Is this a prelude to a sex agenda?

[Edyta]

Married man asking a woman for drinks quite regularly. One on one but nothing happens over last 6 months, hello hugs n gdbye hugs only. The man initiates all these outings n took the woman to quite nice n exclusive places. The woman declined a few times but invites continue.

Can this be just platonic given that both of them are in the same industry n have plenty to talk about? Or its always a prelude to a NSA sex agenda that the woman should run like no tomorrow if she is not interested to be the other woman?

Thanks

[jasdude]

Honestly it does not seems to be heading in the right track. But there might be still a "slight" possibility of platonic friendship. No matter what, it takes two hands to clap and two to tango to the tempo.

[alanthedevil]

too often and not, such innocent outings will take a twist and end up on the bed. imo, no happily married man will date lady out on expensive dates just for innocent chats without expecting any form of ROI.

the fact that the whole saga lasted 6 mths already seems that the marriage could be a prob.

if u are the lady in this scenario, if u really do not want to have any other business with this man, then perhaps distance yourself even more.

[owl888]

Woman goes with guy one on one means something and it happens for so long.....sure something good gonna happen ;)

[zveron]

everything happen for a reason...

maybe she remind him of a lost love/wife/mother/sister etc, maybe he is interested in her wealth or her position of power, maybe he is a spy trying to steal information from her... And many more reasons we may think of. But the most probable is that he is trying to get into her.

then again she may want to play along for many reasons other than sex, but she would want to be frank and have a good talk with him to set the parameters of the meeting right. It may seem embarrassing, but will save lots of headache later if misunderstanding are allow to continue.

[Edyta]

Woman goes with guy one on one means something and it happens for so long.....sure something good gonna happen ;)

I got a really stupid question, hope you dont mind. Are all one on one drinks with a man considered a date? I am not in anyway a young gal but i have never assume anything when i go for one, or maybe from now on i should be aware of this?

[singacock]

Life is full of twist and turns and you never know where the next road will lead you to. I have personally done nice dinner and drinks with gals despite being married and if they are comfortable with you, they will agree to the next date and the next.

Barriers do fall over time and the woman once comfortable with you will reciprocate your initiatives be it hugs and kisses or a full fledged romp in bed. It takes chemistry to get to this point so don't set this as your main goal but rather work towards it.

At the end of the day, you may end up with a gal that will only your best friend. So let it be, she is still a friend worth having and to treasure. :D

[justl00king]

Anything is possible given the circumstances. ;)

I always try to sex it up by 3 dates.

[callmebad]

will this lead to sex ?
possible
it will be very much dependent on the gal side
as for men, they always have this desire to bed another woman who is not his wife if there is the chance even though it may be slim

[Krazzie]

If you are married or attached I don't think it is right to go out with just a guy friend for drinks.

If you are not... proceed :D just be prepared for any consequences ;)

[Krazzie]

Life is full of twist and turns and you never know where the next road will lead you to. I have personally done nice dinner and drinks with gals despite being married and if they are comfortable with you, they will agree to the next date and the next.

Barriers do fall over time and the woman once comfortable with you will reciprocate your initiatives be it hugs and kisses or a full fledged romp in bed. It takes chemistry to get to this point so don't set this as your main goal but rather work towards it.

At the end of the day, you may end up with a gal that will only your best friend. So let it be, she is still a friend worth having and to treasure. :D

Haha very true bro. One of my female ex-colleague is my good 'buddy' now, very good friends but no sex involved.. but true to be said its damn rare for it to happen.. because more often end up in bed :D

[owl888]

I got a really stupid question, hope you dont mind. Are all one on one drinks with a man considered a date? I am not in anyway a young gal but i have never assume anything when i go for one, or maybe from now on i should be aware of this?

if the guy is not attractive to you would u go one on one drinks? Or u dun trust that guy would u? Imho, this is the basic to develop further in a relationship....

[PeaceWithin]

Let's put it this way...

1) If the guy doesn't like the gal... would the invitations come?
2) If you don't want to drink... why go to the pub?

Or you are unsure yourself...
If you don't want the invites, just state your terms. Whether he accepts is up to him. And whether you continue accepting... is also up to you.

Just make sure you can live with whatever you decide.

[SH149]

I got a really stupid question, hope you dont mind. Are all one on one drinks with a man considered a date? I am not in anyway a young gal but i have never assume anything when i go for one, or maybe from now on i should be aware of this?

Simple .... Just ask

I don't like play guessing game

[Siriusam]

Simple, are all the dinners and drinks on him?

If he's paying for everything then it is definitely trailing towards more-than-friend route.

If you guys are going dutch, then it is almost always platonic only.

If you're not comfortable with having a more-than-friends r/s with him, I suggest you go dutch and if he insist to be that gentleman paying for everything, then you should decide if you should continue to see him.

[littlepok]

the weirdest thing is it actually go on for 6months, no sex no nothing and the woman actually agree to go everytime?

no hints? no seduction? no hands over shoulders etc? friendly hug? checking out cup size is it?

[Edyta]

Thanks for all the replies, valuable insights to me.

To answer some of your questions, man always pay and declined the woman's offer to go dutch. Woman paid once, excuse is his birthday was round the corner. No inappropriate touching, mood was casual and relaxed. Talks about everything including his children. Hugs yes only hello and goodbye, light peck on cheeks no lingering hugs. Man is quite influential in the industry, no need help from the woman. Man initiates and makes appointment early in the week to meetup nearer end of week. Woman agrees to mert if she is free and sees that as a casual catchup. There is no daily texts or phone calls but man do text to catchup for drinks even if he is overseas.

So is this still sexy date or platonic catchup?

[Brainstorm]

So is this still sexy date or platonic catchup?

Platonic catchup. He is more lonely than horny. He appreciates a good chat more than sex. Is he a deep thinker?

[jasdude]

Thanks for all the replies, valuable insights to me.

To answer some of your questions, man always pay and declined the woman's offer to go dutch. Woman paid once, excuse is his birthday was round the corner. No inappropriate touching, mood was casual and relaxed. Talks about everything including his children. Hugs yes only hello and goodbye, light peck on cheeks no lingering hugs. Man is quite influential in the industry, no need help from the woman. Man initiates and makes appointment early in the week to meetup nearer end of week. Woman agrees to mert if she is free and sees that as a casual catchup. There is no daily texts or phone calls but man do text to catchup for drinks even if he is overseas.

So is this still sexy date or platonic catchup?

Only time will tell. Only time will show true motives and intentions. Maybe the person enjoys the thrill of the chase and enjoys a good mind fuck; wants the gal to be curious enough to pop the question not him, reversing the roles, making him the wanted. Please note, its just an assumption. As said again, ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

[Edyta]

Platonic catchup. He is more lonely than horny. He appreciates a good chat more than sex. Is he a deep thinker?

Sort of a deep thinker, appears frosty at work. Now u reminded me he is a known patient hunter in his profession. He is not a touchy man but i caught him touch my thigh while we are laughing over a joke n he ever wrap his arms around my waist when i got out of his car. Very sporadic ocassional touches so i dont really remember or pay much attention. Now i am starting to recall bits of it for your analysis.

[Edyta]

Only time will tell. Only time will show true motives and intentions. Maybe the person enjoys the thrill of the chase and enjoys a good mind fuck; wants the gal to be curious enough to pop the question not him, reversing the roles, making him the wanted. Please note, its just an assumption. As said again, ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

Yes agree only time will tell but i thot i should learn to move away before i get into trouble. I dont want to ask him direct because it would sound so presumptuous and also insulting to him as a married man. So am asking for you guys to enlighten me abit so that i can do a better judgement call. I do treasure his friendship, thats why the struggle. But if its really heading wrong way i have to forgo it.

[jasdude]

Yes agree only time will tell but i thot i should learn to move away before i get into trouble. I dont want to ask him direct because it would sound so presumptuous and also insulting to him as a married man. So am asking for you guys to enlighten me abit so that i can do a better judgement call. I do treasure his friendship, thats why the struggle. But if its really heading wrong way i have to forgo it.

I assume you are a lady. No harm just go with the flow as long you know what you are doing with a clear mind. No harm enjoying it, just play at the water edge without getting your feet wet.

[sane]

Yes agree only time will tell but i thot i should learn to move away before i get into trouble.

Agreed :) back away if he propose things further. Don't indulge deeper in the pretense of a friendship with a married man because ultimately, the 3rd party will be the one ended up feeling used n hurt.

[tungsten]

Seldom post nowadays... Anyway this is what I suggest if you want to create some distance.

If you have a BF, tell this guy friend that you are thinking to bring your special someone to meet him in the next dinner. Reasons could be your BF heard so much good things about him that your BF want to learn from him.

This is a blunt and effective way to signal to him that you are not available. Prepared for repurcussions (e.g. awkwardness) for a while though.

While there is a chance that he is just lonely or just enjoy your company, I am not sure how it will lead to in the long run. Given enough time, this will have the potential to develop into something. If that is not what you want, run or at least create some distance.

Put yourself in the position of his wife. Would you be comfortable if a woman is meeting your husband at this level of frequency?

Even if both of you is very sure that this is a platonic relationship, it is good to reduce the chance of it being mistaken as a romantic invovlement by other. There is a Chinese saying, "He will not pull on his shoes in a melon patch, Nor adjust his hat under a plum tree." This means a smart person always seeks to provide against possible troubles. And never renders himself under suspicion. As a woman, you might want to protect yourself against this kind of unwanted trouble.

[evilknight]

seems quite obvious...maybe he is not sure if you will accept him...so he is more careful till he gets an obvious signal from you....:p