Abortion - Advice needed

[Cognac]

Just wanted to ask if any bros went thru this stage with their gfs? Think it's quite a traumatic experience but think I needed to know more, as in how your gal felt after the whole episode, and whether it affected the r/s between you 2.

Appreciate it if any bros can share. Thanks...

[jnlover]

Hi bro,

Just to share an experience my wife had few months back...
The little foetus stopped developing on the 3rd month and the only solution is to go for an abortion.

Naturally she cried for the whole night after the operation despite being physically weak and emotionally drained.

The critical point for guys will be to be by her side as often as possible (I applied leaves to stay with her for 2 days). She'll definitely need your comforting words and shoulder.

Time will cure the pain and the love between both of you will reach a more mature stage (provided it's mutual beneficial to go for the abortion).

There's always a bright side to any problem...

[Cognac]

Time will cure the pain and the love between both of you will reach a more mature stage

There's always a bright side to any problem...

Hey bro, sorry to hear about your wife. I can imagine those tough times you guys went thru. Btw I hear stories of such cases being that the woman's health is not good enuff. Dunno if you believe in TCM, but it actually does betters a woman's health in prep for her to better conceive. I got frens who did that wif success. If u need contact juz let me know ya.

Thanks for the advice though. Guess I'll handle it wif care.

[Soul Reaver]

Never ever go for abortion unless really necessary.

It drain the female both mentally & phsically. :(

[jnlover]

Hey bro, sorry to hear about your wife. I can imagine those tough times you guys went thru. Btw I hear stories of such cases being that the woman's health is not good enuff. Dunno if you believe in TCM, but it actually does betters a woman's health in prep for her to better conceive. I got frens who did that wif success. If u need contact juz let me know ya.

Thanks for the advice though. Guess I'll handle it wif care.


Hi bro, thanks for the TCM recommendation... it's healing power is well proven both for nurturing during and after pregnancy. The positive side is that we still have a wonderful daughter... so the miscarriage, although painful is still bearable.

As another bro had highlighted, abortion is the last resort...

Do take care.

[dethknight]

I agree that abortion take a lot out of a woman. Its the same as having a baby. So after abortion important to eat some yao cai to built up. Think average price about S$500. My sister who is married get it done at Glen Eagle Hospital.
My view on unmarrital pregnency is, if you are both not mentally prepare to have a baby, don't. Its will hurt the realtion more than having an arbortion. My point of view.

[Cognac]

Thanks lots both bro Jnlover & Dethknight. It's quite a trying time for me now, guess really have to make a sane decision before it gets too late to turn back.

Do agree with jnlover dat abortion's the last option, but like dethknight mentioned, I also agree that it'd hurt all parties more in the end if both parties aren't ready. Used to think nothing will happen since have been thru with many gals before, but accidents do happen.

Well thanks bros for all the kind advice. Appreciate it :)

[powerace]

my gf now also had an abortion b4...i am glad she came forth with it...but also sometimes i wished i din know...what do u guys think? will u let ur parents know that ur gf or wife to be actually had a abortion b4?

One thing is for sure...if u 2 end up together it's still ok..but if not together i think the gal will always have a thing in her head...everytime see a child or baby she will tink too much...and also every year when it was the month she aborted her baby or the baby's due date she will be veri moody....sigh so being a female is soooo tough....

[jemz]

i did an abortion before a few years back. physically, i was drained out. the pain (i woke up halfway during the operation, the pain was... can kill and the nurse gave me another dose of anaesthetic). emotionally, it was really really bad. i cried for a week after that thinking i killed my own kid but i know there's no way i can keep the child. my ex at that time wasn'ty irresponsible, we got the whole thing done and he stayed by me throughout. the r/s ended coz' of other reasons, not because of the abortion.

it did make a difference for me. not in terms of the r/s but how i valued life and when i look at other ppl kids, i think back and wonder that my child could have been now be 4yrs old already. my husband now knows abt my previous abortion and he's okay with it. everyone has a past right? and he takes extra care now that since i've done it before, i shouldnt do it again for fear of my health and perhaps the risk of infertility as we're not ready for a child yet.

and ya, after abortion definitely must stay with her for awhile. coz will feel damn damn weak and the trauma of the experience stays with her. the whole thing is still in my head also after so many years...

[bustymilk]

Going through an abortion is definately not easy to overcome emotionally for woman. It takes time and understanding from the other partner. Spend more time with her and show more love and care for her. Don't always cope up in the house which will result in depression from over thinking the incident. Try to take her out more often. As there always be babies and children around, you cannot avoid the issue. Tell her that its neither whose fault that to choose to go through abortion and the child might be already reborn into a more happy, complete family. Tell your partner, as a mother's instinct, even its only a few weeks old foetus, she will somehow know the sex of the child, maybe should give the child a name. It sounds silly but in that way, the child will always be remembered as a person in the heart. Most importantly, going thru an abortion is as good as giving birth, so make her more tonic and give iron tablets to replenish her lost blood.

Just my 2ct worth.

[flcult]

one should NEVER consider the thought of abortion unless it's due to rape or the existence of the foetus poses a danger for the mother.

abt 15yrs ago, i heard of a girl having an abortion but on the surface she didn't seem to give a damn. may her soul rest in peace cos she died from excessive blood loss arising from complications.

to the threadstarter: be a man, marry the girl and carry on. the girl doesn't deserve to undergo such trauma.

[dom01]

Abortion is the last resort.

A life is at stake, think carefully. A man got to be responsible for his own actions.

[facial]

Think of the even greater damage done to the child if the two of you do not get along and divorce. I feel the child is worst off this way. Just my view.

Need to consider a lot of factors to decide. I strongly suggest speaking to a professional councilor.

Call SOS for referal if require

[Cognac]

one should NEVER consider the thought of abortion unless it's due to rape or the existence of the foetus poses a danger for the mother.

abt 15yrs ago, i heard of a girl having an abortion but on the surface she didn't seem to give a damn. may her soul rest in peace cos she died from excessive blood loss arising from complications.

to the threadstarter: be a man, marry the girl and carry on. the girl doesn't deserve to undergo such trauma.

The need for an abortion does not solely arise within the myopic frame of reasons stemmed from what you've mentioned. Starting this thread was merely a means for me to understand better how couples got thru' the traumatic experiences.

I'm resolute to marrying, but sometimes things just do not go the way you wanted.

To each his own, people make the choice whether to go thru or not. Everyone's got varying opinions. That's why this is a forum to voice out different pt of views, but not to impose your thoughts on others. Thanks to the people who have Been There, Done That, and given constructive advice :)

[jemz]

Think of the even greater damage done to the child if the two of you do not get along and divorce. I feel the child is worst off this way. Just my view.

Need to consider a lot of factors to decide. I strongly suggest speaking to a professional councilor.

Call SOS for referal if require


agreed


i know some pro-life people are here..but standing in the practical point of view, maybe some of us are just not capable of having a baby at the moment.

there's a neither right nor wrong. it's a freedom of choice.

[sgpiggybank]

Hi all,

My wife just did an abortion 2 weeks ago and also put the ring to prevent pregnacy. Doc said that she will recover in 2 weeks time. But till now there is still come brown sticky stuff coming out and the smell is quite bad? Anyone have this experience before?

[hoho99]

Just to share an experience my wife had few months back...

There's always a bright side to any problem...

jnlover, as i mourn for you losses, i also salute u for being the man.
ur action really make us understand what makes men to be the stronger sex, and i sincerly hopes u will get another child soon.

[alf98]

Hi all,

My wife just did an abortion 2 weeks ago and also put the ring to prevent pregnacy. Doc said that she will recover in 2 weeks time. But till now there is still come brown sticky stuff coming out and the smell is quite bad? Anyone have this experience before?
Go and see the doctor again leh!!!! Maybe some infection going on!!!!

[jnlover]

jnlover, as i mourn for you losses, i also salute u for being the man.
ur action really make us understand what makes men to be the stronger sex, and i sincerly hopes u will get another child soon.


Hi bro hoho, thanks for the compliment and blessing... I reckon most (if not all hubbies) will do the same thing for their beloved partner.

We'll continue to try for a 2nd baby... but am not giving ourselves any pressure, let natural take it's course loh.

One point to note... most abortion will inevitably affects the chances of concieving in the future no matter how good is the gynae.

Bro sgpiggybank, sad to say but there's a high possibility that a infection taking place liao... go consult a doctor asap (as recommended by bro alf98).

[jemz]

Hi all,

My wife just did an abortion 2 weeks ago and also put the ring to prevent pregnacy. Doc said that she will recover in 2 weeks time. But till now there is still come brown sticky stuff coming out and the smell is quite bad? Anyone have this experience before?

hi bro.. i think it's high time you take your wife to a women's specialist. immediately. i did my abortion years ago but nothing like that happened.

[hoho99]

not giving ourselves any pressure, let natural take it's course loh.

Bro sgpiggybank, sad to say but there's a high possibility that a infection taking place liao... go consult a doctor asap (as recommended by bro alf98).


Haha, its good seeing u taking it well.

sgpiggybank, better take ur wife to the doc asap. Better be safe than sorry right.

[sgpiggybank]

Haha, its good seeing u taking it well.

sgpiggybank, better take ur wife to the doc asap. Better be safe than sorry right.


okok..I am calling up the woman doc specialist now.

[banana]

abortion is also devasting for a guy like me. i was sad and feeling guilty. feeling guilty may be bcos of my upbringing that abortion equal to murder. but on the other side of the world, abortion is throwing away the cigrette bud after a smoke.

but then after going thru a few abortion, i got used to it. i have recondition myself that it is nothing wrong and nothing to feel ashame of about abortion.

in this part of my world, we use the unborn to boil soup and drink, veri smoothing to your throat and claim to have anti-aging effect.

heartless, cold-blooded, sinner, etc... i may sound. get real man!... welcome to the real world.

[msnuzsurfer]

Just wanted to ask if any bros went thru this stage with their gfs? Think it's quite a traumatic experience but think I needed to know more, as in how your gal felt after the whole episode, and whether it affected the r/s between you 2.

Appreciate it if any bros can share. Thanks...

I cannot speak from experience (and in a way i am lucky I suppose), however my 2 cent's worth is this and I think a female poster earlier on shared her experience. It really depends on how the woman feels and this of course is highly variable. But you know something...she really won't appreciate what it feels like until it actually happens. Regret, pain, sorrow, sense of loss (and this is not only emotional but physical once the hormones of pregnancy stop being produced) and of course everytime she sees a child these emotions come flooding back...must be terrible. Then there are both of your religious beliefs. Many factors, and a very difficult decision. Your relationship has a high chance of failing as there will always be this guilt present and in times of trouble it will surface. Good luck to both of you!

[banana]

I cannot speak from experience (and in a way i am lucky I suppose), however my 2 cent's worth is this and I think a female poster earlier on shared her experience...

i agree w u.

but on the other side of the world, sad to know that, abortion is just a sickness. go see a doctor, get it done and get on w life. no big deal. sigh...

[msnuzsurfer]

Ah bro banana, although it appears to be no big deal, the aftermath is often devastating once the reality sinks in. One has to weigh everything up as carefully as possible but even then you cannot be prepared for what you will feel after the deed is done!

[banana]

Ah bro banana, although it appears to be no big deal, the aftermath is often devastating once the reality sinks in. One has to weigh everything up as carefully as possible but even then you cannot be prepared for what you will feel after the deed is done!

sad to see that some ppl treat abortion like drinking tea.

i gone thru the stage and is devasting for me. bit after a few rounds, u get use to it. u feel numb. no feeling anymore. sigh... :(

[msnuzsurfer]

sorry to hear that you have been through this as well bro banana (referring to the thread on STD/HIV) - you have indeed encountered a few testing experiences! Hope all's well with you now:D

[banana]

sorry to hear that you have been through this as well bro banana (referring to the thread on STD/HIV) - you have indeed encountered a few testing experiences! Hope all's well with you now:D


kind of feeling emotionally numb. emotionless when enounter such events. sigh!