Divorced

[DesEMmond]

i think i'm getting divorced and i got a 6month baby , any one know the girl will get roughly how much per month from me? and i got a house and company under my own. is she entitle?

[sunhuan-con]

i think i'm getting divorced and i got a 6month baby , any one know the girl will get roughly how much per month from me? and i got a house and company under my own. is she entitle?

Yes she is entitle to claim....Best is the fight for care and control of your baby . With the baby by your side she cant claim much...

[Greendevil]

she entitle to claim on the house. for the company, many factors come into play, like if was there any period of the time that she is hsewife throughout the period of your companmy set up till date, i.ee sacrifice herself to stay home than to work. does she help you in you work. if the company is solely own or co-share, public listed etc.

and forget abt fighting for the child custody. cos it only 6 months old. no judge will give you the custody unless the mum say so or she has some major problem like illness or mental unsound. and simply, the judge will ask you, if give you the child custody, how will you take care of the baby? worst if your baby is on breast feeding cos TS, where u find breast milk to feed or in a more crude manner; handsome, your breast is also lactating milk issit.

lastly, a woman who just give birth and baby 6 month only will want to divorce, bro not hard to tell what happen lor

[Sadlady]

So sad especially there is a child involves. Have you guys go for counselling or other alternative ways before deciding to divorce?

[Flinger2]

Why do you want to divorced?

Share and you will get better answers.

[maxsee]

How come baby just 6 months old want divorce....TS cheats on her ah? I mean if u are in the wrong, it is only right that you let her claims whatever she can bah...but if she is in the wrong...you must do whatever it takes to prevent her from digging from you...:D:D:D

[otamay]

How come baby just 6 months old want divorce....TS cheats on her ah? I mean if u are in the wrong, it is only right that you let her claims whatever she can bah...but if she is in the wrong...you must do whatever it takes to prevent her from digging from you...:D:D:D

Yes good point, puzzled just 6 months old only too soon?:mad:

[DesEMmond]

the whole story is like this , i knew her not long abt 6mth and she got pregnant and we have number of quarrel before she pregnant and i lay hand on her , and we actually dont wish to married and wanted to abort , but after sometimes we cool down and talk and i promise i wont touch her again. so our marriage life started.

during the pregnancy i treat very very good but we do have some quarrel at times and during every quarrel she will say she wanted to divorce and i beg and please her.

and this time round is like , bcos im helping baby to bath and i ask her to help me carry baby to bed and apply those powder etc , then she tsk me , i was like wth why tsk me somemore infront most of my family , so i asked her why u tsk me , maybe the way i ask sound rudely , so she nv ans , and i keep ask her for number of times and she tsk again , i hear liao i more angry so i keep ask her why tsk me , then she tsk again and say rudely dont ask la, so i was damn angry , then i tell her if she not happy then dont do for baby lor and i push her away and i do it myself

[DesEMmond]

she is working and her pay is abt 1.5k and in my own company im getting abt 5k
the hse is new and is landed under my own name. and we have not move in yet , the hse is not really consider mine as it only use my name to buy but is my family who fork out the money as we are staying tgt. the baby is not breastfeeding , is on formula feed since week1

we married about 1 year plus and in bgr for abt 6mth. so total almost 2year only

[DesEMmond]

now the problem is i dont wish to divorce , i really love and want to be with her , and i try beg her for few hour and yet she keep dont want , so no choice i have to let her go back to her home first but the baby is with me now.

HOW?

[Golden question]

now the problem is i dont wish to divorce , i really love and want to be with her , and i try beg her for few hour and yet she keep dont want , so no choice i have to let her go back to her home first but the baby is with me now.

HOW?

Do u know there is such thing call free legal advise by lawyers?Is 20 minute free advise,u can ask them but they will not represent u for divorce procedure.

They volunteer their time only.

Under woman charter,your wife is entitle for part of your property if is been sold and under your name.

My question is why u have to beg her and do u want care and control of you baby?

[Golden question]

she is working and her pay is abt 1.5k and in my own company im getting abt 5k
the hse is new and is landed under my own name. and we have not move in yet , the hse is not really consider mine as it only use my name to buy but is my family who fork out the money as we are staying tgt. the baby is not breastfeeding , is on formula feed since week1

we married about 1 year plus and in bgr for abt 6mth. so total almost 2year only

If is under your name then is yours,sg court dont care is consider yours or not,they only look at black and white.She cannot force u to sell if this house dont have her name inside but if have,she can request court to ask the house to be sell away to split the money if she F$$K CARE u

[Ahxi]

now the problem is i dont wish to divorce , i really love and want to be with her , and i try beg her for few hour and yet she keep dont want , so no choice i have to let her go back to her home first but the baby is with me now.

HOW?

Women rather listen to others than someone she does not trust anymore.

Steps

Butter up her family.

Go for anger management class.

Find a common mediator(s).

Then go for counseling. As a couple and individually for each of you.

Have a 3 weeks holiday in some remote place with no shopping (like new Zealand). No babies.

Live with the fact that every time there is a fight, she will use divorce to get the upper hand.

[sammyboyfor]

Have a 3 weeks holiday in some remote place with no shopping (like new Zealand).

They'll both die of boredom and the baby will end up an orphan at a young age.

[KaniNababe]

now the problem is i dont wish to divorce , i really love and want to be with her , and i try beg her for few hour and yet she keep dont want , so no choice i have to let her go back to her home first but the baby is with me now.

HOW?

She has postnatal blue?
I think u two need professional help. Better go seek counselling . How can bo dai bo ji suka suka say divorce so irresponsible deg

[Ahxi]

They'll both die of boredom and the baby will end up an orphan at a young age.

It is called learning to live with each other. There are plenty of nature to go around in new zealand and a lot of time for them to talk out their issues and come to a compromise on many things. Of course the key is that TS has to attend an anger management class first.

If it is a place like fiji island, 2 weeks should be enough.

If they still can't learn to compromise after such a trip where they are pasted to each other for 24 hrs a day, then I feel they are not meant to be together.

[Ahxi]

She has postnatal blue?
I think u two need professional help. Better go seek counselling . How can bo dai bo ji suka suka say divorce so irresponsible deg

I think it is the part where he "laid" his hands on her before pregnancy, promised not do so again but "pushed" her when he was angry.

Forgive me for saying this but TS do need to go for anger management class...

I know some females that do not care about the situation and just want to win or vent by making stupid comments at the most incendiary moments. If TS love such a woman, TS can slowly get her to tone down but mostly, TS just have to learn to live with it.

[Brainstorm]

Both of you are very young right? Let me guess. Bf-gf 6 months, then shotgun, then got to get married, then spend the next 10 months preparing for baby, then the last 6 months raising a kid. You have a very eventful past 2 years.

Once you get married, there is no more he or she. There is only we. She might have post-natal depression. It's not easy to cope with a screaming baby who cannot tell you what she wants. Be more understanding lah. Everyone knows divorce is a serious thing. Saying divorce might just be a way to get your attention during a quarrel. Which woman want to be divorced with a small kid? Not easy in our society for divorced lady with child to move on. Some more to raise a kid on a monthly income of $1.5K.

Lay your hand on her means what? You beat her up in the past? No matter what happens, a real man never beats a woman. Some more she is your wife and the mother of your child. This has to change.

The good thing is both of you got to go through separation before the divorced is finalized. Got time to cool down. The other good thing is you say you want to save the marriage. Since the daughter is with you now, why not take a few cute photos of the daughter and send it to her? Tell her your daughter misses her. More importantly, tell her you miss her even more. Let her know you want her back not because the daughter needs a mother but because you love her.

If still cannot work, try a middle path. Ask her to come back for the weekend. You will sleep in a separate room so that she can spend time with the baby. Then whenever you can, you try to win her back by showering her with concern. If she says hurtful things, just let her say lah. Why your ego so big? Talking won't die one.

Be fair to your daughter. She didn't choose to be born. She obviously didn't choose such immature parents. Why let her grow up in a single parent family? It's time you be a husband and a father.

[DesEMmond]

Do u know there is such thing call free legal advise by lawyers?Is 20 minute free advise,u can ask them but they will not represent u for divorce procedure.

They volunteer their time only.

Under woman charter,your wife is entitle for part of your property if is been sold and under your name.

My question is why u have to beg her and do u want care and control of you baby?

Bcos i still love her and i want her and baby of course

[DesEMmond]

Thanks for everyone advise , yup i did beat her up due to quarrel it was before marriage , after that i didnt do that anymore , i shld take up anger management for sure , i just hope she can be back.

[Brainstorm]

after that i didnt do that anymore , i shld take up anger management for sure , i just hope she can be back.

You say one ah.. Only you can make any changes permanently successful. I really hope to hear good news from you. Now is not the time to think about division of matrimonial assets or child maintenance or alimony. Not that stage yet. Now is the time to go win her back!!

[DesEMmond]

You say one ah.. Only you can make any changes permanently successful. I really hope to hear good news from you. Now is not the time to think about division of matrimonial assets or child maintenance or alimony. Not that stage yet. Now is the time to go win her back!!

How to win her back , haiis

[Ahxi]

How to win her back , haiis

Women rather listen to others than someone she does not trust anymore.

Steps

Butter up her family.

Go for anger management class.

Find a common mediator(s).

Then go for counseling. As a couple and individually for each of you.

Have a 3 weeks holiday in some remote place with no shopping (like new Zealand). No babies.

Live with the fact that every time there is a fight, she will use divorce to get the upper hand.

As above. Take anger management class. Ask her frds and family for help. Show them that you are remorseful by taking the anger management class. Bribe them with small gifts, especially her sisters and your mother in law. If necessary, tell them your plan and vision for your family.

Send her flowers everyday for 6 days, then stop. She will wonder what happened. Pretend to be ill or suffering from gastric due to stress, overworking and missing her.

[Greendevil]

TS, while it is encouraging to see that you are trying to savalge your marriage, i think there no need to say more of what you should do esp so many samster have given their 2 cents worth. So I going play the devil now.

First you must know, Singapore has Woman Act, dont have Man Act and second, marriage take two hand to clap, but divorce can be done by one. Separation can be one of the tools use to divorce. It just a matter of time.

So while you are trying to reunite with your wife, do prepare your bullets if things turn for a worst. I will tried to keep this short and break down these into few key points:

1. Maintenance - Basically there is maintenance for the mum and baby in your case.

a. Baby - Depending on the arrangement for the baby that the mum made(assuming she has custody), her income and cost to support the baby, you will have to contribute and from her income 1.5K, it mean you have to contribute majority of the cost. And assuming she has no other means but to take care the baby herself, the cost will of cos goes up substaintionally. Of cos, it will have to take into consideration of your income and if proven beyond reasonable doubts that the maintenance demand is beyond yr capability, than the judge will have to advice the mum to have realistic expectation and demand. In short, EARTH TO MOON, PLEASE ASK MUM COME BACK DOWN TO EARTH.
b. Mum - subjected to arrangement made to (a), years of marriage, contribution (sacrifice) to marriage, emotional damage if any, living lifestyle, her income and assets. I will recommend you to do a one time settlement if there will to be any than a monthly fees given your marriage is short and if you can prove that the marriage is partly contribute of shotgun, then you may have a better chance in a one time settlement. And why i encourage one time settlement? Even she demand $1 monthly maintenance, you be surprise it can hang your balls one day under woman act. With $1 monthly, If she loss her ability to generate income due to valid reason e.g. car accident, then the woman act kick in, whereby she can write in to court to demand you to support/maintain her for the period she is unable to generate income. and if it is a perm disability, that will also mean perm support. So indirectly you are her 'AIA' life insurance. It better you buy her insurance in this case. so under the divorce agreement, it has to be made clear the maintenance you are paying goes to where and dissolve your responsibility to her thru one time settlement

2. Asset - she has right to take a split in the unit you both stay in, unless you are staying under your parent's roof, than LL for her. Even the house may not be registered under her name, she can has a claim on it. Of course it will not be great. Best is to collect document to prove beyond doubts that this unit is not pay by you or there is x% pay by your parent, than this will help to lesser the damage. Also, if you have any other property under your name, than the judge will have to review if this is acquire/earn during your marriage and /or during the course of marriage. and of cos, she may be able to have a cut in it. Company will depend on what the company is register as and also shareholder, if it is listed and etc. similar principle apply on the company. In short, if the woman stay home to take care of the family/home or she is working but take care of the children to allow you to focus on your carreer, than she take a cut in it for the sacrifice she made. IF no children and she is working, than different equation applied.

So work for the best but always prepare for the worst.

[alvin83]

Bro

Correct me is i am wrong:

Since this is a dispute. The victim can approach the family court to apply Personnel Protection Order against the other party. Both of you will be giving Counseling to help improve the situation.

Need not apply for divorce since you have a 6-month old baby.

Regards

[DesEMmond]

Thanks bro for being devil and ur advice , base on what u see, chances of losing?

[nickahben]

Thanks bro for being devil and ur advice , base on what u see, chances of losing?

On losing wat? Your money? Your custody to your child?

[Summerhillt]

Bro. think twice la.. divorce is bad for your kid..

[adonis]

Your wife will not have much claim on your house becos she n u were married for such a short time.

[Blurri]

Bro, firat do remember that you have not been marries for 3yrs so you cannot get divorced immediately so pls do not focus on the divorce itself esp sinve you have mentioned many times tat u r trying to work things out.

Firstly as a man when a mistake is done, drop ur ego n realised ur mistake.... U can only prove to her u are sorry thru ur actions.

Reading wat u have posted i can say tat ur wife is having poatnatal blues... Not something to take lightly.. Get a fren to speak to her. Give her some space... Taking care of baby, working and still getting scolded by you is no joke.... She may b feeling tat no one cares for her as all attention is on baby....

For yourself, if u say u wan ur family aak urself wat can u do to help.... Screaming at ur wife will not help make tings better....

Just an advised fr someone who sees babies n mommies daily.

[Greendevil]

Sorry to say, even not marriage for 3 yrs, still can divorce. It not buying HDB, cannot sell for 5 yrs lor. just use another clause will do. Seen it before

[dreamz2289]

Sorry to say, even not marriage for 3 yrs, still can divorce. It not buying HDB, cannot sell for 5 yrs lor. just use another clause will do. Seen it before

Agreed. There are at least 3 other clauses which provides provisions for divorce . As for HDB, unless you forfeit a huge amount of money, can't sell. Think most courts will suggest for counselling and therapy first rather than divorce if its under 3 years though, especially with a child on the way. Good luck bro, hope she will open her heart and give you one more chance.

[esssinine]

brother u champion lah, ppl divorce worry about the care and comfort of the offspring they bore and their welfare thereafter but u seem more concern about not losing too much money

i salute u brother , u are the ultimate cheongster :p

[Greendevil]

Thanks bro for being devil and ur advice , base on what u see, chances of losing?

You mean divorce and child custody? Well bro, ans your qtns with a qtns.

6 month old baby, both parent parting way, and both want custody, now you are the judge, who you think the baby is better off with from a very NEUTRAL point?

[newyorker88]

and this time round is like , bcos im helping baby to bath and i ask her to help me carry baby to bed and apply those powder etc , then she tsk me , i was like wth why tsk me somemore infront most of my family , so i asked her why u tsk me , maybe the way i ask sound rudely , so she nv ans , and i keep ask her for number of times and she tsk again , i hear liao i more angry so i keep ask her why tsk me , then she tsk again and say rudely dont ask la, so i was damn angry , then i tell her if she not happy then dont do for baby lor and i push her away and i do it myself

Sorry to say this, bro... both of you are like kids. Perhaps, both of you need more help in managing family affairs from your elders. While both of you adjust to the situation.

To begin with, do you both want to stay together for the rest of your life? You have to consider many consequences of divorce and custody of baby issue, especially the baby is so small. Money is one issue, but responsibility is another.

Since you both have the baby already, It is not so simple case of parting. The ultimate loser is the baby.

Counselling may help to a certain extend and will help out in the short term. Perhaps, help from both parents side may help, especially in caring for the baby, while both of you as a couple work out the differences between both of you.

Don't use divorce as a threat to each other. It adds on hurt and does not solve the problem if you truly want to stay together.

Coming here to ask for advice is a way to let out your frustrations. Hope all the best for you.

[Ahxi]

After all the scoldings, advices, warnings and sympathy, no updates? :P

[DesEMmond]

thanks for everyone scolding advise and everything . i really think im childish too. but im now trying my best to save this r/s . but still like this. haiis