Angry Wife

[LongJohn76]

Dear All ,

I'm actually married for three years. On and off I will always fight with my wife. We fight over small and big issues. Every time she would want to move out. So I had to pacify her. All this become less frequent. But now she is back again. Little things she will scold me and pull a long face. Even the things I forget to put back she will be very angry with me.
Today. I am suppose to pick her up at the customs pick up point. But the area is no waiting and parking. So I message her I will be waiting on another side. If she come over I will be driving down to pick her up. So latter I received a message saying she waited for half and hour. After picking her up . She pull a long face. I have to send her back to the pick up point. Then I message her . Maybe we should look into our relationship again. Because we don't see eye to eye in almost everything.

1) should I give in to her again.
2) should I just pretend nothing happen. She already pack her bags and go and stay else where.

Regards

[crood]

Y not u ask her to call u when she reach? Both of u like communication breakdown, u never give clear instructions?

[Big Sexy]

she probably have enough of you then..
time to go separate ways


She already pack her bags and go and stay else where.

[oxeso]

[QUOTE=LongJohn76;9996238]

1) should I give in to her again.
2) should I just pretend nothing happen. She already pack her bags and go and stay else where.

IMHO,
1) R/s should always be give n take. For how long can u tahan if it's a 1 way street?

2) Not a gd idea. Have to work on it if u still want her. Do u?

Gd luck,bro.:)

[Blast88]

Dear All ,

I'm actually married for three years. On and off I will always fight with my wife. We fight over small and big issues. Every time she would want to move out. So I had to pacify her. All this become less frequent. But now she is back again. Little things she will scold me and pull a long face. Even the things I forget to put back she will be very angry with me.
Today. I am suppose to pick her up at the customs pick up point. But the area is no waiting and parking. So I message her I will be waiting on another side. If she come over I will be driving down to pick her up. So latter I received a message saying she waited for half and hour. After picking her up . She pull a long face. I have to send her back to the pick up point. Then I message her . Maybe we should look into our relationship again. Because we don't see eye to eye in almost everything.

1) should I give in to her again.
2) should I just pretend nothing happen. She already pack her bags and go and stay else where.

Regards

TS, to what u describe your wife might be in hormones disorder, Pl bring her to see doctor, by the way how old is your wife??

[ah rat]

TS,have a nice talk with yr wife.Tell her about her temper.Any problem with sex life with her :D

[wally888]

is she the impatient type before u marry her:confused:

[maxsee]

Try to work things out bah....coz the thing about divorce is...it is going to burn a huge hole in your wallet...:D:D:D

[Jamesleejamesle]

Bro,
Ask yourself if u want to save the marriage.
Then ask her.
If both of u want, then go and see a marriage councillor. I believe every race n religion should have some sort of marriage councillor available which is free, priest or at the ROM or whatever. Don't go for the ones that is paid one, unless u don't mind paying.
It is always best to listen the advice of someone who is more experienced in these matters.
And good luck!

[prettymannequin]

she probably have enough of you then..
time to go separate ways

Not really. It's probably a shit test to see if TS still wants her or not. If he doesn't react or wants to separate, she'll give up on him as well. But as long as he asks her back, she'll feel like she's still wanted.

TS, it's just a communication problem. Hopefully you guys can iron this out somehow.

[stillgottheblue]

Why don't TS reflect on all your actions first?

[esssinine]

thats it! screw marriage i gonna get me a dog ! :p

[Sexyboi12345678]

have a talk and try to sort it out

[hardworking48]

TS, don't be so fast to throw in the towel. You are only married for 3 years and I believe both of you are still adjusting to living together.

Maybe I think you are really the type of guy that is untidy and put stuff here and there without putting back, never talk properly and make her wait unnecessarily etc.... Guys can be very careless or "chin chai" attitude which can really get on the nerve of another person if it happens too often.

I am a guy and I get pissed off with people who use my stuff and put it elsewhere instead of where it is supposed to be and I also hate waiting!

I think you should also take a good look at yourself before you go blaming your marriage (or wife) problem cos even if you re-married again, the vicious cycle will happen again unless you change.

[LongJohn76]

Thank you bro. You really know who I am. I really look up to you.

[MrSeahLK]

Bro TS

Correct me if i am wrong. That is sort of mental disorder. Did she often demand for unreasonable or impractical need? Did she throw temper easily? Did she blame people for her poor planning or caught up? Did she often try to take advantage or cheating without care for consequence? Did she insist she is right even clear cut that she is at fault?
If she carry most of the above symptom, IMHO, not much you can do.

Take care

[acepoint]

TS, you married a wife to show u long face and keep angry with you and you still keep her to continue all these to you :confused:
How long u can take it?

[lixiao17]

Dear All ,

I'm actually married for three years. On and off I will always fight with my wife. We fight over small and big issues. Every time she would want to move out. So I had to pacify her. All this become less frequent. But now she is back again. Little things she will scold me and pull a long face. Even the things I forget to put back she will be very angry with me.
Today. I am suppose to pick her up at the customs pick up point. But the area is no waiting and parking. So I message her I will be waiting on another side. If she come over I will be driving down to pick her up. So latter I received a message saying she waited for half and hour. After picking her up . She pull a long face. I have to send her back to the pick up point. Then I message her . Maybe we should look into our relationship again. Because we don't see eye to eye in almost everything.

1) should I give in to her again.
2) should I just pretend nothing happen. She already pack her bags and go and stay else where.
Regards

TS, don't be so fast to throw in the towel. You are only married for 3 years and I believe both of you are still adjusting to living together...

...I think you should also take a good look at yourself before you go blaming your marriage (or wife) problem cos even if you re-married again, the vicious cycle will happen again unless you change.

TS, like what bro hardworking48 mentioned, you should really do some self reflection first before blaming on your wife (not saying that she is not at fault or whatsoever, cos we don't know anything about/between you and her).
I'm sure many of us have experience this, many times when couples fight or argue are due to tiny issues rather serious matters. It is always due to lack of communication and consideration for the other party feeling.
We always expect the other party (he/she) should be more understanding on how we feel but fail to express to them on how we feel for them.

When things happen, we have to learn how to de-escalate the tension through communication rather than escalating it by exchange of words and blah blah blah... I know it easier to say than doing it but we got to start somewhere or somehow...

In my opinion, should you give in to her or not? Over and over 'again' is not the question. I believes this is not what they wanted. We guys always do it such as "OK, OK, you win lah" or "OK, OK, sorry loh", this only make the other party feel that they are unreasonable or stubborn, which don't really help much...

The key is, don't see how/what they behave but to understand the reason/why they do it. Let them know that we understand what they been through and how they feel first and then explain the difficulties why we unable to delivered.

The event maybe the same but the outcome/result maybe alots of difference.

Hope this help. :)

[otamay]

I think TS need to sit down and have a frank talk to find out why the hostile treatment.
Just married for three years only, wonder how to continue to live for the rest of your life with such treatment :mad:

[(o)(o) Tuner]

TS, are you and your wife still sexually active? Does your wife pull a long face too while having sex?

[jameschong1]

TS, to what u describe your wife might be in hormones disorder, Pl bring her to see doctor, by the way how old is your wife??
===========
menopause?
or the bugger did not satisfy her, so she pek chek

[Hanster]

Sigh.. She packed her bags? Let her be. Anyway, good that she takes this time to cool off. You cool off too. Always give in to her, might not be such a good idea.

Such a small matter anyway. Take it cool bro.

[Fornicators]

Hi TS

After she pack her bag and go, did she ever call you and need you to accompany her? Whether she miss you or not?

Hope she will come back to you

[hunter12]

bro TS, like most other bros had mention.....

1 - ask urself deep in ur heart do u love her,
2 - do u want to save this marrige

apart from throwing unreasonable temper did she do other things... affair, hurting ur families etc...

let her go only when ur love for her is dead.. let her go only when you do not want this marrige anymore but not because of her throwing temper etc.. casue, next time round u married, another diff girl will throw temper to u also. ppl to ppl is all about give n take... cause no 2 person are exactly the same, thinking the same, action the same, know each other in n out.. all these only happen in stupid romance show than cause us guy alot of problems... haha..

find out what is the cause for her to throw such a big temper everytime, for example, she spend effort to pack n arrange things nicely at home but yet u just anyhow put after using it... so who fault? n if she still want to carry on this mariage.. if she still want to than have a gd talk with her n solve thing out peacefully.... dont anyhow mention 'divorce' .... nowsaday, marrige n divorce is v v simple, just a piece of paper but what come after it can seriously destroy one life.

[localguylor]

Dear All ,

1) should I give in to her again.
2) should I just pretend nothing happen. She already pack her bags and go and stay else where.

Regards

Hi bro,

End of the day, we r still guy. Be a gentleman and give in to our gal lor.
After all she is still a gal, need to coach de lor, pamper de lor.

That's what separate a man from a boy.

Remember, giving in doesn't mean we scare of our wife, it's because we respect our wife. :)

When your mood settle down, go get her back!

[Risis]

I was reading generally,and I saw this post.
Like many of others here suffering the same issues,
Most of the bros here are rather supportive of staying together and working things out. That warms my heart to read.

Marriage is not to be taken lightly. Two persons coming to this stage - too many things have been swept under the carpet. Its time to trash things out face to face and not avoid another quarrel. There's always a way to work things out.

[PowerTAN_P_W]

if you make an effort to upgrade your 'seh' to the level of Power Tan, you can easily remain 'zai' like a general in the battlefield with your angry wife shouting and screaming all over the place. no amounts of yelling and threatening shall affect you as you will have full control of your emotions and it is only a matter of time your wife will realise the transformation of your 'seh' and bow down naturally to your new found supremacy. ;)

Rgds,
Ah Wee

[MassageExpert]

Dear All ,

I'm actually married for three years. On and off I will always fight with my wife. We fight over small and big issues. Every time she would want to move out. So I had to pacify her. All this become less frequent. But now she is back again. Little things she will scold me and pull a long face. Even the things I forget to put back she will be very angry with me.
Today. I am suppose to pick her up at the customs pick up point. But the area is no waiting and parking. So I message her I will be waiting on another side. If she come over I will be driving down to pick her up. So latter I received a message saying she waited for half and hour. After picking her up . She pull a long face. I have to send her back to the pick up point. Then I message her . Maybe we should look into our relationship again. Because we don't see eye to eye in almost everything.

1) should I give in to her again.
2) should I just pretend nothing happen. She already pack her bags and go and stay else where.

Regards

Talk to her about your feelings and see how she react.

[Austere]

First choice , convince her to proceed with divorce without taking a single cent from u.

If not possible please save your marriage and try again and again.


Second choice, go on holiday with her , get back to honey moon period, now December , please clear your leave with her . Go resort also can , and then fark her damn hard , and it should help for a while, rinse and repeat if this works.

[pleasurehobby]

Dear All ,

I'm actually married for three years. On and off I will always fight with my wife. We fight over small and big issues. Every time she would want to move out. So I had to pacify her. All this become less frequent. But now she is back again. Little things she will scold me and pull a long face. Even the things I forget to put back she will be very angry with me.
Today. I am suppose to pick her up at the customs pick up point. But the area is no waiting and parking. So I message her I will be waiting on another side. If she come over I will be driving down to pick her up. So latter I received a message saying she waited for half and hour. After picking her up . She pull a long face. I have to send her back to the pick up point. Then I message her . Maybe we should look into our relationship again. Because we don't see eye to eye in almost everything.

1) should I give in to her again.
2) should I just pretend nothing happen. She already pack her bags and go and stay else where.

Regards

Hi TS,

I think you need to understand and find out the root of the problem. No amtter what kind of front a woman put ups, her issues are always emotional. If she is showing u attitude and giving u a black face, it most probably means there is something she is EXPECTING you to know or do, but obviously you are not doing, or asking her.

Sometimes woman expects man to be psychic, read their minds. Though this is rather absurb, this is a common perception is 95% of the females. So just try to be a intelligent shelock homes, smell some clues, trial and error, whatever. As long as you are trying, the issues will slowly but gradually be uncovered.

Remember, it is always an EMOTIONAL issues.

my humble 2 cents,
Jason
pleasurehobby.com

[celcius]

Just thought I'd voice my opinion on this and hope it helps you.

As you said, you're married, and remember the things you said during the vow or during the exchange of wedding rings when you two got married. Always remember how you two got together, how difficult it was, what you two went through together to be able to be able to rightfully claim the other as your spouse.

I see two major issues in your relationship.
- Lack of Communication
- Insensitivity

Lack of Communication:
I think you two should try to have regular talks between each other. Assess what you two are thinking towards each other and also try to talk out problems and possible resolutions to tackle things. However minor it may seem, even an attempt to talk it out to resolve the issue, is also an attempt to making the relationship work right. It may even take frequent talks in the long run for you two to accept/change/adapt to each others habits/attitude/personalities. Also, after talking, do remember to act. If you're afraid you forget, write it down. And look at it on a regular basis.

Insensitivity:
One thing i learnt from my girl is that they can be VERY sensitive to every single minor detail that we do (say or act). We might not even realize it, but try to make an effort to ask if she's feeling okay, what you may do to make her feel okay, or what she needs to be able to accept. Show her your attempt in trying to rectify the issue. It takes a huge effort to smoothen this but I believe every effort counts towards the final goal.

I'm also into a relationship, for 3 years, I basically experienced similar things you are experiencing. Not in the event details itself, but like yours, my girl is usually unhappy most of the time because of me. It takes two hands to clap. But most of the time, we guys have to clap harder.

[sgjoey]

She has already packed and left, right?

What you do next depends on whether you want to remain married to her.

If it were me, I wouldn't bother. At the very least, for he next few weeks, I would use my new found freedom and experience what it's like to be single again.

[ahTay]

My wife also frequently throw temper no matter her fault or my fault

If i try to explain or clarify, she will goes crazy.

All i can do is keep quite and let her be. After awhile she quite herself.

[Johnbass]

If that's the kind if relationship during dating, it will be the same during marriage...
Though some couple think they can change one another... Until they realized they can't.
You choose your own spouse and life.
Good luck!
:)

[GeorgeCostanza]

If that's the kind if relationship during dating, it will be the same during marriage...


This is very good advice

[bbmapple]

Hi TS

my situation abit similar.. But I am the wife... Married for 4 years. Pak tor 4 years.

I am not trying to side ladies but probably give u an idea of what happened "inside" and emotionally... To make a loving wife transform into angry wife... Hope u don't mind.

(1) My husband drives to fetch me sometimes. But every time he will tell me to wait at the place where he can pick me easily. Do u realize, women wear high heels, put on makeup, and still want to look presentable and fresh when get into the car? So since u are driving, why can't u go the inconvenient route to pick up the wife.... Do u really expect the woman to walk out of the way for u to fetch her? To be honest, other men out there WILL BE more ready than u are to pick up your wife!!! So if u offer to pick up the wife, go all out to pick her! Don't complain don't whine. Or else, don't cry when other guys fetch her and send her on your behalf .... Think of the times when u were dating, do u wait there 15 mins before she arrives or u let her wait half an hour???

(2) women thrive on attention from the person she loves. Why do u think she pack up and go stay somewhere else!!?? To make u angry? To irritate u? To see if u cry? To force u to offer her the D option? Please la..... To pack up and go, do u know how tiring it is? Why don't u try to roleplay when u are alone at home, tell me how much time & effort 1 person will need when packing up to leave the home?? Some more, she came back every time isn't it??? I think she loves u, but probably lacking the attention + passion which u showered on her when u guys were dating..... Plus, women DO HAVE ego!! To leave then come back again, it is quite embarrassing too! Given the same situation, do u think u can put up with the embarrassment??

(3) "don't see eye to eye in almost everything" ..... Hmm, which 2 Humans can?? Look at your own parents, or friends.... Their supposedly happy marriage is also give and take. No 2 persons are complete match.... If she had been putting up with u for the last 3 years of marriage, it is only fair that she gets to vent her frustration too.... Your wife is not perfect but, U are not perfect too! Marriage is not supposed to enter foolishly and end so easily.... A divorce won't solve the problem!

Take care TS
Good luck as well

My own marriage is in a mess now. I hope men can be more sensitive to women, especially during that time of the month. We also get scared of our own emotional roller coaster at times!!

[Peter83]

True

I always stop the car somewhere nearby and free to stop. Once my wife call me on hp telling me she is really then i drive to pick her up and go


(1) My husband drives to fetch me sometimes. But every time he will tell me to wait at the place where he can pick me easily. Do u realize, women wear high heels, put on makeup, and still want to look presentable and fresh when get into the car? So since u are driving, why can't u go the inconvenient route to pick up the wife.... Do u really expect the woman to walk out of the way for u to fetch her? To be honest, other men out there WILL BE more ready than u are to pick up your wife!!! So if u offer to pick up the wife, go all out to pick her! Don't complain don't whine. Or else, don't cry when other guys fetch her and send her on your behalf .... Think of the times when u were dating, do u wait there 15 mins before she arrives or u let her wait half an hour???

[cocky1234]

HI TS

i think you should give up your relationship with this kind of woman, my exgf is same attitude as your wife. EVERYTHING IS SHE IS RIGHT and you are WRONG. how long can you stand her ? i cannot stand my exgf because communication breakdown and she wont think logic and caused me made serious mistakes in my life and it does cost me dearly.

For example, she keep saying that i dont love here, even thought i already give full attention to her, whatever she wants, i buy for her. till i run dry on my savings (a total of $20K) till one point she demand a freaking DIOR BAG cost @ $5k. that time i already bankrupt and need to borrow money from parents to cover my daily expenses. She still dares to scold me i dont love her because i dont want to buy her that freaking bag!!!. As a result, i finally break up with her, after all the suffering for 1 year and 3 months together, i lost all my sayings n in debt with parents, lost concentration on my work and my performance drop, keep thinking about her problems and solve her shit. Even when i sick and i want to rest, she will think i dont want to care about her and will find ways to get attentions, such as want me go out shopping with her and pay all her shopping expenses even im SICK WITH FEVER!!.

TS, please give up ur relationship with your wife, your wife is same as my exgf (only she is right and you are wrong) have one mental condition called "depression" and have a mentality the whole world most follow her orders.

im sorry that you have married to her, because all the divorce procedures and split your assets will be a heart-pain experience.

[Johnbass]

(1) My husband drives to fetch me sometimes. But every time he will tell me to wait at the place where he can pick me easily. Do u realize, women wear high heels, put on makeup, and still want to look presentable and fresh when get into the car? So since u are driving, why can't u go the inconvenient route to pick up the wife.... Do u really expect the woman to walk out of the way for u to fetch her? To be honest, other men out there WILL BE more ready than u are to pick up your wife!!! So if u offer to pick up the wife, go all out to pick her! Don't complain don't whine. Or else, don't cry when other guys fetch her and send her on your behalf .... Think of the times when u were dating, do u wait there 15 mins before she arrives or u let her wait half an hour???



Now I surf sbf while waiting for wifey...
:eek:

[massagemmaniac]

I have been through similar situations as well and is in the final stage of finalizing our divorce. Kids are involve and it is no doubt will be painful.

I have been trying really hard to save up our marriage but then she doesn't want to continue anymore. She doesn't even want to try making our relationship works anymore.

She had not been working for many years and she started to work few months ago which makes her financially capable which I think is also one of the factor that contributes her even stronger decision to end this marriage.

I have hinted to her for years that she should not be too close with those friends who will influence her as all her friends are either divorcees or have affairs outside. But then she doesn't listen to me as usual.
She used to be not a local but I make her a local few years ago after we married.

About more than a year and a half ago, she started with facebook and playing social apps on her mobile.
Everyday when I came home from work, I will see her playing with her phone most of the time and let the kids play themselves messing up the house. When I came home and see the kids with the mess, I will scold them and ask them to clean up.
They are still too young to understand but then I can see them trying to clean up when I scold them. The problem is my wife feels that I am scolding her instead and blaming her.
When I starts to ask my wife why let the kids mess the whole place, she gets angry and will flare up her temper.
I tried to speak to her but she deny she keeps on playing on her phone which I have doubts as even when I am at home, I can see her keep on pressing her phone or chatting around. So don't even need to say when I am not at home.

She even starts to play until 2-3am which I find it hard to believe that she is not playing with her phone most of the time.
About a year ago, I found out that she had been chatting online with different people. And she can even chat until late night sometimes on the phone with “overseas friends”.
I know as I have been paying for her phone bills and everything since I married her 8 years ago.

I try to talk to her concerning that she is sleeping late and will affect her health. But then she completely ignores my concern. This makes me feel totally frustrated and sad.
I begin to feel sad and depressed as I know she had been chatting with “friends” late into the night daily. Her action of secrecy and almost always wait until I fell asleep before she goes to the living room to “chat” makes me feel extremely depressed.
How I know is because when I wake up in the middle of the night, she is still pressing her phone and chatting in the living room.
At that time, she was still a housewife and she can sleep during the day while my kids are in halfday childcare. Of course she had to send them to the childcare centre first in the morning before she can get back to sleep.
Most of the days, I have to delay going to work since I have wake her up to send the kids to school before I go to work.

She had been a really responsible mum and wife who does all housework really good for years. But then things started to change eversince she started playing with smartphone. I felt that she started to neglect housework although she keep on denying and say that I keep on scolding her which I really didn’t. Of course sometimes the way I talk to her can be really firm which she hates it. But then she just doesn’t understand that I am trying to teach her to prioritise housework.
She started saying that she had not enough time to do housework etc.

Every night she still continues to chat online with “friends”. I know things are not that simple as it may seem to be as she started to tell me about her online friends so and so.
I have tried telling her to sleep early in the middle of the night but then she continues to ignore. I start to feel totally depressed and feel suspicious. But then I choose to close one eye and tell myself that nothing is wrong.
Of course deep in my heart, I feel unbalanced and sad. I started not to be close physically to her and try to distance myself from her physically.
This became an excuse for her even further to end our marriage in the later part.

She started to insist to go out to work and employ maid to look after the child which I resist as I do not want my kids to grow up in the “maid” environment.
I have tried to explain to her and tell her it might be better to send the kids to full day child care instead. But she refuse.
In the end, she manage to find some aunty to help pickup my kids from school and look after them until I finish work.

She started working about half a year ago and things get even worse. Due to the nature of her work, she had to work until late and can only reach home just before midnight.
But then things even gets worse ever when she started to go out every few days until late into the night 2-3 am. I tried to stay until when she reaches home considering that I still have to work the next morning.
I am concern about her and start to ask where she goes etc. She always gives reasons which I find it hard to believe saying that she goes out to have supper etc.
But then I still trusted her and try to talk to her explaining that kids might be affected and if she can come back earlier, she should to spend some time with the kids.
She tried coming home earlier for about 1-2 weeks before going back to her usual late night lifestyle again. She started to go clubbing and sometimes don’t even come home.
Still I close my eyes and try to talk to her that her action will indirectly affect our kids. But she insist that she wants to go out with her friends to relax herself.
All this while, almost all the housework are done by me. Of course kids homework, revisions etc. are also supervised and taught by me.

Two months ago, unintentionally, I have manage to access to her email and I saw pictures which makes me feel devastated. She had use apps to amend photos of her and a guy to be physically close.
She had never done such things for me before which I have. I just save up the pictures and forward them to her while she is at work. She didn’t reply and didn’t even bother to explain.
I waited until at night and starts to talk to her. She then starts blaming me saying that all these are cause by me and I have been scolding her everyday and ignoring being close to her physically etc.
She doesn’t realise that I am under extreme depressions or she doesn’t even bother.

I try to talk to her and tell her that as long as she can stop communicating with that guy, I can forget about the past but then she refuse.
I initiate my first divorce to her and ask her to consider. But then I backed up days later realising that I still love her deeply and want to save our marriage.
All this while, she still continues her lifestyle of going to clubbing every few days and almost came home late daily, earliest is 2-3am and sometimes in the morning or didn’t even come home.
I try to talk to her and ask her to spend more time with our kids as they really miss her a lot since she started working. But then she again blames me that this is what I want and keep on saying that I have been scolding her while she is a housewife.
My intentions was never to scold her but trying to tell her to prioritise her work. Of course I scold my kids but indirectly she feels offended and felt that she had no control over anything in this family.
She initiate divorce and starts to bring up the topic of employing maid again which I refuse. She also blame me for not bringing her out often for many years but she didn’t realise that I have been trying to cope with the household expenses all along.
She also starts to blame me that I even refuse to bring her and the kids to take a walk nearby.
She never realise that I have been really working hard at work, most of the time even weekends. Everytime I reaches home, it is usually quite late and the kids have school the next day.

I told her we should go marriage counselling but then she refuse. Okay. I take a step back and say we should probably give ourselves a year time to see whether our relationship still works.
Deep in my mind, I am just buying time for the divorce and try to convince her to withdraw her decision.
She begin to ignore my feelings as a husband and start telling me about this and that guy who she knows. All this while, she still continues to chat online on her mobile.
Everytime when I tell her not to keep on seeing and pressing her phone, she will gets angry. Even when she send my kids to childcare in the morning, she still listen to songs on her phone while walking.
I told her that she should spend some quality time with the kids by chatting to them. She ignore what I said.

I started to feel disappointed in her actions but still I want to save this marriage as I still do love her a lot and I do treasure her.
I tried to talk to her almost daily but she always end up putting the blame game on me. Until a point when I tell her, cast aside who is to blame. Whether does she still want to save this marriage. Her answer is quick and short.
She doesn’t want and this is the end of our marriage. Divorce can gives her freedom and she can do whatever she wants. She begin to tell me some guy who she really gets along with etc.
Almost every minute or so, her eyes are looking on the phone waiting for smses or online chats totally ignoring my feelings.
She agrees that the kids will be under my custody after divorce and ask me to allow her to see the kids daily which I agree.

I know this is probably the end of our marriage which I am still trying my best to convince her to come back to this family.

So bros and sis here please do spend more quality time with your wife/husband and kids and resist yourselves from looking into your smartphone every once and then.
Smartphones will tarnish relationships and mine is really good example.

[Johnbass]

So bros and sis here please do spend more quality time with your wife/husband and kids and resist yourselves from looking into your smartphone every once and then.
Smartphones will tarnish relationships and mine is really good example.

Sad sia... Trust is a fragile thing.
All the best!

[massagemmaniac]

Sad sia... Trust is a fragile thing.
All the best!

Bro,

Thanks for your wishes.
I do still hope that this relationship can work out and I do still love her a lot if not I wouldn't have to go through so much of sacrifice.
But then she doesn't see the things I do for her as loving her and insist that everything is my fault.

In my opinion, I think she probably still prefers guys to sweet talk her which I am lagging (I have always been a nerd and homely person) and chase her like a girlfriend showering her with their so called "love" instead of wanting someone who can be with her supporting her for whatever she is.

A bit of her background which I can only elaborate briefly to protect her is that I have given her identity as well as a Singaporean citizenship without any hesitations few years ago and I have made a lot of sacrifice and risks for her. Over the years, there are many blame games, physical and emotional abuses by her which landed me into deep depressions which I have to seek physchological treatment in order to cancel the suicidal thoughts.
But then even after all these sacrifices for her comes to nothing if she doesn't appreciates.

Very often, many people cannot see and appreciate those persons who are always standing by them and love them by doing things for them rather than the actions of "chasing" them which is short term.
But then if someone cannot appreciates and feel your love for her/him by the things that you have done for her/him, all the things that you have done is useless.

9 years of marriage is probably going to end really soon which I have always cherish.

[cocky1234]

massagemmaniac

BRo, sorry to hear that. i feel your pain. happen to my exgf, same situation. everything is my fault except hers,

btw, now you are single then can find a better woman to fill the role as a wife in your family. you dont need a bad woman in your life

[massagemmaniac]

massagemmaniac

BRo, sorry to hear that. i feel your pain. happen to my exgf, same situation. everything is my fault except hers,

btw, now you are single then can find a better woman to fill the role as a wife in your family. you dont need a bad woman in your life

Bro,

Thanks for understanding my pain.

The actual divorce process have not taken place yet which I expect to be starting to be soon.

For my kids, I will allow her to visit them whenever she wants to which I know will be daily. She can start having a new relationship with anyone she wanted to but I can't as I still loves her deeply. Painful but I just have to accept it since this is what she wanted which I respect.
In my heart, she is still part of this family even though she wanted to leave. She had said before she wanted to be with the kids but don't want to be with me.

I will also have to spend even more time with my kids which they need a lot of support and guidance.
Even until now, although I know it is less than 0.000000000000000001% chances that our marriage can be saved, I still hope that she can change her mind.
Say me stupid, yes I am but I am willing to be stupid to keep this marriage intact.
:(

[Johnbass]

Bro,

Thanks for your wishes.
I do still hope that this relationship can work out and I do still love her a lot if not I wouldn't have to go through so much of sacrifice...


Erm... U come sbf to catch your wifey ah?
:eek:

[demonhunter]

Erm... U come sbf to catch your wifey ah?
:eek:

Your mind have drifted too far and aloof :D

[cocky1234]

Bro,

Thanks for understanding my pain.

The actual divorce process have not taken place yet which I expect to be starting to be soon.

For my kids, I will allow her to visit them whenever she wants to which I know will be daily. She can start having a new relationship with anyone she wanted to but I can't as I still loves her deeply. Painful but I just have to accept it since this is what she wanted which I respect.
In my heart, she is still part of this family even though she wanted to leave. She had said before she wanted to be with the kids but don't want to be with me.

I will also have to spend even more time with my kids which they need a lot of support and guidance.
Even until now, although I know it is less than 0.000000000000000001% chances that our marriage can be saved, I still hope that she can change her mind.
Say me stupid, yes I am but I am willing to be stupid to keep this marriage intact.
:(

HI Bro, when i 1st breakup with my exgf, part of me wanted the relationship to continue and hope she will change her attitude and character ( but we must face the reality, a person character cannot be mold overnight) i do feel heart broken and cried for few days.

to me, breakup is the best option for me. i hope you will be strong and move on. ( AS YOU MOVE ON, TIME IS THE BEST MEDICINE TO HEAL YOUR PAIN )

[bbmapple]

Hey bro massagemmaniac

Sorry to hear your real life example.
But sometimes the wrong person just have to go. Be strong, for your children. It is not easy, just hang on.

My case is much simpler cos no kids. But from a woman perspective, it is also not easy to leave the husband and children. I am not sure what the other fellow has promised, but maybe u would like to get some friends of hers involved. So that she may be will open up to tell them what exactly is happening....

[massagemmaniac]

Hey bro massagemmaniac

Sorry to hear your real life example.
But sometimes the wrong person just have to go. Be strong, for your children. It is not easy, just hang on.

My case is much simpler cos no kids. But from a woman perspective, it is also not easy to leave the husband and children. I am not sure what the other fellow has promised, but maybe u would like to get some friends of hers involved. So that she may be will open up to tell them what exactly is happening....

Hi,

To minimize impact to my kids, I will allow her to visit them whenever she wants to but I definitely have to be prepare myself emotionally to take the be able to handle the situations which is obviously hard.

She wanted to move on her life without me and obviously if the kids goes to her custody, she will just employ a maid and leave the kids to the maid while she is able to continue to work and "play" outside. That's her intention which I think is definitely bad for the kids. She doesn't seems to bother about my kids upbringing or education which is my top most priority.

She had been pestering me to find a divorce lawyer to settle the case everyday which is emotionally hard for me as I still harbour "miracles" to happen and I pray everyday for miracles to happen. But then "miracles" doesn't seems to be in favor of me.
Her "so called" friends are almost all divorcees or woman with affairs so I don't see a point in asking them.

She had also been putting all blames for everything on me for so many years and out of sudden, she can just think of some incidents that happen years ago and then blame me again saying because of me, she can't do this and can't do that.
Just like few years ago when her grandma is really sick and she is pregnant with my first daughter which is due to be born within a month time.
I advise her that if she wanted to go back, she can but then she had to be prepared that my daughter might be born there (rural areas in a third world country) or might have complications. She thought about it and also feel that she should stay as she will feel extremely giddy and sick while on her way back.
In the end, she didn't go back and her grandma pass away. And just few days ago, she suddenly think of this and blame me again for everything.

Over so many years, she had been blaming me for many many things which causes me having frequent mental breakdowns or depressions and had to seek physcological treatments.
I have told her that and she doesn't seems to bother much.

Over the years, her parents and family had also been asking me for money to buy this and buy that (few thousands each time) which I am always relunctant to give but then give in after wife make fuss over few days.
And even if I give in, wife will say that it is because we quarrel then I relunctantly give in which is not out of my own will.
I have told her that giving monthly allowance to her parent is a must but then those "extras" are not necessary. And then she will start to compare how much I give my parent instead and make a fuss again.

I know that if she finds out that I am putting all this online, she will sure put the blame all on me again and add on to the divorce. But then this is the only channel that I can find some comfort and emotional support.
Now I can only leave it to fate and "miracles" to happen which I still have the intentions to save this marriage.

[esssinine]

bro massagemaniac where does your wife come from ?

[bbmapple]

Hey bro massagemmaniac

Probably start your own thread so that don't hijack TS efforts....
Not sure if TS minds....

Thanks.

[stillgottheblue]

Don't know what to say but take care physically and mentally. Keep finances strong and be prepared for the coming bad times.

[massagemmaniac]

Hey bro massagemmaniac

Probably start your own thread so that don't hijack TS efforts....
Not sure if TS minds....

Thanks.

Hi,

I think I am done with the sharing of my story as I don't think there is anything more I can do to save up this marriage as the decision doesn't lies with me.
She wants the so called "freedom" and doesn't want to be binded in marriage or me but she wants to be able to spend time with kids.
I guess everything is fated right from the beginning and I should just let her go if this is what she had wanted.

TS - Hope you don't mind I sharing my own story in your thread.