Is she the one for me??

[TXRX]

Dear Sbf bros,

Would like to seek your opinion on this and really pardon me for my English. I am writing this with a heavy heart and actually am quite depressed right now.

I will be marrying my fiancee in Nov. She is the only child and is very spoilt. Her mum dotes on my fiancee very much and she is more like her mum's mother.

Brief Background to cut the lengthy story short
1. Knew her late Oct last year and was together with her after a matter of few days
2. She suggest to me that I should propose to her merely knowing each other after 6 weeks.
3. I propose to her a month later
4. Announce to family and prepare for the big day in Nov this year i.e. search for hotels and book for bridal packages etc...
5. Less than 1 month later we bought a 15 year old completed private property together. We shared half the obligations for the upfront fees etc.
6. Went together for a trip in Apr.
7. Got the house in Jun and planning for reno. For old condos, it is recommended to re-furnished the kitchen and the 2 bathrooms as further leaking would be more expensive to rectify.
8. You may think it comes cheap but for these places, it already cost between $18k-$25k after comparing many contractors. This is really a pain in the ass as reno loan is capped at maximum $30k and we only have $5k-$12k to play with for the rest of the reno of the house.
7. It is almost a month after collecting the keys but we are still undecided on what to compromise on. And then....

she pop up a news that her friend suggested yesterday that they should go Korea together for her Hen's night. A total of 6 nights probably in Sep and 4 girls will be going on this trip. She did ask me but I already knew she has made up her mind. In my heart, I was like what the f**ked!! Already so busy with all the preparations of the weddings, renovation and I'm sure it will be much more busier as it draws closer to the wedding date and yet you can still go for a 6 days hen's night trip!!

And today, I have confirmed that her friend has booked the tickets.


Love is blind and I knew I have rushed too much into everything without even really understanding her.

Now for the million dollar question.

Is she the girl for me and should I just bite the bullet and go ahead with the wedding?


Bros, pls share with me your most valuable and objective opinions.

[feelmetonight]

Hmm...Did you talk to her when she discussed the trip with you? Did you tell her that you are not happy about her decision?

[feelmetonight]

Hmm...Did you talk to her when she discussed the trip with you? Did you tell her that you are not happy about her decision?

[Ah he]

Tell us more about her charactor can ?

[sammyboyfor]

I will be marrying my fiancee in Nov. She is the only child and is very spoilt.

I foresee many years of misery for you if you go ahead. :rolleyes:

If she can't behave in a responsible manner now, she's not going to be any different later.

[abchow]

HI bro, the question now should be on your mind is whether to dumb her or not ? As the way things are going , its going to be tough for you to handle her when both of you are married. The immature and irresponsible behaviour will not stop after the wedding. I think both of you are too young to go this road now. Think think again. anyway , this is my opinion. Good luck!

[centrinocock]

hmm.. you are writing all the negative thing about her.. this will make all the bro here asking you to dump her... why not share some positive thing about her with us?

she away with doing the reno? that a good thing you can design your house as u like remender you only have 6 day to design your house..
as for me during the reno of my house I only can follow what she like....

[Ronsee]

As a married man for many years and with enough experiences to certainly share with you, this is what i will like to say bro.

1. Marriage certainly doesnt change a person's attitudes and character. The wedding is only a ceremony, after that night its down to business between the 2 of u. The certificate is only a piece of paper, it doesnt make a marriage work just because you own a marriage certificate

2. The time spent in your courtship is too short. IMHO you should spend more time to understand her personality and character. If you just rush into marriage just for the sake of being married, you are jumping into deep waters when you are not trained to swim in it.

3. Marriage is a life long committement. Do not destroy your life or hers just because 'others' say do this and do that and u just follow blindly. Right now if your heart condition is having a lot of ? on her behaviour and attitudes, these will be the beginning of the end for the 2 of you.

4. I suggest you sit down and have a heart to heart talk with her. I mean a really SERIOUS talk to trash out all your feelings about things and let her understand how you feel. You need to clear your own doubts in your heart before you can even think about how to handle the situation with her.

Bro my words may sound harsh but i m speaking from experience.

Handle this delicate matter carefully but you need to take quick immediate action. Its no shame to stop everything if really you find that she is not meant for you because by doing so now you will save yourself a whole world of heartaches and pain later on.

However, bear in mind whatever course of action you take now, whatever decision you make now, you will be the ONLY one to suffer the consequences of this, you cannot blame anyone if things dont work out in the end. You buy the goods, you pay the price, understand?

Just 2 cents from a fellow samster.

Cheers
Ronsee

[Xgenre]

Nowadays, SBF becoming like Singapore Brides, more of such questions. Bro, here is sex forum. Posts should have some sex-related stuff ya? Somemore you posted in 'Adult discussion about sex' instead of 'Matters of the Heart' section. Is the sex so good you married her in 10 weeks? Or did you took her virginity and thus feel like you need to marry her?

How old are the 2 of you? Sounds like both are pretty young. I've friends who go married after a 4 month courtship. Still happily married after 6 years. But there are 29 when they got married. When I hear Nov wedding, I get worried. Are you getting married on 11.11.11? Some girls have this weird idea that they want to get married on such special dates and just rush themselves into marriage. When you look back at your relationship so far, does it feel like a major part of your relationship is preparing for the wedding? Hunting for wedding dinner packages, photography, house hunting, renovation etc. What happens after the wedding? Will there be a void in your lives where you think, 'now what'? Actually finances-wise, you are better off than the average couple. To buy a 15 yr old condo now, easily $700k-1.4 million for a 2 bedroom. Her mum chipped in for the house?

She can't be that bad if you are marrying her. What do you like about her? Can imagine growing old with her? Do relax a bit about Hen's night. Common trend now to do it overseas. Look at it from the positive side, you get 6 nights of freedom (must think like a married man liao) before needing to spend every night with her in future.

[sammyboyfor]

Nowadays, SBF becoming like Singapore Brides, more of such questions.

I have two choices... remove such messages and keep the forum true to its roots or welcome the broadening of the forum's reach and create a new section for all these lovey dovey questions. :D

Still pondering which way to lean.

[Frankiestine]

Well boss you can chose to shift this to the proper forum. Or you can set up a new forum for "EMO" guys like TS.

TS only two advice (tio bo Sam):

1. Bite the bullet (but i foresee a bleak future for your marriage)
2. Back out now and cut your losses.....

[singmarine]

The key question is whether u make love with her before? If yes, u creampie her?? Coz that is going to make a difference later.

[buttlovingguy]

Tell us more about her charactor can ?

yup, u never mentioned anything about her character. so far it seems like the only thing that pissed u off is the korea trip.

besides the downpayment for the house, are u paying everything else yourself?

[Wayne1984]

I think most likely you have chose the wrong girl to marry to. You are too rushing into marriage. One month? At least a year la! You made a mistake.

[lekdaen]

I feel sad about your story i think you better leave her and have a good talk with her or next time the one that suffer will be you , take a HDB instead of condo you dont have enough money at all 5k -12 k is nothing at all now advise if you dont have a big head dont buy a big hat and wear it at your head that make your head uncomfortable


Good luck

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Young TS, Love @ 1st sight and falling in love is a great feeling but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble cos you didn't do your homework and for not being as objective as possible with your life rushing into a marriage! IMHO, if you cannot fully accept her, the way she is now, then you are not ready to marry HER! :rolleyes:

Btw, How did you manage to find this SBF sex forum, being your 1st post and all?

[joew2005]

no1 can guarantee you that whatever choice you made,it would be the best & the correct 1.
It's your life,you hv 2 live with your choices ... like it or not.
the same applies 2 everybody.
we are answerable 4 our own choice & actions.

btw,i hv a song specially dedicated 2 ts.

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes 2 me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
& in my hour of darkness
She is standing rite in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

& when the broken hearted ppl
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
4 though they may be parted there is
Still a chance tat they will see
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be

& when the nite is cloudy
There is still a light tat shines on me
Shine on until 2morrow, let it be
I wake up 2 the sound of music
Mother Mary comes 2 me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

[acidicavex]

Your future lie in your hand all i can say if you seek answer to your question. Than i can only say call the whole damn thing off.

Been there done it that all i can say.

What i have heard and see so far with marriage that works till and the couple that are still lovey dovey are those that never question their own decision settle down together. When such question pop up in your mind that mean this marriage will not last and you and her will have many miserable moment in this marriage. Just my 1 cents worth. Of it is base on what i observe and heard and personal life that i derive this.

No question! No hesitation! No doubt! for either party when the decision is make to settle down togther -> 90% lasted till the day when it time to say "ashes to ashes dust to dust"

Question! Doubt! Hesitation! on either party when the decision is make to settle down together (be it peer pressure, Parent pressure, etc) -> 90% will have misery and alot of fight in the future to come either they force themselve to go thru live for whatever reason (some to save family face, some for the children etc) Most it end up going separate way either the husband find a better parther (having a affair) or the wife seek comfort with other men (still having a affair).

[hickeybites]

Dear TS
Was told these wise words before I said "Yes" to proposal ~ words which I've passed on several times...
Before marriage, MUST open both our eyes BIG BIG. Feel free to use magnifying glass/telescope even.
After marriage, best to keep one eye closed & chuck away that pair of rose-tinted glasses.

If u're asking urself & strangers in a forum a million-dollar question before the wedding, it's time to really examine your relationship with high-powered spectacles.
As with another bro's advice, also sit down & really talk to fiancee. Best to get things all thrashed out. Good luck

[alphonsus]

You have come to this forum because you have felt that something is not correct regarding this soon-to-be marriage.

Even though you say love is blind, this may not be the main reason why you are not pulling out.

It could be too much effort and money has already been invested into it. To you, you will suffer a heavy loss if you do so.

You could also be afraid to take the step forward to end this because it will be very messy, physically and emotionally. Things will turn very ugly.

I do not think talking to her will help. But if you talk to her, then at least no one (including yourself) can accused you of not trying to salvage it.

No one should decide for you what to do. You have to take this plunge yourself. Its not easy to do this too.

Do not close up all the avenues to resolve this. What seems unacceptable may not be really unworkable.

[sammyboyfor]

TS only two advice (tio bo Sam):




Should be "..only two pieces of advice...." as "advice" is a non countable noun.

[sammyboyfor]

You could also be afraid to take the step forward to end this because it will be very messy, physically and emotionally. Things will turn very ugly.


If doesn't succeed in calling it off, the next best thing to do would be to call up the producers of bridezillas (http://www.wetv.com/shows/bridezillas/) to try and make some money out of the whole sorry saga.:D

[alan0338]

TS, u should just tell her wat u feel la, wats the point of keeping things to urself and ended up to be the unhappy party. :confused:

u dun tell her how u feel then u will nv get the answer u are looking for ... :)

[Firestarter]

From the practical side of things, if u guys r now stuck on reno costs/priorities due to limited funds n she is splurging on a Hen party in Korea, doesn't that raise alarm bells? That will probably be her priority in life (ie. Hen party with friends n other men vs u n the marriage)

N if she is going for this trip, rest assured she will go for every other Hen party that comes along, preferably overseas too. Can u live with that the rest of ur life?

If u can take it, good n get married. If u cannot, better sort this out or stop her and settle this once n for all before marriage.

Never allow bad habits to develop!

[MonteCristo]

Dear Sbf bros,

Would like to seek your opinion on this and really pardon me for my English. I am writing this with a heavy heart and actually am quite depressed right now.

I will be marrying my fiancee in Nov. She is the only child and is very spoilt.

She did ask me but I already knew she has made up her mind. In my heart, I was like what the f**ked!! Already so busy with all the preparations of the weddings, renovation and I'm sure it will be much more busier as it draws closer to the wedding date and yet you can still go for a 6 days hen's night trip!!

Love is blind and I knew I have rushed too much into everything without even really understanding her.

Now for the million dollar question.

Is she the girl for me and should I just bite the bullet and go ahead with the wedding?

Bros, pls share with me your most valuable and objective opinions.

Hi TXRX,

May I know what is it that you are depressed about? From what I see, this incident cannot be the only reason why you are depressed. There has to be something more that happened to have caused your emotional state now, right? Or do you get depressed easily just because your fiancee went for her hen trip at an inopportune time, leaving you to settle the wedding matters and renovations?

I don't get that sentence in red. Do you just assume things, even if it is based on your past experiences with her, to be bothered to ask her for a serious discussion and get her to understand your stand?

You really have rushed things too much. November is scarcely 4 months away and you are already so frustrated with your fiancee. I seriously cannot imagine what could happen 40 months down the road. If you can not reconcile all the things that are happening now, perhaps you should cut yourself some slack? It doesn't have to be a marry or ditch decision; you could try postponing the marriage. True, marriage is just a ceremony, but it is legally binding. Don't rush in to things, especially if you are not sure what you are getting into.

I do agree with the following point.

1. Marriage certainly doesnt change a person's attitudes and character. The wedding is only a ceremony, after that night its down to business between the 2 of u. The certificate is only a piece of paper, it doesnt make a marriage work just because you own a marriage certificate


You really need to think long and hard about life after marriage, especially since everything is not too late now. It is going to be a long time of living with your fiancee after marriage; and it is going to feel even longer for you, because you feel like it is only giving on your part. In any relationship, it is necessary to have a give-take balance. Please iron things out with your fiancee; it is critical for a happy marriage life, if not, to prevent regrets.

It is very perturbing to note how you describe your feelings to the coming wedding. No one should feel as if they are going to steel themselves to bite the bullet. A wedding is supposed to be the best day of life for the both of you, not some thing that needs to be get done with quickly and hope that it turns out for the best.

I believe the love is mutual between the two of you. But love is an emotion that cannot be counted on to sustain a marriage. Being blissful in everyday life, and enjoying the company of each other; that would help to cement love between the two of you, and help make marriage a long-lasting, happy affair. There are many other factors at play, but I suppose it is a story for another time.

It is not perfect, but I have unreservedly given my opinion to you, TXRX. Let me just add this to my opinion: All the best!

[RealEstateGuy]

Dear Sbf bros,

Would like to seek your opinion on this and really pardon me for my English. I am writing this with a heavy heart and actually am quite depressed right now.

I will be marrying my fiancee in Nov. She is the only child and is very spoilt. Her mum dotes on my fiancee very much and she is more like her mum's mother.

Brief Background to cut the lengthy story short
1. Knew her late Oct last year and was together with her after a matter of few days
2. She suggest to me that I should propose to her merely knowing each other after 6 weeks.
3. I propose to her a month later
4. Announce to family and prepare for the big day in Nov this year i.e. search for hotels and book for bridal packages etc...
5. Less than 1 month later we bought a 15 year old completed private property together. We shared half the obligations for the upfront fees etc.
6. Went together for a trip in Apr.
7. Got the house in Jun and planning for reno. For old condos, it is recommended to re-furnished the kitchen and the 2 bathrooms as further leaking would be more expensive to rectify.
8. You may think it comes cheap but for these places, it already cost between $18k-$25k after comparing many contractors. This is really a pain in the ass as reno loan is capped at maximum $30k and we only have $5k-$12k to play with for the rest of the reno of the house.
7. It is almost a month after collecting the keys but we are still undecided on what to compromise on. And then....

she pop up a news that her friend suggested yesterday that they should go Korea together for her Hen's night. A total of 6 nights probably in Sep and 4 girls will be going on this trip. She did ask me but I already knew she has made up her mind. In my heart, I was like what the f**ked!! Already so busy with all the preparations of the weddings, renovation and I'm sure it will be much more busier as it draws closer to the wedding date and yet you can still go for a 6 days hen's night trip!!

And today, I have confirmed that her friend has booked the tickets.


Love is blind and I knew I have rushed too much into everything without even really understanding her.

Now for the million dollar question.

Is she the girl for me and should I just bite the bullet and go ahead with the wedding?


Bros, pls share with me your most valuable and objective opinions.

Brother you should let her go. I know its probably the last time she can get dick from other guys theoretically but its tradition.

[Frankiestine]

Should be "..only two pieces of advice...." as "advice" is a non countable noun.

Damn never could do my math when i was in school...:D

Anyway just to lighten up for all would be hub...on wedding day you say "I DO" but few more years down the road you will be saying "ADUH"...malay expression for pain..:p

[joew2005]

past is history, future is a mystery

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

TS must be busy with his wedding preparation and house renovation :D
Seems like M.I.A liao. Hope this will not be another 1 of those 1-Post Wonder Thread :p

[Scarrlet]

Girl's a spoilt brat. The answer is in your face.

Call off the wedding before you regret it. Hope you make the right decision, bro.

[starystarynite]

Bro,

No one can anwser u this question. Only urself kniw whethrr she is the one for u.

She is definitely spoilt. N may nt b ready fr such responsibikity to set up a family based on what u described. But hey, if u realy live her, u hg ave to accept her weaknesses too. Dun think that u can chNge h er after marriage . It cant be done most of the time.

Do u know her lobg enuf to understand all this? Or u guys are just passionate n dint think too much?

Have a nice talk with her. Align on expectation. Clarify life after marriage. Rrsponsibikit of each. Budget n expense planning etc. if all ok, then proceed.. If nt, then u guys gt to seek sme help elsewhete lah. Thete are counselling session pre-marital.

[Stud00]

TS,

The fact that you are posting this thread and asking such questions, it's darn obvious that you aren't sure that shes the one. Pardon me, but from what you shared about her, she seems like trouble, materilistic like hell.

Marriage is not a contract, its a covenant. If i am you, i would book things on hold.. and give it some time to think about it. OR you can be the dumbass, and go ahead with marriage and later, end up divorcing her and you would see and feel the true power of woman charter.

Be a man, do the right thing.. but also..use your brain to think...

[iDream]

Bros, think again. Ask yourself this question, does the girl really love you and able to go through thin and thick with you. Marriage is a long commitment and choose the right girl.
Once you marriage and divoice half your asset and money will be given to her.

Agreed with some of the bros here.
1. Bite the bullet (but i foresee a bleak future for your marriage)
2. Back out now and cut your losses.....

[naturegreen]

I think most likely you have chose the wrong girl to marry to. You are too rushing into marriage. One month? At least a year la! You made a mistake.

Agree with Wayne.

[axxo]

Bro, she is really the one for you. Just marry her! You will live happily ever after!

[chaser]

Dump her and cut losses . Short suffering is always better than long suffering .

[LoveAngel]

It could be too much effort and money has already been invested into it. To you, you will suffer a heavy loss if you do so.

... OR you can be the dumbass, and go ahead with marriage and later, end up divorcing her and you would see and feel the true power of woman charter.

...Once you marriage and divoice half your asset and money will be given to her.

Dump her and cut losses .

Moral of the story:
Cut loss now = lose some money
Cut loss later = lose half your money
Don't cut loss at all = lose your mind

[cheongsterjon]

don't forget if you two end up in a divorce later...all your assets will be split into half and she'll get a half of it....think twice...

[MeiMei5151]

Moral of the story:
Cut loss now = lose some money
Cut loss later = lose half your money
Don't cut loss at all = lose your mind

bro LoveAngel, your conclusion is spot-on, precise and sadly true. I did not had the benefit of your god advice then when I was at such a crossroad. I did not have the courage and was too embarassed to do No.1 and cut my losses. Now 20 years later, I am hovering between No.2 and No.3.


Agreed with some of the bros here.
1. Bite the bullet (but i foresee a bleak future for your marriage)
2. Back out now and cut your losses.....

bro TS, if the feeling is not right, please do not go thru' the wedding no matter how advanced the planning and preparation has been. To resolve the situation after marriage (and after having kids) is ten times worse. Trust your own feelings and instinct.

[frivolous_ami]

I was in such a dilemma too. Liked the gal a lot. Bought her gifts n surprised her with roses from time to time. Eventually, i didnt agree with what she did and what she said. Once she told me that if i really am broke, just go sweat it out and find more lobang for money. Or she would suddenly disappear. Cannot reach her on hp. Ultimate was... she can say she go holiday with her "friends". People whom i dun even know. Sound similar hor?

It was an eventual decision to ditch her cos i cannot live with a liar and someone who cant respect me enough to tell me at least who she was going with. And she expected to buy her car after marriage and hold an expensive wedding dinner n buy dunno how many wedding gowns for the big day. I am not a saint but its still reasonable and fair to expect my other half to be honest and respectful (at least).

I stopped to think very hard too at that time. If you ask me now, i can tell you that its not worth your while. So long as you have some irreconciliable difference before marriage, it will become the roots of bigger issues and quarrels after marriage.

And marriage is too long a time to spend mauling over a wrong decision. Speaking from my years of experience of being ditched and played out.

It doesnt pay to be fair to your gal. Heard the saying that goes "being fair to her means being unfair to yourself."

[zyspt]

i think you should talk to her and ask her what she expect for the both future after marriage, and you should have tell her yours too. if both expectation of the future is too far apart i guess should tell her to reconsider the marriage for her own sake.

tell her when get married she got to change her thinking, mindset and behavior, cannot be like the spoilt lady as she is now, if she cannot then got to convince her to pull out. giving in to each other at times is a must, but if you end up always as the one giving in then the marriage does not look good, your giving in and tolerance to her will hit a limit and erupt like a volcano.

in the end a marriage life is not just about one person, is how the 2 manage and shape the future together. if both cannot give each other the confidence of their future, then there is no point if there is only one side putting in the effort to keep the marriage alive.

*your decision now will impact each other life will differ before marriage and after marriage, if wrong decision is made, both will suffer miserably but still the level of misery will be less than if it is before marriage*

[Bangster]

Since marriage is a lifelong matter,
you must be very very very damn bloody sure, that SHE IS THE ONE.
Of course everybody got flaws, BUT are you able to overlook those? Are you able to live with her weird habits or her spoilt character or her immaturity?

Some guys can, because they say love conquers all. Are you one of those guys? If you aren't, then call it a day. Many of us are not either. Marriage is about accepting the other person's flaws and giving your love unconditionally. If you cannot accept her flaws, do not take the plunge.

Not all girls are materialistic for the record... Some girls do change after marriage, for the better. My OC was finding it difficult to live apart from her mom in the beginning and it was almost miserable for her. She turned into a spoilt brat and expect a lot of things from me to be done for her. Of course we have our quarrels. But slowly, she changed and matured when she saw how much effort I put into making her life more comfortable and fun(it's important to have an element of fun after marriage!) so that she wouldn't be miserable. On my part I saw how much she strove at work to bring back the dough and play her part in the paying of bills. It really is T-E-A-M-W-O-R-K, a tag team sort of, in fact.

So the decision ultimately is up to you. Turns out good or bad, depends entirely on you. If you are not ready, dont do it.
If you think you can and you really love her, go for it.

[Fade]

Just my honest opinion.. so long you hang out in this forum, never mind who you marry lah. Congrats by the way.. tonnes of bros here are more skillful in handling difficult OC than to tell you what type of woman you should marry. You know the answer and you make your own decision. All the best.

[starystarynite]

most will say u have lost your mind by just marrying someone that you get toknow less than a month..including me..! haha

but ppl from india, they do not go through the pak tor process. Most marriage will be arranged by parents....they dun even know who they suppose to marry before hand....not tomention, their weakness, bad habiots etc..

but u know, india has one of the world least divorce rate...married couples still get together ok....very unusual phenominal...i seen it with my own eyes too for many of my colleagues...

[zyspt]

most will say u have lost your mind by just marrying someone that you get toknow less than a month..including me..! haha

but ppl from india, they do not go through the pak tor process. Most marriage will be arranged by parents....they dun even know who they suppose to marry before hand....not tomention, their weakness, bad habiots etc..

but u know, india has one of the world least divorce rate...married couples still get together ok....very unusual phenominal...i seen it with my own eyes too for many of my colleagues...

wah....brother u compare with india is way too far.
their culture and our culture too much different, much less to say their economics and education. to them, the man the woman marrying to is their heaven, their everything. either they obey their man, or get ready to be abused.

[Stud00]

Bro TS,

From Page 1 to 4..

The advices from most brothers n sisters in here are quite direct and clear-cut.. You should know what to do, and whats best for you. I hope that you make a clear decision based on facts and what you see.. and not be led by your emotions.

Good luck!

[Frankiestine]

most will say u have lost your mind by just marrying someone that you get toknow less than a month..including me..! haha

but ppl from india, they do not go through the pak tor process. Most marriage will be arranged by parents....they dun even know who they suppose to marry before hand....not tomention, their weakness, bad habiots etc..

but u know, india has one of the world least divorce rate...married couples still get together ok....very unusual phenominal...i seen it with my own eyes too for many of my colleagues...

Bro, I think India is a all too different culture from ours. Here out women folks they are not so subservient as compared to even those around our regions. That why I think those malaysia wives setting the Obedient wives club should serve as a wake up call to women folks here. Unfortunately, I think they viewed it more as a insult to them. But isn't it true, women should be like a slut in bed to hold on to their man.

To quote a phrase from Shakespearean work of Midsummer night dreams "Love looks not with the eyes but the mind, therefor wings Cupid painted blind". In other words don't just fall in love based on first sight, used the big head to think and analyze the person character. Something I think TS is only beginning to co.

[sammyboyfor]

The advices from most brothers n sisters in here are quite direct and clear-cut..

"Advice" is a non countable noun; you do not add an "s" to make it plural.

"Advice" is like "Rice". You say... "Please pass me the Rice." You don't say "Please pass me the rices" because "Rice", like "advice", is a non countable noun.

There are many other examples. To test your knowledge of non countable nouns, go to English Language Quiz - Countable or Non-countable Nouns (I-TESL-J) (http://a4esl.org/q/j/ck/ch-countnouns.html) and take the test.

[song881881]

been readin through the pages , answer is clear cut , im also married to a spoil brat , total 8 years liao , 3 wonderful kids , still the same, never change , in the end , who suffer ? you loh . i have heard cases that all begin bad buts ends with a happy ending . maybe one in a few hundred case bah , once u bite the bullet , u got to live with the deadly wounds , the rest of your life .

sit down , calm down and trash out whatever you have to say to her , then you decide if you wana carry on .

just my 2 cents thought .

[CheongKingKong]

The Key Word is 'Manage'...

How well you wanna manage your marriaged life...
How well you can manage your wife...

How you wanna manage your LIFE!

[blohsg]

CheongKingKong: I like your management skills hehe

Well ... T/S you could open mouth and trash it out ... speak now or forever hold your peace.

Sam : hehe think the threads are kinda nice where they are ... matters of the heart / Adult discussions about sex ... people post it here coz it gets more attention and exposure and replies ?

[arsenal_84]

Moral of the story:
Cut loss now = lose some money
Cut loss later = lose half your money
Don't cut loss at all = lose your mind

quote for the truth.

i would say this thread is better suited under matters of the heart section.

[wanderer23]

I have two choices... remove such messages and keep the forum true to its roots or welcome the broadening of the forum's reach and create a new section for all these lovey dovey questions. :D

Still pondering which way to lean.

I thought this thread can simply go into "Matters of the heart" section?

Simple

[blohsg]

Moral of the story:
Cut loss now = lose some money
Cut loss later = lose half your money
Don't cut loss at all = lose your mind

Golden! :D:cool:

[Petra]

tell her your issues, if she really loves you too she will change for the better

[londong]

Do some damage control and let go now , there will not be happiness for the both of you if you all are not united as 1 .

[neyney]

T.S. it is either you speak to your wife-to-be that you are very unhappy about it. When there are so many issues to be resolve, and all she cares is about her hen's party.

I dunnoe if in future, you have problems, will she stand by your side?

If it is not happening now, I dun see how she will learn it in future.