What excuse(s) will you give when you are caught at .....

[eEconomist]

If you are caught at these places, what excuse(s) will you give




1. Geylang

- I went Lor 9 for the Bee Hor Fun
- Hey I took a bus and alighted at Guillemard Road, and walk across the Lorongs to Geylang for makan
- Hey I took the wrong bus and alighted at Guillemard Road, and walk across the Lorongs to Geylang to change bus!!!
- Come on, I visited my friend who lives in Wing Fong Mansion
- me at Geylang?? Your friend must be mistaken. I was working in office


2. SPA

- please... I was went for a massage as I've got a back muscle pain
- Special? What special?
- Yes, the China girl asked me whether I wanted Special, I said no.
- I was there with a client to talk about business


3. Karoake

- Hey, I was there for business entertainment
- Yes, I was there, only sing song.
- Yes, the gals sat with me and I didn't even allow them to touch me!!


4. Pertain Road

- Hey, I was going to City Square and I took a wrong turn
- I went to try to French Stall, but I couldn't locate the shop
- Banana Leg, where in Singapore is that?


5. Tuina

- please I just went there for a normal rub/massage.
- What? Special there? You think that kind of place, so cramp, I got mood for HJ or sex meh??
- Special, what special? You read too much Wan Bao or Newpaper!!




Bro, please feel free to contribute and upz me if you enjoy this thread. Thanks.....................

...................In the meantime, I go Geylang for supper ok, really supper only...

:D:D

[Jensen Ang]

Thanks for the effort...its really a good one and importantly very logical.

[shiokpleasure]

1. Drove around, could only find free parking in the other side.

4. Free parking, then walking to city square.

Think excuse for 2 & 5 no diff

[asdfghjkl]

OP is really humorous.. good! kekeke :p

[caballero]

LOL cannot agree more with the excuses so far.

[syt_punisher]

"Hi babe ! I just come here to check it out yo !"

[Bangster]

Geylang:

I go there buy durians...erm for you of course.

Spa:

My reservist mates jio'ed me to soak in hot water together after our very siong IPPT this morning...old liao whole body aching...It's a herbal spa..

Karaoke:

Colleague's birthday, we all go there to sing Happy Birthday song to him/her

Petain Rd:

(Wah this one get caught there is damn suey lah...so dirty and smelly)

Tuina:

No, it's actually a Tie-Da (metal beat aka Chinese Physician) outlet..wah lao the "Physician" damn good ah...rubbed my leg/arm/back/neck/shoulder (anywhere except your balls and your cock) so hard..

[eEconomist]

6. Jalan Suka

- Didn't you read the news on Jalan Suka recently? I went there to see the situation for myself....

[legacy66]

Sibeh Creative !! :D

[ddog]

Play along I told her straight

1. Me: Geylang? Yeah, I was feeling a little horny, got myself the most beautiful China girl in cosplay uniform! Only $100 had the time of my life.
GF: You're just kidding, I can tell.

real story btw.

[imax88]

Depend on your vocation, actually. If you are in sales and marketing, a lot of the reasons given by TS can be used like entertainment or business.

There is a lot of new building development in geylang. For the big taukeh, u can use this one. I am buying a new apt for your coming birthday. :D

[Xgenre]

Geylang.

1. I went to temple. Geylang really a lot of temples. Some temples conduct classes.

2. I went to do volunteer work. Really got charities for migrant workers and sex workers here.

3. I went to see showflat. Geylang now got so many mickey mouse units. Mickey mouse units that comes with hanky panky options. From the balcony, watch the nightly flesh parade. Then use a pen laser to point to the girl you want. Once she notices a laser circling her boobs, she will know what you want. Lasers come with so many patterns these days. Just use the number 80 and laser the number on her dress. If she nods her head, you can use the remote control to open the condo's gates already.

4. I went to help a NUS student do survey for his final year project. (real story (http://www.sammyboysexforum.com/showthread.php?t=243606&highlight=)).

5. Turn around and ask the person 'then what are you doing here?' and then say 'Oh, me too.'

6. My elderly father wants me to buy a sex toy he can use on my elder mother. I am here because I am a fillial son.

7. Now durian season mah! Where else to go for good durians? Somemore now PRCs like to eat durians. If I sit alone and eat D24, a pretty PRC might join me and let me touch her D34 or 34D cups lah. When a PRC ask you what is your name, try replying Mao Shan Wang and she will laugh and be impressed. Natural icebreaker. Then you ask her if her name is Yao Qiu Mah? Then you turn around and look at the 2 chinese words found in all durian stalls. 包吃 :)

[shiokpleasure]

Huh? Can use laser to.call girls?

What is yao qiu mah?

[Xgenre]

What is yao qiu mah?

Just talking cock about the laser part. Yao Qiu Mah is 'want to go?'

[alexbi]

Pertain Rd: Actually i didn't even know there got anything going on. I always park there when i go for supper at Scissors Cut Curry Rice. There got free parking at night. Its a short walk over only. :D

[owl888]

Juz say got high tide, looking for toilet :D

[QueeniePeh]

Hmmm but i think all the excuses that you guys mention, more or less the girls had heard it before.

So imagine she keep asking you : really meh? then how come you never tell me first? must get caught then try to explain now.

Hong Gan Liao.

Even i have doubt when my guy friends/colleague told me all these, i just reply "Orh, you happy jiu hao."


Spa: Colleague/Friends brought the ticket from deal.sg/groupon lei, you think got special meh?

Geylang: Go there test my driving skill and its along the way to your house ma.

Karaoke: Bo bian go one, go there finish my colleague balance bottle. Previously i reject him cause pei you ma.

All these answer make me speechless. :eek:

[cmdleader]

TS.. very creative.. very good excuses..Tks:)

[TigerGeneral]

Sibeh Creative !! :D

The mata who reading this post/thread surely will scratch his head. :p :D

[eEconomist]

The basic rule is :

Whatever it is, just DENY!!!

Unless you are caught with your prick inside another hole, other than this just DENY!!

Even if you are caught literally with your pants down, just say you only ask for HJ!!

DENY!!!!

[solountipo]

The basic rule is :
[B]
Whatever it is, just DENY!!!

DENY!!!!

ROFL agree fully!

[power88]

hahaha...damn creative all the answer given..:)
I am thinking if in different trade or working class, we can also give different excuses.
In Geylang tio spotted,
If you are a:
1) Doctor : I go Geylang do medical review for patients ma, she is wheelbound so I need to make the trip lor.
2) Office staff: I running errand for my Boss go Geylang collect cheque and some 'demo' catalogue :p
3) Sales line: My client want to make appointment with me at Geylang, I aso bo-pian, LL aso need to meet there wor. my client say the coffee there nicer and more viewable..
4) Renovation contractor: Got some rich OKT want me to go decorate his brothel into 5star hotel, got $$ aso dun want to earn meh?
5) Banker: i looking for potential high-roller to donate thier $ into my commission bag, rather than to the whore, Geylang more ppl to look for. I really got no choice de, my Dear. "p
6) Engineer: I go Geylang MRT to check for any loose scaffolding anot? LTa want me to go, so i go lor..
7) Police Mata: This one no need to excuse bah..I go there aso no use, all ppl see me sure run, i go there maciam walking in the desert, so lonely.
8) Factory work: Jialat! this one i aso clueless...in factory working how come go Geylang?!?! (maybe just admit to say: I'm force to clear unpay leave by my Boss, i think i gonna tio trench...i am so sad so I go everywhere jalan jalan until i reach geylang unknowingly..:p

I think i stop here...hope other bros if can think of other trade can contribute and have abit of laugh too..
cheers :)

[Xgenre]

Hmmm but i think all the excuses that you guys mention, more or less the girls had heard it before.

So imagine she keep asking you : really meh? then how come you never tell me first? must get caught then try to explain now.

Men lie to women because the men love the women. Will you want your guy to honestly tell you that he went for paid sex because you are not as good in bed as you used to be anymore? Will you prefer a guy who goes for paid sex but comes home to you nightly or will you prefer a guy who doesn't pay for sex but has a mistress or a FB outside? Paid sex guys don't get emotionally involved with the FL. Better for you and for any kids you might have.

[eEconomist]

hahaha...damn creative all the answer given..:)
I am thinking if in different trade or working class, we can also give different excuses.
In Geylang tio spotted,
If you are a:
1) Doctor : I go Geylang do medical review for patients ma, she is wheelbound so I need to make the trip lor.
2) Office staff: I running errand for my Boss go Geylang collect cheque and some 'demo' catalogue :p
3) Sales line:.................

Thanks for your contribution on excuses based on occupation. Great contribution. Upz you 11 points!

[xupernatural]

If get spotted, strike 1st: hey, what u doing here?! Come enjoy huh?
After the excuse is given: ooi, I tiam tiam if u tiam tiam, steady? No need for others to know we were here hor. Nx time come jio me leh...
But if the cat still gets out of the bag, my standard reply is: I stay at lor17, on the way back home.:)
Don't go to other joints like ktv, hc, pertian, etc...gl's my only haunt thus far

[joncheong]

Men lie to women because the men love the women. Will you want your guy to honestly tell you that he went for paid sex because you are not as good in bed as you used to be anymore? Will you prefer a guy who goes for paid sex but comes home to you nightly or will you prefer a guy who doesn't pay for sex but has a mistress or a FB outside? Paid sex guys don't get emotionally involved with the FL. Better for you and for any kids you might have.

well said bro!:)

[shiokpleasure]

hahaha...damn creative all the answer given..:)
I am thinking if in different trade or working class, we can also give different excuses.
In Geylang tio spotted,
If you are a:
1) Doctor : I go Geylang do medical review for patients ma, she is wheelbound so I need to make the trip lor.
2) Office staff: I running errand for my Boss go Geylang collect cheque and some 'demo' catalogue :p
3) Sales line: My client want to make appointment with me at Geylang, I aso bo-pian, LL aso need to meet there wor. my client say the coffee there nicer and more viewable..
4) Renovation contractor: Got some rich OKT want me to go decorate his brothel into 5star hotel, got $$ aso dun want to earn meh?
5) Banker: i looking for potential high-roller to donate thier $ into my commission bag, rather than to the whore, Geylang more ppl to look for. I really got no choice de, my Dear. "p
6) Engineer: I go Geylang MRT to check for any loose scaffolding anot? LTa want me to go, so i go lor..
7) Police Mata: This one no need to excuse bah..I go there aso no use, all ppl see me sure run, i go there maciam walking in the desert, so lonely.
8) Factory work: Jialat! this one i aso clueless...in factory working how come go Geylang?!?! (maybe just admit to say: I'm force to clear unpay leave by my Boss, i think i gonna tio trench...i am so sad so I go everywhere jalan jalan until i reach geylang unknowingly..:p

I think i stop here...hope other bros if can think of other trade can contribute and have abit of laugh too..
cheers :)

Like that the best is property agent. Geyland specialist, everyday also go

[power88]

Thanks for your contribution on excuses based on occupation. Great contribution. Upz you 11 points!

Hi bro eEconomist, thanks alot for upping me, really appreciate it :)
Actually it just come across my mind as recently i was aso activated to go Geylang due to work. I at that time aso worry i might meet some familar ppl.

Let me contribute a few more trade so as to mark the joke of the day, hope other bros will like it

If you are a:
Firefighter: oh my dear, i go Geylang to help put out fire, u know aso right, geyland is alway full of 'fire', i merely go there to ease it..very noble leh me u know :o

Civil defence: i go Geylang to rescue ppl out of the trapped under bed, u know there are so many rocking beds in the house, so many accidents happening..:(

Businessman: my recently friend entrust his pimp business to me so i go jar-garand make sure all my ladies are above 18. I no want to go to jail wor and let ppl point me as 25仔。

Condom supplier: wahz this one u accuse me, i aso wordless leh.. my main income income supply come from wonderland G place, u dun let me go there, u:D expect me go Tuas meh?

[imax88]

Men lie to women because the men love the women. Will you want your guy to honestly tell you that he went for paid sex because you are not as good in bed as you used to be anymore? Will you prefer a guy who goes for paid sex but comes home to you nightly or will you prefer a guy who doesn't pay for sex but has a mistress or a FB outside? Paid sex guys don't get emotionally involved with the FL. Better for you and for any kids you might have.

No point to up u bro but I really like your post. we are in SBF cos we enjoy sex and have unfulfilled need.

We, guys have wives cos we want a family and a stabile enviroment to raise the next generation. We love our wives but we, sometimes have needs that go beyond our conjugal duties.Hence, we go to geylang, find FB and pcc. staying truthful and eating out is a conflict and has been a torment. I am not a saint and I always ponder what I will do if I got caught one day.

This thread hold the many experiences of chionging brothers here and some are just hilarious judging from the many reasons/excuses given. I dread what I will do if get caught. Probably, I will come clean and say what I had said earlier. Hope our marriage foundation can stand and probably that will be the end of my chionging adventure.

[sulphur]

My answers.

1. Geylang
- Went there to find prostitutes! ALL SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! I TOOK TEN!!!!!! Keep praising their looks and figures in a very exaggerating way. Also describe things like one on your left , one on your right and etc...
By then whoever caught you will think you are bullshitting. Then you just say
:"No lah, went to eat nia."

LOL you will be surprised the convo will end there.


2. SPA

- I went to let beautiful girls touch me and I took FULL SERVICE!!! SONG~~
By then whoever you had convo with will be dumbfounded.
Then suddenly switch focus and say actually the facilities all damn song~~

There should definitely be some micro description on praising the facitlities.
Then last sentence should be :"sigh too bad girl dont have such places to go"

End the convo with focus on the other party.

3. Karaoke

- Went there due to event(Think of something reasonable like biz or friend bday).
- Keep complaining of the expensive liquor.
- My resort was complaining on the girls. "KNN I went toilet and on the way I saw my girl in another room frenching with another guy!!!!" FUCK I was so disgusted!!!!!!!!!!
- End the convo with disgust so that the other party has no chance of being disgusted with you as you already directed the feeling of disgust to the place.


4. Pertain Road

- LOL this one easy dude. Lots of hardware shops there. Say go to hardware shops kia kia. If you are caught walking out from inside. Say take money from friend. So prepare a few hundred dollars in wallet first. Then keep complaining about if you dont collect now it will keep dragging. Then complain further :CB got money find girl no money pay me!!! No matter where he is I will find him!!!!" Then show money and show happiness in getting money back.

5. Tuina

- I will say body all aching try try this shop coz cheap. All aunties inside and all damn ugly.
Actually most girls always find aunties not dangerous. They always ask massage girls pretty or not. So I just say auntie then 50% off the insecurity liao. The rest easy to settle.

Just sharing my thoughts.

[threetreasure]

my excuse is... oh is my friend asked me to go there to "rescue" him bcos he forget he did not bring money, but still call girl.. now no money pay, call me to go "rescue" him (mean take money n pay for him) lor... will this excuse work? haha...

[matthew44]

Haha.. I say.. See house Loh... Want to buy one there.. Returns very good la..

[eEconomist]

Men lie to women because the men love the women. Will you want your guy to honestly tell you that he went for paid sex because you are not as good in bed as you used to be anymore? Will you prefer a guy who goes for paid sex but comes home to you nightly or will you prefer a guy who doesn't pay for sex but has a mistress or a FB outside? Paid sex guys don't get emotionally involved with the FL. Better for you and for any kids you might have.

Agree with what you said!

[westendgirl]

bro eEconomist
thanks for te expose. will print out & keep te list. you have done us all a great service. :D

we know our men do eat out from time to time but if within reasonable limit usually we keep one eye close. personally i will never go out to catch him but if he eat out & forget to wipe his mouth, it is a different story. it is a sign he is getting complacent & taking me for granted. i dont know what will b my action but when i come to te bridge i will cross it.

p/s just joking about printing out te list. there is thing that is best left unwritten.

[power88]

bro eEconomist
thanks for te expose. will print out & keep te list. you have done us all a great service. :D

we know our men do eat out from time to time but if within reasonable limit usually we keep one eye close. personally i will never go out to catch him but if he eat out & forget to wipe his mouth, it is a different story. it is a sign he is getting complacent & taking me for granted. i dont know what will b my action but when i come to te bridge i will cross it.

p/s just joking about printing out te list. there is thing that is best left unwritten.

This is very true...if a guy does treasure and cherish a relationship, he will by all means clean up any traces or tell tale signs...
If he cant be bother about wiping his mouth after 偷吃, then this relationship will not last very long...

不管是黑猫或是白猫, 懂得偷腥抹嘴的, 应该都是好猫吧。:D

[inline4]

Was questioned twice. Here mine:

1) SPA - Found out that i smell of bathing after a day out. Was caught by surprise as CO was home due to taking time off.

My Ans: I only go there for a session of relieving backache. Was intro by 'common friend whom had the same mindset as me' that their massage is good.

2) Pertain rd - Found out due to a friend of her spotted me over there.

My Ans: Aiya i went there to buy my bike spare parts/oil to fix on my own.

[Dreamworks]

Came to Eat Mao Shan Wang....:D

[SonyPlaystation]

My answer for all will be
"Walao didn't know Singapore so small also can get lost hor"

[Invoke1234]

1. Geylang
- Exploring food places, next time bring you along.

2. SPA
- Feels good, you will like it too, next time bring you along.

3. KTV
- Ya the mamasan asked me how many girls I want...
我要打十个! - 叶问

4. Pertain Road
- Where is that? Is it a fun place? You know where it is? Next time, you bring me along.

5. Tuina
- Feels good, you will like it too, next time bring you along.

[TieGuanYinCha]

Totally agree with what bro Xgenre said ;)

[eEconomist]

Was questioned twice. Here mine:

1) SPA - Found out that i smell of bathing after a day out. Was caught by surprise as CO was home due to taking time off.


I was caught on the soapy smell part too. But it was my elder sister whom caught me. I was single back then. Since then I smart liao. When bathing, in SPA or GL, make sure I wash the smell off with lots of water or bath with minimal soap.

After bathing walking around and perspire. Make sure no smell before going home!!

[Max77]

GL

i wanted to learn wing chun very long ago but everytime come the master not around so come again another day lor

HEE HEE HEE

[mario21]

This thread very funny! 'like'

[eEconomist]

Anybody anything else to add?

[kindguy]

maybe can use the following "reason",

- i was there to sell "ice cream"
- i was there to sell "orang bisang" (banana) (sorry if i spelling wronly)
- i was there to "put out" fire
- I was there to "rescue" a friend (the pro)
- I was there to do a research stduy on "red light district life"
- I was there to see whether u (the one who caught u) r here and ask why u r here too?

[Stabil0]

Anybody anything else to add?
What about "I am here to collect my debt !" ? :)