What is your married relationship like?

[Flinger2]

Hi,

Anyone care to share what your married relationship is like ?

1 Partnership - Do both consider each other partners and support each other and the responsibilities ? equal ownership in financial commitment + house work. Both of come together negotiate on what you want and come to mutual agreement.

2 Breadwinner by choice - You do not want your wife to work and she gets everything from you . You are the final say in the house although your wife gets to voice her opinion but you make the decision. All financial decisions are made by you . All housework is done by your wife . You might get her a maid to help her but you won't touch a thing of house work. You expect her to cook and have meals ready by the time you are back, if not you get pissed. It is part of her duties.

3 Breadwinner not by Choice - Your wife does not want to work even though you don't have kids . She just wants to be a housewife and want you to take care of her and provide for her needs. All financial decisions is done by you and she is not interested, as long as you provide for her needs. You are expected to share the housework with her. She does not demand, but often indirectly reminds you how other people are going on holidays and both of you are not, how others are buying material things etc....etc....etc...

If you force her to work, she will get the easiest work and the money she earns will be for her spending.

4. Slave by Choice - You are her slave. You are at her back and call for everything. Your money is hers to spent and her money is for her to spend. You are the provider, if you don't provide , you will get wrath and she will question your manhood.

5. Slave not by Choice - After marriage, she changed and does not want o work anymore. She emotionally blackmails you into thinking that you are the man of the household and you need to provide for her well being. Well being equals to material things, from holidays to buying big house, car, expensive clothes etc....etc....

Please add if there are other types of relationships not added here.

Appreciate if you'll can share your experience or other people's experience you know off in the various types of relationship.

Do people still stay in these relationship or leave?

etc.....

[songbo88]

Mine will be 2

[maxsee]

Single woh...but choice No.1 seems like a good idea....:D:D:D

[sunhuan-con]

Be Single....unless your wife is very submissive type.

[Rythmik]

point 2 is asking for divorce :D
breadwinner means command and decide everything?
expect meal ready by the time you back?
just get a maid will do :rolleyes:
no respect for others is bringing trouble to yourself ....

[Flinger2]

That s what you think. But I know a lot of guys with marriage with this setup. They go looking for woman who are of this type so that they can have their way.... but after married they change a bit instead of 100% control they negotiation to 90% control and 10% wife.

Also, the woman in these type of relationship actually like it. They don't want to work, they just want to be housewife and everything taken care for them. They just want to cook and bake and clean the house and cater the husband whims as long as they get all the things they need.




point 2 is asking for divorce :D
breadwinner means command and decide everything?
expect meal ready by the time you back?
just get a maid will do :rolleyes:
no respect for others is bringing trouble to yourself ....

[James Porn]

X) Married only daughter and only child. Known her since childhood days. Went overseas and studied same uni, different course and fees, accommodation and food paid by her family. Graduated from Uni, came back to work for her family business. She stays home while I assist with the business. Travel and entertain with father and my brother in laws (my sisters' husbands) but no hanky panky even at KTV. I am used to my life. Call me a slave?

[Flinger2]

A slave is someone who is doing something they don't like but no choice or against their will.

Do you like your lifestyle? Do you enjoy it? Are you happy and satisfied with it?

If you are , then you are not.

However, you feel you have no choice and now that you are married you will forever have to live this way, even though you don't like it, and every feeling and emotions with your wife and in laws is just fake ...then you are slave.

That's just my view point. =)

X) Married only daughter and only child. Known her since childhood days. Went overseas and studied same uni, different course and fees, accommodation and food paid by her family. Graduated from Uni, came back to work for her family business. She stays home while I assist with the business. Travel and entertain with father and brother in laws but no hanky panky even at KTV. I am used to my life. Call me a slave?

[James Porn]

A slave is someone who is doing something they don't like but no choice or against their will.

Do you like your lifestyle? Do you enjoy it? Are you happy and satisfied with it?

If you are , then you are not.

However, you feel you have no choice and now that you are married you will forever have to live this way, even though you don't like it, and every feeling and emotions with your wife and in laws is just fake ...then you are slave.

That's just my view point. =)

Thanks Bro, I concur with your point of view.

There will be times when my mind stray, can't help it cos we are still humans right? On a tipping scale, I would say I am pretty happy with my life and will continue to live this way. So far I have been given equal respect and pride in my place as a family member.

[Rythmik]

Be Single....unless your wife is very submissive type.

provided she is also happy staying that way .. else not fair to her

[bigbrudder]

X) Married only daughter and only child. Known her since childhood days. Went overseas and studied same uni, different course and fees, accommodation and food paid by her family. Graduated from Uni, came back to work for her family business. She stays home while I assist with the business. Travel and entertain with father and my brother in laws (my sisters' husbands) but no hanky panky even at KTV. I am used to my life. Call me a slave?

Sounds like someone I know, except she wasn't the only child. At least you slept your way to success? (in a way):D

[James Porn]

Sounds like someone I know, except she wasn't the only child. At least you slept your way to success? (in a way):D

Technically true. That's why I was drawn to this interesting thread with a title "What is your married relationship like?". It somehow resonates my current status and how I got into this situation. :)

Things can get pretty sticky if I ever do anything out of line, if you know what I mean. It has its pros and cons like everything else in life. Life is to be enjoyed, c'est la vie !

[bigbrudder]

Technically true. That's why I was drawn to this interesting thread with a title "What is your married relationship like?". It somehow resonates my current status and how I got into this situation. :)

Things can get pretty sticky if I ever do anything out of line, if you know what I mean. It has its pros and cons like everything else in life. Life is to be enjoyed, c'est la vie !

I understand your predicament.

I am quite the opposite, housing everything from my side of the family. I always think if it will easier (life and career) wise if I have hooked up with a richer side. They can open doors, but I may not choose to be in the family company.

At least you dun have to worry about providing for the family.

[James Porn]

I understand your predicament.

I am quite the opposite, housing everything from my side of the family. I always think if it will easier (life and career) wise if I have hooked up with a richer side. They can open doors, but I may not choose to be in the family company.

At least you dun have to worry about providing for the family.

Most of the guys I know are like yourself, the main provider with very clear and defined roles and accountabilities. My predicament as you understand comes in many forms and can be pretty complex if I let my mind wander. For eg, alone in a foreign land, my deepest concerns (and frustration) is when an attractive lady meets my eyes and lightly smile, my first thought would be "could this be a honey trap?" I must admit I have taken a few chances in the past, but the experiences have been more of 'less joy due to fear of being caught' :)

I am expressing myself in this manner, probably due to the 7 year old myth. I can't say I am not happy with my present married life, I am. It is just the naughty side that comes up every now and then.

Have fun bros!

[dreamz2289]

Most of the guys I know are like yourself, the main provider with very clear and defined roles and accountabilities. My predicament as you understand comes in many forms and can be pretty complex if I let my mind wander. For eg, alone in a foreign land, my deepest concerns (and frustration) is when an attractive lady meets my eyes and lightly smile, my first thought would be "could this be a honey trap?" I must admit I have taken a few chances in the past, but the experiences have been more of 'less joy due to fear of being caught' :)

I am expressing myself in this manner, probably due to the 7 year old myth. I can't say I am not happy with my present married life, I am. It is just the naughty side that comes up every now and then.

Have fun bros!


I agree with you bro. Think every guy is like that. I am married for 3 years and my mind wonders the same thing as well. Especially when I go overseas for work. I am happy with my wife, but also wonder what it will be like if I got together with my past girlfriends.

But at the end of the day, every guy has to be responsible for the promise they made and support the family. If we all had our ways, we would go chiong around but we made a big promise on the wedding day. So I guess have to keep to the promise. If you dont want then I guess don't get married. :)

[porscheclub]

Hi,

Anyone care to share what your married relationship is like ?



Flinger, you're a super senior here but you've asked a lot of questions lately about child birth on another thread & then a whole pile of questions here on marriage.

From your language, you appear to be an analyst & potential MCP :D

Just wondering, are you married, getting into one or been in one for a while & looking forward for children?

I'm between 1+2. A marriage is a union between two persons so everything can be discussed for an understanding and the only chance of being slaves are sex-slaves to one another & we like role plays :D

In the first place, I look for a partner who would fulfill the roles of a wife, mother & daughter-in-law. The rest will fall in place naturally as long as I bring the bread home but she'll be the boss if she's a better earner. There's been maids but I also help out with the housework to ease their loads.

I'm not sure about you guys but we don't want marry a housekeeper do you? Neither would we want a hen pecker, good-for-nothing pretty doll or emo wreck, it's an awful situation to be with either of those so choose your spouse wisely, love her well & respect her as equal. A good wife will make you a happy husband.

[Flinger2]

Hi Bro,

am not a MCP. heh

The types I have written exists and I have seen them all.

The reason I wrote them is I wanted to understand why they got into the specific type of relationship and what is their view now that they have been in that relationship.

I am married , had a child, but she stayed with us for a short time and moved on to heaven and although we tried... not successful to have another... so we are childless you can say....

My wife and I are total opposites of each other...;)

Because we are opposites, we think different and thus have issues when thinking how life should be.... but we've been through quite a lot so we have learned to accommodate each other.. and I have learned to adapt and others way.....=)


Flinger, you're a super senior here but you've asked a lot of questions lately about child birth on another thread & then a whole pile of questions here on marriage.

From your language, you appear to be an analyst & potential MCP :D

Just wondering, are you married, getting into one or been in one for a while & looking forward for children?

I'm between 1+2. A marriage is a union between two persons so everything can be discussed for an understanding and the only chance of being slaves are sex-slaves to one another & we like role plays :D

In the first place, I look for a partner who would fulfill the roles of a wife, mother & daughter-in-law. The rest will fall in place naturally as long as I bring the bread home but she'll be the boss if she's a better earner. There's been maids but I also help out with the housework to ease their loads.

I'm not sure about you guys but we don't want marry a housekeeper do you? Neither would we want a hen pecker, good-for-nothing pretty doll or emo wreck, it's an awful situation to be with either of those so choose your spouse wisely, love her well & respect her as equal. A good wife will make you a happy husband.

[porscheclub]

Hi Bro,

am not a MCP. heh

The types I have written exists and I have seen them all.

The reason I wrote them is I wanted to understand why they got into the specific type of relationship and what is their view now that they have been in that relationship.

I am married , had a child, but she stayed with us for a short time and moved on to heaven and although we tried... not successful to have another... so we are childless you can say....

My wife and I are total opposites of each other...;)

Because we are opposites, we think different and thus have issues when thinking how life should be.... but we've been through quite a lot so we have learned to accommodate each other.. and I have learned to adapt and others way.....=)

Hey now you're talking like a nice chap :) & don't worry about the Mcp as it's just a poking remark :D

Sorry to hear about your loss. Must've been very painful time to get over.

My friend is a very good IVF doc, holds a doctorate in her field & practiced in UK under the tutelage from the inventor of this field. I can pass you her contact & she's now returned to Asia but not in Singapore though. Her fees are reasonable.

Otherwise some of my friends have adopted & the kids are in their teens now.

Opposites are fine as they say magnets attract so just need to find the best ways to accommodate.

[Flinger2]

Thanx bro for the reply.

Been through IVF a no. of times, the process is can be pretty tough mentally if you cannot take it.

I have come to the decision that be it your own child or adoption, if it is meant to be, it will happen but if it not meant to be be, no matter how hard you try it will not or the situation will get worst.

What I mean by it will happen is that, the circumstance surrounding you will be positive and more encouraging but if you are not meant to be, everything around will be like trying to stop you from going to the next step.

Example, as you know IVF can cost quite a bit of money, and a positive sign will be you get a promotion or you are doing well in your job etc... a negative sign is you get retrenched from your job etc...

Anyway, thanx for the offer, but the way you talk about your friend, she seens very $$$$$ hahaha.... don't think can afford it bro. =)

So whats your situation like? care to share? =)


Hey now you're talking like a nice chap :) & don't worry about the Mcp as it's just a poking remark :D

Sorry to hear about your loss. Must've been very painful time to get over.

My friend is a very good IVF doc, holds a doctorate in her field & practiced in UK under the tutelage from the inventor of this field. I can pass you her contact & she's now returned to Asia but not in Singapore though. Her fees are reasonable.

Otherwise some of my friends have adopted & the kids are in their teens now.

Opposites are fine as they say magnets attract so just need to find the best ways to accommodate.

[Metzloff]

Married for 22 years with 2 teenage kids.
Financial responsibility for the family is mine.
Wife looks after household and kids' schedule etc. She doesn't have to work but does a little part-time just to keep current.

The wife makes the decisions for household matters while I look after finances etc. I'm the sole breadwinner and whatever money there is comes from my side of the family so there's not much argument about that aspect.

Marriage is stable but sometimes I can't help wondering if it's supposed to just be like this. Anyway, I made a commitment and I will see it through...

[Flinger2]

Hi Metzloff,

You must be doing will in your career, no worries about retrenchment and all since you are the sole bread winner?

Are you running a business? or a salary man?

Hope it is not too personal a question to ask.

The setup you mention seems to be the norm in most households even when the wife is working from what I have seen.

Actually, since you are managing the finance, if your wife spends a lot on a particular month, don't you'll have any talks or arguments about it?

Married for 22 years with 2 teenage kids.
Financial responsibility for the family is mine.
Wife looks after household and kids' schedule etc. She doesn't have to work but does a little part-time just to keep current.

The wife makes the decisions for household matters while I look after finances etc. I'm the sole breadwinner and whatever money there is comes from my side of the family so there's not much argument about that aspect.

Marriage is stable but sometimes I can't help wondering if it's supposed to just be like this. Anyway, I made a commitment and I will see it through...

[H9000C]

married 1year and a 2month old baby (not a shotgun marriage though) =p

marriage life i would say is about 2 persons , not only thinking about oneself. wife was very supportive whenever i encounter problems at work or family.

of course there are times where quarrels or tempers flaring but things never get out of hand.

importantly, its the mental support for each other that counts and knowing your other half will be there for you through thick and thin.

[Metzloff]

@Flinger 2

I run a small business. My wife, who has her share of faults, is luckily not a spendthrift, a shopaholic or a gambler. She was brought up to be careful with money. Because we've been married so long, I know I can trust her implicitly in this area. So if it's a handbag or a trip with her girlfriends, I'm cool with that.;)

[porscheclub]

Heeeya glad you've seen the light bro & sounds like you've been through some choppy waters! Sometimes we have to leave certain things to fate, heaven or whatever we pray to. Children are wonderful things, quite havoc but always lovely creations of ourselves.

My cousin had a late pregnancy at 45 but lost her baby after couple of months cos her womb is just not strong enough & that was their first in 15yrs of marriage. In the end they adopted an Indonesian gal who's 3 now.

I'm a little blessed or perhaps cursed. Like a balance scale busy tipping either sides.

May you find peace within yourself soon & rediscover the joy of life. Sometimes emptiness is happiness, filled are but but devoid. I'm overflowed & lost :o

[Metzloff]

Yes, I agree with bro Porscheclub re positive attitude, especially when starting out in a marriage. For me, I respect the commitment I made years ago and I appreciate the work that my wife has put in and the shared experiences we've had in > 2 decades of marriage. Unfortunately, the romance and the joy of it has diminished steadily through the years. I don't think it's any one party's fault, it's just the way it is. Nowadays, I find that my relationship with my wife is just another duty. It's just work - it is there, it has to be done but sad to say, I don't derive much pleasure from it. Very different from pak tor days.

So these days, whenever I need to, I go down to GL and take an SYT for a session or two. Not so very often and I try to be really low-profile but this helps me recapture, for a little while, what it means to be with pretty girl. I'm going to be 50 in a few days' time. I've been dealing with the job/mortgage/kids/wife stuff for a long time. Like I said, I have no intention of shirking my responsibilities but once in a while, I need to feel some joy and excitement again. I used to feel guilty and beat myself up over this but less so now.

I'm happy to see Bro Porscheclub because I remember reading a long and interesting post by him sometime ago about a relationship with a KTV girl (I think) which I found fascinating.

[real_king]

@Flinger 2

I run a small business. My wife, who has her share of faults, is luckily not a spendthrift, a shopaholic or a gambler. She was brought up to be careful with money. Because we've been married so long, I know I can trust her implicitly in this area. So if it's a handbag or a trip with her girlfriends, I'm cool with that.;)unluckily for me. my wife is all three of your wife.