Friendship not Sex

[Kenzaro]

Hey guys,

I join sammyboy like very long ago liao reading forums and some threads really make sense :)

My whole life I've never cheated in my relationship before and I think maybe my divorce was just due to my own fault.

12 years ago I met a girl and we got married a year later and then got our own kids (a girl and a boy). I work and work so hard until I own my own retail outlet and going to start another shop at city square mall.

Suddenly! My ex wife told me we're just not suitable to be together... ...at first I thought she had found another guy (guys usually think like that I think) that's why she wanted to divorce with me. She just told me that she wants to go clubbing and have fun and that with me around it's hard for her to do that and she got married too early.

Now we've already divorced and I've given her all rights to both our child. Every month I'm paying her $1000 maintainance for her and 2 kids.

She could settle down 12 years ago and go take the wedding vows together with me but regret it later so how to believe people any more?

I don't think I'll fall in love anymore so I want to join you guys and to make more friends.

During these few years with her I practically only have 1 friend and nobody else. She always makes a fuss if a guy or girl talks to me so I stop contacting them (bad ideal) years ago :(

So sick of my life when all of a sudden want to talk to somebody also that difficult. But thanks all for reading it. It really takes the pressure I'm feeling right off my chest.

[magixballx]

its sad to hear such a thing take care ya, its not the end of the world yet, you still have got people around in this forum to make friends with to have fun just cheer up

[JackieTan]

Hope u get better. :)

[Poet]

Things can only get better. Take care.

[Kenzaro]

I think it's because we were young and had never really played around like clubbing, drinking and stuff like that that's why I don't really blame her for making such a decision.

The only thing that's bothering me is why am I not sad and still can go sammyboy talk cock... ...

weird huh

[andythai]

bro hope you can made some new friends and have a new life:)

[DIDI]

TS look ahead !!! all the best!

[SinDellman]

Brother, there is still a long road for you in front. Enjoy life to the fullest. You must let go the past if you want to do that. Be happy everyday!:p

[BEAT]

I am still single and have no GF, bro this is not end of the world, life still need to go on man. I am sure this forum can make friend aleast if make you feel better. :)

[owl888]

TS u have already delivered 2 kids which is good. Now u can anyhow use your sperm without worrying being wasted.........so many sections to make friends in SBF, e.g KTV, swinging, ....etc. :D

[Unicornfan]

Bro, look forward, it is not the end of the world. I married early too n too with 2 kiddos. I am not experiencing what you went thru though.

Seems like you are taking it well and make more friends, I believe apart from getting a better life ahead, you might make friends here in the forum. The old timers here can give good advice when called upon.

All the best!

[simple2kee]

The only thing that's bothering me is why am I not sad and still can go sammyboy talk cock... ...


who knows better than u r?:D

[alan0338]

time to spend $$$ liao .... :D

[Kenzaro]

Ya I feel more lost then sad you see.

During these 12 years my life was like work & work. Go home play with kids. I go pug once a few years I realise. I meet my friends when fate brings us together on the streets. My ex use metal chain lock me sia.

I just felt wasted and finally awoke. It's dumb getting married at 19. It's stupid to believe a girl 17 telling me she love me and want to get married with me. I'm so gullible at the fact I believed her.

Divorce wasn't the worst thing. It's after divorce you don't have a friend to talk to. But after looking at all the encouragements I don't think I'll be lonely in here.

Just to ask any sites other then this adult friend finder I can get to know more girls?

Ken

[2centsworth]

Just to ask any sites other then this adult friend finder I can get to know more girls?

Besides quantity of people to talk to, quality is also important. It's harder to find people who are sensible and talk sense in some places. Why not join an activity you like and make friends? Do you have things you always wish to do but could never find time or permission to do it while you are married?

Are the kids still living with you? Sounds like she has the custody of the kids and $1000 monthly. You aren't having sex with her anymore right? Why must a divorce happen before she can go clubbing and try to regain her lost youth?

You should have suggested that both of you stay married but allow each other to lead separate lives. She can have all the fun she want, bed all the men she want and you won't be bothered. If she eventually find a new man, you can backdate the divorce to help her marry her new man faster. In both scenarios, you aren't getting sex from her anyway but in the 2nd scenario, your kids will continue to live with you and you do not need to pay $1000 monthly for maintenance. Your kids will grow up in a more normal family than now.

Losing a marriage hurts but not being able to be there with your kids while they are growing up will hurt even more. Stay strong bro.

[wolflust]

Bro I see your case where your ex wife controls who you talk to and stuff.

I see my friends once they got a girlfriend they start to lose communication with their friends. And mind you only girlfriend not even wife. But when things go downhill who they go to? Friends, buddies, bros.

Sorry to say this but your case serves as a reminder to all of us here. Never to lose friendship because surprisingly friendship tend to last longer than relationships.

You have a new life and as I see it a successful career. Seek out your old friends I'm sure have a few old ones before getting married and they will still welcome you. Make new ones also.

Friends will be friends.

[Deesiaokia]

TS.. I also same situation as u.. I known my wife for 6 years before I marry her 3 years ago n divoce 1 year later.. After divorce I m been make to pay 3k maintenance for her n my child .. That time I think I tio gong Tao Liao go n agreed to that 3k maintenance plus ownership of the house..now sibei regret trying to fight that case again..

During that period of time together with her, I basically go home after work no clubbing no happening... No friends cos I can't go cheong without her.. Cant even bio char bo when we go out.. After divoce life change for me..l was intro to sbf by my cousin, I was so amaze that I can make friends here.. Tcss n share share information, read stories wrote by the samsters here, look see look see pictures post by our brothers here.. All the happening kang Taos which I missed out for the past 9 years when with her..

Brother remember that once u r in this forum u r not alone.. Now basically I cheong whenever my friends Jio.. Only Sunday I will stop cos is the day when I see my baby...

TS , life is short play hard, enjoy ...

[stone08]

Gotta to warn unmarried bros that married can be prison...
Gotta pay monthly penalty for freedom..
*sighs* never imagine this kind of *no-life*

[feral888]

3 words for TS. Choice, Priority and Balance.

Get them right and you will find a better tomorrow. :)

[freezetheDB]

take care bro TS
just remember Raw is War

chiong with your armour

[Admiral]

Surely you must be bothered by it to even share about it in the first place. To day that you are not sad over it I'd just comforting yourself

[36F-23-36]

Aiya.. think u too busy to keep your wife company so that she dun feel loved..

Nowadays who can believe in anyone?

Most of my ex bf cheated also..

Realised that man just can't reject any girls along the way, can't b satisfied with one gal at all.

Dun waste your youth, should find more gf now bah.

[sgjoey]

Aiya.. think u too busy to keep your wife company so that she dun feel loved..

Nowadays who can believe in anyone?

Most of my ex bf cheated also..

Realised that man just can't reject any girls along the way, can't b satisfied with one gal at all.

Dun waste your youth, should find more gf now bah.

You are right to realise that men have the tendency to seek out more than one sex partner.

The interesting question is whether women have this tendency too. Most people may not think so, but they may be wrong.There is evidence to show that in the right circumstances, women are as likely as men to want more than one sex partner.

[36F-23-36]

If the women is sexually deprived. Maybe..

[Kenzaro]

36F-23-36
Samster

Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 134
My Reputation:
Points: 180 / Power: 3


Re: Friendship not Sex
Aiya.. think u too busy to keep your wife company so that she dun feel loved..

Nowadays who can believe in anyone?

Most of my ex bf cheated also..

Realised that man just can't reject any girls along the way, can't b satisfied with one gal at all.

Dun waste your youth, should find more gf now bah.
__________________
Universe rule: All men cheat!


Yeah I think my post is getting through to many guys.

A - Treasure you friends don't let your wife/GF take over, it's not their right!

B - I felt angry more then sad wasting so much of my time and effort when I could have bang so many more women. Speaking of witch my score is damn pathetic sia

C - If you're whole life is about your wife you lose communication skills. Hard for me to make friends or even talk to people now....

[Kenzaro]

After our 2nd baby we stop having sex already lol! I think like 6 - 7 years I stop touching her.

I did suggest fun stuff but didn't end well.

I wonder if it's still working....

[simonthetiny]

It's sad to hear this after 12 years of marriage. Not easy to be together for 12 years. Be positive and u two may get together later.

Anyway, enjoy ur new life live to the max. Do have bro who had similar condition like u, work days and nights for family and found out this was not the girl looking for. Life just about balance, maybe i should say.:cool:

[jamesrockwell]

i'm still single and by reading this thread, i'm really worried whether my future wife will be like this (if i ever get married)

Bros that having such problem, you guys managed to solve the problem by making her have interest again or you guys just decided to cheong outside?

Btw, my sincere sorry to hear those....hope you guys able to solve the issue soon...:(

[callmebad]

thanks for sharing your experience with us

definitely you will feel angry,or hurt,or maybe sad
this is normal, but don't let these unhappy feelings stick to you

I'm a divorcee also, but I was the one who initiated the break

Problem with most Singaporean guys is we're so easily been controlled by women that even Goh Chok Tong said Singaporean men kia si (scare died), kia bo (scare wife),kia cheng hu (scared government)

tell you what, one particular thing I hate most, is a woman, who likes to check on you with frequent phone calls (when you're not with her), pretending to chit chat with you, but actually try to know what you're doing,if she is not calling you,she will get the kids to call you

many guys make the mistake of cutting off contacts with guy friends, out of the so-called 'respect' for the wife/gf

we should not do that, this world is not just you and your woman

as guys, we really must keep in touch with others, so maybe one fine day, the guy friends may have good lobangs for you (good money-making ideas)

if you break contact, you will miss out the lobangs

glue to each other day-and-night like chewing gum is not going to make you better, if you stay the same, women may eventually look down on you and say you're a loser

sometimes also must not be too nice or obedient to women, they won't appreciate this,they will say you have no ideas of your own, you're indecisive

sometimes must be 'bad' , disobey them, stand your ground and they will say you look manly

that's why you hear this saying - if men is not 'bad', women will not marry you

most Singaporean men can't hold the ground, give way to the women easily and end up being jeered by them

just the harsh fact I learn from life with women

[Deesiaokia]

Aiya.. think u too busy to keep your wife company so that she dun feel loved..

Nowadays who can believe in anyone?

Most of my ex bf cheated also..

Realised that man just can't reject any girls along the way, can't b satisfied with one gal at all.

Dun waste your youth, should find more gf now bah.
Aiya sister.. Man(Me) no cheat leh... Only time I cheat is during exam time... :)

[2centsworth]

After our 2nd baby we stop having sex already lol! I think like 6 - 7 years I stop touching her.

Both of you stopped having sex 6-7 years ago? That doesn't sound right. She will still have her needs. Perhaps the lack of sex is a key contributing factor in the divorce.

[clzanas]

sometimes also must not be too nice or obedient to women, they won't appreciate this,they will say you have no ideas of your own, you're indecisive

This is so true! reminds me of my ex-gf she says i am indecisive as most of the time i would say anything la... haiz...

[smallbaron]

Take care Bro,

It is not your fault. Human beings tend to change over time.

The person you know "will" be a totally different person 10 years later. It only becomes worse with all the frictions and misunderstandings accumulated over time.

Humans tend not to forget past hurts (unknowingly). Therefore, unless there is a strong commitment and financial dependency, divorce between couples is a real reality nowadays.

Don't even talk about marriage. Relationships with bosses, colleagues & friends will change over time too. Once upon a time, they maybe the kindest and sweetest people to you. Much later, they maybe your biggest nightmares!! Cannot imagine for married couples!! How many old couples still hold hands and walk together? ...

That is why many seek solace in other places, e.g. hobbies, religion & SBF :)

[muscleboi]

Bro, pardon me for asking if its still your trying period.

Under Women's Charter, aren't you supposed to give half (50%) of the matrimonial assets to your spouse in the event of divorce? So since you got 2 retail shops, that will mean one is to be given to her right?

How come you only end up playing $1000 monthly as maintenance to her?

[see see only]

Hey TS,

Live your life from now on. The fact is we are born to this world waiting for the day we hand over our IC permanently.

So during this period, what’s important ….. you have to ask yourself. Til the day we hand over our IC … we can choose to “wait” boringly or happily ….

So trying things they excite ourselves, making achievements that we set for ourselves, etc etc ……..


SO DO everything you wish to .... 少壮不”用力”，老大徒伤悲 .... and as long as … we " 对得起人 敬得起神" ok liao ... :p:D

Start to enjoy your life ... bro :)

[soblur]

Nowadays you see more and more marriages breaking down. People just give up too easily, just giving little reasons like not suitable, no more feelings for each other etc. To me, a successful marriage takes 2 hands to clap, and well, unfortunately quite often one party just doesn't want to make the effort. Guess for your case, TS, your marriage happened too early and your wife hasn't had enough fun yet. If you still love your wife dearly and wish to salvage it, I'd suggest staying by her side as a friend, a guardian angel (though not sticking to her and putting her off), and one day she will come to realize that what's out there is just temporary happiness and learn to really treasure you.

Just some thoughts of mine. :)

[cuscorex92]

many many guyz r in the same plight...bt to certain women,sex is a privilege,nt an entitlement.som might tat tink tat i've bear him children,my role is fulfilled.

[sleepy80]

Aiya.. think u too busy to keep your wife company so that she dun feel loved..

Nowadays who can believe in anyone?

Most of my ex bf cheated also..

Realised that man just can't reject any girls along the way, can't b satisfied with one gal at all.

Dun waste your youth, should find more gf now bah.

Wow sis, ur figure so good. Ur ex still wan to go around looking for better.. Quite impossible for them to find someone better rite..

[36F-23-36]

Men will never be contended with just one virginal!!!!

[Catalytist]

Men will never be contended with just one virginal!!!!

Coz we r always curious how the other one feels ?

Curiosity kills the cat. :p

[SkYlInE82]

Losing a marriage hurts but not being able to be there with your kids while they are growing up will hurt even more. Stay strong bro.

i cant agree with this sentence more!!!

[Deesiaokia]

Men will never be contended with just one virginal!!!!Sis.. I m contended with just 1 virginal ... But too bad my Wife just don't like sex.. Ever since my wife pregnant we did not have sex till she give birth n even till now... If I never divorce with her meaning I 3 year never Piak her Liao...I don't think I m at fault..haizzzzz

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[sleepy80]

Men will never be contended with just one virginal!!!!

I wonder how's a 36 f cup looks like.. Why not share some teasing pics with us here..

[YawSL]

Originally posted by TS:

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpost.php?p=5362489&postcount=1



If you are married since 19, why do you have another GF in 2010? Have you been faithful? Evidently not. Even if the GF is fake, you have been trawling the forums for female companionship - "LF Female soulmate" - To jog your memory, here is your response to "Lonely gal looking for fling":

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpost.php?p=5362598&postcount=251



Ok, so you were not the initiator in that exchange. How about this thread you made? :

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpost.php?p=5930899&postcount=1



Don't come crying here for sympathy if you have been caught fucking around. Don't come up with some bullshit "Boohoohoo I work so hard why my wife leave me? :(" story. Even if your account about the wife leaving you is true, don't make it seem like its all her fault for being immature. You haven't exactly been the paragon of virtue yourself. I pity your kids (if they are not fictitious).

I usually wish bros here with a legit problem a sincere "good luck" at the end of my posts, but you can pretty much go screw yourself if you insist on being dishonest.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Power lah!

[lbk2020]

tomorrow will be better...

believe it

[tamtam]

Men will never be contended with just one virginal!!!!

Haha, coz my Didi wants to make more Meimei friends mah....:D

[tamtam]

Bro,

I was like you years ago, down and out with bad relationship with my wife.
We went thru several attempts to get divorce, but because both of us still loves our children very much, so just stayed on.

I bitched alot in this forum, after first jointing, it really allows me to let go my steam most of the time, then i stumble upon this thread on "Sexless marriage", great thread, and my life slowly change.

I allow myself more time to interact socially, while still maintains my kids well being, since i m not getting any sex at home, i will pamper myself whenever i had the time, joint a few friends here to Dong Guan, heavenly !
You can have enough money to spend, but you will not have enough sperm to shoot over there.

I keep my social circle as wide as possible after falling out with my wife, coz now she can't really controls me anymore. I do have some friend that is not sexually active type, but i enjoyed being with them too, both male and females alike, enjoying photography as a hobby, at time we talked dirty too, i used to joke with the new technology in camera today, i can shoot a naked lady and able to count the numbers of CB hair down there, all laugh non stop....:D

You are lucky to pay just $1K for maintainence, based on that fact u owns 2 shop in town, i have a handful of divorced friends paid much higher, yet they are just salaried workers. So this is not the end, its the beginning of a new life for you, open up and enjoy yourself, make new friend everywhere.

You are bound to meet someone special, or even becomes your FB, catch up lost time, have fun and most importantly, find your own happiness and do those things that you have always wanted to do, may it be hobby, tours or just laze on the beach alone.

[davin_123]

Hey Bros, read some of your comments and realise that all of us have a point. What do i mean??

Some bros feels that once u have gf, u build your life around her and its wrong. Sometimes i feel that , it is because your gf isnt independent to take care of herself. I think there are actually lots of gentlemen out there who wants to be the nicest guy whom your gfs can boast about.

In my point of view, striking a balance between friends and gf is very very important, u can build your life around your gf BUT u also need some breathing place for yourself man.

Like what Ipman said before, in this world there isnt any man scare of wifes but is respect them.