The woman you marry.. the one u love?

[assster]

I got married early this year. I knew that my wife was not the person I loved the most but she was the one that stuck with me when i was at my lowest point in life and now that I see some successes, I think she deserves to share them, which is the main reason why we got married. I thought that it would be good if i marry someone who loved me more than i loved them.. and she is someone that i see her as being a good mother for my future kids, and I wasn't getting any younger.. so we got married...

I was in a new company shortly before my wedding. I met a co-worker and we flirted hard, i even contemplated calling off the wedding because I had a feeling about her that i never felt with my wife but I thought it was just a stupid crush, a pre-wedding jitters and things would be ok after we got married. Besides, canceling the wedding, the EC we got etc would involved crazy costs, not to mention that wedding invites had been sent out etc and the 'loss of face' to my parents etc so I went ahead with the wedding...

Long story short, after my honeymoon, I came back to work, we both got drunk at a company event and ended up sleeping together. The sex in all honestly wasnt the best I ever had, yet the feelings we had for each other bonded much stronger after that. We met during work almost everyday and spend almost all our working hours together followed by dinner (sometimes with sex) before I head home to my wife. We started telling each other 'I love you' more than I ever did with my wife. I take care of my wife materially, but my heart went out to this co-worker of mine (lets just call her X)

X is your typical 'dragon lady' in the office. Strong, intelligent and beautiful, the kind of woman that young ladies aspire to be, and all man young and old would want to bed. It boosts my ego I suppose, to see that she choose me of all people hitting on her and she even show me msgs from other co-workers asking her out while she is in my arms or with my cock in her mouth.

My wife is your typical gal next day. Sweet, funny, and kind hearted. The one that you bring home to your mum, the one you know will be a great mother. She places me as priority over everything else and I know loves me more than anyone, and more than I could ever love her..

I am now at a loss. The more time I spend with X, the more i think I am sure she is the person I want to build my life with, yet I already have a life and wife that I cannot let down...

What should i do...?

[mortar]

Then what did X think about your situation? You are already married and does she expect you to divorce and go for her? I guess you should ask for her opinion too if she really love you.

My take will be, stick to your wife to prevent and chaos. You never know one day you won't love X so much and another Y come into play? The Y may be a guy who is going for your X also.

[HCKing]

1st of all u sure it's all love and not lust and short term romance?

u sure X will also go thru thick and thin with u?

[sammygirlgirl]

I got married early this year. I knew that my wife was not the person I loved the most but she was the one that stuck with me when i was at my lowest point in life and now that I see some successes, I think she deserves to share them, which is the main reason why we got married. I thought that it would be good if i marry someone who loved me more than i loved them.. and she is someone that i see her as being a good mother for my future kids, and I wasn't getting any younger.. so we got married...

I was in a new company shortly before my wedding. I met a co-worker and we flirted hard, i even contemplated calling off the wedding because I had a feeling about her that i never felt with my wife but I thought it was just a stupid crush, a pre-wedding jitters and things would be ok after we got married. Besides, canceling the wedding, the EC we got etc would involved crazy costs, not to mention that wedding invites had been sent out etc and the 'loss of face' to my parents etc so I went ahead with the wedding...

Long story short, after my honeymoon, I came back to work, we both got drunk at a company event and ended up sleeping together. The sex in all honestly wasnt the best I ever had, yet the feelings we had for each other bonded much stronger after that. We met during work almost everyday and spend almost all our working hours together followed by dinner (sometimes with sex) before I head home to my wife. We started telling each other 'I love you' more than I ever did with my wife. I take care of my wife materially, but my heart went out to this co-worker of mine (lets just call her X)

X is your typical 'dragon lady' in the office. Strong, intelligent and beautiful, the kind of woman that young ladies aspire to be, and all man young and old would want to bed. It boosts my ego I suppose, to see that she choose me of all people hitting on her and she even show me msgs from other co-workers asking her out while she is in my arms or with my cock in her mouth.

My wife is your typical gal next day. Sweet, funny, and kind hearted. The one that you bring home to your mum, the one you know will be a great mother. She places me as priority over everything else and I know loves me more than anyone, and more than I could ever love her..

I am now at a loss. The more time I spend with X, the more i think I am sure she is the person I want to build my life with, yet I already have a life and wife that I cannot let down...

What should i do...?

I would never let go of someone that always places me as priority

[fion.18]

I would never let go of someone that always places me as priority

Same sentiments for me. I like the way you put it! Being loved is always easier than loving someone :)
Oh cos we do hope the one we love and the person loving us is the same one but if well sometimes life is never perfect :)

To TS there's this 80/20 rule in a relationship. Most of the times the people we are with is 80% perfect for us. Someone new might come along and provide you with the missing 20. Of cos that missing 20% would be nice to have. But will you then choose the 20% and risk losing the 80 you already have? It's a gamble I would say. Too big a gamble for me.

[sadsky18]

ts , you are too flickle minded .

now u have x . supposing x get into your life ( you div with your wife ) , then w come into pic ?

div x and get with w ?

our life is full of this type of choice . you can *play* or flirt outside . but make sure end of the day , REMEMEBER to go home .

cos someone is waiting for u at home .

[conly]

What should i do...?

Agree wif d bros, u r fickle... Sort tat out 1st, ts.
Sharing a quote, hope u find some truth in it.

"Concentrate on wat u have, u'll be contented.
Concentrate on wat u don't, u'll be frustrated."

Wish u luck...

[Enzo]

"My wife is your typical gal next day. Sweet, funny, and kind hearted. The one that you bring home to your mum, the one you know will be a great mother. She places me as priority over everything else"

When I saw the above, especially the bold part, I think, give me your wife instead if you don't know how to cherish her.

What do you think is really going to happen if you end up with X?

You think the below is going to happen?
Divorce your wife -> be with X -> happily ever after with great love and sex

Let me tell you what is more likely going to happen.
Divorce your wife -> be and live with X -> you start seeing her flaws over time and you start comparing and asking yourself how she pales in comparison to your ex-wife -> quarrels begin -> ends in disaster for you leaving you with either misery or absolutely nothing left.

[Jeremy Chiang]

You are an adulterer; period.. ..

Please don't hurt your wife.. .. You made a commitment already. If before you are married, I will say do what your heart tells you.

But you are hooked now so repent la..

Lagi worse, you got kids then how?

[sianz123]

your wife deserves better
if you don't love her, don't marry her
if you marry her, don't hurt her

[KohOnly21]

your wife deserves better
if you don't love her, don't marry her
if you marry her, don't hurt her

nice phasw

[Subaru75]

Bro ,wat your eye and heart feel may not be the truth or best decision that u will made .and this kind of relationship is thrill and that why u feel in this way now.seriously u nv stay with her together and u will not be able to suit into her lifestyle .ya I understand at this moment dam (song) but I been through this .process is painful and u will loss everything u own now .are u prepare for it.trust me stay put and stay away from Ms X .u will be better off with all the thing and life u r leading now

[newyorker88]

I got married early this year. I knew that my wife was not the person I loved the most but she was the one that stuck with me when i was at my lowest point in life and now that I see some successes, I think she deserves to share them, which is the main reason why we got married....?

A quick affair is just a moment of fun. Since your wife went thru with you the lowest of your life, will this X lady do?

Many brothers share the same views as I do. Wise up. Sex can be fun, but it does not last as much as someone who goes thru thick and thin for you.

Just open your eyes big n wide, she may be doing the same thing to others as well. Knowing you are married and she still want to play around, you think she will not do the same again if you divorce and marry her?

[wahlau_7]

It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYVxOjG2nvw

[The Stalker]

sounds like a thread that jwny started.... the one u marry is not the one u love the most

[Yardstick]

TS, ask yourself... Is it a fling? If it is a fling, do you think it will last if you get together? Remember, you yourself said that she is the dragon lady in office. A dragon lady is someone who have very high expectations of things in life. Do you think you can cope with that sort of lifestyle where you wake up every morning to the expectations of the person sleeping next to you? Or do you prefer to wake up to the person who loves you for what and who you are?

[arsenal_84]

I would never let go of someone that always places me as priority

same thoughts as well.
is easy to fall out of love but is not easy to find someone who stick with you to hell and back.
TS already bloody well know that his wife is a keeper before getting married.

[steelhorn]

You are not alone. We men are always stuck with such situation. Sigh..迟来的春天。Remember bro, your wife is someone who stood by you when you were down and out. Probably dragged you out from hell. For this, I would swear by the oath..'til death do us part'

[LeDivorcee]

Honest opinion for a guy who been there done that...

Your wife sounds like a gem... cherish her...

Having said that... you can still get your rocks off but keep it outside. Clean your mouth before you go home. Most importantly... always go home!!

[Edisonchan]

TS....

You should marry the one that walk the rocky path with you hand in hand, no complain and supporting u..... Love & spark will die off as time flow, family tie is the long lasting feeling u have to cherish and hold on to.....

Im lucky to find a very good lady to be my wife now, the last run away with a sporty guy and leave me with a broken heart & 60k loan. But my current wife stay with me knowing my condition and we bite our teeth and pay off everything together......

In short, u may not be as lucky as me...... Screw outside is fine, have FB is fine but always treat the woman waiting for u at home the best as she will be the one growing old with u...... We call them FB bcos it is only used for "FXXX", try not to get emotional with them as when woman change face they are more ruthless than man.....

[zerofighter]

TS, ask yourself... Is it a fling? If it is a fling, do you think it will last if you get together? Remember, you yourself said that she is the dragon lady in office. A dragon lady is someone who have very high expectations of things in life. Do you think you can cope with that sort of lifestyle where you wake up every morning to the expectations of the person sleeping next to you? Or do you prefer to wake up to the person who loves you for what and who you are?

Bro... pls reflect over this statement... indeed how true is it... some points to add on.... u r married for less than a year and u r already nt in a stage to commit in this marriage... Pls do something to change yr mindset....

Trust me... after some time... once the sparks is over... u will know that X is nt someone great either... but do learn to cherish yr wife who have went through thick and thin with u... is it fair to her by straying... u shd be ashamed of yrself for doing that to her.... instead of loving her... u start to have thoughts abt other women.... is that how u repay her love?...

All of us need to be responsible for our own actions.... Do think twice before u act next time... if nt it is will never be a ending cycle... u will end up facing the same issue/temptations every now and then.....

God bless u and yr family.

[sbfblack]

I got married early this year. I knew that my wife was not the person I loved the most but she was the one that stuck with me when i was at my lowest point in life and now that I see some successes, I think she deserves to share them, which is the main reason why we got married. I thought that it would be good if i marry someone who loved me more than i loved them.. and she is someone that i see her as being a good mother for my future kids, and I wasn't getting any younger.. so we got married.

Long story short, after my honeymoon, I came back to work, we both got drunk at a company event and ended up sleeping together. The sex in all honestly wasnt the best I ever had, yet the feelings we had for each other bonded much stronger after that. We met during work almost everyday and spend almost all our working hours together followed by dinner (sometimes with sex) before I head home to my wife. We started telling each other 'I love you' more than I ever did with my wife. I take care of my wife materially, but my heart went out to this co-worker of mine (lets just call her X)

X is your typical 'dragon lady' in the office. Strong, intelligent and beautiful, the kind of woman that young ladies aspire to be, and all man young and old would want to bed. It boosts my ego I suppose, to see that she choose me of all people hitting on her and she even show me msgs from other co-workers asking her out while she is in my arms or with my cock in her mouth.

My wife is your typical gal next day. Sweet, funny, and kind hearted. The one that you bring home to your mum, the one you know will be a great mother. She places me as priority over everything else and I know loves me more than anyone, and more than I could ever love her..

I am now at a loss. The more time I spend with X, the more i think I am sure she is the person I want to build my life with, yet I already have a life and wife that I cannot let down...

What should i do...?

haaha similar case as me. i choose wife over love because wife willingly suffer for me without complaining.

but mine was a planned affair as i decided to cheat because i wanted sex. bro, snap yourself out of it if you done fucking. many guys failed (including samster) is that they think they can easily overcome and ditch the affair.

during my affair, i met a couple of colleagues, friends during the dates. i tell you, if you met your enemy, sure kana one. rumours will spread like wildfire even if your affair willing to keep secret.

there is so much traps ahead, although the rewards hard awesome, but you only have a life-line.

same as gamble, quit when you are still winning.
make sure mouth is wiped after eating and...
keep a threatening key card in case affair wants to blackmail you.

want to cheat, please be smarter.

[guywonder]

stick to ur wife...

[p00t]

It is a good move that, TS seek advises.

Deep down, conscience & logic are pushing TS to seek advise. However, this are not something that we can ask openly among friends / family. We are living among a lot of self righteous people who are critical & share loads of moral values yet nothing on solution & how TS is feeling.

Why is that so? Because no actual experience, theory only. A good Chinese idiom call it 纸上谈兵. In theory, marriage should be this, should be that....

Only a person who truly cares will offer solutions, perspectives or comfort. Not judgment or high moral values.

I hope all parties will be well & happy. Treat everybody sincerely & be appreciative because nothing is forever, seize the moment :)

[cocky1234]

I would never let go of someone that always places me as priority

Well said.. I will never do that also. Knowing that a girl loves me withh all her heart and I will cherish her. Suggest TS end the relationship with co-worker before things get worse and ruined your marriage and lost the most expensive gems you ever had (which is your wife)

[assster]

Thanks all for your advice.

Like what many of you said, my head is telling me to be faithful to my wife and she was the one that had stood by me all these years.

My heart on the other hand is playing the fool with me. Everytime i meet up with X, i just want to hold her and the thought of ending things just went out of the window. And to answer the questions of some brothers here, i am not just in it for the sex. In fact, like i mentioned, the sex wasnt great, we probably do it less than once a month, most time was spent just talking and cuddling... so i can be quite sure you can say it isnt lust...

[wahlau_7]

Maybe this one is more appropriate to describe your true feelings. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Z_ZpcUmDjk&list=RD9Z_ZpcUmDjk#t=0

[ciwilover]

i feel u bro... i gt a similar story. my wife well wasnt really woman i love most. in fact my previous girl fren who is i loved the most. i cheated on her, who the person is my wife now. often night when i sleep i still call out her name n dreamt of her even after 5 years alrdy. but like u my wife was with me in the lowest of my life, so the conclusion is u can get everything u want in life. just suck thumb n choose the one that will go thru shit with u. bcos she is the one so, apprenciate her & stop looking ard n ruin yourself. u can fuck ard but always know whr yr place is. never lose yrself. like me i love fucking ard n i really do :D:D

[bigthree]

I would never let go of someone that always places me as priority

I totally agree with this.. is u had read my stories about my sexventures in Pinoy Land.. I'm an asshole here but when I'm in Sillypore.. I'm a doting husband and a loving father..

Bro.. u just need to switch your mind around whenever u are with X or wife.. play it safe n not play with fire..!!

[caoputt]

Lots of brothers with good advice in this thread, suggest TS to really not make the wrong call. I'm in no position to give you advice, I've never been in a similar situation, all I can do is throw in my 2 cents.

In the end life is always about compromise, you won't always be able to get what you want, why not settle for the next best thing?

[MaraGuru]

So whose fault?

You too greedy, needs 2 pussy & 2 mouth to satisfy your cock. I believed that you know the answer yourself, so don't find excuse. You love money more than your wife & your so called gf?. If your current gf, give you a sum to dump your wife, you will do it. But putting it the other way, if your gf keeps asking u for money you will dump too.

Again, thinking who went thru the most difficult time with you. Did you wife ask you to marry her? You felt in debt to her, thats why u married her?

[NightVision]

play it safe n not play with fire..!!

Very well said

[UselessWood]

Very well said

Well said indeed
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