Shall I bonk to forget a bitter breakup?

[falcon]

My lover has just broke up with me, after 5 years together in a very imtimate and intense relationship. I neglected her these 2 years as I was building my career. Till few weeks ago she said to take a step back and be good friend because of some issues at home that she is very frustrated and hence like to quiet down a while. Respecting her decision I left her be for the next few weeks occasionally checking with her how she is doing. Then 2 weeks goddess ask to break up.

My world shattered. I never knew i love her so much till she broke up with me. I beg her i plead with her. She tear she cried but she never change her mind. I wrote to her like 50 letters since (we used to love emailing each other) but she refuses to read.

I am desperate, i am depresses. I feel so so lonely. Everywhere i go i can feel her sense her. She is always on my mind. I feel like crying sometimes and believe me i never cry. She is like a goddes to me. I absolutely adore her. Now I feel a major part of me has died. I feel empty.

Today again I tried to persuade her but she only said her feeling for me has greatly diminished!!! That hurts me till no end....I feel like I am breaking down.

I used to cheong before I met her. After I met her I stay faithful to her and never once bonk any FL. Now I cannot stop thinking about her, literally from I wake up till I sleep. I can't force myself to give up on her. She is still precious to me.

So do you think I should cross the line and bonk any FL to force myself into giving her up because I betrayed her? I cannot forsee she will ever come back to me...she totally cut me off. But I want to wait for her. However I am afraid I may break down soon, my heart aches everyday.....

Bro please share your view, I am truly lost.

Thank you.
Falcon

[muscleboi]

bro,

short answer to your thread question: NO

long answer: dude, you can't do that. its jus a waste of time and money. it will become the start of an addiction which can cause a downward spiral in your life. Fact is she left. It is a Fact. i know you find it hard to accept that now. dont go for Fl. do something else more meaningful. don't cry over spilled milk. whats over is over..i've been there...i know it hurts but believe that time will heal your wounds and FL will jus add salt to your wound. do something else. if you want something, first give. you lost your love. give love to charity organisations by volunteering. make others happy and you will be happy. all the best bro. living a better life is the best way to get over a break up.

[falcon]

Thanks bro for your answer. I couldnt bring myself to do it too....feels like a betrayal to her. But right now I couldn't find anything else that can help get her out of my mind. I must somehow find strength to move on. I read about others stories, about how after they bonked all that is left are guilt and emptiness. And of course the addiction.

I just dont know how to carry on anymore. Everything I do I think of her. Today had several meetings I chair and mid way I just lost my thinking process and people are staring at me. But I couldnt care as my mind was filled with thoughts of her. I miss her so badly.

Bro how did you manged to pull through? Through volunteer works etc?

We shared so much these years. Did so many crazy things together. How can she just flip and severe everything? Now I couldnt even mention anything about my emotion to her as she threaten to end all communications....I feel a huge hollow inside me. When I was sad previously she always cheer me up no matter where she was or how busy she was. Now....no respond....no concern.....no words.....it is so painful now bro.

But thanks for your advice, I will not make a booking tomorrow. I will.....dont know...do what hahahaha...

[sane]

I actually refrained myself from writing to u because u mentioned that u neglected her for 2 long years and that really meant growing apart for so long.

Everything is too late now and for a woman to be that heartless actually meant that there's already somebody else in her heart. Face the reality n treat as a closure.

There's nothing that time could heal. Other than bonking a WL, there's so many other meaningful things to do and make it part of your lifestyle.

Join more social gatherings, rekindle old friendship, join a gym! I opt for gyming then, cant sleep go for a jog, no place, no friends? Go for a session of gym, work out like a mad dog and tire yourself out to a nite of good sleep.

Set a goal, if u r on the heavy side, aim for a 5-10kgs weight loss or u wan to definite your body, whatever to take your mind off.

Redo your room, change the wardrobe, a new hairstyle whatever it takes to improve on yourself. When my past r/s broke down, I vowed to live a better life than before and not deteriotate.

Days will go past, months will go past. It will be painful but less painful ...

[sane]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oOlotzk5sOg

[falcon]

Thanks bro sane for your advice. Yes I am at fault, didnt give her all my hours during the 2 years. Nevertheless she stuck with me. I was a fool as I was afraid to tell her I love her because I fear she would want more demand more, more than I can give. But she never demand anything from me, I used to tell her how much I love her for the 1st 2 years, then something happened in my life and I was afraid to tell her anymore.

Only after the break then I realized she is the love of my life and I couldnt find anyone like her again. I began to tell her everyday how much I love her but she just freaked out. I was too late she said, and the word cuts my heart through and through. Now I dont dare to whatsapp her, fb her..I guess you have an idea how that must have felt.

Going for a jog is good advice. Yes bingo, there is no friend I can share this with. So jogging and gym is good. Thanks :)

Never been so lost in my life and I am not a youngster anymore and I have seen and done a fair bit in society so i am not easily lost. But she really got me good, she really did and still does...

[Tai_zi21]

My little suggestions here Since already break up

Why not build your career now? Make yourself so busy that you got no time to think about all this? Of cos to end a 5 years relationship is not easy! But crying won't help u and definitely it won't bring her back to you! Be strong for yourself and for your loved one

[peanodood1337]

Falcon bro, you mentioned that your ex-gf stayed with you through ups and downs, even without you committing 100% into the relationship. And now she finally wants out.

I believe she has spent a long time coming to this decision. And this is painful to her as well (she was crying when breaking up). It is highly unlikely that she will change her mind at this point.

IMO, now is the time to step up and be a man. Take a few weeks off from contacting her - 50 letters in 2 weeks is quite extreme, and all these love confessions after years of neglect? Obviously she would be "freaked out" as you said.

After the cooling period, send her a simple message "We didn't end things well. Can we talk? Let's settle the loose ends."

If she says no - Respect her decision. And bid her farewell.

If she says yes - Meet up with her and speak candidly. That means speak honestly, straight-forwardly, to the point without being overly emotional. Apologize for the neglect (without going overboard and looking like you are overcompensating). Admit that its your fault for not committing 100%. Tell her that regardless of whether or not you guys continue your friendship, you owe her an apology.

When that is settled, find an opportunity to ask her what went wrong. Is the r/s salvageable? 5 years is not a short time - ask her to remember all the good times you've had, is it worth giving it all up? Its a long shot honestly, but you guys owe each other a chance to set things right.

But if she still says no, then you have to be a gentleman and let her go. Wish her all the best with a smile. That's the best present you can give her in that kind of situation. Not 50 love letters professing your love. Learn from your mistake and move on.

Either way, DO NOT complicate things and go for ONS or commercial sex. If you do, you do not deserve to contact her ever again.

As for moving on in a healthy manner, the other bros have given some good suggestions. Take care and good luck.

[sane]

Only after the break then I realized she is the love of my life and I couldnt find anyone like her again. I began to tell her everyday how much I love her but she just freaked out. I was too late she said, and the word cuts my heart through and through. Now I dont dare to whatsapp her, fb her..I guess you have an idea how that must have felt.

Going for a jog is good advice. Yes bingo, there is no friend I can share this with. So jogging and gym is good. Thanks :)

Never been so lost in my life and I am not a youngster anymore and I have seen and done a fair bit in society so i am not easily lost. But she really got me good, she really did and still does...

When a woman decided to give up, there is nothing that u can do to change her mind, respect her decision. Give her space and don't harass her anymore.
Give yourself 1-2 weeks, she will text u if she miss u.

If not, dont give yourself false hope anymore.

Use this 2 weeks to brace up. If you do not have friends, go make new ones. Share with someone who is willing to listen. Time pass slowly if u cope yourself at home with the negative thoughts.

Don't think about someone else..heal your broken heart first. Brace up first before thinking about the future.

[muscleboi]

when i broke up that fateful day, i didnt know about this forum. bro, lucky you. glad you wrote your issue here so we can all "share" your burden so it becomes lighter. i second sane's suggestion which is to improve on yourself many times better than your current self. i also did something similar when i broke up with my ex.

i tried helping as many people as i can in doing their stuffs (eg. help them with their school work, carry stuffs for them etc) it makes me feel useful..i guess you can say those activities are considered volunteering. we humans are social creatures so we will want to interact with one another. bro, time will heal and i think you're feeling better already!

[maxsee]

I think there is a very high chance tat she met someone .... coz i dun think that one can walk out of a 5 years relationship so easily .... it is best u move on with ur life... :D:D:D

[sammyboyfor]

Bro please share your view, I am truly lost.

Thank you.
Falcon

You fucked whores before so I see no problem why you can't return to your dastardly ways. I say go for it. ;)

Don't forget to write a good FR after you've done the deed. :D

[heroseven2003]

You fucked whores before so I see no problem why you can't return to your dastardly ways. I say go for it. ;)

Don't forget to write a good FR after you've done the deed. :D

Better still ......if you can post photos :D

[sane]

when i broke up that fateful day, i didnt know about this forum. bro, lucky you. glad you wrote your issue here so we can all "share" your burden so it becomes lighter. i second sane's suggestion which is to improve on yourself many times better than your current self. i also did something similar when i broke up with my ex.

i tried helping as many people as i can in doing their stuffs (eg. help them with their school work, carry stuffs for them etc) it makes me feel useful..i guess you can say those activities are considered volunteering. we humans are social creatures so we will want to interact with one another. bro, time will heal and i think you're feeling better already!

I broke off at 5yrs too, seem like the the breakoff point is 5yrs. My situation is more complex because I was already at the marriage stage with the date set n there was a third party involved.

However time heal, we are still friends now n sometimes being friend is so much more better than lovers.

Anyway I m living well now without need of casual sex/fling/fb etc. U do not others to heal your broken heart.

[ah rat]

I broke off at 5yrs too, seem like the the breakoff point is 5yrs. My situation is more complex because I was already at the marriage stage with the date set n there was a third party involved.

However time heal, we are still friends now n sometimes being friend is so much more better than lovers.

Anyway I m living well now without need of casual sex/fling/fb etc. U do not others to heal your broken heart.

Sad to hear that,lucky u haven't married to him :)
Sis,No casual Sex can tahan :p :D

[by73]

Ts, not everything is a bed of roses, plus all is fair in love n war. While it will sting d pride n
hurt d heart, do note tat coping wif rejection will help u break out of ur inception of pain.
Hang out.. sounds like a no-brainer, but d real trick here is to hang out n to focus on d fun u're having. It's gd for d mind n body, n ur friends won't be turned off by how mopey u r every time they hint at something taboo.
Idle hands r d devils tools. Distract urself by doubling efforts n time into ur work or hobbies, n at least u now have more time n more money on ur hands to do d things u REALLY want, isn't it?
N lastly, it's A O K to be single. If u r not ready to stay single, chances r u're not ready to be responsible for another person. Stay open-minded n socialise, n manage ur expectations well. U'll be surprised by wat comes ur way.
Hang on there n gd luck, bro..:)

[hamsapkwai]

go for a bonk to celebrate a promotion
go for a bonk to forget an investment loss
go for a bonk to mourn the passing of a friend
go for a bonk to get over a job dismissal
go for a bonk when my horse did not come in
and now i have a new one on my list. ......

thank you for helping to spice up my life :p

[sane]

Sad to hear that,lucky u haven't married to him :)
Sis,No casual Sex can tahan :p :D

if anyhow bonk, wont i be the same as that man :rolleyes:

Anyway we are still friends now and he told me that he married that prc ktv hostess and she left him 1 yr later for another man. When he told me, I was laughing my ass off in front of him. He think every woman is like me, loving him with my heart. I cherish our past memories but he is more like a kin, a brother now.

His mum is telling me that he always mentioned about me, say I change a lot .. blah blah blah , well everything is too late now.

When a woman leave, she wont turn her head back.

[Adversity]

Definitely a 3rd party, otherwise she'd still be hanging onto your relationship hoping that things would change for the better. Now her hope is in someone else.

Probably nothing specific you can do to make yourself feel better, just go about life as per normal, except it is life as a single person. If this includes going to chiong, then so be it.

Cliched as it might sound, the only thing you can be sure of is that time heals everything, even if it doesn't completely cure you, it will feel a lot better many years down the road.

[ah rat]

if anyhow bonk, wont i be the same as that man :rolleyes:


Sis,so u still think u got the best bonk from him.But don't dishearten,u will find other guy that can perform much better than him. No harm gives it a try :p :D

[sane]

Sis,so u still think u got the best bonk from him.But don't dishearten,there is guy still can perform very well than him :D

No la .. juz a character flaw :D, some ppl like, some ppl dun like .. just i belong to the latter.

[ah rat]

No la .. juz a character flaw :D, some ppl like, some ppl dun like .. just i belong to the latter.

Sis,do u intend to look for one and settle down :)

[sane]

Sis,do u intend to look for one and settle down :)

u wan to apply huh :p

[ah rat]

u wan to apply huh :p

Ya,if green light from u :D

[chanster]

Just go ahead and bonk .. but you will realise after bonking you just cant release the problems .. I having the same problem .. But deep in my heart i love her still .. but i choose to do some fuck up things to her after break up as i know its already impossible .. maybe that the only way for me to find an excuse that i will never look for her again .. But still .. human are just a weird creature ..

[pitabooom]

I feel you bro except it was the reverse. I initiated the break (I don't feel good either) because there was just so many negative aspects about the entire relationship that it overshadowed the positive.

I'd thought of bonking the hell like there's no tomorrow, but realized that its not fair for other better girls in my future, but also not fair to my wallet as well.

Once you'd resigned from cheonging, you had resigned. Going back is going to turn you into the devil instantly and you are probably going to hump like a bloody rabbit until your dick turns sore, blue-black and drop off.

Furthermore, if you had done The Test before and you are negative, why go and screw up your own results? No point right?

[sane]

Ya,if green light from u :D

Tks lah but i m not available anymore :D:p

[HCKing]

When a woman leave, she wont turn her head back.

can also mean when her heart's dead.

[sane]

can also mean when her heart's dead.

Even if my ex is v successful in his business now n trying to impress, behaving totally out of his character, it is 1000% impossible for me to accept him again because the feel is no longer there.

To hold his hand and to tell him that i luv him is no longer possible again.

[ah rat]

Even if my ex is v successful in his business now n trying to impress, behaving totally out of his character, it is 1000% impossible for me to accept him again because the feel is no longer there.

To hold his hand and to tell him that i luv him is no longer possible again.

Sis,gives yourself a chance & gives us a chance :D

[huhu123]

Sis,gives yourself a chance & gives us a chance :D

i also want a chance;)

[ah rat]

i also want a chance;)

Try to get from her :D

[sane]

Sis,gives yourself a chance & gives us a chance :D

i also want a chance;)

we will be good brothers always, 好兄弟 :D

[huhu123]

we will be good brothers always, 好兄弟 :D

no chance:(:(:

[muscleboi]

we will be good brothers always, 好兄弟 :D

lol...while still alive? i extend the invitation to welcome you to join us in the old folks home when we become senior citizens :D we can chat all the day every day about the tales we had experienced when we were young...nice isnt it?

[sane]

lol...while still alive? i extend the invitation to welcome you to join us in the old folks home when we become senior citizens :D we can chat all the day every day about the tales we had experienced when we were young...nice isnt it?

We can also do it now here mah ... :D

[muscleboi]

We can also do it now here mah ... :D

cannot la. now is more doing and lesser talking :D

[falcon]

All bros and sis, thanks for the advices you've given me. In this darkest hour of my love life, am glad to receive some pointers and sharing from this forum. I read each one carefully and with thanks :)

Sis Sane, I am totally heartbroken when you mentioned that its 1000% impossible to go back to your ex as feel is no longer there. I kinda am hoping and waiting for her to come back to me but if all sis are like you, means i no chance anymore?

I spoke with her 3 days ago, she cut me off whenever I start to express and ask her to come back to me, am willing to change anything just to have her back but alas, kena shot down, crashed and burnt. She is close to breakdown too. Cause too much heart pain to see her that way so I accepted her request for us to remain as just friends. Though I asked for best friend post hahaha.

I know I will always love her, no matter what happened. Although she said her feelings for me has been reduced greatly, that means there is still something there right? If not, why would she break down? I get to speak with her face to face and when I look into her eyes, I saw something there. I know she is in pain too but somehow she made up her mind to leave me and she intend to keep it.

I have decided to wait for her to turn around. She asked me when will I be willing to give her up, I told her we had 5 years of wonderful time, I will need 5 more years to forget her....right now I am committed to stay by her side and be there whenever she needs me or my support, for anything and everything under the sky.

I am a man in prime state and have needs as well. Believe me fighting the urge for me is like fighting the demon, everytime its a struggle. I used to tell her I want to bonk her everyday lol. I just hope I can keep myself above this so one day, if she return I can tell her with no guilt that she is still the love of my life. I just pray I have the strength to carry on.

I just hope you won't get to see my fr in like 3 months time hahahaha.

Meanwhile I appreciate all your inputs, they have been sort of a pillar for me during this unbearable time.

Just like to offer advice to all couples out there, please tell your love ones how much you love them everyday, as if there is no tomorrow. Do not end up like me, having to regret for a possible lifetime, however long that is.

Once again thanks bros and sis.

[sammyboyfor]

I know I will always love her, no matter what happened.

That's a load of rubbish. I used to think the same way too but that was when I was a teenager. :p The reality is that the girls I thought I'd love forever are nothing more than a distant memories. I can't even remember the details of the relationships other than the fact that the sex was good. :D I certainly can't remember why I thought I'd love them forever.

Although she said her feelings for me has been reduced greatly, that means there is still something there right? If not, why would she break down? I get to speak with her face to face and when I look into her eyes, I saw something there. I know she is in pain too but somehow she made up her mind to leave me and she intend to keep it.

There is nothing there I assure you. If there was she wouldn't be leaving you. She might feel a bit sorry for you but that's about it. I'm also 99.9% sure she's already in a relationship with someone else or she wouldn't be so insistent on dumping you for good. It's because she's made a promise to her new love that you're history.

Stop wasting your time with all this lovey dovey shit and concentrate on building your career instead. There'll be more than enough time for all this so called romance when you're emotionally more stable. With age comes a more level headed approach to relationships.

[DegenerationX]

Sam always right to the point! :D

[sammyboyfor]

Sam always right to the point! :D

After going through a few relationships I have a reasonably good understanding of how a woman's mind works and I also gained an excellent understanding of how my own mind works.

Women want attention. They want to be pampered and made to feel important. When a man no longer meets their needs, they'll move on to someone that does.

Men just want to fuck. They pamper women in the early stages of the relationship so they can get sex. After a while the sex becomes boring so they stop the pampering and spend time on more productive pursuits.

However, when the woman says "it's over", the thought of losing a source of good pussy makes them go berserk especially the thought that the pussy that they had exclusive rights to might now be reserved for someone else. :D

When a new exclusive pussy is secured, the old pussy becomes nothing more than a historical relic stored in secondary memory.

[ah rat]

Ts,get to know another one as time pass ,u will forget her :)



we will be good brothers always, 好兄弟 :D

好兄姊 ah 'sob*****sob' :D

[Mr_don_juan]

I know I will always love her, no matter what happened.

if she return I can tell her with no guilt that she is still the love of my life. I just pray I have the strength to carry on.

please tell your love ones how much you love them everyday, as if there is no tomorrow. Do not end up like me, having to regret for a possible lifetime, however long that is.

Once again thanks bros and sis.

Trust her actions, not her words.

WHy do you bother ? Her actions, while sometimes affectionate to you, are more like an affection in the past. Just like in the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" the one who cares the least in the relationship has the most power. So end it with the most dignity, go no contact and forget about her. She is not worthy of any more consideration, mental or otherwise.

Women don't go for guys who love them. They go for guys who excite, make them high and give them an adrenaline rush and so as to keep their little puzzies moist and her thrill is simply over.

You need to understand she or women women have plenty of options. they already always itching to move to another host/victim. It's a good thing this happened because you know she is not worthy of your love than ended up in lousy marriages if the relationship were to continue.

Learn from this experience and move on. Start to work on shedding old ways and delusion about ' love ' and date as much as possible. act like a man, fear nobody, and never pass a chance to introduce yourself, , in front of a woman or anybody else you want respect from cheers bro :D

[sane]

Sis Sane, I am totally heartbroken when you mentioned that its 1000% impossible to go back to your ex as feel is no longer there. I kinda am hoping
I just hope you won't get to see my fr in like 3 months time hahahaha.

Meanwhile I appreciate all your inputs, they have been sort of a pillar for me during this unbearable time.

Just like to offer advice to all couples out there, please tell your love ones how much you love them everyday, as if there is no tomorrow. Do not end up like me, having to regret for a possible lifetime, however long that is.

Once again thanks bros and sis.

bro, look at uncle sam's postings .. There's lots of truth in it though i beg to diffuse this sentence,

"Women want attention. They want to be pampered and made to feel important. When a man no longer meets their needs, they'll move on to someone that does."

If a woman who really loves you and not merely a sex for $$ transaction, she only want a man who will love her with all his heart and not leave them for somebody else. 见一个，爱一个，容易变心的人是不值得爱的。

sometimes we are just clinging on past memories and look at bright side, at least she never two timed u and make a really clean break. She has a character that I admire.
Just leave her alone and u mentioned that u r in your prime.

Cast your net wider, why resort only to seek FL? U have a career and still in your prime, go out to make more friends.

If you need accompany, did u see the posting on bro DX? He organize regular chill out with a bunch of really nice buddies .. they are nice guys to hang out with and they went through bad patches as well and is able to empathy ur situation.

Pm him .. they will always welcome u in the group.

[sane]

Ts,get to know another one as time pass ,u will forget her :)





好兄姊 ah 'sob*****sob' :D

what y 姐 :confused::mad:

[sane]

TS，i dedicate my fav song to u :)

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bX_Di3sSNGQ

[sammyboyfor]

TS，i dedicate my fav song to u :)



I hate stupid Chinese songs. :rolleyes:

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I hate stupid Chinese songs. :rolleyes:

Lol boss I kinda agree. That ain't one of her better songs unlike this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_vU7pkmDBU

[flowbow]

Bonking other girls won't make you forget her. It'll only make you miss her more. If you don't believe, you can try it... ;)

[DegenerationX]

I still dun understand. What is the co-relation between bonking and forgetting someone?? :confused::confused:

[ah rat]

I still dun understand. What is the co-relation between bonking and forgetting someone?? :confused::confused:

I only know bonking feels shiok :p

[flowbow]

Sam always right to the point! :D
Why you por boss eh lam pa? :confused::D:p

[flowbow]

I still dun understand. What is the co-relation between bonking and forgetting someone?? :confused:
I thought this is a guy thing!?!?? :eek::p

I remember when I was trying to get over my ex, the guys I met kept telling me "you need to bonk someone new". I also don't get it. :cool: to me there is no link... Except that bonking someone new would just make me miss my ex even more.

[DegenerationX]

Why you por boss eh lam pa? :confused::D:p

Like that say me good meh? :D

[flowbow]

Like that say me good meh? :D
I only speaking the truth from my observation :D:p

Like that wrong meh? :confused:

[DegenerationX]

I only speaking the truth from my observation :D:p

Like that wrong meh? :confused:

U win lo :(

[sane]

I hate stupid Chinese songs. :rolleyes:

ya lah, noe u ang moh pai :cool:

[muscleboi]

I remember when I was trying to get over my ex, the guys I met kept telling me "you need to bonk someone new". I also don't get it. :cool: to me there is no link... Except that bonking someone new would just make me miss my ex even more.

bonking someone new got two effects :D first, i will forget my ex if the sex is great...second, i will miss my ex if the sex with someone new is baddd.. :(

guess i've lost the natural ability to love..... (look at my signature)

[muscleboi]

bro sam is right. the one who care less has more control.

remember when i was with my ex, i got more control initially but as i start loving her more and more, i began to lose the control in the relationship.. that ended everything.

TS, move on. yes when a woman said its over, its OVER. you wouldnt want a fickle minded girl won't you? worse if she uses break up as a blackmail. be grateful she let you go and not play with your feelings. do her a favour too and move on.

i will be waiting for your fr soon. :D

[chanster]

same mistake done by me too .. too over caring and she just take it for granted ..

[natsuki]

Bonk or not, to forget or not, its all up to individuals. So, no point asking ya?
Ask yourself what you want eventually, work on it. Realize whats wrong? Amend it. Can't amend? Then forget it. Live carries on. No?

[huhu123]

ya lah, noe u ang moh pai :cool:

Wa u say boss arh!!! later boss zap u into oblivion :eek::eek:

[ah rat]

Wa u say boss arh!!! later boss zap u into oblivion :eek::eek:

No lah later,he pm her and asks her want to be his GF :D

[sane]

Wa u say boss arh!!! later boss zap u into oblivion :eek::eek:

No lah later,he pm her and asks her want to be his GF :D

kns lah, i m just stating matter of the fact :rolleyes:

[sane]

Bonk or not, to forget or not, its all up to individuals. So, no point asking ya?
Ask yourself what you want eventually, work on it. Realize whats wrong? Amend it. Can't amend? Then forget it. Live carries on. No?

True, the world will not spinning just only because of that 1 person ..

[huhu123]

No lah later,he pm her and asks her want to be his GF :D

Mrs sammysane or mrs bosssane?

[falcon]

I just text her again this morning. Now I got a restraining order to text her over weekends hahaha....she used to find time and space to text me whenever where ever she was, now everything totally different.

Yes she has another man in her life. I am the 3rd party so now she is going back to her bf. There had been a huge quarrel between them of some sort 2 months back and ever since then she behaved differently.

Today I asked her will she come back to me someday, answer is no, period. If I am going to further pursue this 1 more time, she will even stop being friend with me.

I walked down the memory lane, everything was so unbelievable and beautiful these years. I really cannot let her go, I have never loved someone so much till it hurts. To quote from the movie Hitch
"I've waited my whole life to feel so miserable"

Another quote.
"Life is not about the amount of breaths you take, its about the moments that take your breath away"
She took all my breaths away these 5 years. She was an amazing person to be with, amazing bonk too. We connect on so many levels. Believe me, If I could ask for her hand I would, but she will not leave her bf.

But I tell myself just now, I gotta move on, for her and for me.

I hope I can walk out of this mess soon. Otherwise it is going to hurt our friendship and I will then lose my only connection to her, which cannot happen else I'll break. She will always have a special place in my heart but I plan to walk out of this mess and not wait for her to come back to me anymore. I need a closure and I had one this morning.

You guys are right, when a woman made up her mind, nothing is going to change that...

Now I need to fill the void and emptiness inside me, any suggest? LOL

Thanks bros and sis for your time, listening to my misery and ranting even though we are strangers, and offered your advices. I hope I will not get into another r/s like this again, too much pain. F&FO will be much simpler...

[stillgottheblue]

Just move on, bro. No use feeling sorrow over a relationship with no ending. Time can heal your wounds.

[sane]

Mrs sammysane or mrs bosssane?

Brother sane :rolleyes:


Yes she has another man in her life. I am the 3rd party so now she is going back to her bf. There had been a huge quarrel between them of some sort 2 months back and ever since then she behaved differently.

Now I need to fill the void and emptiness inside me, any suggest? LOL
r...

She has a bf and both of you are not even supposed to be together in the first place. If she really want to leave her bf, she will have done so long time ago. It is very obvious that she has chosen her bf and you are completely out.

As for the suggestions, others have already voice out more than enough.

Sorry to say this, u should have see it coming since day 1 when u get involved with a gal like her.

[natsuki]

Bonk or not, to forget or not, its all up to individuals. So, no point asking ya?
Ask yourself what you want eventually, work on it. Realize whats wrong? Amend it. Can't amend? Then forget it. Live carries on. No?

[Another]

It's good that you can recognize the need to let go and move on. If you truly believe this is what you need, then go for it.

As to how to fill your void, be aware that nothing short of another fulfilling relationship can fill it completely. The best thing you can do now is to occupy yourself with something, like picking up a hobby.

Regardless, all the best to you.

[falcon]

Bro Another, thanks for your kind words. Yes I have decided to move on but right now still struggling to get through each day without her. I did not purposely think of her it just come naturally. I dreamt of her last night and woke up this morning with heartache. Barely slept a few hours because mind is always full of her.

I lost interest in my hobbies, gadget thingy. Now mostly I surf forum and during these time found people of same plight and read their stories. Its like a support group to me haha. These read help me to understand my pain and hopefully will be able to manage it someday. I only know if I lay on bed doing nothing my mind will short circuit and my heart will burst from the thoughts of her. Seriously I dont know how people managed. Some people like me, think of their true love even after they married and its like 15 years and he still misses and think of his true love everyday.

One lady offered some advice. She is into 8th years of missing. She shared her story and mention that for some, like her (and me I suppose), just have to live with the missing and the pain. I believe people are built differently. What you can achieve may not be achievable by another...so you might be able to forget but some just can't. They moved on, they dated other people and some even got married later, but the missing never stop....

I have got pass the denial stage.....now just need to manage as I believe the pain will not be gone....it will lessen maybe but will not be gone so I have to live with it.

[soulzsinner]

Takes time to heal...

[sammyboyfor]

Some people like me, think of their true love even after they married and its like 15 years and he still misses and think of his true love everyday.


These people are all psycho cases. I'm sure you don't want to join their club.

As far as women go, I have found it takes about 2 weeks for healing to take place. After that, life is back to normal.

Life is short and there are so many exciting things to do and see. Why anyone would want to spend years of their life reminiscing over one lost pussy is beyond me. There are so many available replacements I wouldn't waste a single day thinking about the past. It's absolutely unproductive.

Besides there is no such thing as "true love". Love is nothing more than a chemical reaction. You can read all about it at http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/science/jan-june09/love_02-13.html

[muscleboi]

These people are all psycho cases. I'm sure you don't want to join their club.

As far as women go, I have found it takes about 2 weeks for healing to take place. After that, life is back to normal.

Life is short and there are so many exciting things to do and see. Why anyone would want to spend years of their life reminiscing over one lost pussy is beyond me. There are so many available replacements I wouldn't waste a single day thinking about the past. It's absolutely unproductive.

Besides there is no such thing as "true love". Love is nothing more than a chemical reaction. You can read all about it at http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/science/jan-june09/love_02-13.html

yes. f and fo is the best. why leave strings? the more strings we leave the more entangled our lives become.

i second that report. there is no "true love" in this world and as mentioned in my previous posts, love is but a chemical reaction that will only last for 18 months and the rest is up to the individuals to maintain the relationship. "love" is but a mating effect so that couples stay together to take care of the offspring. thats why there are many stray cases. after the "love" is gone, (could be because the females now has a new role which to take care of their offspring or they're no longer attractive enough for erection to happen and erection is a requirement for impregnation, they no longer want to fuck so)we males search for other females to impregnate and the cycle starts all over again. speaking of science, we're jus more intelligent animals.

[falcon]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor
These people are all psycho cases. I'm sure you don't want to join their club.

As far as women go, I have found it takes about 2 weeks for healing to take place. After that, life is back to normal.


You are right that time heals, its less painful now, at least lessen to a point where i can resume 60-75% of my daily task. I sure hope a few weeks down the road I will be able to forgive and forget then subsequently move on to greener pasture :D

Thanks all bros.

[Prince Devitt]

My lover has just broke up with me, after 5 years
Bro please share your view, I am truly lost.

Thank you.
Falcon

Yes, it a good u way i think, she don't appreciate u, other do.

[arbalest]

Bro, I just read through the thread. I feel for you. Relationship is always a 2 way street. From what I read, I think in this relationship you are the one who learn what love is. She didn't. The fact is she can be with another guy and then when quarrel come back find you then she just don't know what is love. Pity her for that. Cos she can keep playing around... Be emotional. My guess is she never really love before. She just follow her emotions.

Not many have said this here but I wanna share with you. Love is both an emotion and a decision. Many people get the emote part. Not many get the decision part. We are in a generation where it talks feelings feelings, it is both good and bad as it makes us very emotional people. My advice bro is don't let your feelings control you. They may be real but they may not always be right.

But I am proud of you bro. Cos you know what love is. Love is about giving without asking for anything in return. Bro I see you not forgeting this relationship but I see you growing and maturing and some day you give to someone who loves you with their all. This girl now will regret losing you cos one day the one who deserves you will get the best of you.

peace

[InnerCircle]

Hi Bro,

Strangely enough, 11 years ago I had a similar experience.. I shall not elaborate cos this thread is about you and not me..

I just hope you could draw strength knowing that in time all wounds could be healed..

Bonking doesn't heal your heart, it only deepens the void.. And if you choose to bonk, please do not allow your weaken emotional state to look for love at the wrong places..

Take care bro!

[iossshee]

Dear TS Falcon

Think you have too much time to think... How many 10 years do you have ... Move on go for a adventure trip things tat u never try before i.e. like read the international field reports in the forum plan a trip for your break and get yourself recharge and move back on track GET A Life Man.

CHEERS Life still goes on ...

[hardworking48]

When my gf broke up with me after 3 yrs together, I went out and got myself a new and prettier gf within 1 month. Sure I still think of her, but what the heck, I got a new and better one....more loving, more sexy and really take care of me. She is the one that got really jealous when she found out I got a new gal. HOHOHOHOHO.:D I have the last laugh.

WTF you want to keep wallowing in her shit for? Be the MAN, go out and the world is your oyster!:D