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ExaltedAngel
22-06-2015, 10:52 PM
Anybody here felt like a walking dead in your marriage?

Am currently feeling like one now. I am so sick of tired being the only party contributing to the family expense (kid insurance, school fee, housing, our own insurances etc) while my spouse just only care about buying her own things (mind you it is like at the range 900 to 1000)and expect me to pay more than 50%. Hardly ever contribute to the family.

Really sick of all these and feel like just walked out the house with my daughter. If it is not for my wish to let my daughter to have a complete family, I would already pursue a divorce. :(

IamZapped
22-06-2015, 11:06 PM
Relax. This is life.

Storm35
22-06-2015, 11:12 PM
Is your wife local? Foreign esp those from less developed countries women have very diff perception of husband/wife roles in the family

Splitter100
22-06-2015, 11:34 PM
Anybody here felt like a walking dead in your marriage?

Am currently feeling like one now. I am so sick of tired being the only party contributing to the family expense (kid insurance, school fee, housing, our own insurances etc) while my spouse just only care about buying her own things (mind you it is like at the range 900 to 1000)and expect me to pay more than 50%. Hardly ever contribute to the family.

Really sick of all these and feel like just walked out the house with my daughter. If it is not for my wish to let my daughter to have a complete family, I would already pursue a divorce. :(

Did you spoilt her too much during dating?
Now she expect more

powerpuffboi
22-06-2015, 11:49 PM
Bro, put it this way - while you feel that there is an inequitable burden of financial liabilities placed on you, has your spouse not contributed to the household in a non-financial way?

A family cannot exist solely on money; there needs to be financial contributions (pay bills, expenses, kid-related fees), as well as non-financial contributions (maintaining the household, cooking for the family, taking physical care of your kid). Does your spouse make an effort to sustain your family in her own way, albeit one that does not involve paying off regular liabilities?

I suppose that your spouse is working and earning her own income as well, hence you feel that she, being a household member, is required to pay for some of the family-related expenses as well. Still, if it is a communication issue, I would say do sit your spouse down and have a frank, in-depth discussion if you feel that you are unfairly burdened when it comes to financial contribution.

Disclaimer: Solely my views, hence please do feel free to disagree. I wish you all the best and hope that you will be able to work things out for the better. Your daughter deserves only the very best from the both of her parents. The negative consequences of divorce compounds over the years, and it is very often that kids are the one who end up directly or indirectly paying for their parents' choices.




Anybody here felt like a walking dead in your marriage?

Am currently feeling like one now. I am so sick of tired being the only party contributing to the family expense (kid insurance, school fee, housing, our own insurances etc) while my spouse just only care about buying her own things (mind you it is like at the range 900 to 1000)and expect me to pay more than 50%. Hardly ever contribute to the family.

Really sick of all these and feel like just walked out the house with my daughter. If it is not for my wish to let my daughter to have a complete family, I would already pursue a divorce. :(

ExaltedAngel
23-06-2015, 06:08 AM
Did you spoilt her too much during dating?
Now she expect more

I think so. Now she has the mindset that the everything revolves around her.

ExaltedAngel
23-06-2015, 06:18 AM
Bro, put it this way - while you feel that there is an inequitable burden of financial liabilities placed on you, has your spouse not contributed to the household in a non-financial way?

A family cannot exist solely on money; there needs to be financial contributions (pay bills, expenses, kid-related fees), as well as non-financial contributions (maintaining the household, cooking for the family, taking physical care of your kid). Does your spouse make an effort to sustain your family in her own way, albeit one that does not involve paying off regular liabilities?

I suppose that your spouse is working and earning her own income as well, hence you feel that she, being a household member, is required to pay for some of the family-related expenses as well. Still, if it is a communication issue, I would say do sit your spouse down and have a frank, in-depth discussion if you feel that you are unfairly burdened when it comes to financial contribution.

Disclaimer: Solely my views, hence please do feel free to disagree. I wish you all the best and hope that you will be able to work things out for the better. Your daughter deserves only the very best from the both of her parents. The negative consequences of divorce compounds over the years, and it is very often that kids are the one who end up directly or indirectly paying for their parents' choices.

Totally understood on the point of a marriage cannot exist just purely on financial terms.

The reason I felt so miserable is that she has effectively threw taking care of daughter to me. She doesn't cook for the family (staying with my parents for now), I am the one doing the housework. Educating my daughter is done on my side. She spend most of her time just using her phone to surf for vouchers, watch movie and play Candy crush while she let my daughter just messed around. That is her form of taking care my daughter. The only thing that can be done on her side is breast feeding.. understood this is tiring but got the feeling that if this can be done on my side, she will also want to push it to me.

Already spoken to her many times (clearly and hinting) but there is no sign of improvement. Really feel helpless now. She still dares to ask me what is wrong with me.

IamZapped
23-06-2015, 07:55 AM
I also pay everything.

Splitter100
23-06-2015, 08:16 AM
I think so. Now she has the mindset that the everything revolves around her.

Then right now, no choice
You have to suck thumb and keep on with it
Until a stage when you explode, quarrel and re-adjust expectations
I suppose it will then improve for a while before reverting back to norm again

fieryguy80
23-06-2015, 09:08 AM
Have you consider consulting a marriage counsellor?

Human is a strange creature. Some will never believe the closest kin, only choose to believe outsiders (not saying about extramarital affair). Some will just wishfully think that what they think is what the partner wants.

Though communication can avoid misunderstanding, ultimately is how the receiving party interpret. Sometimes the thing is easily understand and solved, but human tends to think too much, complicating the issue.

IamZapped
23-06-2015, 09:41 AM
Divorce is avoidance, not solution.

acidicavex
23-06-2015, 04:05 PM
When it come to money it the hardest to solve even counsellor also can't help.

As the chinese saying goes when it come to dollar and cent even the closet of kin will turn against each other.

Only way bro is suck it and continue living life and see open for your kid sake.

example i am always looking forward to my next pay cheque for relieve.:(

Some spouse just don't give a damn they never wonder and wonder......

The car can run if no petrol pump in?
The home got electrical supply if no one pay?
The internet can be use if no pay?
etc etc.

Obeliskseamus
23-06-2015, 07:15 PM
Just walk away. It will send her a shock and see how she react.

Never use the child as a reason to stick to the marriage. If you are not happy, it affects the child too.

IamZapped
23-06-2015, 10:02 PM
She also walk away then how? Who feed the child?

Babyrexx
24-06-2015, 02:50 AM
Just walk away. It will send her a shock and see how she react.

Never use the child as a reason to stick to the marriage. If you are not happy, it affects the child too.

It's simply irresponsible to walk away from a marriage without caring for its consequences. When couple felt in Love, they build a family n bore a kid. So when the Love fades away, they walk out of the marriage?
They should always remember the reason they felt in Love n try to fix the broken marriage together. If its really a case goner, then the two can make further plans. But at least talk it out before drastic measures are taken.
You can terminate your wedding vows, but the fruit the Two of U bore lives on.

Kukulkan
24-06-2015, 04:44 AM
Relax. This is life.

Haizz very true bro

IamZapped
24-06-2015, 10:43 AM
Thank you:)

Haizz very true bro