AM i wrong?

[water123]

I met my ex recently, thru unexplained coincident. All i think of was to have a coffee with her and catch up to see how she is, after 20yrs. I have a soft spot for her, of her demure and her eyes, the way she look at me which no one did, like she could see thru me, understand and appreciate me.

She is married, with 2 kids. Then she went on abt her problems......that lead to a messy incident....

Now she accused me of interrupting her life. Blaming me for contacting her. Am i wrong?

[sta1100]

Like how ?? after coffee did you do more than that ??? If not only over a cup of coffee you have not done any wrong

[asdfghjkl]

as in he made her drank coffee but she is allergic to it? so she vomited and made a mess? :confused:

[wallace741852]

"messy incident"
Maybe you like to elaborate this is?
You had an affair with her?

[dander]

Of course you are wrong.

[nuclearkid]

She just needs someone to blame for not wholly controlling herself. And her reaction like that, chances are, she still thinks of you (did you take her cherry?) or utterly hates your guts for the split (again, did you take her cherry?). She was initially being cordial to you until her dislike overwhelmed her.

Regardless of the reason(s), you would probably be better off not having anything to do with her. Plus the way you described her, your soft spot could lead to a hard problem. Steer clear before trouble troubles you.:D

[Kenko123]

yes. terrible wrong.
if she had family that u lead her to a messy life and mess out her family life too ?

[CrisRonaldo7]

yes. frm my experience, never contact ur ex. whts gone is gone, no pt being frens. there are so many other ppl out there. meeting w ur ex just sucked up too much positive energy to me. useless n discouraging

[Asia1]

I met my ex recently, thru unexplained coincident. All i think of was to have a coffee with her and catch up to see how she is, after 20yrs. I have a soft spot for her, of her demure and her eyes, the way she look at me which no one did, like she could see thru me, understand and appreciate me.

She is married, with 2 kids. Then she went on abt her problems......that lead to a messy incident....

Now she accused me of interrupting her life. Blaming me for contacting her. Am i wrong?

u have nothing better to do? u r definitely wrong

[Xgenre]

She is married, with 2 kids.

With 2 kids involved, it's better to leave her alone. If her 2 kids grow up in a broken family, that's really terrible.

[InnocentStar]

With 2 kids involved, it's better to leave her alone. If her 2 kids grow up in a broken family, that's really terrible.

That is very correct .

[kutaocheng]

I met my ex recently, thru unexplained coincident. All i think of was to have a coffee with her and catch up to see how she is, after 20yrs. I have a soft spot for her, of her demure and her eyes, the way she look at me which no one did, like she could see thru me, understand and appreciate me.

She is married, with 2 kids. Then she went on abt her problems......that lead to a messy incident....

Now she accused me of interrupting her life. Blaming me for contacting her. Am i wrong?

Care to elaborate more?

[n30n]

There's nothing wrong in contacting her.
It's her own fault that she don't know how to control her own emotions and actions.

Err.. unless you did force something on her against her will?

[126franky]

Yes u are wrong and she too is at fault. Blame her for accepting watever u had to offer her which allows u to enter. If the door is closed and locked and chained up, no one can enter, but u are at wrong to take the first step to try to enter.



What ever it is dun ever get urself into court case or shitty stuff and u are, somehow, still safe at the boarder line.

[Yama-Shikata]

Please dont 50-50..

You tell story halfway, how u expect us to know if you are wrong ?

Please tell 100%

[alan0338]

if she is still with a husband, then better be careful, sekali tio liak kena break arms and legs then i be lafing at u... :eek: :eek: :D

[bonkster]

Throughout history, woman has always been an object of sex for man n man an object of blame for woman.

I'm sure u must have observed your fair share of women blaming their BFs, ex-BFs, husbands, ex-husbands, brothers, fathers, etc.

My advice is to suck it up n take a chill pill. Sometimes it's not a matter of right or wrong, once u ask yourself "so what if i'm right"? ;):p

[callmebad]

Both are already adults.
When things happened, only know how to blame people.
People who behave this way tend to be those who don't want to take responsibilities for their actions
They feel that they do nothing wrong and the fault only lies with others.
They are always right and others are always wrong.
When something messes up, both are in the wrong and if possible, both should take the responsibilities to do some damage control.
It is a blessing that you didn't choose her to be your wife.

[water123]

i am only asking is it wrong to contact yr ex and meet up for coffee? Jus so simple.

[chenpaul]

i am only asking is it wrong to contact yr ex and meet up for coffee? Jus so simple.

Yes, it is wrong to contact yr ex and meet up for coffee without asking for sex :D

[Bebeque]

It takes two to clap, if she just clap or only you clap,,, no sound.

If you now wonder whether you are wrong, then you presumably are taking time to reflect on the situation. This is good. If you now think some action(s) of yours in your interaction with her lead to "a mess" and is regretful, the best course of action is to pack up and scram.

What is the past is past, and every single bro and sis has his or her own problems. Stick to resolving your own rather than be involved in others' and you will not be asking yourself whether you are wrong ...unless you are willingly trying to add some spice to your life ... and thus, don't ask other people if you are wrong...

[dream888]

Ya, U are wrong to have coffee with ur ex. Nothing will come out well from such meetings. From the looks of it, she is still blaming U for ur past relationship with her. So pls don't bother with her again.

[escaflower]

i am only asking is it wrong to contact yr ex and meet up for coffee? Jus so simple.

Ts, then why u bother ask here.. u only feed us the surface details and nv tell us what mess u create for her. U dun have to be specific but at least present a full pic story in summary for us to judege better .. much better rather than we assume this happen or that happen.

[netjumper]

First 2nd best, now ex-girlfriend ... Haaaahaaa ... What's next? :D

[camoman]

Wah.... 20 years. Mine break for a few years don't even want to bother with me. She must really hate me.

[5ag1_Boar]

i am only asking is it wrong to contact yr ex and meet up for coffee? Jus so simple.

No, there is nothing wrong with that.

She can't control her feelings, so she blame you.

In my opinion, cut all contact with her NOW. Ignore all calls and SMSes from her. If she can blame you now for something so simple, imagine what else she's going to laden on you if things gets deeper (regardless of whether you are participating or not, she could be getting herself more involved with you and continued contact, positive or negative, will lead her deeper down the path).

[frostiee]

Oh jeez... So what happened after you finally met your 2 kids? Did they call you "papa"? Lolx

Comon la TS, you start a thread and leave it dangling halfway, what do you expect us to comment on?

[water123]

First 2nd best, now ex-girlfriend ... Haaaahaaa ... What's next? :D

next will be steamy field reports....LOLx

[water123]

It takes two to clap, if she just clap or only you clap,,, no sound.

If you now wonder whether you are wrong, then you presumably are taking time to reflect on the situation. This is good. If you now think some action(s) of yours in your interaction with her lead to "a mess" and is regretful, the best course of action is to pack up and scram.

What is the past is past, and every single bro and sis has his or her own problems. Stick to resolving your own rather than be involved in others' and you will not be asking yourself whether you are wrong ...unless you are willingly trying to add some spice to your life ... and thus, don't ask other people if you are wrong...

Why cant ask?

[Bebeque]

Why cant ask?

Because you are either too clever and already know the answer to your own question or too stupid to work it through "why cant ask?", after so many comments and advice have been posted by bros.
__________________________________________________ _______________

DRAW SNAKE DON'T NEED TO ADD LEGS.

[water123]

Because you are either too clever and already know the answer to your own question or too stupid to work it through "why cant ask?", after so many comments and advice have been posted by bros.
__________________________________________________ _______________

DRAW SNAKE DON'T NEED TO ADD LEGS.

I want to know what are pple's view on a simple situation. I want to know how many think it is wrong, why wrong? How many right, why right?

When did the forum says i cant ask even i know the answer? Why cant i know what others think abt it.

Just having a simple coffee, what happens after is another issue.

[Bebeque]

I want to know what are pple's view on a simple situation. I want to know how many think it is wrong, why wrong? How many right, why right?

When did the forum says i cant ask even i know the answer? Why cant i know what others think abt it.

Just having a simple coffee, what happens after is another issue.

If you already know the answer, why ask?? The decision of whether right or wrong is obviously yours and yours alone to make.

Kind bros have offered you their answers to what they think of your question, inclusive of deeper implications behind your question, despite the scanty information you provided. When asked to provide more, you did not even bother to reply.

How did you expect bros to make a judgement of whether right of wrong when we do not know what happened after the meeting and what mess was created and how created????? You want to keep your privacy, we respect it and will not force you to disclose them.

However, contrary to what you implied, ..."Just having a simple coffee, what happens after is another issue.[/QUOTE]..." are not so simple, nor separate issues. Exactly what happened thereafter will determined whether it is right or wrong for you as well as well as for well meaning bros who are trying to help you answer your question.

To put it more obviously for you:
1 Why did you call up and meet your EX in the first place if you do not want to stay connected with her. This in itself may not be wrong, just a coffee. But, ...
2 If you want to stay connected with her, remember she is now married with 2 kids...you decide if this behaviour is appropriate and then consider whether right or wrong from your own intentions in the first place.
3 Worse still, if you are also married or in a committed relationship.
4 During and after the coffee, presumably your EX must have told you about her family problems, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Again, it is not wrong for you lend a listening ear to her troubles.
5 What is wrong will be if you then react to what she told you and took some course of action and both of you somehow ended up in a mess as you mentioned. We presumed this is what happened (in the face of your scanty info), or else you would not have started this thread.
6 If you have just listened to her troubles, provide whatever advice you wanted to give and then leave her to sort out her issues on her own, nothing wrong. But unfortunately, we presumed you have not and got involved with her affairs... and ended in a mess (your words), then you decide it yourself if you are wrong to be involved...
7 Unless as mentioned, you wanted to add some spice to your life. If so, then don't ask bros whether you are right or wrong...the decision is yours and yours alone.
8 You started a spark, but did not carefully control the fire thereafter, you now have to decide yourself whether you are right or wrong, if the fire resulted injuring you EX, her family, yourself, your family and others...

SORRY all other bros, just have to go through this long long narative to point out the obvious.

[GowHowSeow]

did you try to fuck her?

[water123]

did you try to fuck her?

she did, not me

[Kenko123]

Well said. I second what bro bebeque wrote.

[callmebad]

no need to torture yourself in thinking what is right or wrong !
what's so big deal about meeting an ex over a cup of tea, if it's only a casual meeting!
really doesn't make a difference
ex is history, the person who is now sleeping with you every night is the present - just be bothered with the present and let history remains history

when comes to man-woman relationship, in certain situation, it can be hard to pin-point what is right or wrong

like in a divorce situation, each side will always say the other person is in the wrong - as a casual observer, how're you going to judge who is right?

but I belief, as adults, we should take responsibilities for our actions, don't like those persons who can only blame others (but don't want to take responsibilities for own actions) when things happen or go wrong

in your case, if something went wrong, I think both of you will be in the wrong, she can't put the blame totally on you, just like someone had already mentioned, it takes 2 hands to clap

right or wrong, not important, from now on, no more contact with your ex again, if not you will always be struggling between 'right' or 'wrong'

[water123]

no need to torture yourself in thinking what is right or wrong !
what's so big deal about meeting an ex over a cup of tea, if it's only a casual meeting!
really doesn't make a difference
ex is history, the person who is now sleeping with you every night is the present - just be bothered with the present and let history remains history

when comes to man-woman relationship, in certain situation, it can be hard to pin-point what is right or wrong

like in a divorce situation, each side will always say the other person is in the wrong - as a casual observer, how're you going to judge who is right?

but I belief, as adults, we should take responsibilities for our actions, don't like those persons who can only blame others (but don't want to take responsibilities for own actions) when things happen or go wrong

in your case, if something went wrong, I think both of you will be in the wrong, she can't put the blame totally on you, just like someone had already mentioned, it takes 2 hands to clap

right or wrong, not important, from now on, no more contact with your ex again, if not you will always be struggling between 'right' or 'wrong'

Nothing went wrong. Everything is fine. Casual Tea is just casual tea. LOL

[peterfish]

Fucxxx u la! eat too full and got nothing to do! post such stupid things!

Lim kopi only must make a big fucxing fuss and announce to the whole world! f u upside chee bye kia.

[bomberjac]

If you already know the answer, why ask?? The decision of whether right or wrong is obviously yours and yours alone to make.

Kind bros have offered you their answers to what they think of your question, inclusive of deeper implications behind your question, despite the scanty information you provided. When asked to provide more, you did not even bother to reply.

How did you expect bros to make a judgement of whether right of wrong when we do not know what happened after the meeting and what mess was created and how created????? You want to keep your privacy, we respect it and will not force you to disclose them.

However, contrary to what you implied, ..."Just having a simple coffee, what happens after is another issue...." are not so simple, nor separate issues. Exactly what happened thereafter will determined whether it is right or wrong for you as well as well as for well meaning bros who are trying to help you answer your question.

To put it more obviously for you:
1 Why did you call up and meet your EX in the first place if you do not want to stay connected with her. This in itself may not be wrong, just a coffee. But, ...
2 If you want to stay connected with her, remember she is now married with 2 kids...you decide if this behaviour is appropriate and then consider whether right or wrong from your own intentions in the first place.
3 Worse still, if you are also married or in a committed relationship.
4 During and after the coffee, presumably your EX must have told you about her family problems, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Again, it is not wrong for you lend a listening ear to her troubles.
5 What is wrong will be if you then react to what she told you and took some course of action and both of you somehow ended up in a mess as you mentioned. We presumed this is what happened (in the face of your scanty info), or else you would not have started this thread.
6 If you have just listened to her troubles, provide whatever advice you wanted to give and then leave her to sort out her issues on her own, nothing wrong. But unfortunately, we presumed you have not and got involved with her affairs... and ended in a mess (your words), then you decide it yourself if you are wrong to be involved...
7 Unless as mentioned, you wanted to add some spice to your life. If so, then don't ask bros whether you are right or wrong...the decision is yours and yours alone.
8 You started a spark, but did not carefully control the fire thereafter, you now have to decide yourself whether you are right or wrong, if the fire resulted injuring you EX, her family, yourself, your family and others...

SORRY all other bros, just have to go through this long long narative to point out the obvious.[/QUOTE]

Well said Bebeque... You said everything thats in my mind....

[keewee]

wats so complicated to think about?
jus part and puzzle of life
so wat even having a meet up

enjoy and listen to yr heart

we are only human

[Bebeque]

I have no intention to hijack this thread, just pointing out the obvious.

I must thank one bro who up my points and bro bomberjac for their support.
Cheers all!!!

[GorDJilla]

I dun see anything wrong with asking ur ex out for coffee. Anw, watever both of u did, im sure its by mutual consent.

Besides, giving such a brief description w/o continuing ur story is so wrong. U cant expect our bros to giv u the answer u are seeking for. If u wan the best answer, its best u speak the truth. :D

[currymee]

It depends on how u ended the relationship, maybe. U muz had hurt her bad last time. Anyway, meeting ex always not a good exp, had a terrible exp before.

The prob may not be u, but someone else beside.

[water123]

So any of your wives meet their ex for coffee?
Will u throw a big fuss if u know abt it?
Or do u suspect anything abt it?
Or do u keep yr cool?
Or just simply act blur?
Or u just grateful she is channeling her attention away from u?
Or u just has a fetish abt it?
Do u secretly hope something happen in btw? like many bros here had done? or sisters...

[peachbloom]

There is no right or wrong.
Everything is in your hand.
Follow your heart what you want.
Your mind and conscience will lead the way.

Creating a mess is part and parcel of life's learning path that comes with human's weakness.
As long you follow your heart and conscience with all your actions.
As long you emerge stronger and better from this episode.

You mentioned both of you met through unexplained coincidence.
It seems both of you had unfinished business and therefore the mess.
It is for you to find out what is in store and control it in your hands.

[Likeucare]

meeting ex is just wrong. never met my ex for once even if it was my fling. know one thing will lead to another then thats it. just stay away from her. some people are just u know they cant control want to meet u. do already then u dun really want commitment right. they start to scold u blame u for everything again. but u know they want u =p. but we deserve better right . we are not to be taken to be screwed

haha find someone who really bothers abt u rather than just the sex part. if not u going to find emptiness in yr whole life :eek:

[kutaocheng]

Bro.. ask this elsewhere la.. this forum is strictly for sexual discussions...
yours is kopi discussion lei...

[LovePotion]

Come on. You know youre wrong. You knew the moment you wanted to meet her you were in for something else. You knew it, you cant say you dont. So just admit it and fix your mistakes.

Really, its that simple.

[suntzu88]

No right or wrong.... Don't meet unless you both want to get back together... Else forget about it.

Good to reflect why the breakup in the first place... Can it be avoided? Can it be salvaged?

[AmericanExpress]

Confused by first post. Did you chance upon her or called her out? If former...I think she is right