[Advice Needed] Girlfriend

[binggabanga]

Hi everyone here,

I know this maybe the wrong place to post this question, but i really need everyone's advice or comments.

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for more than 2 years, and sometimes we do have sex occasionally. But she doesn't seem to like it as much as i do. Well, yes i do have a very high sex drive but she doesn't. We've talked about this many a times but apparently its bringing us nowhere.

Recently, she told me that she don't wish for me to talk cheekily, or anything about sex. Nor does she want to have sex anymore. She just tells me she wants a pure, clean, innocent relationship, where its just about love.

I love her, a lot. And I don't want to leave her. I know that both of us love each other so much and never wanted to break off.

I don't want to find any other girl to satisfy my needs because i love my girlfriend too much and i don't wish to do anything to hurt our relationship. But i really have no idea how i can ask my girlfriend about sex.

We're both 21, and i really need sincere advice from people here.

I appreciate it alot. Thank you

[erectile]

If you really love her then you should respect her.

[IBCBen]

This forum is all about sex.

So if ya gf cant give u sex, time to change a new one.

[tomcat007]

Get a new car..

[BonBonWin]

Hi everyone here,

I know this maybe the wrong place to post this question, but i really need everyone's advice or comments.

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for more than 2 years, and sometimes we do have sex occasionally. But she doesn't seem to like it as much as i do. Well, yes i do have a very high sex drive but she doesn't. We've talked about this many a times but apparently its bringing us nowhere.

Recently, she told me that she don't wish for me to talk cheekily, or anything about sex. Nor does she want to have sex anymore. She just tells me she wants a pure, clean, innocent relationship, where its just about love.

I love her, a lot. And I don't want to leave her. I know that both of us love each other so much and never wanted to break off.

I don't want to find any other girl to satisfy my needs because i love my girlfriend too much and i don't wish to do anything to hurt our relationship. But i really have no idea how i can ask my girlfriend about sex.

We're both 21, and i really need sincere advice from people here.

I appreciate it alot. Thank you


What is more important to have sex or your relationship with your gf ?

[DreamOfLust]

Respect her dude... she is your girlfriend


Not fb or fl.. maintain a platonic and.healthy relationship with her if that is what she wants.

[alan0338]

standby to change a new gal liao ... maybe she is seeing someone else ... :o

[IBCBen]

What is more important to have sex or your relationship with your gf ?

If you really love her then you should respect her.

All these are the "correct" advice. But seriously, if your gf (your wife-to-be)refuse to have sex with you, dont tell me you going to PCC for the rest of your life ? :rolleyes:

If she is not going to be your wife-to-be, might as well break off now ?

[freezetheDB]

most women need to be pampered. Sex is natural and ought to be natural and instinctive and women dislike it when everything you have done for them has to lead to sex. It is an anti-sex factor for them.

They prefer romantic dates, and if it leads to sex, it will be a passionate one.

My OC dont like to give blowjobs if I ask for it. When the chemistry is right, she auto goes down on me (usually to my surprise), and I can CIM if I want and she will swallow it all up (just so it doesnt get messy). But if I CIM I have to work harder to get the 2nd round coming in order to return the favour.

My advice is just relax abit and work on the relationship and if nothing improves maybe its time to move on as she might have another guy, or if she has become a hardcore xtian (which u should avoid marrying if u r not one too)

[curiouslala]

my advice is dont make it like sex.
bcos you're in a relationship, make love to her..

for guys maybe its not different between sex and make love..
but for gals, its different..

with sex they feel like its something that they should do to make u happy..
but with make love, she will be a willing partner(like me)..

i wish you're not like a jerk that i used to know..
who just kiss abit then touch abit then want to go inside her so soon..
you're not paying a pros to hv sex to you..
she's your gf..

kiss her in her lips, cheek, face, neck, body, everywhere..
make her hot, high and horny all over her body..
make her feel u loving her thoroughly..
make her beg for u to fill her bcos she cant tahan anymore..
and this foreplay isnt something that u can do within 5-10 mins..
spend more time la..

the more she enjoy it, the more she will want u to repeat it..
then she will crave for it..

i dont know whether this trick would work to ur gf..
but it does work to me.. :D

[SharkAttack]

i 2nd ice n freeze comments. Basically if u ve the cash n skills to create n work hard for thar romantic atmosphere, then sex is a reward for your hardwork.

I prefer a lot of guys out there at your age just enter the r/s just for the thrill of sex. Hit n run. But if you're in for the long haul be it married like other old timer samsters or a playboy wanna be like the hk actor, you need to know the do n donts, create more pull then push factors and be the right lady's man.

Soak in the experience, fine tune it to your lifestyle and have the balls to go for it, just like one samster who post the link on why we shd approach a pretty lady if we see on the streets of sg!

Cheers

[muscleboi]

Dude,
women almost always contradict what they say. she said she just wants a pure, clean and innocent relationship for a while maybe...I'm guessing the reason she said that is because she wants you to think about sex as part of the relationship but not the core of the relationship so probably by saying that she wants an innocent relationship, she wants you to take sex off your mind for a while, not eternity. either that or she may be interested in someone else..just a possibility but not an absolute.

think about it. if you have high sex drive and she's getting less interested in sex, don't you feel you are torturing yourself being with her? I'm just saying...food for thought.

or maybe she got this female ego thing...she knows you have high sex drive and she purposely don't want to have sex with you..women...just show her your world isn't revolving around her and she MAY show more affection toward you..again its a possibility not an absolute..

[lordstriker]

You are the one at the driver seat, so guide her through the process, you will be like a teacher, think of something to make your lesson more interesting and can excite the student. she will ask for more lessons and will be a hardworking student automatically. Remember woman will be forever a woman, she wants you to take initiative in sex ;) Come on!

[DreamOfLust]

This thread has attracted many golden advices from sbf bros

[MoralEpitome]

My take is if she doesn't want to have sex with you means she don't love you anymore, time to look for a new gf. When my gf and I were in love, we want to bonk everyday. When the love is gone, you won't feel like having it.

[unicel74]

Hi Bro,

Honestly, maybe there's a change in the relationship...as you grow up your views, needs and wants changes as times grow.
Maybe you didnt give her the "Security" feeling....after sex what you do jux dose off? or you hug her and share your tots and feelings with her another type of intimatcy...

The worst scenario is she may be seeing someone or she doesnt want to continue the relationship.

or she may feel insecure as she may feel that you only care about having sex with her only course or a healthy r/s doesnt just work on sex alone. Is the sharing of all things honest and transparent...

You may ask urself does both of you share your deepest secret or tots of feelings?
both of you able to share/ communicate your sexual desire? Is all about communication and the feeling of secure of ladies... Guys normally are the physical pple. Girls need more than sex is all about the mind, the body and brain...

jux my 2 cents worth...No offence

[maxman]

Many girls and young women, often including those in early 20s but sometimes older, tend to hold an innocent/pure/chaste perception of love that is sex-less,like that of the fairy tales of childhood. (Think Snow White, Cinderella, etc.) They want to be romanced and feel treasured as special. Keep in mind, women are more emotionally orientated but men are more physically orientated. What excites us sexually is quite different but sometimes it can be similar (such as lust).

Scientists have found that feelings of love are induced by chemicals released by our brains. In other words, love can be scientifically explained. It's not some strange unknown phenomena. Of course there will be people who disagree to this. These lovey feeling chemicals produced by the brain tend to subside and stop around 12-24 months, and it also tends to coincide with loss/lack of lovey dovey feelings which can lead to break-up.

Females will gradually feel less in love, and when they do, they may question themselves why love has gone, or if they still love you. Quite surely when they don't feel love anymore, or feel it has gone, they lose interest in sex and may stop it. Keep in mind, women generally and naturally link love and sex, or in other words, if they feel loved, they want/give sex. Males tend to operate the opposite way, that is, have sex and then feel love (again the chemicals released by the brain).

She may not know why the lovey dovey feeling has subsided, but love really comes and goes with many young women.

[maxman]

most women need to be pampered. Sex is natural and ought to be natural and instinctive and women dislike it when everything you have done for them has to lead to sex. It is an anti-sex factor for them.

They prefer romantic dates, and if it leads to sex, it will be a passionate one.

My OC dont like to give blowjobs if I ask for it. When the chemistry is right, she auto goes down on me (usually to my surprise), and I can CIM if I want and she will swallow it all up (just so it doesnt get messy). But if I CIM I have to work harder to get the 2nd round coming in order to return the favour.

My advice is just relax abit and work on the relationship and if nothing improves maybe its time to move on as she might have another guy, or if she has become a hardcore xtian (which u should avoid marrying if u r not one too)


I agree with your opinion and observations (with your wife). When women are in love with a man, she willingly pleasures him sexually. Men who have been in such loving relationships would have observed this with their women too, and chances are, these men enjoy better, naughtier, dirtier, messier, sex, if you know what I mean.

If you don't, just read the thread "Fucking in the public area" and you will understand.

[Snah]

Sounds like u jus wan her for sex. That's prob why she behaved this way. U shd give her Space. Or she could have found a better tool than you. At this pt decide which is impt to you- love or sex.

[n30n]

She just wants to know you know when to hold your reins back. Maybe you have been too touchy feely at the wrong time, and it puts her off.

So now you need to put yourself in control. PCC if you need. Don't let your other head take priority of her emotional needs. Fulfill her needs, and you'll have yours met.

[Papadude]

TS, is she your first GF?
At 21, your girl still quiet young leh...
Don't ruin her life please.....

You sound like you also very immature leh....
:mad:

[Krazzie]

Hi everyone here,

I know this maybe the wrong place to post this question, but i really need everyone's advice or comments.

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for more than 2 years, and sometimes we do have sex occasionally. But she doesn't seem to like it as much as i do. Well, yes i do have a very high sex drive but she doesn't. We've talked about this many a times but apparently its bringing us nowhere.

Recently, she told me that she don't wish for me to talk cheekily, or anything about sex. Nor does she want to have sex anymore. She just tells me she wants a pure, clean, innocent relationship, where its just about love.

I love her, a lot. And I don't want to leave her. I know that both of us love each other so much and never wanted to break off.

I don't want to find any other girl to satisfy my needs because i love my girlfriend too much and i don't wish to do anything to hurt our relationship. But i really have no idea how i can ask my girlfriend about sex.

We're both 21, and i really need sincere advice from people here.

I appreciate it alot. Thank you

Seriously... no sex? Somemore you claim you are someone with HIGH sex drive, are you sure you can take it? You are already considering breaking up with her over this (that's the whole point of this thread right?), give you another year of NO SEX. Can you take it? :rolleyes:

If you are not able to make the ultimate sacrifice.... no sex for the rest of your life. You know what to do. :rolleyes:

[deludedgal]

Males tend to operate the opposite way, that is, have sex and then feel love (again the chemicals released by the brain).



Really? is this true? can guys reply

[darkmatter]

to improve u need to lead in yr rs
its liked flying a kite,knowing when to pull and when to release
always be in control and not too nice to them
ur jus too young to knw it all
have a few more rs den u will be able to master the advice from all the brothers here

[chucky69]

Do not make the mistake of having a FB and keeping her as a girlfriend.

U r young.. go out there and bonk your life away. forget getting serious. At 21 she is not going to be with you forever. U r just too young to be in love and want sex at the same time.
She has a different agenda at this stage of her life.

[maxman]

Really? is this true? can guys reply

It is sometimes true/valid although some men may want to fall in love first before having sex. Otherwise, this is why some men fall in love with the sex they buy (prostitutes). Keep in mind that these are women they chose in secret and not to told/shown to parents and friends.

Every so often we see a man here writing about his lovey feelings for a prostitute he regularly patronizes. He typically wants to remove (rescue) her from the sex trade, take her home and even marry her.

Science explains that after orgasm, our brains release feel-good lovey-dovey chemicals. Coupled with a intimate sex act that has the GFE (girlfriend experience) that some prostitutes skillfully or cunningly use on the man to provide as excellent customer service, he could be a sure-kill prey between her legs after some time.

[Smextisfaction]

Sex is such an important thing in a relationship. It says so much about the physical and emotional status of each of you actually. Don't make feel like her thinking of sex is just to fulfil your sexual desires only. It has to be both sides on an agreeable note to enjoy if. If she really insists on not having sex and be in a so call 'clean' relationship, then maybe she either already lost the intimacy of being sexually involved with you or when you are so hard on wanting sex right away from her, it can also be a turn off for her.

Just be your authentic self, let her feel the love from you and maybe it might help to work things out. Don't try to make it feel like you're going nuts from not having sex with her. Throughout this process, maybe you can find out the 'real' answer why she would treat you this way.

If she avoid intimacy etc,
Scenario: maybe she has feelings for another guy and feel the guilt of having sex with you further more. Maybe she might be stressed in some aspects of life with irks her when you demand for sex?

You may be best off cutting her loose. Tell her you love her and want her to have what is best for her but that you can't have a relationship this way. Ask her to take some time to think about it and that you will be doing some thinking too. Then get out with your buddies and try to have some fun or at least to keep busy. Once she no longer feels committed to you and knows you aren't there to do her homework, she may realize that she does want you still in her life. That's all about you can do.

Side-note, Release yourself and don't feel stressful! We got lots of good recommendations from our SBY bros here to help you release some stress!:D

Cheers!

[Pokka]

Frankly, sex is not something you need for a life partner. Maybe at 20s, but as you get older, you find that companionship and care is what matters most. You want someone who will go through thick and thin, up and down, rich and poor with you. Someone who will support you through life, emotionally, physically, and maybe financially when times are really bad. Such companionship and care cannot be bought with money, but sex can.

If she can't cook, eat out. You can pay the chef to cook for you, but you can't pay the chef to understand you inside out.

Not saying that sex is not important, but it is not something that you should factor in when choosing a life partner. if have, good. If dun, also like that. Intimacy is key, not sex.

[unsung80]

U got yourself a holy gf, congrats. Better stop reading stories from bros here. Probably ur current gf can't fulfill anythig. All the best for your r/s.

[jintakken]

It is sometimes true/valid although some men may want to fall in love first before having sex. Otherwise, this is why some men fall in love with the sex they buy (prostitutes). Keep in mind that these are women they chose in secret and not to told/shown to parents and friends.

Every so often we see a man here writing about his lovey feelings for a prostitute he regularly patronizes. He typically wants to remove (rescue) her from the sex trade, take her home and even marry her.

Science explains that after orgasm, our brains release feel-good lovey-dovey chemicals. Coupled with a intimate sex act that has the GFE (girlfriend experience) that some prostitutes skillfully or cunningly use on the man to provide as excellent customer service, he could be a sure-kill prey between her legs after some time.

Well said.

[Ahjon86]

Well bro.. You can try to set the mood right by having good kisses and foreplay helps alot..

It's good to know that u love her and want to be faithful to her.. But always remember that a healthy relationship is both ways and I cannot help but agree that if she loves u just as much sex shouldn't be a problem in your relationship as its suppose to be a natural thing..



[True story] My school motivation retreat turn mini orgy

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=273354

[newfly76]

dude, relationship is not only abt sex. Here's a short version of my 'story'. I met a girl at the airport, while on transit. I fly a lot on business.. occasionally you get lucky.

She is not the most attractive girl that most guys will take 10s to take a peak. Nevertheless, she is atractive enaugh for me. We chatted a bit and ends up bf/gf in no time.

Long story short, we did some fooling ard but i respect her wish for no sex for a a couple of years.

Fast forward 12 years and we are happily married for 10 years. Like most 'old' couples, i'm not getting much either. once or twice a month if i'm lucky. Most important is we still enjoying each other in more ways than one. :)

So, bro, i would say try it out. See if you still want her as bad with not sex. When you guys get married, the it wil be a real honeymoon! I know i did!

p/s: Now, i still travel for work, and occasionaly struck a conversation with some SYT. I do feel 'old' and hard to get into a real, intelligent conversation with a 18/20 yrs old chick. Of course, nothing beat a young thing in bed, but i rather hang out with someone i can have a conversation with!

Good Luck !

[nuclearkid]

At 21, most of us who had gfs then do not end up marrying them. You are both at phases of your lives where philosophies and ideologies are evolving at its fastest and many relationships do not survive this tumultuous stage.

Nursing a wood - that's an erection for those unfamiliar with this term - every other hour (you are afterall only 21 and us blokes have runaway libidos at this age) is probably causing you consternation about your celibate lifestyle right now. Since you claim to be in love with each other, enjoy the relationship for what it is and start worrying only when you are about to marry this gf of yours. If she insists no or minimal sex after marriage, I guess you know you are fucked. :D

[imax88]

TS, if the sexual drive of your gf is not there at 21, you are not going to get more as time goes by. your libido is only a passing phase and there are more important stuff in life to do for a 21, like education. social circle and career.

only you can make that decisive decision. weigh the pro and con of the relationship, compatibility in other areas like hobbies, intellect, outlook is equally important.

you are young and can afford to make mistake. but dont take too long to let go after you realize the relationship has no future.

[outofsex]

Bro learn to let go
it's part and parcel of life
and it's a part of growing up
get more gf and change more, eventually u will knw wat u want in life or in someone whom u think can make u willingly to put on yr 'suffe Ring'

[TheEvilDoer]

Recently, she told me that she don't wish for me to talk cheekily, or anything about sex. Nor does she want to have sex anymore. She just tells me she wants a pure, clean, innocent relationship, where its just about love.

Looks like you have been friendzoned, you better run now and not commit to anything before the women charter pawns you the rest of your life.

[(o)(o) Tuner]

I think "INSECURE" is the word that's flashing on her mind. Both you guys are still young, so she probably feels you are unstable in many ways, financially & career...etc. Moreover, she might also thought having pre-marriage sex is morally wrong.

You are still young and energetic. I suggest you spend more effort in your work and try to work your way up in the corporate ladder. Continue your relationship and let nature takes its course. Remember, a man is nothing without a successful career.