your life forever, good or bad.

[karmaisabitch]

she caught u cheating.

[bochapsing]

A liberated sex life may make your marriage even stronger or maybe not. Depends on the individual.

Lastly, even if you think she genuinely wants to try FFM, you should let her take the lead in choosing the gal, the place, the method...
And you must tell her you are only doing this to satisfy her fantasy, not yours!
So if she back out last minute, you can still walk away unscathed.


Cheers.

Jtjan

play along but make sure cover yourself first....

good luck and dun forget to share if it does happen... :D:D:D

[VictorPharoah]

Any more further story?

[josephlim184]

Before I begin - I'd first like to say that I am genuinely confused and unsure of what to do.

I'd really like to hear some different opinions before I decide, so thank you bros/sis in advance.

Background

So we've been married for a little over 8 years and have 2 kids. My wife has largely retained her pre-birth figure and is still attractive.

Frankly our sex life was great before marriage and nose dived after the kids arrived. She didn't want to try anything different, didn't like foreplay and just wanted sex to be over in like 5 mins or less it seems.

In addition, due to her being on contraceptives at that point (at least thats what she said) - she didn't get wet easily and it often hurt for her after sex as well.

Honestly I often wondered if she didn't find me attractive anymore, my confidence took a hit and gradually we just stopped having sex for like months at a time.


The Present

So recently, lets just say that she has completely freaked me out a little. She actually initiates sex, tells me that she is horny and has even suggested that we fuck outdoors (which we have a few times).

Don't get me wrong man - I'm enjoying this BUT she really stunned me the other night while we were having sex and this is where I'd really like to hear some views from everyone about.

We'd just fucked and I'd came all over her ass, wiped her off and I was laying down catching my breath. Normally? That would be it and we'd wash up....but that night, she snuggled up to me and asked me what my fantasies were.

Giving her the politically right answer, I said "Sweety I don't need to fantasize when I have you".

So she asked me "Have you ever had a threesome" to which I answered "No" (thats a lie lol - I've had a few paid experiences of that nature before).

Then this was what really shocked me "She asked if I'd like to be in a threesome with her."

Thinking she was joking, I laughed it off but she didn't stop there.

She actually specified that she wouldn't want it to be a local girl, that I had to wear a condom while I fucked the other girl, that I couldn't french kiss the other girl and that I've have to finish off by fucking and cumming in my wife and not the other girl.

I was genuinely stunned.

She had clearly given this some serious thought and knew what her boundaries are.

I didn't know how to react and just laughed it off nervously and dashed off to wash up. My head was racing - is she joking? Is that some kind of test to see how I would react? Or was she really acting out one of HER own fantasies?

What do you think?
I think you should give it a try. Ask her if she wan mmf, i volunteers