Dilemma in getting an FB

[sulphur]

Hi SBF Brudders,

First of all let me write a little background of myself before I speak out my actual dilemma.

I am in my late twenties and have always had no problems in getting girlfriends and getting girls on bed. I think that girls do not find me attractive at first glance until we have a chance to chat. That is what I myslf perceived which maybe you guys can assume so at this moment.

For the record, I myself also frequents TN shops with hard massaging as priority and do not really like KTVs and noisy environments (This might be linked to my dilemma later).

It happens after I got into a serious relationship few years back, and now I am married for nearly a year with the same girl, I found out that my guts/balls shrunk so much that I think too much when I interact with another girl and I want her to be my FB, but the consequences keep bothering me. Responsibilities of a husband and the social impact keep going through my mind and that I am not what I used to be already.

It doesnt help that AV is so much clamping down on vice activities that the remaining WL in Singapore are diminishing in service levels as maybe they do not think so long term anymore.

I am actually attracted to my potential FBs not for any visuals, but for the nice conversation if possible, possibly nice and wild nature in bed, no motives in anyway in my social circle(I do not want any changes to my love life, I am happy as it is as such). Sometimes, the adrenaline rush comes when some of my potential FBs are aquaintences and we meet each other once in a while in group events and the excitement of meeting a FB in a awkward group outing is there for me to feel shiok.

I am sure I am not the only guy here that is in this scenario. Can share some of the details with me on your considerations? It is definitely tough for me now, sometimes I even lost the feeling of being a male predator.........

[flintmarco]

TS you write very well.

[sammyboyfor]

I am sure I am not the only guy here that is in this scenario. Can share some of the details with me on your considerations? It is definitely tough for me now, sometimes I even lost the feeling of being a male predator.........

Forget about mucking around with girls and concentrate on building your career and your finances.

There'll be enough time to screw around later once you've achieved financial Independence.

[soccerboot]

Forget about mucking around with girls and concentrate on building your career and your finances.

There'll be enough time to screw around later once you've achieved financial Independence.

Bro, what the boss said is right! Get your priority right in life and build a solid foundation first. May the success be with you!:)

[4am'rs]

Forget about mucking around with girls and concentrate on building your career and your finances.

There'll be enough time to screw around later once you've achieved financial Independence.

I have to agree with him :D Girls like stable men who can provide and depend-able. ;)

[owl888]

Different phase of life, man will have to focus on other things. Perhaps time for you to have some family planning like having babies. I m sure after that u will be very focus and dunn have time for other things liao ;)

[blowfish]

You should cherish what you have, marriage and the trust from your wife with you. There's no free lunch or dinner in this world, this girls that you wish to pick up are like speed boats and if you're not in their league, you'll have a hard time juggling with their time & your family time. Soon you'll find yourself wasting time & money as you'll never catch up with them.

[sulphur]

Thanks to all bros for your feedbacks.

For career and financial independence wise, I think it is a forever progressive thing in my life and nothing should kill it.

For my wife though, she is definitely open about me having short flings outside. All my massages(with HJs) and the occasional KTV outings I will inform her too. She used to work in a company that she has to go down to KTVs and pay the bill for her company for entertainment, hence she understands that guys will always need varieties.

Just that I am most probably confused by the sudden predator instinct-vs-social impact thinking.

Will most probably stay on the safe side and just continue my massages. :p

[IFWT]

Wow TS, you are blessed to have such an open minded wife. Cheers to you on that.

[guess67]

I am now tired of meet up and have FB, why?

[sexresearcher]

Stop being delusional. All you hear about FB are on the good side and your little brother is getting a good time.

Wait till you get them emotionally involved and see how big of a mess you make and what you call social cost will really COST you; marriage, career and maybe even mental health.

Yes, its nice and glamorous to get an FB, it says something about you but it will may also say alot more things about you and it is in the wrong limelight.

Just pay, fuck and forget. Life goes on, cunts are aplenty.

[maxpee88]

Stop being delusional. All you hear about FB are on the good side and your little brother is getting a good time.

Wait till you get them emotionally involved and see how big of a mess you make and what you call social cost will really COST you; marriage, career and maybe even mental health.

Yes, its nice and glamorous to get an FB, it says something about you but it will may also say alot more things about you and it is in the wrong limelight.

Just pay, fuck and forget. Life goes on, cunts are aplenty.

Hey TS,

I re-quoted this as this IS INDEED IMPORTANT TO RE-read and you should spend some time to think this through. So Bro Sexresearcher said this very clearly n I 200% agree with him.

I read your starting posts and you seemed confused and unsettled over a few things.

You just got married recently and hardly reaching your 5th yr of marriage you are already thinking of getting something extra with an FB.

I noticed you keep mentioning potential FBs, but then you need to ask your self honestly and frankly ARE THEY also thinking of you as an FB too. Please recognise and make a distinction between your fantasy and the girls reality.
They maybe over friendly but they may not have any intent to your FB. You may perhaps fantasize of having a fling with them in a wild sexpisode, but you better make sure before you step into a wrong assumption.

Honestly in my years of marriage, and interaction, office co workers and women are friendlier to MARRIED men because to them, the women feels safe that when they interact and talk to married men. Women with their intuition knows all too clearly that all men are sex animals and can be easily aroused. Between interacting with a single guy and a married guy, they know that single guys are mentailly undressing them and fucking them in their minds MORE than a married man will be doing so. I just cut to the point here and this is not a lesson on life's journey There are plentiful real life stories you can learn from I am sure...

What is an FB? An FB is one who SHARES the same intent with you and they TELL YOU they want to do it with you with no commitments, That's probably a simplified base line to start. If your potential FBs have not expressed this to you yet, they are not likely an FB.

What is mess? A mess happens when an FB over time becomes emotionally attached to you (which let me frankly tell you, it WILL happen) since Sex to a Woman (no matter what they say initially to you) is a personally deep emotional attachment. When your FB becomes emotion, be prepared to face a stressful time that will turn messy and screw up your current life, your marriage, your family, your career and even your reputation.

And I am sure there are many more other realistic things I can relate, but you get my point.

I hope you take the advise from older samsters and experienced bros here.

Firstly take care of your current priorities, whether it is building up your career, your finances or your family or your married life. Once you have done that, then maybe you can think about fucking around with 1 or 2 FBs.

For now - if you have sexual urges, I suggest you do a the commercial route.

Also, don't think just because your wife has to do KTV expenses approval etc.. and knows what men do in KTV and Massages, means she is 'open to your extra -activities'.

Your wife as you briefly described, is a gem if she has been so open and understanding. You should at least value her and treat her as such with utmost respect.

[callmebad]

it's nice to have a lot of women, but this is the beginning part only but later will be a different story

a real good life example is the Macau casino king, you look at him now, he has so many wives, do you think he is happy? He is not yet dead, but his wives and kids treat him as though he is dead, fighting over his wealth

as guys, we're naughty by nature, like to fuck around
but just don't get too entangle with it
your marriage is ok now, don't do anything to hurt it, even if you're not an MP:o
while young, don't spend too much time and energy on women or on things that will not benefit you in any way, 10 years down the road,or else you'll regret later

outside women is like those soya sauce, chilly sauce,ketch up
you can only have a bit, but not too much
a little bit will make things taste better, too much of it will have problem like causing stomach upset
you're already have a 'bowl of white rice or porridge' at home - won't cause you stomach upset, won't hurt your health

[chowchowkeith]

play hard !!
play wild!!
just dont get caught.

[Virginhere]

Once your pocket are filled with cash, flowers will automatically fly towards you..

[MCPL]

bro TS i envy you,

but from one bro to another,
take my advice and dont end up like me.

i may not be on the same level as you,
i used to be engaged once,
love my fiancee alot too
but xiao didi dont want to settle down yet
so i had about 2 FB

one day i was careless and my fiancee caught me red handed
i lost everything after that
only married or engaged guys knows this feeling
how we took her for granted
how we ignore her
well i guess its punishment for me and its too late for amends

2 years has passed but the guilt still remains
FYI shes already married with a kid.

so my advice be faithful to your wife.
treasure her.

[indomitable]

I have read your post over and over again but I can't fathom what you are trying to say. What is this quandary that you are in.

[hickeybites]

Your so-called dilemma is very much a self-created one & I wouldn't even call it a dilemma in the first place -- more like a pipe dream.
You said it yourself: you miss the hunt, you miss the adrenaline rush, you miss being a predator.
What seems to get you high is your presumed ability to attract & hook women with your perceived gift-of-the-gab & thereby overcoming the "looks matter" mantra.
Your ability to experience the "shiok-ness" of encountering a non-existent FB in grp outings -- that shows the rosiness of your FB-mirage, dude :rolleyes:

Your wife is seriously one of the most magnanimous & open-minded woman that I've yet to hear of. There's nothing at home to complain of & you're already hankering for trouble.
Is the thrill of the chase really worth it? :confused:

[EatPrayLove]

Your so-called dilemma is very much a self-created one & I wouldn't even call it a dilemma in the first place -- more like a pipe dream.
You said it yourself: you miss the hunt, you miss the adrenaline rush, you miss being a predator.
What seems to get you high is your presumed ability to attract & hook women with your perceived gift-of-the-gab & thereby overcoming the "looks matter" mantra.
Your ability to experience the "shiok-ness" of encountering a non-existent FB in grp outings -- that shows the rosiness of your FB-mirage, dude :rolleyes:

Your wife is seriously one of the most magnanimous & open-minded woman that I've yet to hear of. There's nothing at home to complain of & you're already hankering for trouble.
Is the thrill of the chase really worth it? :confused:

well said! couldn't agree much with you.

TS, guys at your age, you should really focus on building your career and not fooling around. it's really a blessing that you have such a open-minded wife, please cherish it and not abused the trust she gave you.

it might be fun to have a fb beyond your marriage, but the consequences might be too costly for you to bear.

[sulphur]

The potential FBs are really those that have already sort of hinted. I am sure you guys know what I mean.

After reading all of these, I think I will just stick to commercial ones if there is really a need to be "naughty". If I am not sure whether I can handle it, then I think I most probably can't!!! :p

Thanks all brudders for the advice :) I will stop thinking of this until the right time arrives, if it does. :)

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[wally888]

For my wife though, she is definitely open about me having short flings outside. All my massages(with HJs) and the occasional KTV outings I will inform her too. She used to work in a company that she has to go down to KTVs and pay the bill for her company for entertainment, hence she understands that guys will always need varieties.



Last time, I know a friend's friend who cheong the now defunct Dongguan KTV, wife sent him to cheong. Could u b that guy? :D

[LovePotion]

I have to agree with him :D Girls like stable men who can provide and depend-able. ;)

guys, how much income is consider financially stable and dependable?? for lets say between 25-28 yrs old

[sexresearcher]

I also want to add that the door swings both ways. Your wife can accept your wild KTV and massage parlor behavior. Can you also accept it when she said 'you did it and why not me?'. The question is, what will you say and do FB lover?

[sulphur]

Refer to bolded sections in your OP. Basically, your "dilemma" is 1 - you worry about the consequences of approaching someone to be a FB. 2 - you're not able to find WLs who can satisfy your cravings nowadays.

Firstly, what is this bullshit about wanting a FB, but getting worried about the "consequences"? 要偷吃又怕死? Cmon bro, whassup with that cowardly nonsense? Secondly, your 2nd fear is unfounded. As long as there's a demand, there will be a supply. Just look at the number of new threads on this forum every day. If you can't find anything suitable, maybe you aren't looking hard enough?



That whole paragraph doesn't make sense. Lemme get this straight:

1. You are attracted to your potential FB for their conversational skills.
2. But you want to bed them eventually, hoping they are "nice and wild" in bed.
3. But you claim that your marital status is secure (i.e. "do not want any changes"), just wanna fuck around. Oh, and talk to your FBs.
4. But you feel horny when you meet up with your potential FBs, who are acquaintances.
5. Meeting the potential FBs, even as in group, gives you a "shiok" feeling.

WTF are you saying bro? WTF.



From my understanding, you're saying that you wanna bed some of your friends, but is afraid of the social consequences. Forget about "being a male predator", I'm questioning your maleness. Dude just go bang the chick already. Or drop the idea totally instead of whining about it on the internet.

My apologies if I sound harsh here, but I prefer to be frank about the situation. After all, you did ask for our opinions on this matter. I hope you take the advice of the bros here into consideration. Please man, you are young and have a really understanding wife. Don't wreck your life by fucking a friend in your social circle when you're married. Never shit where you eat.

And since your fantastic wife has already given you a free hall pass to visit KTVs and WLs, I'm not even sure what your problem is here?


Hey bro, chill. I came in and declared I am confused. Addtionally I am not whining, just wanted to talk about it and listen to more opinions. It easier sometimes to listen to another person's logical view when I myself is not being logical anymore.

Being able to read things from everyone's reply just made me more sure of certain things. Maybe I have a screwed up mind, but at least give me a chance to recognise it.

Thanks anyway for your comments. :)

[sulphur]

Last time, I know a friend's friend who cheong the now defunct Dongguan KTV, wife sent him to cheong. Could u b that guy? :D

LOL no bro. Actually my favourite is TN massages with the following variables:

- 5-8 WLs
- Late twenties WLs
- Shower (Shared or attached not an issue)
- Hard Massages

Hard to find after my fav joint in Joo Chiat(All the above variables were fulfilled) was killed. The few joints I tried after that were either too little WLs, too old WLs or lousy massages. Nevermind, this one I will slowly recce.

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[sulphur]

Looking back at my post, I think yar man, maybe I'm abit harsh. Sorry about that man. But y'know, I think bros gotta tell other more confused bros to "wake up your idea!" sometimes. That's what bros are for ya?

Personally, I go by a simple rule: You can do anything you want, but you must be able to handle the consequences. This goes for everything in life. Want to smoke? Can. But don't complain if kena lung cancer. Want to eat super deep fried stuff everyday? Can. But don't complain if kena high cholesterol/blood pressure. Want to slack in school? Can. But don't complain if fuck up studies. Want to do raw with WL? Can. But don't complain if kena AIDS.

Its the same with your situation. I hope you are more clear-headed now and will be able to work on being a happier person. Please don't get offended by the tone of my earlier post.

Good luck with life! =)

Yupz bro, agree. I think I am off for the idea. Focus on commercialised services I will be.

Thanks!! I really appreciate every SBF brudders comments and I take them seriously.

[RedOmega]

I am now tired of meet up and have FB, why?

Missing that little spice to spring board that feeling again? Find that ignition spark again. :)

[LovePotion]

in the past, i used to think that with good looks + 6 pacs.... girls will flock to me.. yes, they did but not as hiong as i thought it would be... now... (not that i am fat or ugly), i dont bother so much on appearance but more on making money... girls still flock to me :cool:


challenge accepted... go chiong for money first !!

[nuclearkid]

It happens after I got into a serious relationship few years back, and now I am married for nearly a year with the same girl, I found out that my guts/balls shrunk so much that I think too much when I interact with another girl and I want her to be my FB, but the consequences keep bothering me. Responsibilities of a husband and the social impact keep going through my mind and that I am not what I used to be already.

Know a new girl for the sake of friendship and no other intent, at least in the beginning. A girl who has interest will indicate so in due time and if she doesn't, don't push the issue. When you adopt the mindset to bed her right from the start, your actions and agenda is glaringly obvious. Girls read them and will siam you like a disease!

Sure it takes more time to get to your eventual objective (presumably to be your FB if it happens at all), but it makes for a less awkward exit if things don't go according to plan. Treat her as a friend and let her lead. And if nothing ever develops, it probably wasn't meant to be. But at least it was face saving and you got yourself a new friend along the way. Only time will tell what will happen in the future, sparks may eventually fly, who knows?

And for the benefit of girls reading...we guys are generally quite gentle and diplomatic when rejecting an unsolicited advance. So while you may feel shy about dropping a hint or are wondering what's taking that blockhead so long to follow up, go ahead and exercise your feminine wiles. If its unrequited, most of you would survive the rejection easily. :D

[alexander81]

Up this thread.

[hello420]

Can share some of the details with me on your considerations?

No good is going to come out of this. Stay true to your wife.
Life is not about how many you "mount".