Need Advice

[iwantfree]

Hi,

I need advice from alot of wise bros here. I am a single child and my father pass away when i am 18 year old. I am 42 this year, not married and have live with my mother. I think i have been a filial child since my father died and had take care of my mother.

The only headache i have now is my mother have been very possessive of me after my father gone. He do not like me to have a gf or a wife, there are many times when i try date a girl, she will try to stop me. As such i have remain single till this day to take care of her.

As a man i have my needs, so i visit whore to released after work. But as i get older i become frustrated of not having a relationship. I am afraid after my mother passed away i become lonely without a partnar.

My mother always ransack and check my bag, my cupboard, i dont even dare to keep unused condom. And she complain that she cannot fall asleep if i do not sleep in same room with her, as such i have shared room with her after my father pass away.

I dont even have freedom to pcc, webcam with girls even if i get to know girls from internet. So many time, i hide and pcc fast when my mother go out for a short while or when she fall asleep, i feel so pathetic but i just cannot move out and leave her alone.

I want to be a filial but really hope to get out of this. Any bro could give me good advice? I have think try to put my mother in a old people home but could not bear to do such cruel things.:(

[HappyOwl]

I want to be a filial but really hope to get out of this. Any bro could give me good advice? I have think try to put my mother in a old people home but could not bear to do such cruel things.:(

Bro. iwantfree, putting your mum in an old people home should not even come into you because you mentioned you want to be, filial. Not to mention, you already going through this ordeal for the past 24 years. :)

Every mother loves her children. Don't you think so?



The only headache i have now is my mother have been very possessive of me after my father gone. He do not like me to have a gf or a wife, there are many times when i try date a girl, she will try to stop me. As such i have remain single till this day to take care of her.

As a man i have my needs, so i visit whore to released after work. But as i get older i become frustrated of not having a relationship. I am afraid after my mother passed away i become lonely without a partnar.

My mother always ransack and check my bag, my cupboard, i dont even dare to keep unused condom. And she complain that she cannot fall asleep if i do not sleep in same room with her, as such i have shared room with her after my father pass away.

I dont even have freedom to pcc, webcam with girls even if i get to know girls from internet. So many time, i hide and pcc fast when my mother go out for a short while or when she fall asleep, i feel so pathetic but i just cannot move out and leave her alone.



I am not too sure what causes her to be like this. There is a high possibility she may end up into a depression state of mind.

Have you tried to make known to her the days in the near future when you will be very lonely?

Have you tried to understand why did she not allows you to have a girlfriend? Ask for about it? :)

[Triple70]

You are old enough to be an independent adult.
U should take control of your own life and tell off your mom if her actions are unreasonable.
Unless u take steps to control your own life, u will always be seen as a "Mommy's Boy". Ladies will not find u desirable.

Just because she is your mom, does not mean her actions are bulletproof. It's ok to challenge her.

I know it's easier said than done. But it's about time to reflect on your current situation. The future is really in your hands. Don't blame it on others.

[Blast88]

TS,

At 42 u should be already old enough to be someone father, it unbelievable up to now u don't even have a decent dating due to your quoted reasons. IMHO, you should try to widen your mother social circle, arranging her to participate RC or CC activities, make new friends, eventually when she have more companions, I believe she will gradually rely less on you:)

[Big Sexy]

try to get her to attend counselling sessions. it will help..

http://www.sac-counsel.org.sg/index.php/component/counselors/?Itemid=125


Hi,
I want to be a filial but really hope to get out of this. Any bro could give me good advice?

[discordpiggy]

You have been a mamma's boy for too long.

I think you have gone into a routine mode of being with her all these years and she has gotten used to it and it is all within both your comfort zones..

you can try going holiday on your own to test and see if you can live without your mom, and see if she can live without you.

I will say both of you will missed each other if you go away for even 2d 1n. In the end, you will still be sleeping with her in a room. Had you NOT allow yourself to be sleeping with her in the same room right from the beginning, such things will not happen for the last 24 years!

The only thing you can do is, that is if there is another room in your home, to start sleeping in another room.

1. come home late, sleep in another room;
2. tell her straight and upfront that you are out meeting women, talk/chat on the phone with other women in front of her;
3. tell her you need your personal space; (she will most likely kick up a fast but just be quiet and ignore)
4. lock yourself in another room if you are sleeping alone;
5. leave unused condoms, hotel receipts whatever men's stuff around. for heaven's sake, you are already 42. there's nothing wrong with all those things lying around, when you are single, NOT even married or divorced.

When you start taking these little actions, there will definitely be some resistance. You need to persist. Regardless whether you are going to be alone or not but as a person, you need personal space and personal time on your time. Your mother needs to understand that.

Right now, both of you have fallen in the state of "comfort zone" because of 24 years of living together. Human beings are such that once you get into the comfort zone, you will not leave this routine even you are not mentally happy or fulfilled.

You need to break out and do the exact opposite to free yourself. Meaning do everything that you wanted to be did not. However, do not send her to old folks home because it does not address the issue. She will not be able to see any change if you send her there. She has to stay with you to realise things need to change and see for herself that you are no longer her little boy and you are a grown middle age man who needs a companion.

I have my own personal space and time since I was even 5-6 years old!

Good luck bro iwantfree!

P/s: but please don't watch porn in front of her!!! wahahahaha!!!! I watched soft porn with my grandma, uncles, aunties when I was 9 years... and can still remember which HKG super star who acted in it... hhahahaha!!! :D

[Intltuk]

try to get her to attend counselling sessions. it will help..

http://www.sac-counsel.org.sg/index.php/component/counselors/?Itemid=125

I support. TS, ur mum needs professional help.

[maxsee]

Seriously if what you say is true...even if you managed to snag a gf...they will run away once they learn about your mum....unless you do something about your current situation....you are definitely on the route to eternal loneliness....:D:D:D

[JTSK]

Bro TS

Putting her in old people home is out of way. Like some bro has mentioned, she need help to overcome her situation. Once the situation improve, you could get your freedom.

Regards

[hugs]

TS,
Let your mum trust u. Let her see that you have grown up. Thru your daily decision making & social behavior, prove your a mature man & she can 放心。 As a son, do not make her feel insecure. Show her you will be the man in the house she can rely on, by being able to manage your own life & emotion, as well as teach her to manage her life & care for her emotional needs. Do not put her in homes. Do not get into tension with her but be firm, & be patient. Win her over.U dont have to be overly concern for all her needs. Just do the best & let her know you cannot be everything in her life, she got to let you live yours & she lives hers. Do not let her be overly reliance. Expand her social circle. Introduce changes into her life.

Hi,

I need advice from alot of wise bros here. I am a single child and my father pass away when i am 18 year old. I am 42 this year, not married and have live with my mother. I think i have been a filial child since my father died and had take care of my mother.

The only headache i have now is my mother have been very possessive of me after my father gone. He do not like me to have a gf or a wife, there are many times when i try date a girl, she will try to stop me. As such i have remain single till this day to take care of her.

As a man i have my needs, so i visit whore to released after work. But as i get older i become frustrated of not having a relationship. I am afraid after my mother passed away i become lonely without a partnar.

My mother always ransack and check my bag, my cupboard, i dont even dare to keep unused condom. And she complain that she cannot fall asleep if i do not sleep in same room with her, as such i have shared room with her after my father pass away.

I dont even have freedom to pcc, webcam with girls even if i get to know girls from internet. So many time, i hide and pcc fast when my mother go out for a short while or when she fall asleep, i feel so pathetic but i just cannot move out and leave her alone.

I want to be a filial but really hope to get out of this. Any bro could give me good advice? I have think try to put my mother in a old people home but could not bear to do such cruel things.:(

[StoolPigeon]

Hi,

I need advice from alot of wise bros here. I am a single child and my father pass away when i am 18 year old. I am 42 this year, not married and have live with my mother. I think i have been a filial child since my father died and had take care of my mother.

The only headache i have now is my mother have been very possessive of me after my father gone. He do not like me to have a gf or a wife, there are many times when i try date a girl, she will try to stop me. As such i have remain single till this day to take care of her.



try to get her to attend counselling sessions. it will help..

http://www.sac-counsel.org.sg/index.php/component/counselors/?Itemid=125

This is right bro. I think this is an issue which needs to be tackled from multiple angles. Counselling might help to unravel certain hidden psychological issues which explains why she is behaving this way. After all, i think most parents would want to see their child finds a life partner eventually as they know they can't be there for you forever.
At the same time, helping her to expand her social circle and find other interests (there are a lot of activities classes in community centres) would also reduce her mental reliance on you.

[iwantfree]

Dear HappyOwl,

Yes all mother loves her children, but it become possessive when they try to decide what is best for their children.

I think i am more depress than her:(

Of course i have ask those question you mention without any good answer:(

Perhaps she is more afraid of loneliness.


Every mother loves her children. Don't you think so?

There is a high possibility she may end up into a depression state of mind.

Have you tried to make known to her the days in the near future when you will be very lonely?
Have you tried to understand why did she not allows you to have a girlfriend? Ask for about it?

Dear Triple 70,

Yes you said it well, girls whom i try to date see me as mommy boy. I never blame others and take responsibility taking care of my mother thats why i ended up in this situation

Unless u take steps to control your own life, u will always be seen as a "Mommy's Boy". Ladies will not find u desirable.

I know it's easier said than done. But it's about time to reflect on your current situation. The future is really in your hands. Don't blame it on others.

Dear Blast88,

Oh yes i try to widen her social circle by encouraging her to join RC activities and even give her ample cash for her to go mingle around with friends for coffee and shopping but simply too stubborn to accept changes.

TS,
IMHO, you should try to widen your mother social circle, arranging her to participate RC or CC activities, make new friends, eventually when she have more companions, I believe she will gradually rely less on you:)

Dear Big Sexy,

Yes i bring up this counselling issue after some of my friends propose it only to get F.... by her.
try to get her to attend counselling sessions. it will help..

[iwantfree]

Dear Discordpiggy,

I dont really consider myself as a mamma's boy becoz i dont allow her to interfere with my job life, salary and the friends i have. I just cannot ditch her thats all.

I have go holiday once every 3-4 months but usually keep it to 3 days 2 night type but as usual, she will complain she cannot sleep at night when i am away.

At 18 yr when my father passed away, i cannot see the impact yet and of course could not reject her want to sleep in same room because it left the two of us in my family at that point of time.

Some of the things i have try but without results like
1) talking on phone to girls (see below for further info),
2) tell her i need personal space many times, but you know the answer.
3) My door cannot lock because all are damage:D,
4) i have left a unused condom once about 4 years back, she found it keep nagging at me till now about how danger it is to get STD and HIV to play outside.

You have freedom since age 5-6yrs, this shows your parents different from mine, at that age you cannot decide for yourself.

Watching porn in front of her? of course i wont but she like to change her clothes even her bra and panties in front of me as if i am a baby dont know anything. I think she dont mind more than me.

You have been a mamma's boy for too long.

you can try going holiday on your own to test and see if you can live without your mom, and see if she can live without you.

I will say both of you will missed each other if you go away for even 2d 1n. In the end, you will still be sleeping with her in a room. Had you NOT allow yourself to be sleeping with her in the same room right from the beginning, such things will not happen for the last 24 years!

The only thing you can do is, that is if there is another room in your home, to start sleeping in another room.

1. come home late, sleep in another room;
2. tell her straight and upfront that you are out meeting women, talk/chat on the phone with other women in front of her;
3. tell her you need your personal space; (she will most likely kick up a fast but just be quiet and ignore)
4. lock yourself in another room if you are sleeping alone;
5. leave unused condoms, hotel receipts whatever men's stuff around. for heaven's sake, you are already 42. there's nothing wrong with all those things lying around, when you are single, NOT even married or divorced.

I have my own personal space and time since I was even 5-6 years old!
P/s: but please don't watch porn in front of her!!! wahahahaha!!!!:D

[iwantfree]

Dear Intltuk,

I know she need professional help but i cannot force her to go get help when she unwilling. I cannot call woodbridge and get her to mental hospital:(
I support. TS, ur mum needs professional help.


Dear Maxsee,

You are right, my friends have introduced girls to me before, i chat with them on phone and my mother shouted me to stop talking on phone and go sleep. The girl so shocked and never chat to me anymore.
Seriously if what you say is true...even if you managed to snag a gf...they will run away once they learn about your mum.


Dear TSK,

I also think about it for long time, haizz...:(
Bro TS
Putting her in old people home is out of way.


Dear hugs,

I already grown up and taking care of her for so many years....you cannot change a overly stubborn person mindset, many times try to change her life without success. She refused to mingle around.
TS,
Show her you will be the man in the house she can rely on, by being able to manage your own life & emotion, as well as teach her to manage her life & care for her emotional needs. Do not put her in homes. Expand her social circle. Introduce changes into her life.


Dear StoolPigeon,

I have think of counselling, i cannot call woodbridge to bring her to mental hospital if she refused to go for counselling.:D
This is right bro. I think this is an issue which needs to be tackled from multiple angles. Counselling might help to unravel certain hidden psychological issues which explains why she is behaving this way.

[iwantfree]

Thanks for all the input, I would like to express my gratitude.:)
After careful consideration, I think best way is to put her in old people homes. She can meet more people and make friends there, not really a bad thing for her.

Wonder any bro can recommend some nice old people homes which i can put her there. This way i can have my freedom and visit her everyweek as well.:)

[banana81sg]

dont old folk home la. nt too good leh.

mayb nt the best way but u say wan gf n marry.

wat my friend did was he go on his normal life, than suddenly came home n say hey mom heres yr daughtr in law.

wa mom shock. told his mom this grl with him for years, he knows wat he doing n wife also knows his suituation with his mom. since married liao, LL mom cant do aythin liao.

now wife n mummy always go out together. mom no more alone much anymore. bby on way, mummy happy too

[stillgottheblue]

I believe your mother had some mental or physiology issue. You should seek professional help instead.

[esssinine]

maybe your mother need a man? a companion?

http://www.be2.sg/v3mod/1577/sg-senior-dating?partnerid=SGFab2012&ef_id=UbJ3QwAAAUwSjQ-M:20140428024721:o

[hugs]

Personally, I think you have a very selfish mindset. I feel sorry for your mum. Just my personal opinion. You are not finding solution, you are not being a man about the problem, you are just being a selfish brat who wants things to go your way, no other way but yours. You asked for advice, you received so many, then you gave us reasons why all advice will not work, you decided from the start to put your mum in old people home although we have been telling you NOT to put your mum in old people home, you do exactly what we told you not to do. I was once told that sometimes, people need a scolding to knock some sense into themselves. I feel pain for you bro. Don't be a jerk, when you can be a man. You can do this to your mum, you may do this to your gf, to your wife, to your FB, to your daughter.. isn't a mother the closest woman in your life? If you cannot treasure a mother's love & find it in your heart to appreciate her, I can't see why your gf or future wife thinks you will love & treasure any relationship. Karma, bro, karma. So if you want a successful marriage someday & be respected by your wife & daughter, I am not trying to frighten you but I suggest you seriously think this over.

Thanks for all the input, I would like to express my gratitude.:)
After careful consideration, I think best way is to put her in old people homes. She can meet more people and make friends there, not really a bad thing for her.

Wonder any bro can recommend some nice old people homes which i can put her there. This way i can have my freedom and visit her everyweek as well.:)

[greatdane88]

Personally, I think you have a very selfish mindset. I feel sorry for your mum. Just my personal opinion. You are not finding solution, you are not being a man about the problem, you are just being a selfish brat who wants things to go your way, no other way but yours. You asked for advice, you received so many, then you gave us reasons why all advice will not work, you decided from the start to put your mum in old people home although we have been telling you NOT to put your mum in old people home, you do exactly what we told you not to do. I was once told that sometimes, people need a scolding to knock some sense into themselves. I feel pain for you bro. Don't be a jerk, when you can be a man. You can do this to your mum, you may do this to your gf, to your wife, to your FB, to your daughter.. isn't a mother the closest woman in your life? If you cannot treasure a mother's love & find it in your heart to appreciate her, I can't see why your gf or future wife thinks you will love & treasure any relationship. Karma, bro, karma. So if you want a successful marriage someday & be respected by your wife & daughter, I am not trying to frighten you but I suggest you seriously think this over.

Sis you confirm a woman who treasure your family or you are very close to your parents. But you are right.... Being an asshole myself, i only appreciate the kindness of my lao bu. I am not a saint but i will not hurt my mum and of course she is the light in my life that i am still here in this world. I may seem like i do not bother about her but if she ever need help. I will always be there for her.

[hugs]

In my opinion, thats good enough actually. Each have their own comfort zone, when she needs help then u offer, otherwise let her lives her own life & u run ur own life. Thats healthy relationship. Once in awhile out of the blue, throw in some kind words & thotful gesture/small makan, is simple way to show appreciation le.

Sis you confirm a woman who treasure your family or you are very close to your parents. But you are right.... Being an asshole myself, i only appreciate the kindness of my lao bu. I am not a saint but i will not hurt my mum and of course she is the light in my life that i am still here in this world. I may seem like i do not bother about her but if she ever need help. I will always be there for her.

[Sen5eS]

a certain song comes to mind ... something about let it go ...

[greatdane88]

I got one suggestion,

you talk to a girl and date her after your work.

After you got her,bring her home. Eat with your mum and everything.

Let your mother knows her more then eventually your mum will realise that this girl is not trying to snatch you away from her.

I know easier said than done but can try.

If you really send your mum to old folks home, i rather u just go out and rent a house.

Why must she be the one leaving this home when she has slog her entire life paying this home with your dad and in turn you are the one grabbing hold of it?

It is like saying she pay for the home and you need money so you force her to sell the home so as to satisfy your needs.

Not right la brother... you can be a fucker a scammer or whatever it is but you really cannot treat your only next of kin like that.

Even if you really one day sway tio tangled up with the law, i am sure your lao bu wont leave you loh.

[hugs]

I'm tired of listening to a girl singing this song by now lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdE2AaTWLKYa certain song comes to mind ... something about let it go ...

[Sen5eS]

I'm tired of listening to a girl singing this song by now lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdE2AaTWLKY

he can sing it to his mum .... only Idina Menzel's version iz good ...

[3someking]

Lets not criticise TS or his mum.

The problem is that TS never choose to be in this kind of situation.

He was given this kind of life instead with no other choices to choose from.

If u are bornt unhappy, its not ur fault. If u die an unhappy person, then its ur fault.

Good Luck TS :)

[rtmFRs]

I got one suggestion,

you talk to a girl and date her after your work.

After you got her,bring her home. Eat with your mum and everything.

Let your mother knows her more then eventually your mum will realise that this girl is not trying to snatch you away from her.

I know easier said than done but can try.

If you really send your mum to old folks home, i rather u just go out and rent a house.

Why must she be the one leaving this home when she has slog her entire life paying this home with your dad and in turn you are the one grabbing hold of it?

It is like saying she pay for the home and you need money so you force her to sell the home so as to satisfy your needs.

Not right la brother... you can be a fucker a scammer or whatever it is but you really cannot treat your only next of kin like that.

Even if you really one day sway tio tangled up with the law, i am sure your lao bu wont leave you loh.

Agree with above,

and what makes you think the girl will not become like your mum after she stays with you after a year or two

[iwantfree]

Thanks essinine,
I have always think she need a companion. But try to arrange a partnar with her without result.:(
maybe your mother need a man? a companion?


Thanks stillgotheblue,

I know but hard to make stubborn people accept that they need professional help.:(
I believe your mother had some mental or physiology issue. You should seek professional help instead.

Hi Hugs,

Thanks and I appreciate but i think you have not been through what i have gone through, so easy to talk with your mouth. I ask for advice to see if there is anyway which i have not yet try but too bad....:(

Talk is cheap...i can give the same advice to my friends like what you said but if it cannot workout with real human beings, what can i do??

But nevermind because your level of understanding is not there yet.....give you good blessing...
Personally, I think you have a very selfish mindset. I feel sorry for your mum. Just my personal opinion. You are not finding solution, you are not being a man about the problem, you are just being a selfish brat who wants things to go your way, no other way but yours. You

Thanks 3someking,

Finally i hear something i agree, we cannot choose if we bornt unhappy but if we die unhappy, it is really our fault. So i decide to make a change.:)
Lets not criticise TS or his mum.

The problem is that TS never choose to be in this kind of situation.

He was given this kind of life instead with no other choices to choose from.

If u are bornt unhappy, its not ur fault. If u die an unhappy person, then its ur fault.

[iwantfree]

Hi Greatdane88,

Thanks for your input, but too bad i just wanna said,...dont you understand from what i previously post, my mother scare off all girls and dont want me to date anyone.:(
I got one suggestion,

you talk to a girl and date her after your work.

Aft

Hi rtmFRs,

You are right, what make me think my girl will not behave like my mum, I agree with you.

If your mum treat you like child when you are a child, it is normal. But if your mom is possesive of your life when you are my age, it is disaster, but if your girlfriend is possesive of you are 42 year, it is a blessing. Do you see it?
Agree with above,

and what makes you think the girl will not become like your mum after she stays with you after a year or two

[rtmFRs]

Hi rtmFRs,

You are right, what make me think my girl will not behave like my mum, I agree with you.

If your mum treat you like child when you are a child, it is normal. But if your mom is possesive of your life when you are my age, it is disaster, but if your girlfriend is possesive of you are 42 year, it is a blessing. Do you see it?

Well, just offering a different perspective
Every person has a different need for freedom vs possessive and it will change over time

In your condition now, you are easy "KC" prey ,so don't get involved with WL,FLs,etc
They can smell you all the way from chinatown to geylang

[Intltuk]

TS, getting counseling doesn't mean ur mum wearing straightjacket or saying `mum u've a mental problem and need to see doctor' :(. It is a normal `doctor' visit in the pretext of health check or something.


Seems like ur mum don't hve much friends....maybe get her involve in a community centre near ur house to help her develop her outlook thru' interactive activities and making new friends.

I know it's easy to give advice....and it's hard to carry out the advice but as it's ur mum.....u hve to bear the burden of getting her help bec in the long term, she will appreciate it and u will hve a more normal life.

[tambi8]

From all the posting here, I think your mother need some professional help , will be good if yourself seek help too. I may be wrong but if you are my friend or relative, that will be my advice

[xuanz]

Im of a younger generation than you. But i hope my few cents of thoughts can help you.

I feel that maybe your mom is very dependent of you since your dad passed away. Its not easier in the first place to convince a older generation that they are wrong or they shoudl change smething esp old ppl. They dont like changes.

I did not read throught the whole thread but maybe your mom needs to see a psychiatrist. But its a taboo thing to them, they think see psychiatrist is for crazy people and they are not crazy. Play with words. You can consult a counsellor. The funny thing is, something what you say they wont listen but they will listen to others.

All the best.

[happigirl]

TS,

At 42 u should be already old enough to be someone father, it unbelievable up to now u don't even have a decent dating due to your quoted reasons. IMHO, you should try to widen your mother social circle, arranging her to participate RC or CC activities, make new friends, eventually when she have more companions, I believe she will gradually rely less on you:)

I agree on what bro Blast88 said...at 42, you are way over the 21 year old age to be legally independent and know what life path you want in life. I have seen single mums who dictate everything that their "boy" does so you are not alone.

Don't feel that you have no solution cos others who are in the same situation have found support in each other.

It's good that you are a filial child and know that your mum only have you to support her emotionally and financially. It may be a good idea to get a close relative to speak to her (in a tactful way) instead of you telling her directly. Good to get her involved in local activities or arrange gatherings with other relatives to have more friends (emotional support) as mentioned above.

It's wise to reassure her that you will find a wife who will get along well with her and go out with her to keep her company. It is true that quite a number of men choose wives who please their mums before thinking about compatibility with themselves...

Therefore, don't loose heart...with a little bit of luck, you will have the family that you longed for :)

Hugs, happigirl <3

[emogirl]

You're torn between being a good son and an independent adult. You need to talk to your mother and let her know how you feel. After all, I'm sure she wants you to be happy. If she doesn't then that's a different problem altogether. Hope you get to meet a good girl one day!

[wantanabee]

Dear TS, how have things progress?

I'll keep telling her on and off that I'm getting married. Just cook a story of a GF going together and married. See how her response?

Say you need to carry on the family line. See her response?

Bring her out for dinner and ask your friend to pose as your GF see how she react.

Slow instill into her mind that you will get married but still live with her etc. of course the living tgt part will be at your wife decision.

My mum also kinda protective over my bro n me. She think shes selling her sons to other women. But she's not as extreme as your mom. But situtation is uncomparable as my dad is still around. But my point is they have the same mentality.

[discordpiggy]

Dear Discordpiggy,

I dont really consider myself as a mamma's boy becoz i dont allow her to interfere with my job life, salary and the friends i have. I just cannot ditch her thats all.

I have go holiday once every 3-4 months but usually keep it to 3 days 2 night type but as usual, she will complain she cannot sleep at night when i am away.

At 18 yr when my father passed away, i cannot see the impact yet and of course could not reject her want to sleep in same room because it left the two of us in my family at that point of time.

Some of the things i have try but without results like
1) talking on phone to girls (see below for further info),
2) tell her i need personal space many times, but you know the answer.
3) My door cannot lock because all are damage:D,
4) i have left a unused condom once about 4 years back, she found it keep nagging at me till now about how danger it is to get STD and HIV to play outside.

You have freedom since age 5-6yrs, this shows your parents different from mine, at that age you cannot decide for yourself.

Watching porn in front of her? of course i wont but she like to change her clothes even her bra and panties in front of me as if i am a baby dont know anything. I think she dont mind more than me.

Nonooonoo.. you cannot ditch her! I also no agree that you ditch her! not ditch her and send her away but get her to also address this issue together.

You just need your own space and freedom, that's the issue. I think your mom may have developed some psychological possessive issues like Hoarding issues compulsive hoarding and the possession is You itself. she may also use you as a substitute for the lost of your dad.

This will need psychological and medical help with counselling.

Of course you can't see it when you are 18yo because you lost your dad and it's just you and your mom so naturally at 18yo, it seems alright.

1. you need to get your door lock fixed la bro! :p
2. leave more unused condoms around then! wahahah!!! the moment she nag, you said you going out with the condoms!!!
3. serious, pack your bags and move out for few days.

The part about nagging, I think you should just walk away whenever she starts. do not answer her back or argue with her. but just walk away, leave your home, go for a walk or something watever, just do not be around when she nags at you. I stress that you do not answer back at her or argue with her because that will encourage her to continue to nag more and more and may even irritate her.

You are being hoarded like a piece of belongings and you need to seek help for your mom like many of the bros said. Do it fast! Regardless you going to find gf, get married watever, have a FWB etc, bottom line, you still need your own personal time. that's the primary objective.

The bit about changing in front of you till now is erm... not really acceptable cos erm... she's MOM and you are like 42yo... erm maybe your gf do that is fine la wahahahhaah!!!!

hmmm... i always had my own room since young and my parents still knock door, wait for me to answer before they come in, if i do not close my door while sleeping, my mom will close it for me. hhahahah!!!

good luck bro iwantfree!