I'm lost

[optiplex80]

Hi all, my wife and I been ROM for 2 years and I had just found out from her recent trip oversea with her mum in a tour group, she met this younger guy.

I admit our relationship do have their problems such as I'm busy with work and my part-time studies but she expected me to have a degree soon. She has always ask for my paper credit card bills every month but I'm quite reluctant to give because I feel there should be a mutual trust and I don't have problem letting her see the online version.

After her trip, I happen come across her phone where this guy seem to msg her often and after checking I found out she went out with this guy while she told me she was going out with ex-colleagues.

I really lose my trust in her and I'm pretty lost. We are lucky that we don't have any children so it's not that complicated but we do have a 4-room HDB home.

After reading the message, then I understand why she sat down and wanted to talk to me a few days ago. She claim she was unhappy and have lost the feel so she was asking for some space and time between both of us. She also added that why not both of us go out and meet other people. I feel she was quickly trying to justified what's she doing behind my back.

I'm really lost......

[HappyOwl]

I feel she was quickly trying to justified what's she doing behind my back.

I'm really lost......

Bro. optiplex80, I feel for you.

It is good to know there are no children involved at this point of time. You are also right to feel she was quickly trying to justified her actions. Most/ all ladies do that. Isn't it?

I can't advice you what to do but I can share with you a short story of mine but I bite the bullet very-very hard when I said 'OK'. ;)

One of my previous girlfriend came to me one day, talked very nicely to me to seek permission to go out with a guy who had been trying very hard yet very patiently wanting to win her heart. The patience is measured by easily six years and counting. Without questioning much, I only asked two questions:

1) When is the date?

2) How long will the date takes?

3) I said OK.

Guess what? This guy who is doing very well in his career, driving a nice car, given my previous girlfriend a potential security and gentleman feel all along... FLUNG his first date with her bad time. :p

[zedia]

Hi all, my wife and I been ROM for 2 years and I had just found out from her recent trip oversea with her mum in a tour group, she met this younger guy.

I admit our relationship do have their problems such as I'm busy with work and my part-time studies but she expected me to have a degree soon. She has always ask for my paper credit card bills every month but I'm quite reluctant to give because I feel there should be a mutual trust and I don't have problem letting her see the online version.

After her trip, I happen come across her phone where this guy seem to msg her often and after checking I found out she went out with this guy while she told me she was going out with ex-colleagues.

I really lose my trust in her and I'm pretty lost. We are lucky that we don't have any children so it's not that complicated but we do have a 4-room HDB home.

After reading the message, then I understand why she sat down and wanted to talk to me a few days ago. She claim she was unhappy and have lost the feel so she was asking for some space and time between both of us. She also added that why not both of us go out and meet other people. I feel she was quickly trying to justified what's she doing behind my back.

I'm really lost......

Hi Bro, I've been in a same situation as you before, go for a cool off period (give a timeline) and see whether the R/S works again, if not just move on, I know its hard. I just cant stand my wife doing something behind my back.

For me, my ex wife does not want to leave the guy she met even though i'm willing to forgive her, what worse, found lots of intimate photos between the 2 of them in bed one week before my part-time degree exams. this drag on for a few months until i decided to file for a divorce. This had affected so bad that I had to see a psychiatrist, took me about a year to recover.

Suggest that you apply for a few days leave and find someone close to talk to or even talk to a family counselor, this may help a bit but a lot depends on yourself. Be strong Bro.

Regards

[runfishyrun]

Bro! I think this is gonna be super hard to accept.
Depends on what kinda of person you are also. I myself am quite possessive and cannot stand the thought of sharing my wife/gf with any other guys...
Sometimes even when i see my ex pics with their current bf i still feel a bit sore inside..

Hope things become better for you.
Take it easy bro!

[pitless]

luckily i do not trust women.

I can only say move on since it is a lose lose situation.

I rather make her regretting for her decision.

[jnudes]

From the way you mention looks like the marriage won't last very long.

It's not that I want you guys to divorce but when the relationship gone sour its very hard to mend it back to the original position.

You are quite lucky because you are childless and don't have to worry again after the divorce and can start a single life again. Good luck bro!

[SnowLeopards]

Listen mate, let me be honest with you. This relationship ain't going to work. When a woman looks for another man, it is end of the story. Whatever reason she is going to provide you, it is plain bullshit.

Instead of being lost, focus on your education and career. Naturally, the woman part will fall in place. Take care.

Pierre.

[lespaul]

luckily i do not trust women.

I can only say move on since it is a lose lose situation.

I rather make her regretting for her decision.

Trust is trust, love is love. Mixing them up won't make you happier.

:)

[woohooo]

This definitely won't be easy... :(

But I do agree that both of you should explore some time apart (e.g. 3 to 6 months) and see how things progress from there. It might just be a temporary thing for her...

However, I think both of you should find out the 'root cause'. The younger guy could just be a symptom of a deeper problem between the 2 of you. If the 'root cause' is not fixed, another similar episode could happen again in future.

It would take lots of guts, strength & tears if the both of you still want to salvage the relationship.

Good luck!!!

[arsenal_84]

For me, my ex wife does not want to leave the guy she met even though i'm willing to forgive her, what worse, found lots of intimate photos between the 2 of them in bed one week before my part-time degree exams. this drag on for a few months until i decided to file for a divorce. This had affected so bad that I had to see a psychiatrist, took me about a year to recover.


for your case in particular, you should have pull the plug as soon as you found out.
cause the negative effects of such discovery is sure to affect you in the long run in terms of your kpi at work and your part time studies.

as for TS case, the moment you stop trusting her is as good as the rs is gone.
perhaps the real underlying cause of the issue is emotional needs, you can try to re-chase her again to see of she feels the same if not, then is time to let go.
while is easier said than done to let go, you really have to take care of your own sanity.
no matter how screw up the world is, so long as your mental will is strong, i believe one can get through anything.

[Ken79]

Bro, im glad u moved on from that bitch... they make a great 奸夫淫妇, the man got a woman who was attached and willing to betray her fiance for him, the woman got a man who was immoral and would go after anyone in his sight.
karma goes full circle, just a matter of time what they did to u will be repeated on themselves.

i hope your studies n work goes well, and u will meet your better half soon.
take care