Surviving An Affair

[Horsepower]

I met a fren for dinner to catch-up. He is in the midst of saving his marriage after his wife found found he had an affair. He passed me a book on "Surviving An Affair" by Drs. Harley and Chalmers, and said he had just finished reading it and thought probably I would need it too. He is aware that I am in the midst of seeing some else too, and asked me not to play with fire.

Excerpts from the book :
"INFIDELITY is one of life's most painful experiences for everyone involved - the betrayed spouse, the children, the extended family members, and even the lover and wayward spouse. So why do people have affairs when they create such sadness ? And once trust is broken, how can a couple ever hope to reconcile ?"

The book basically has 4 main points :

a. why affairs begin and end
b. how to end an affair
c. how to restore the marriage after an affair
d. how to manage resentment and build trust

I will start reading the book. I thought this is a good topic to start a new thread as I can tell from some posts some brudders are divorced because of affairs, go bonking away to numb their unhappy marriage, or got found out for involvement in affairs.

Cheers !


[/list]

[sToNeCoLd]

Bro, appreciated tat. Good constructive post and a good forewarning to ppl like me!! :(

sToneColD

[Horsepower]

Bro, appreciated tat. Good constructive post and a good forewarning to ppl like me!! :(

sToneColD
Up me lor :D Leave your name and I'll up you back.

[oaoo]

Just be careful not to read the book at home!!!

[sToNeCoLd]

Up me lor :D Leave your name and I'll up you back.

Bro, honestly I still dont know how to "Up" someone be it "clicking" on some icon or what???Secondly, I also dont know what's the benefit of these points for despite of my presence here in SB for sometime..

Points redemption???

Pls enlighten me.

sToNecOlD

[Horsepower]

[COLOR=Red]Bro, honestly I still dont know how to "Up" someone be it "clicking" on some icon or what???Secondly, I also dont know what's the benefit of these points for despite of my presence here in SB for sometime..

Points redemption???


The points can go Shell petrol kiosk redeem merchandise, may Durex Featherlite... :D

[sToNeCoLd]

The points can go Shell petrol kiosk redeem merchandise, may Durex Featherlite... :D

Hahaha...Well said!!Can save tons of $$$ if really SB moderator exercise that!!! :D

sToneCOlD

[HuiGe3387]

Good reminder for a start for the new week.

[sbfpolis]

Bro HP, does the book talk about cheonging, and the OC discover it ?

[songsong1213]

Just be careful not to read the book at home!!!

How if spotted OC reading this book :eek: :D

[malayboy]

The book basically has 4 main points :

a. why affairs begin and end
b. how to end an affair
c. how to restore the marriage after an affair
d. how to manage resentment and build trust


[/list]

Actually, it would have been better if the book addresses the following points:
a. How to manage an affair
b. How not to be discovered while having an affair
c. 100 lies for covering up an affair

I have had several affairs and, thank goodness, have yet to be discovered. Having said that, it would be good if we could pick up a few more tricks along the way.

[hunter89]

It is a good tread and a good reminder...... but somehow the lil bro always get the better control and ended starting to have another affair......sianz...... :D

[ken_v2]

Actually, it would have been better if the book addresses the following points:
a. How to manage an affair
b. How not to be discovered while having an affair
c. 100 lies for covering up an affair

I have had several affairs and, thank goodness, have yet to be discovered. Having said that, it would be good if we could pick up a few more tricks along the way.

i totally agreed with you. maybe some brudders can write a book on this points :D

[Horsepower]

Actually, it would have been better if the book addresses the following points:
a. How to manage an affair
b. How not to be discovered while having an affair
c. 100 lies for covering up an affair

I have had several affairs and, thank goodness, have yet to be discovered. Having said that, it would be good if we could pick up a few more tricks along the way.
The diff is before and aftermath of the incident.

[evo3]

Bro Horsepower is that book available in MPH or Times

[titts82002]

thanks treadstarter.
it is a good reminder

practice VIP lah (Visit - Insert-Pay), don't take home. :)

titts

[BigBoy2]

Hi Bros,

Well to me this sort of book does not really applies to your society. You see every different region in this world will have different culture so maybe only 20% of the content might be applicable to us.

What we should do is learnt it day by day and look around us in our society. If we guys are born some 150 years ago in China then I guess we will not have any problem at all.

All guys are alike be it only once or many a time in the life time, just rember 1 thing. "EAT OUTSIDE, WIPE CLEAN, AND DO NOT BRING IT HOME"

[Horsepower]

Bro Horsepower is that book available in MPH or Times
Bro Evo3, I am not sure maybe you can try.

[ivy7]

There are many good books about surviving affairs; there are also good forums and informational websites... google is your friend. Whether they are applicable to our "culture", "region" or "society" or not... cmon, surely you can discern which would be applicable to you!

I suppose it's easy to say "VIP - Visit, Insert, Pay" and "Fuck and Forget" but then I've seen guys with emotional attachment issues worse than the average girl and these guys are not gay... just normal guys. Once the emotionally attached get it in their heads that they are so in love... nothing is going to help them. Fantasy rules - reality stinks.

Also, there are different types of affairs... emotional and physical. Just because you don't "love" the WLs you visit that's a physical affair - anyone other than the wife. Just because you don't fuck that colleague you confide in about your dreams and hopes (that you don't share with your wife) and how fucked up your marriage is ... that's an emotional affair. Mind you, these are simple generalizations, but you should get the idea.

[Horsepower]

Also, there are different types of affairs... emotional and physical. Just because you don't "love" the WLs you visit that's a physical affair - anyone other than the wife. Just because you don't fuck that colleague you confide in about your dreams and hopes (that you don't share with your wife) and how fucked up your marriage is ... that's an emotional affair. Mind you, these are simple generalizations, but you should get the idea.
For WL/FLs, yes, emotions can develop, normally starts with physical attraction (bonk, looks, etc) and may lead to emotions affair. My fren is bonking one of the "ang-pai" from DC KTV foc and they are very loving.

For non WL/FLs, eg colleague, it always starts with emotional part. Eg a guy share with a female colleague about marriage problems, leads to sympathy, lunch, then dinner, then to bed ..... the physical side.

I personally almost got into one when the new accountant shared about her work problems with me in her room, sometimes sobbing because the boss is very demanding. The closeness we had, I could bring her to bed anytime, but I guess she's rational and stopped when she "accidentally" learnt I was married.