Can you love someone & yet cheat on him/her?

[Jevv]

Jus for thoughts, is it even possible if you do love ur partner & yet able to cheat on him/her?
i can understand cases could be love the wife but sex is not fufilling, hence go for paid sex. But what about affairs? Relationships outside of marriage?

For myself, if I do love someone truly...cheating will b the last thing on my mind.

http://elitedaily.com/dating/if-you-cheat-you-dont-love/1177853/

[Atta]

Define what constitutes cheating to you? This is a term that many have come up with different interpretations. A simple answer would be: Yes, why not? Nothing is impossible nowadays.

[sweekee]

enough physical will lead to emotional. Once there is emotional attachment.. Very shag already. Confirm one party will have emotional attachment one.

[Jevv]

yes true in a way... probably many bros here will say... they're not cheating emotionally but only physically :p

cheating physically can understand, as i quoted earlier..could be love wife but cannot get sex at home hence go for paid sex. What about cheating emotionally?

[orangeproud]

To betrayed your loved one physically is not so sinful as betrayed her emotionally. Know some of them even after get married, in their heart & mind still can't forget his/her first love whom they can't tgt. Whenever quarrelled with their current spouse, they would say if knew like it, last time I shld marry my ex better.....she so much better than u.....blah...blah.....keep on comparing & complaining.

In their mind, their ex or first love are always the best, the most wonderful. Sad to say, wan wan de bu dao de shi zui hao de. They may physically beside u, but somehow u can sense that his/her soul is not with u, not emotionally attached with u.

If only can have his/her body, but not heart & soul, I rather be a loner.;):)

[NetRodent]

Faithful is one hard word with complex definition.

Defacto definition in relationship context for most men/women is: never having a sexual relationship with anyone else.

What if someone selfless with nice personality, and shower equally generously tender loving care and love to his/her lovers, does that meant no less faithful?

There is still some animal instinct in us, and may not submit to the contractual faithfulness.

[ilwtmlabnn]

it seems true that if you do love someone, it is rather impossible to cheat on him/her. however, i do think that things aren't just so simple. there is no universal equation of loving someone => not cheating on him/her.

at times there are distractions and temptations which require one to really exercise some thinking and self-control. there is bound to be some lust or greed in all, wanting to challenge going the extra and not get caught. and once you feel safe about it and your relationship with your loved ones is not compromised, the 'why not' mindset will set in.

no doubt that the loved one do serve as a reminder to not go off-track, but it still depends on individual, how morally upright he/she is and how dear he/she holds to value of commitment and faithfulness to.

[larue]

Reducing the viability of a relationship to sexual exclusivity is an incredibly stupid idea that human beings only dreamed up 100 years ago.

And I also believe it is possible to love more than one.

[Edyta]

bro... referring back to my post, i had agreed with the quote below. specific to your question, note the text in red... it really depends on the individual... what are their values? their concept on relationships? anything is possible :p

basically there's no right or wrong answer... just depends on who u ask. people are complicated :D

The couple must be on the same page with their version of relationship. If one desires 1 to 1 n the other doesn't, then there would be problem. I have seen happily open relationship too n both are happy with that arrangement. Personally i cannot. not so much the physical act of sex but more the intimacy. one man's meat another man's poison.

[HAHAH69]

I believe that there are many men/women cheating physically on their partners. For me, I absolutely love my gf. But then there's times when we use the wrong head to think. After the deed is done, guilt sets in. You then tell yourself you won't do it again, but it seems impossible doesn't it? Haha. We console ourselves by thinking that cheating physically is better than cheating emotionally. But in our hearts, we know its equally bad.

Just sharing my thought.

Cheers! :D

[sammyboyfor]

Love and sex are two totally separate entities so cheating is easy. :p

[mrclen]

Try to look at this question as perhaps most of the WG's do. But the short answer is "yes", we can. As women get older they become less and less interested in the sexual side of a relationship and more in the comfortable day to day interaction between a man and a woman. This not to say they become less interested in us, but the interest changes to a more emotional tie, kids, home, family, work, etc. However as a man ages, most normal males still "look" and have that "little head" interest. Of course, many men don't act upon these feelings but there are some of us that do. Do we call it cheating? How can you cheat on something that is not happening at home, or at least is not satisfactory. I don't think we really want the emotional tie with the WG as she is "working" and we are seeking a bit of physical comfort and release. It is a mutual thing--she works--we get a bit of the physical side that we may be missing at home. She goes her way and we go home to that comfortable man wife relationship.

Now, that all said (and there is lots more), a young man with a loving responsive wife should be getting all his needs filled at home. If this is not happening then there could be deeper problems or he shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

I am quite old and my wife, although somewhat younger than me, has no interest in the sexual side of our marriage and hasn't had for the last 10 years. For the first 25 years we had a satisfying healthy marriage in all aspects. Now what is left is the comfortable old age sort of relationship of two people who respect and care about each other. Do I love her any less--NO. Do I have some adventures outside--YES. But they are just sex and a bit of GFE and far enough away that they will never interfere with our happy marriage.

I do not call this cheating as that seems to say that you are doing something to hurt the other person and I would NEVER hurt her and love and respect her for the years she has given me and the many ways she shows her love for me. But the sexual part is still a need that requires occasional filling.

[hugs]

Try to look at this question as perhaps most of the WG's do. But the short answer is "yes", we can. As women get older they become less and less interested in the sexual side of a relationship and more in the comfortable day to day interaction between a man and a woman. This not to say they become less interested in us, but the interest changes to a more emotional tie, kids, home, family, work, etc. However as a man ages, most normal males still "look" and have that "little head" interest. Of course, many men don't act upon these feelings but there are some of us that do. Do we call it cheating? How can you cheat on something that is not happening at home, or at least is not satisfactory. I don't think we really want the emotional tie with the WG as she is "working" and we are seeking a bit of physical comfort and release. It is a mutual thing--she works--we get a bit of the physical side that we may be missing at home. She goes her way and we go home to that comfortable man wife relationship.

Now, that all said (and there is lots more), a young man with a loving responsive wife should be getting all his needs filled at home. If this is not happening then there could be deeper problems or he shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

I am quite old and my wife, although somewhat younger than me, has no interest in the sexual side of our marriage and hasn't had for the last 10 years. For the first 25 years we had a satisfying healthy marriage in all aspects. Now what is left is the comfortable old age sort of relationship of two people who respect and care about each other. Do I love her any less--NO. Do I have some adventures outside--YES. But they are just sex and a bit of GFE and far enough away that they will never interfere with our happy marriage.

I do not call this cheating as that seems to say that you are doing something to hurt the other person and I would NEVER hurt her and love and respect her for the years she has given me and the many ways she shows her love for me. But the sexual part is still a need that requires occasional filling.

Can she do the same with younger men and NEVER hurt you?

[hugs]

Cheating is easy and guilt free when love and sex are 2 separate entities. However, love and sex belong together in a relationship / marriage. Can you see it as 2 entities if your wife cheated on you with someone she claimed she had no feeling for? Especially if that happens after 25 years of a blissful marriage?

They say woman offers sex for love while man offers love for sex. Or that woman offers her body for his heart while man offers his heart for her body. Is the same as saying woman offers her physical for his emotion while man offers his emotion for her physical. If the woman has offer her body for her husband in order to receive his heart, how do you convinced her that you do not love other woman you had sex with? You are going to tell her that love and sex are not the same? She will ask you to prove it by continually loving her without having sex with her. Since you claimed love and sex are 2 entities and you vowed you won't love her less. Or you are going to say that when you took the other woman's body, you offer money and not heart? That money which could have spent on family holidays? She will demand that you better take her on 2 holidays every year. Because to a woman, money you spend on her represents how much you love her.

You see, a woman offers not only her body but also her beautiful youth and her whole life of devotion when she enters a marriage. Things that dont last. I mean both the beautiful young body and the devotion. In return she expected your heart and soul and MIND. Are you thinking of her everyday? She assumed you are. Just like you assumed she is devoted. But you broke that bubble when you were caught having sex outside marriage. Human lives on dreams and you shattered hers. The marriage might go on afterwards, but she will fake more than just her orgasm. She will either lie to you or to herself so she can continue to live in dream. Until she decided the way she will take to face reality.

So men who cheat, you are doomed to live a life full of guilts. You cannot expect yourself to be forgiven if your wife finds out. The nightmares will happen if she finds out. The marriage will be broken, even if it wasn't immediately. And she will become a stranger by your pillow at night once she caught you cheating.

[mrclen]

If there was sex at home most men would have no reason to roam, and by that I DON'T mean, "oh is it Saturday night again?, OK go ahead, just let me know when you are finished". In my case it is not at home --never for the last ten years! Just no interest and maybe it is me--men just don't know much when it comes to women. Believe me when I say I have tried all the routines, flowers, sexy music, romantic dinners, vacations for just the two of us, etc. Doesn't work! Leave me alone! Cheating to me (narrow definition) is sneaking around, telling lies, and playing where you could get caught, and if his needs can be satisfied at home, then that is cheating.

Why should a man subjugate his need for sex because her need is gone? Doesn't seem to make any sense. She has turned off her drive and we are expected to turn ours off also. We tend to give into the female most of the time anyway, whether it is the home we buy, the clothes we wear, the kids, where we go to dinner, the vacations we take, the car we buy, and the list will go on and on.

[Boinkboinkboink]

Can she do the same with younger men and NEVER hurt you?

Wow. So in your face one! :D

[Darrius]

Mrclen, I seldom post, but just wanted to let you know that I fully understand you and totally agree with you.

[ringo6668]

Love and sex are two totally separate entities so cheating is easy. :p

Haha that's a good answer bro.But this a question which women find it difficult to understand.But for men is very common to cheat their love ones even he loves her.Most cats will eat fish only some exceptional ones don't.:D

[GingerEm]

Yes. Try being stuck in a relationship where you can count the number of times you've had sex within the past year.

Case in point... When I first got together with her we were bonking like bunnies and having sex everywhere. Our second date was spent at Southern Most Island @ Sentosa where SHE fingered me to an orgasm for pete's sake.

8 months later, she claimed she's not feeling it... and slowly the sex tapers off to almost nothing. You still love each other, you are emotionally connected but somehow, somewhere the sex died together with a little part of you inside... How do you have sex with someone who treats sex as a chore?

My personal rules, I don't sleep with other women and I try to get my STD testing done regularly. Men are fair play. Forgive me if I sound embittered but I think everyone has their own reasons for "cheating".

[hugs]

Yes. Try being stuck in a relationship where you can count the number of times you've had sex within the past year.

Case in point... When I first got together with her we were bonking like bunnies and having sex everywhere. Our second date was spent at Southern Most Island @ Sentosa where SHE fingered me to an orgasm for pete's sake.

8 months later, she claimed she's not feeling it... and slowly the sex tapers off to almost nothing. You still love each other, you are emotionally connected but somehow, somewhere the sex died together with a little part of you inside... How do you have sex with someone who treats sex as a chore?

My personal rules, I don't sleep with other women and I try to get my STD testing done regularly. Men are fair play. Forgive me if I sound embittered but I think everyone has their own reasons for "cheating".

Share with you a personal secret recipe. 1. Find a partner who is extremely good looking in your eye. 2. That partner must also find you extremely good looking as well. 3. Must be willing to love you, proving in action (pleasing you sexually and supportive in your careers, cooks etc) and in words (sweet talks and encouragements). 4. You rely on her. In the end, whether together or apart, this relationship has been worth it.

[GingerEm]

Share with you a personal secret recipe. 1. Find a partner who is extremely good looking in your eye. 2. That partner must also find you extremely good looking as well. 3. Must be willing to love you, proving in action (pleasing you sexually and supportive in your careers, cooks etc) and in words (sweet talks and encouragements). 4. You rely on her. In the end, whether together or apart, this relationship has been worth it.

Everything is worth it except for the lack of sex portion. That's why I'm here. ;) I would like to get married with her some day though.

[hugs]

Everything is worth it except for the lack of sex portion. That's why I'm here. ;) I would like to get married with her some day though.

Aww so sweet! 人间有真爱! 祝福祝福! Wish you both a merry Xmas and a happy new year in advance! 😊