A story for all to self reflect.

[nine9nine]

I read this story from my email last year, my throat was stuck with ...(dunno how to say..). I read this story again today while clearing away old mails, that feeling come again. I hope can save some conscience of some brothers here, its not meant to dig at you all, pls appreciate my intentions.

I believe some may have read it before, but it really does'nt hurt to spend 5 mins more to read it once more, its my fave story.




>On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped
> in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out
> of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then
> plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
>
> This was the scene of ten years ago.
>
> The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid,
> I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
> steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a
> civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost
> at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
>
> Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
> more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
>
> Dew came into my life.
>
> It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
> behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was
> the apartment I bought for her.
>
> Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her
> words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife
> said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
> Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my
> wife. But I couldn t help doing so.
>
> I moved Dew s hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture,
> O.K.? I ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was
> unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the
> moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used
> to be something impossible to me.
>
> However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter
> how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly,
> she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was
> sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched
> TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew s
> body. This was the means of my entertainment.
>
> One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what
> will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
> Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from
> her. I couldn t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was
> serious.
>
> When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the
> staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide
> something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She
> gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
>
> Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live
> together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.


==================== to be continued ==============

[nine9nine]

> When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I ve got something
> to tell you, I said.
>
> She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
> Suddenly I didn t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
> what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly.
>
> She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
> softly, why? . I m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called
> answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at
> me, you are not a man!
>
> At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
> wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
> give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
>
> With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
> that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
> glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.
> The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

> Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected
> to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of
> divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and
> clearer.

> A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her
> writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I
> found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

> She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn t want anything from me,
> but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in
> the month s time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was
> simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she
> didn t want him to see our marriage was broken.
>
> She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do
> you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?
> This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
> I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms , she
> continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your
> arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you
> must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
>
> I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished
> to end her marriage with a romantic form.
>
> I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
> thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face
> the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made
> me feel uncomfortable.
>
> My wife and I hadn t had any body contact since my divorce intention was
> explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when
> I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
> clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought
> me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the
> door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes
> and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded,
> feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to
> wait for bus, I drove to office.
>
> On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
> chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
> I realized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a
> long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine
> wrinkles on her face.
>
> On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being
> demolished. Be careful when you pass there.
>
> On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were
> still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The
> visualization of Dew became vaguer.
>
> On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,
> where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.
> I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
>
> I didn t tell Dew about this.
>
> I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
> stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.
>
> She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried
> quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my
> dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was
> because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because
> I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.
> Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to
> touch her head.
>
> Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said.
> To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential
> part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him
> tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at
> the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
> through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck
> softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our
> wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
>
> On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
> Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me
> in your arms until we are old.
>
> I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn t notice that our life
> was lack of such intimacy.
>
> I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid
> any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew
> opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I m
> serious.
>
> She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no
> fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can
> only say sorry to you, I won t divorce. My marriage life was boring
> probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not because
> we didn t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I
> carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to
> hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.
>
> Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
> the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the
> office.
>
> When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my
> wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the
> greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I ll carry you out every
> morning until we are old.


================ :o =================================

[The_Unrepentant]

U like this kind of story huh? If u can understand chinese, u can read up Liu yong's book on ai bu yan zha. :)

[kerw]

touching story!!!

[LFCA]

a story for us to ponder

[tata51]

steady la nine9nine!

i hope n wish u eternal bliss, from e bottom of my heart. as long as yr family s blissful, yr business ll ve better results n prosperity!

once again, cheers!

[WatLoveAbt]

A very touching and sentimental story...
But look at the society now,
haiz, how many people are able to be faithfully to their spouse till death.
Life itself is already so short, yet we don treausre wat we have...
Relationship are so fragile, hard to make one believe in marriage...
Don say we guy are flirt, woman nowaday are also the same...

[brokenunderwear]

heh bro nine9nine....
that was a very nice and touched story..........
but i think there are alot of guys out there who really dont really treasure their wife. hope this story really touched their heart!

I will learn from that story, and hope i can carry my wife into the bedroom till we are old :) And she is the 1 and the only 1 i will carry!!

[sg_boytoy]

Bro nine9nine, thanks :)

[Sorin^^]

A very nice and touching story. A good ending for the marriage. Many thoughts ran across the mind man.

Thanx Bro.:)

[raceguysg]

a story with a moral behind it.....:D :D

[KingBong]

Romantic. Like the part about her feeling lighter....or him being stronger?

[MMM88]

Bro...tkns for the story ...its makes me cherish my family more....okie...will cheong lesser ....tkns...;)

[velvetghost]

very touching story...really made me ponder n re-evaluate myself as a person...:o

thanks bro...

[ttttttt]

Life is indeed Beautiful

[Brother...Bob]

Bros Nine9nine...

Thanks for your story ...... slight tear flew down my eyes after reading your story ... remind me or i should say all of us the SBF bros ......

please remember to go home. Someone who is always waiting is there for you ........

Thank you again .... Brother Nine9nine.

Brother...Bob:)

[Spursgetz]

hmm...really touching story...i remember reading it quite sometime back.

Tonight die die must go home to spend some quality time with my wife, and give her my full attention......:o

[hubber26]

Very memorable story to myself personally. I once almost step out of circle of marriage due to unexpected turn of event by ME solely. Slowly, we build up our relationship again.

What to do? Pay for sex, fuck and forget will be our men pastime (married men especially).

[hunter89]

Bro...tkns for the story ...its makes me cherish my family more....okie...will cheong lesser ....tkns...;)

Bro MMM88, you sure you will cheong lesser??? :D

[DOM1]

Bro...tkns for the story ...its makes me cherish my family more....okie...will cheong lesser ....tkns...

Bro MMM88,
I remember you are a member of RSC!!! You forgot our anthem??? :mad:
Here's THAT jingle:

(Sing the following to the tune of "When you're happy then you know you clap your hand" and use you hand!)

When you're itchy and you know you PCC, *jerk!* *jerk!*
When you're itchy and you know you PCC. *jerk!* *jerk!*
Don't put your wife and kids at risk,
Give them love not HIV,
When you're itchy and you know you PCC! *jerk!* *jerk!*
Please do the above a few more time until the itch subside. Of course, you must look for the nearest toilet to conduct this activity, otherwise, you'll avoid STD & HIV, but end up in Changi............not village!!! but prison!

DOM1

ps: I'll report you to Bro Eastpiper, the CEO of RSC.

[MMM88]

Bro MMM88,
I remember you are a member of RSC!!! You forgot our anthem???
Here's THAT jingle:

(Sing the following to the tune of "When you're happy then you know you clap your hand" and use you hand!)

[

DOMY Boy......glad tat u r bk......miss u ley.....
RCS.....i tink oredi disbanded liao......haiiiiiiiii:(
So sad......:p

[nicodemuz]

Tonight die die must go home to spend some quality time with my wife, and give her my full attention......:o

Most oftenly, the wife just want their husband to be around even though the wives are busy with their house chores or office work at home...
I heard this from one of my friend...

Nevertheless, nice touching story... really touch my heart..:)

[DOM1]

DOMY Boy......glad tat u r bk......miss u ley.....
RCS.....i tink oredi disbanded liao......haiiiiiiiii:(
So sad......:p

Bro,
What happened to our WTF136?? Does abang and CO still come here?
DOM the clown

[MMM88]

Bro,
What happened to our WTF136?? Does abang and CO still come here?
DOM the clown

abang taufik becum famous liao.....busi gifing concert ......hehehehe:D
CO....aiyah....MIA ......mayb in some HCs in BKK.......
where is ur "stories" ....still waiting ....:mad:

[blackeagle10]

I share your sentiments. For one, I gave up a good job here, travel 2000 miles south and pursue my girlfriend(now my wife). Eventually won her over due to my persistence. Agree that succesful man inevitably draw the wrong type of attention, almost step out of bounds with an attractive banker here.

Hard to give up what you have fought so hard for, i remain happily married with our little ones till now.

Cheers to yr story.

[Shuang_Jie_Gun]

very touching story..haiz..all the memories are slowly coming back..

[blackeagle10]

Thank you for the story. Got to reflect on my own relationship with my CO. Woa! married for 10 years liao and glad I did not jeopardise my marriage though there were many temptations...

[InnocentBaby]

a very nice touching story i've read... thanks for posting at here, and I'm glad to read it. Thanks alot. Take care bro

[blackeagle10]

Thanks for the story....

[coolfire69]

A heart-wrenching story which i read a long while ago...

tears seem to almost well up in my eyes everytime i read it...

Sometimes, it's jus those trivial & little details which strengthens the bond in a marriage...

Cherish your wives, all bros out there...

[CNNcmg]

Thanks for the story and the reminder...
That we tends not to cherish what we had and yearn for what we do not have..

[Sinfulman]

Thanks bro for the touching story.....


To all Cheong Bro..... You can cheong all you want, but remember at the end of the day return home!!!


Sinfulman

[tamtam]

Hi Bro,

I have not posted anything here,but after reading these thread,i feel that i should share with all of you that are having a rocking marraige.

I don't know if any of you are having what kind of relation problem,but mine is sex related issue with my wife.....

It started off from a courtship of 9 years and due to strict family up bringing,i was taught not to deflower any gals if i m not serious with them (MOM's idea).So before marraige,i had a fair share of gals but had not bedded them,so this gal came into my life(now my wife),and i found her to be the one that i would like to spend my life with.....

To cut the story short,after marraige,we got 2 kids,and our sex life took a dive,it is so routine,same place,same time,same position,same same same ,....
It reach a point where we can't even finished a dozen boxed of condom in a year,this is terrible....
And all these while i resort to masterbation to relieve myself,never call chicken or steal eat,because i was too scared that i might bring home STD s to my family.So this thing carried on for about 8 years with very little sex,and she is always too tired due to her job and deadline.

Then my business was so badly affected due to the asian finanical crisis,and had to change line,came to know these group of new kaki's and they always had tons of prc's gals with them,they don't pimp but like to pass their contacts around and had fun with them,later discuss over coffee,hehehe...
So naturally i too get to know this prc gal,this one is so special that non of my friends are able to bed her,so thru time ,she knew i'm not the cheong type and became very good friend,and we are able to talk about anything under the sun,feeling for both of us grew and we really like each other alot,she is a student here and we got to meet everyday,after my work till about midnight....and these goes on for about 3 months till she found out about my sexual problems with my wife.By then we had already been very intimate but still not had sex,and she told me she is willing to make love to me if i needed it,i was taken aback with mixed feeling,one one side is very excited and happy about it ,the other being guilty for my family.

I reached a point where i could'nt take it any longer masterbating myself,so i got involved with her seriously and make love very frequent,make me feel that when i was younger and stronger,it was a feeling totally out of this world compare with the past dull life i had. Sorry i had to cut out the juicy part of the story as i wanted those bro who are going thru the same problem will ponder again not to take too drastic steps recklessly.

Soon my wife sixth sense tells her somethings is amiss,and she confronted me,at first i deny everything and finally thru time i was caught big time.This time i chose to face the problem and pour out all the resentment i had to her,and also asked for divoice,she was shattered,but i could'nt care anymore,as i was so involved and happy with the other gal,i even almost gave up my family including my children.

I even digested the whole topic regarding divoice here in SBF and made up my mind going thru it.

My wife tried all ways to talked me out,both the hard and the soft ways,she had used all that she is able to,but i stand firm on leaving her.There was a few occasion i spent the night out,and soon grew more and more often.

By chance, i met one of my old school mate,and share the story with him,he too had been divoice for years,being married early,he got a daughter that are already in the late teens,and he help me analyise my problems,we found out all these while,it just the sex issue,deep down inside i still loved my wife,but due to the lack of intimacy,our relationship got drifted these far,almost to the point of no return.

As for my friend, he told me it's payback time,for what he had chosen the wrong decision,now he is so worried about his daughter's life and does'nt know where she is! her ex wife remarrys and the daughter chose to stay out from her mom.He told me if i choose the wrong decision,i might go thru the same path as him in the future,children will suffers.

I was then so confused and spent countless night drinking,don't know what to choose,not willing to give up the wonderful sex life i had now with the prc and the other side those guilty feelings for my family.

Then i open up to my wife about my discontentment,and slowing we feel that things did got improve not the sex side but all these while both of us did'nt get a good chance to communicate.She then realised my greatest problem,and make every effort to salvage it. She grew from a person whom will not allow fingering her CB to a hungry meat rod sucker,slurping every drop of my cum now.And she is game for everything i asked for,now we can even had quickies anywhere !!

Of course i give up the prc upon seeing my wife taking so much effort to save the marraige.

Here are some of the problems i ponders during my darkest periods.

1. Can i allow my children to call another man "daddy"
2.How will their life be? will they be molested by their stepfather in the future?
3.Can i cope with the maintanance fee for them after divoice?
4.Can i openly treat the prc as my next wife here in s'pore,the kind of stares people gave you in the public.
5.Get the prc a house back in china and live there? you must be crazy...
6.will the prc fuck behind your back? you never knows....
7.The only thing she can offer at the moment is good sex,don't expect her to share your problems,not that they are not willing,but due to different cultural background,views will be very different.
8.Will i be able to live thru the guilt in me?
9.Deep down inside,do you still love your wife n family?
10....
11....
.....

I'm not asking you bro not to do it,but try to give yourself ample time to resolve problem....if both still love each other deep inside,it's easier.

Now my wife CB is always TamTam (wet),that's why i chose this nick,hehe

Hope things works out smooth for those trouble bro out here.

Best regards

[papasan_688]

great stuff for self reflection. In our fast pace of life, details like these are being taken for granted...Well written Bro, great contribution!:)

[dalps]

Hi Nine9Nine and TamTam,

Tks for the story and advice.....very very true....We man very often just think wif the wrong head!!!

Very gd of u both to share your experiences, furthermore right here in SBF. (gd to know nice things do happen too inspite of ours being too horny).

End of it all, always always rembr think of the wife and esp our innocent children!


Cheong but stay safe n sane!!!!!!

[enzer88]

There is an old saying ' Drink the milk but never bring the cow back home'.Follow this saying,u still can maintain ur gd hubby status and enjoy ur eating outside without any party hurt.

[elvee123]

i feel think that the times are different.. man although fools around, they are definitely much much 多情 + 痴情 comparable to woman.. should it be the opposite round.. i think most prob that's it ...

A very touching story, hope that you have really made the correct decision and nvr to regret it. All the best in the future for ur career and family =)

Cheers

[tittyhawk]

After reading so many bro's story esp on married bros', just want to pen down my own sentiments.

We lived in a world full of temptation, whether we can resist and move on is an art, whether we can distinguish what is right and what is wrong is a task, whether to mix real feelings with physical needs is a chore and whether to clearly define our position on certain things is a damn blury line.

I too share a fair amount of flings but it's damn hard to resist.

Maybe after been marrying for so long, we long for the courtship feeling, the process, rather than the end result.

:)

[Licky88]

Hi TamTam;

That is a good eye opener! Having similar prob like u. Enjoy your sex life.

[WazAGuy]

Does it mean we can go out and have fun, and never be serious ????:rolleyes:

[PASSIONAETE04]

[QUOTE=tamtam]Hi Bro,

I have not posted anything here,but after reading these thread,i feel that i should share with all of you that are having a rocking marraige.

I don't know if any of you are having what kind of relation problem,but mine is sex related issue with my wife.....

save the marraige.

Here are some of the problems i ponders during my darkest periods.

1. Can i allow my children to call another man "daddy"
2.How will their life be? will they be molested by their stepfather in the future?
3.Can i cope with the maintanance fee for them after divoice?
4.Can i openly treat the prc as my next wife here in s'pore,the kind of stares people gave you in the public.
5.Get the prc a house back in china and live there? you must be crazy...
6.will the prc fuck behind your back? you never knows....
7.The only thing she can offer at the moment is good sex,don't expect her to share your problems,not that they are not willing,but due to different cultural background,views will be very different.
8.Will i be able to live thru the guilt in me?
9.Deep down inside,do you still love your wife n family?
10....
11....
.....


Bros,
Apparently sexual relationship is still the main issue for married couples to get along well.

[jamez]

A heart-wrenching story which i read a long while ago...
tears seem to almost well up in my eyes everytime i read it...
Sometimes, it's jus those trivial & little details which strengthens the bond in a marriage...
Cherish your wives, all bros out there...

!!!!!YES!!!!!YES!!!!!YES!!!!!I second that!!!!! :D

[jackylee]

really very very meaningful story..... ;)..this is the type of love story that would move guys' heart...

I guess afterall.. we guys.. are not cold blooded at all like what some girls deem us as :)

[PuTonRen]

I read this story from my email last year, my throat was stuck with ...(dunno how to say..). I read this story again today while clearing away old mails, that feeling come again. I hope can save some conscience of some brothers here, its not meant to dig at you all, pls appreciate my intentions.



Bro Nine9Nine,

A touching story indeed. It serves as a warning and a good piece of advice for brothers in this forum. I believe, a wife who loves you and looks after your family is working hard to keep the family together without asking for rewards, except your love. Cherish your wife, not while you can, but always!

As an old man in this forum, a smiliar situation nearly occured to me not so long ago. The affair could have ended up in disarray for my family and love ones. Fortunately, with blessings from everywhere and supports from friends and brothers of this forum, I am now back to my normal self. The story that you have posted further strengthens my moral stand in always putting my family before anything.

Cherish your wife and kids, these are the only people who would shower you with true love without any evil intention.

Thank you once again for the touching story. I believe that anyone on the edge should read this and hopefully will be back to his normal self, like I do.

May I seize this opportunity to wish all brothers and their families a
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Simple Man returns to his Normal Self! Thanks to all brothers who have helped me.;)

[plumshirt]

Good Story - plumshirt

I sense interplay of 2 critical elements:
Without Intimacy, Commitment can be a burden - for the guy
Without Commitment, Intimacy can be threatened. - for the gal

Notes:
Old saying goes, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Yet now, do you
carry her in your heart?
怀念 (ie 4 characters - today, heart, mind, her bosom)

[antlau]

Just always think of your wife as the most beautiful woman in the world, the goddess that is the one and only you worship...

During courtship, man always cherish the girl as though she is a goddess, but why always after marriage, treat her like a maid?

Has the feelings diminished? or just being blocked by the pressures of life, i.e. working stress and society values? cos during courtship (probably both being still young), the couple won't feel the pressures of life yet...thus still don't know the huge pressures of commitment and the temptations lying in the social world...

Always constantly think to oneself, you have gotten the best thing in life, why bother to find another inferior product? :D

Regards

[vesfreq]

We are searching for something, at one point in time or another. Sometimes, whatever we have been searching for is just right in the house.

I recall talking to one guy who almost died in a car accident. He said that ever since the accident he would always go home feeling glad that everyone back there is safe. This may be different for everyone, but its true that knowing ur family is safe and sound is more comforting than anything else.

[hottuna1972]

Hi bro nine9nie,

Thank you for such a touching story and maybe we should all start to reflect on ourselves with regards to our married life.