Why do men stray

[FrOsTy-CoLd]

hi everyone, it's me again.
Had been a long time since I last posted in here.

Am thinking of starting a new thread about why men stray,:p
Had ask my 'someone' about this question and his answer is short and sharp -
"Home food is nice and healthy...but sometime can't get enough...and not exotic at times...so eat out lor"

How about other Bros? share your thoughts.;)
Any thoughts about the thread subject from Sis here?

[ch18]

Agreed with your 'someone'.......
Home cooked food will take things for granted after a while and do not care about the feeling of man sooner and later, unable to fill stomach then got to either eat out or even 'ta bao' home lor :)

[joew2005]

i don't think tis stray issue is only restricted 2 men only ...
there is also constant rise in women tat r straying as well !!

[bombshell]

sometimes things start to get boring,so eat out to spice life a bit.

[kensheeh89]

well 1st of all frosty cold sis... it really depends.. nt all men tend to stray... there are many temptations out there and alot of men are unable to take a step back and just go ahead wif enjoyin the temptations.. but some guys are able to do so... i think most guys tend to like spiced up life but it really depends on each individual as its really DPDP.. dunno if i gave the rite advice er nt :(

[Frankiestine]

Well since we men like to use the analogy of food as a comparison, all I can say is I don't get to eat home cooked food that why got no choice but to "ta bao" all the time....:(

[Ravenzou]

Agreed with some of the Bro reason given here, as ppl tends to get bored with regular stuff and take things for granted, so we seek something to spice up our life.

Also we also want to fullfill our sexusl desire and dreams too ;)

[blohsg]

hehe ... maybe this is the closest fit to WHY ... click on link.

I assume affairs were all about sex, a mid life crises, or recapturing a man's youth. I've since learned that this is often not the case. There are several studies which indicate that men overwhelmingly cheat for emotional reasons - and not physical ones.

http://www.mdjunction.com/healthy-relationships/articles/why-married-men-cheat-even-though-they-still-love-their-wives

[HungerAwaken]

Hi sis,

Just my opinion.
Sweating is not limited to men. It is the nature of HUMAN.
Allow me to ask u one silly question.

Let's say u have one food u like very very much.
Only thinking about it make ur mouth waterful'
But if u eat that food and that food alone for about a month everyday whenever u r hungry and whenever u have to eat.
Will it b ok?
Even a small potato chip(hopefully it is not the one u choose in above scanerio) from outside may make u jump, right?
Another example, will u wear the same dress all the time everyday for the rest of ur life or just only for a month?
U will hate that dress what so ever much u loved it before. Right?

I think it is the same.
But, just my opinion, IF u don't want ur guy to swary, there's lots of things u can do.
Just make sure he taste the different taste with u everytime.
It is not limited to sex.
Yes men like SEX. but when comes to life, I think the understanding, commitment, and caring plays lots of game!
I once read in a book which they call that as sex with emotion. :p interesting right?
They said physical sex and emotional sex will make a happy and healthy relationship. (I'm not sure healthy means no swearing or not, but it is what I understand like that)

Hope it answer ur question
And also hope I dont irritate anybody

Thanks for ur time!

[rob_onny]

IMHO, the reason(s) may b 1 or more of the following:
Home's Abalone turned bad... Suddenly felt like eating outside Abalone when home have no stock... Felt like eating 2 or more Abalones in the same meal... Abalone being sent as a gift... so don't waste it... Felt like eating different origin of Abalones... Can't resist young & tender Abalones... Can't resist another Abalone when it's packaged w/powerful Squid, large Papayas & pretty chrysanthemum... & etc...

[Cchansey]

Sheesh i dont know why u guys like to compare women to food -.- they're human right?

I mean it takes 2 hands to clap no?

[shaketwistdrop]

We all know the reason why men/woman go astray. We yearn for a lil spice, that bit of spark which diminished over the years between two loving couples. Some eat out cos they do not want to trouble their partner or escalate things into something worse cos let's face it, sometimes we are not always on the same channel on things even after talking things out. Some see eating out or ta bao as an outlet to resolve a gaping hole which develops from the mundane day to day rituals of couple life but it takes two to clap and the reason why one eats out cos his/her partner starts to be too comfortable and takes the other for granted.

What we do not realise is that both of man and woman forget how special each other is to one another, and this develops into a cycle. A simple human psychological need to (1) be loved and (2)chase for love. We need both in a relationship and if there's an imbalance in a couple's life where one need is lesser than the other or most of the time in the later part of a couple's life the need to chase for love is not met, some will resort to eating out or ta bao.

Just my 2 cents worth:)

[boxout]

Well, my 2 cents, most man are droven by his little bro., thats why a female sales always do better then a male sales, so that prove it all.... lol. But when a man strays dun mean they dun love their wifey and family.

But again, I must agreed with most bro here, woman stray as well, but most of the time not as far as man.

"Home cooked not as good" well said! But again, it takes two handles to clap, being a homecooked food, you must understand your mans need, keep youself in gd shape and skill on bed (its worth your time to keep in shape, dun be a "Yellow Face wife"), once a while give him surprises on the bed, man had always lots of fantasy, each has their special likes and dream, understand him eg. sharing/exchange wife with others, gangband the wife, do it in the wild, watching others have sex, or even wife with other female. Im not saying to give in to your man, but also to let your man understand your fantasy and what you like abt sex (which most spore woman dun do that). Thats always this saying "relationship builds better on bed, man or woman". After all we all human being. Of couse the rest of the everyday life matters is up to yourself.
So when a wife said "Why my man strays", have you look at youself? How are you doing or what have you done or not do?

I understand sex might not be every womans cup of tea, but then again when man strays, the reasons mostly comes from the wife... sad to say. To be real, age is not a matter! look at the angmo wife, at 60 still doing crazy things together with her man, and must say the angmo man enjoys it with their wife. So yes, I sided man more, but sad to say, man always the problem kid.

[Komuso]

hi everyone, it's me again.
Had been a long time since I last posted in here.

Am thinking of starting a new thread about why men stray,
Had ask my 'someone' about this question and his answer is short and sharp -
"Home food is nice and healthy...but sometime can't get enough...and not exotic at times...so eat out lor"

How about other Bros? share your thoughts.;)
Any thoughts about the thread subject from Sis here?

Ma'am, would it be alright to change the question to one of why people stray, rather than just men... think it's only fair :D

I think the following factors are at work in any relationship:

(i) What kind of person would make the perfect partner me

(ii) What I think is the kind of person that would make the perfect partner me

(iii) The availability of a perfect partner who feels the same way about me

Logically speaking, if all three of the above conditions are met in one and the same person, there wouldn't be an issue with straying. But as you can see, there are already so many problems with these conditions.

Already in the case of (i), we can see that the odds of finding such a person may be close to impossible - a rough guess from general opinion would be someone who has fantastic attributes both emotionally and physically.

Then things get vastly complicated when we get to (ii), because we have to admit we may not know what kind of partner is really good for us. Just think of all the people who end up falling for hookers or waitresses with disastrous results - they probably see something in the relationship which really isn't there. There are of course a rare and lucky few who manage to live happily ever after, but the odds are really slim.

Lastly, the impact of (iii) very likely leads us to look for "the next best thing", which is where most of us end up. Depending on circumstances, the relationship results in varying degrees of success or failure.

So what do we do to make up the missing bits? We look elsewhere, of course :D

That being said, I think a mature person should recognise that things in life aren't perfect, and we need to come to grips with having to remedy these flaws as best we can, even if the methods we use are frowned upon by society. It's all very easy to talk about morals in theory, but which would you rather have - an agitated, unreasonable, incoherent person who sticks to the same partner but can't get over his/her dissatisfaction? Or a calm, reasonable person that tries to get by as best he/she can?

It's the people that get hung up on perfection that get very (sometimes even violently :eek:) dissatisfied with what they have. Hence I feel there's essentially no difference between wife-beaters and terrorists - they are equally unreasonable, not to mention also the scum of the earth.

[cockenadan]

babe, i thought this has been discussed and you should have closure already right? still cannot get over this???

[Stud00]

TS,

Both Men and Women strayed..
and i had the awesome priveledge to experience a women straying.
i think end of the day, is the individuals value system. that is about all.
Some guys/gals just won't stray while others think its perfectly ok!

Cheers

[cheongsterjon]

I think it would be unfair if you said only men stray....you can always take a seat at those coffeeshop seats near hotel 81 or fragrance hotel (those frequented by locals) during lunchtime and you would be surprised how many married women (local OLs) are checking in with their ''boyfriends''..things i can observe is these women are married because they wear a wedding ring on their fourth finger and there may be a possibility that these men they are with are their husbands who want a quickie but highly possible that they are only office colleaugues who they are having an affair with....

I think if their husbands have been eating behind their back, this is karma for their wives to be doing the same but if their husbands have been faithful..then wearing a green cap maybe too much to bear

[jasdude]

This question is a classic . However , the LADIES nowdays had jumped onto the bandwagon and is a growing trend .

There are many reasons for "Partners" to stray ;from proof of self ,lack of sex , love or companionship to failure to resist temptation . Reason or excuses , we have to think back , cos relationships between two persons is a continous building block . Although the higher it is , the slower it gets and the higher the difficulty to keep it from toppling . It does not mean you stop . It just means you must work doubley hard to keep it going ............. :)

[hickeybites]

Dear TS,

My personal 2c as someone who's unfortunately been on both sides of the fence: my newly coined 2 words - I've been both the the "strayee" & the "strayer".
Asking the question "Why Men & Women stray? " (let's be fair here) is akin to asking the questions like
- "Why can't there be peace on earth?"
- "Why are there starving children in the world?"
- "Why does bird poop seem to always aim for my car?" *just kidding ~ but it's really my personal fav question at outdoor carparks*

I'm not saying that it's right to stray... but it's very common (note that I'm using the word "common" not "normal").
We are human beings - imperfect, weak & vulnerable to the last pore. Moreover life's not black & white - so many nuances of grey & colour...
Rather I personally think the more crucial issue would be how both the "strayee" & the "strayer" addresses & handles the infidelity.
Do we choose to behave with grace/class/discretion/composure or act like Neanderthals?

Somehow TS's question made me think of the song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette.... http://youtu.be/Jne9t8sHpUc

[jasdude]

- "Why does bird poop seem to always aim for my car?" *just kidding ~ but it's really my personal fav question at outdoor carparks*

Thats a question I can relate to ! :p;):D

[rokhard]

Its interesting to use the food analogy.

We know we like home-cooked food: it is healthy and definitely cooked with love (because someone slaved to produce this home-cooked food).

Now we like variety, but here is where I disagree with the logic. Do we need to eat out for sake of variety? Surely, the home cook can produce any variety of dishes. I am a man and I cook, and I can produce a staggering variety of cuisines and cooking styles.

It can't be variety because we don't involve the cook in the eat out. Why not?

If you look carefully at this analogy and the real world of cheating, the drive to eat out is not about variety but the need to please ourselves. This straying is self-centered. It is only about me, myself and my needs. My intention is not to pour cold water on the parade, but I am trying to be honest. When I eat out, I cheat. Coming home again to eat home-cooked food does not make me less unfaithful.

We try to 'blame' our spouses for going out to eat because 1. the cook doesn't cook everyday (sounds like a damn good reason) or 2. home-cooked food is not so tasty anymore (well she used to cook well but not now, sounds like another good reason). But did behave like that when our spouses/partners were once the whole world to us?

I believe (and this is my personal take on fidelity and cheating) that we have lost sight of what it means to be together. For those of us who started out with sex as the only reason for being together, I can't help you here. But for those of us who entered into a serious relationship, surely we remembered it was love that brought us together. Love is about really wanting to spend our lives together: good times and bad times. It needs communication and constant watering. If cooked well, you should have a bond that goes beyond what is on the menu tonight. And for the lucky few, the sex gives birth to a family that should have love at the heart of the menu.

[Chanelfingers]

Many many reasons... Main answer she is not really what he wants at that moment of time..So he eats out...

He want pink nipples, she dun have
He want slender waist, she Lost them
He want D cups, hers is A B C
He want moaning, she scared children hear
He want threesome, she laughs at him
He want variety, she Ask him to do dishes instead of sweeping
He want Cosplay, she won't fit
He want OL, she housewife
He want lingerine, she say costly
He want foreign talent, she is not
He want bbbj, she says smelly
He want Syt, she milf
He want rough sex, she hits him
He want variety, she is not versatile

[Yaphets]

I'd like to answer this question changing it to "why do I stray"?

I used to be someone whom thought that I'd never stray in a relationship. But recently I just went for my first commercial sex. And I know that once I step into it, there will definitely be a second and a third time. So why did I stray? Simply because sex at home is unbearably mundane. I'm not accusing my partner of not being able to pleasure me enough. I'm accusing her at not trying to. So thus sex between us is totally boring for me. But it is not boring for her at all because I'm doing a great job satisfying her needs. How do I know? Because I've talked to her many times on the topic already. Until I find it really screwed up then I finally decided to go for commercial sex. So for me, it's because I'm being I'll treated and starved at home that's why I choose not to torture myself and eat out instead.

[blohsg]

Nel : :D this limerick should be posted in 2centsworth "Girls-who-are-cock-teasers" ...

How do you plan to deal with yours in the future if he wants to eat out ? I'm assuming your listed reasons may apply to you in some ways ? ;)

[Chanelfingers]

Guys OT
Nel : :D this limerick should be posted in 2centsworth "Girls-who-are-cock-teasers" ...

How do you plan to deal with yours in the future if he wants to eat out ? I'm assuming your listed reasons may apply to you in some ways ? ;)

Blohsg, can u type chanel instead of nel?
Nel reminds me of purple line...
If he wants to eat out, I can't stop him...
But if he is satisfied, why should he eat out?
Regards The listed reasons... I'm quite open with most requests...I dun have much rules/ restrictions
I have lotsa ideas,Just that the guy may not be ok... Lol

@4horseman
U heard of pink nipple cream, lightens n pinks the nipple in two weeks

[rob_onny]

2 make massages interesting & 4 illustration purpose... no discrimination intended... ;)
Nevertheless, we guys really really luv Abalones... :D
Sheesh i dont know why u guys like to compare women to food -.- they're human right?
......
Wow, must ensure that these raisins r wash clean clean...
If not, mouth & tongue may turn pink 2... lol... :D
......
@4horseman
U heard of pink nipple cream, lightens n pinks the nipple in two weeks

[Reoxy]

Men and women stray because they cannot/ do not control their cocks and pussies.

Simple answer for simple question.

There is no need for sugar coating.

[hoA123]

imho, it's all down animal instinct - our nature.

some might say it's the chase.
some might say it's boredom.
some might say it's vengeance.

given an opportunity, people would stray.
we have it in us to have multiple partners to better increase our chances of producing a better offspring.
some of us might disagree, saying it's just for fucking fun. (or fun fucking)

well, Reoxy got it right. we stray coz we can't control the animal in us.

[Chanelfingers]

Wow, must ensure that these raisins r wash clean clean...
If not, mouth & tongue may turn pink 2... lol... :D
no la, the cream whitens n tints it pink.

[Chanelfingers]

Nope. I have sensitive skin. Not sure of these creams will cause rashes on my lips anot. :D

Girls buy it to tint the lips pink too..

[waterbottle99]

The situation/surroundings affects one's person. :)

[redtemo]

Quoting A malaysia mp who once said this in a speech

"We men Go to work in the morning,many things we see distract and tempt us,wehn we go back home..we request the wife but the wife will say "wait i am cooking.wait i am going to visit relatives...so we men have no choice but to go to private place to sastify our urges"

[FrOsTy-CoLd]

Well since we men like to use the analogy of food as a comparison, all I can say is I don't get to eat home cooked food that why got no choice but to "ta bao" all the time....:(

Franky, you are cute
:p

[FrOsTy-CoLd]

Hi sis,

Just my opinion.
Sweating is not limited to men. It is the nature of HUMAN.
Allow me to ask u one silly question.

Let's say u have one food u like very very much.
Only thinking about it make ur mouth waterful'
But if u eat that food and that food alone for about a month everyday whenever u r hungry and whenever u have to eat.
Will it b ok?
Even a small potato chip(hopefully it is not the one u choose in above scanerio) from outside may make u jump, right?
Another example, will u wear the same dress all the time everyday for the rest of ur life or just only for a month?
U will hate that dress what so ever much u loved it before. Right?

I think it is the same.
But, just my opinion, IF u don't want ur guy to swary, there's lots of things u can do.
Just make sure he taste the different taste with u everytime.
It is not limited to sex.
Yes men like SEX. but when comes to life, I think the understanding, commitment, and caring plays lots of game!
I once read in a book which they call that as sex with emotion. :p interesting right?
They said physical sex and emotional sex will make a happy and healthy relationship. (I'm not sure healthy means no swearing or not, but it is what I understand like that)

Hope it answer ur question
And also hope I dont irritate anybody

Thanks for ur time!

hi bro, you have your points, agreed to some extend

[FrOsTy-CoLd]

Agreed with some of the Bro reason given here, as ppl tends to get bored with regular stuff and take things for granted, so we seek something to spice up our life.

Also we also want to fullfill our sexusl desire and dreams too ;)

hi bro, are you bored with "home cooked'?
;)

[FrOsTy-CoLd]

IMHO, the reason(s) may b 1 or more of the following:
Home's Abalone turned bad... Suddenly felt like eating outside Abalone when home have no stock... Felt like eating 2 or more Abalones in the same meal... Abalone being sent as a gift... so don't waste it... Felt like eating different origin of Abalones... Can't resist young & tender Abalones... Can't resist another Abalone when it's packaged w/powerful Squid, large Papayas & pretty chrysanthemum... & etc...


Bro Rob, like the way you put it, hehe.
Is home abolane dried abolone?:p:p:p can be special too hor, if you know how to prepare it:D

[FrOsTy-CoLd]

Many many reasons... Main answer she is not really what he wants at that moment of time..So he eats out...

He want pink nipples, she dun have
He want slender waist, she Lost them
He want D cups, hers is A B C
He want moaning, she scared children hear
He want threesome, she laughs at him
He want variety, she Ask him to do dishes instead of sweeping
He want Cosplay, she won't fit
He want OL, she housewife
He want lingerine, she say costly
He want foreign talent, she is not
He want bbbj, she says smelly
He want Syt, she milf
He want rough sex, she hits him
He want variety, she is not versatile

hi Sis, looks like i fit all the "he wants",;)

[rob_onny]

Bro Frankiestine, did u really pack (ta bao) outside Abalone home? :eek:
I @ most only dare 2 eat Abalones outside leh... :D
Well since we men like to use the analogy of food as a comparison, all I can say is I don't get to eat home cooked food that why got no choice but to "ta bao" all the time....
Dried Abalone need skill & extra effort 2 make it soft & gd 2 eat leh... ;)
I scare produce not enough Abalone juices may hurt both Abalone & Hotdog... :o
Bro Rob, like the way you put it, hehe.
Is home abolane dried abolone? can be special too hor, if you know how to prepare it

[orneryjoe]

Wanting to mate with more than one partner is inherent in males as well as females.

What restrains us from doing so is our cultural paradigm of monogamy -- something which begain roughly twelve thousand years ago with the discovery of agriculture. Then land was gradually parcelled up and the idea of exclusivity begain to take hold in more and more areas, including sex partners.

Before that, for hundreds of thousands or even millions of years, our hunter-gatherer, cave-dwelling ancestors had no sense of ownership of anything. Therefore most things, including sex partners, were shared within small troops of people, moving from one place to another. This way of behaviour is still observable among our closest animal relatives -- the chimpanzees and the bonobos.

Most people today attempt to conform to the monogamy ideal, often with lots of tension inside because it is so much against our earlier practice of multiple male and multiple female mating pattern. The result everywhere in modern society is high divorce rates, serial monogamy (people marry, divorce, and remarry), extramarital flings, commercial sex and obsession with pornography. The price exacted in term of bitterness and broken hearts is immense -- all because we do not understand our nature better.

Why do women seem to stray less than men? Because in a patriachal society, the men control the women. And the women are cowed by the men. If allowed to behave spontaneously, women would probably be even more open than men to accepting multiple partners!

Ask yourself this question: during sex, who mostly makes the louder noise? For anthropologists, such vocalizations by women is an invitation to other males to entice them to participate. Moreover, men cum once, twice or thrice at the most and fall back exhausted. For uninhibited women, multiple orgasms is normal and she is naturally well-equipped to take on successive male partners within a short time. Again, this is routine behaviour among chimps and bonobos -- our closest ape relatives.

The way to happiness lies in behaving more in accordance with our nature. Is this likely to happen in the near future? For the majority of humans, unfortunately, no, because culture exerts a powerful hold over most of us. But for a few daring and enlightened souls, it is possible to break free from our cultural constraints and do what comes most naturally. We have just one life to live after all, so we may as well live it to the full.

[Mike_JustDoIt]

I may be over-simplistic here. There are usually "push" and "pull" factors involved when guys (or ladies, for that matter) stray in a relationship ... From what I can see, many a times, both factors are at work ... the "push" factor usually boils down to a perceived loss / lack of affection from one's partner (which could be the lack of intimacy, settling into mundane routines, boredom, loneliness etc), whereas the "pull" factor is the opportunity / temptation to obtain this affection and gratification outside the relationship ... It is up to the individual's willpower, social pressure, religious / moral values etc to keep one from swaying under these forces ... More often than not, we succumb ...

[Rain-Men]

I thought of it as some sort like traveling. Sometimes, we need to take a break and take a plane or cruise out to some other countries. It's exactly like why we stray....take a break. After a "good holiday" and recharged, we will be back to our country for a while before we decide to fly or sail away again.....my three cents' worth..:D

[Stud00]

OMG... ROFL.. this is hilarious.. good one!!


Many many reasons... Main answer she is not really what he wants at that moment of time..So he eats out...

He want pink nipples, she dun have
He want slender waist, she Lost them
He want D cups, hers is A B C
He want moaning, she scared children hear
He want threesome, she laughs at him
He want variety, she Ask him to do dishes instead of sweeping
He want Cosplay, she won't fit
He want OL, she housewife
He want lingerine, she say costly
He want foreign talent, she is not
He want bbbj, she says smelly
He want Syt, she milf
He want rough sex, she hits him
He want variety, she is not versatile

[Fav69]

My view ... when you use the word "stray" its someone betraying his/her current relationship in term of getting emotionally involved with a third party.

To pay for services to others for sexual satisfaction but have no intention of engaging any further emotionally would merely be " a transaction " ... the basic demand & supply story.

People tend to stray because the most exciting part in any relationship between opposite sex is the " courtship " period. The very act of identifying a target or being targeted, the challenges of proving that you are still able to attract or be attractive, the numerous acts and deeds in getting into the good books of each other, the surprises, the sweet nothings ...the romance...and of course, the humping.

Being married and eventually staying together is a totally different ball game altogether .. the fun fizzle out, the sex becomes a routine, the usual is expected, boredom set in and plus there's are in-laws, out-laws, kiddies, money, etc. Problems aplenty. In fact, one will start to get irritated with partner's habits, opinions and start to ponder ... " What the shit did I get myself into now ? "

Thus when the temptation of " courtship " present itself again, some strayed ... but I, too must add, some don't. It all goes down to how one is able to justify , to himself or herself, why the need to start the ritual once again.

Jus my thots ... Cheers ! ;)

[FrOsTy-CoLd]

Hi Bros and Sis,
Thank you so much for all the replies.

I argees that women plays a part in the straying as well (for those relationship which involve 2 married people).

Why some man prefer to have affairs with only married women? While others, any women also can?

How about women who are having affairs? do they prefer married man only?

[ChaYen]

How about:

I get a thrill when I'm going at it because I know I'm not supposed to be doing it.

:D

[TUAEYE]

Guys and girls will never be contented , that why must have a change of pussy and dick :D

[grant]

I will like share my view on why people stray.

When a guy is married, he is the happiest guy on earth marrying the girl of his dream. Let say the guy has 10 criterias which the wife fulfills 7 of them.
Due to greed by human nature, the guy wants all 10 criterias. But as human is not perfect, the guy goes in search for the remaining 3 to make up the perfect 10. Thats where straying started.

However if the guy think wisely, he should be thinking that the girl at home has the 7 out of the 10 criterias instead of the girl outside 3 out of 10.

The above do applies to female too. Think twice before straying.

[rob_onny]

Well, i guess the reason(s) may b 1 or more of the following...
Gangs prefer married bu(s), b'cos:

Mostly these Abalones r well marinaded & experienced...
Eat these Abalones secretly in hide-outs...
Mostly these Abalones come w/no string attached...
Most of these Abalones r not sticky...
& etc...

Gangs prefer single bu(s), b'cos:

Mostly these Abalones r fresh & un-cook...
Eating these Abalones w/o fear of having troubles w/Abalone's spouse...
Mostly these Abalones come w/innocent love...
Mostly these Abalones need cares & attentions...
& etc...

Sorry 2 bros & siss if i'm wrong... :o
......
Why some man prefer to have affairs with only married women? While others, any women also can?
......

[KeanuReeves]

Bro rob_onny.. you'd made me felt like eating Abalones outside now.. ;)
Personally, i think humans (both males & females) may stray because of all sorts of reasons.. :D

[rokhard]

I will like share my view on why people stray.

When a guy is married, he is the happiest guy on earth marrying the girl of his dream. Let say the guy has 10 criterias which the wife fulfills 7 of them.
Due to greed by human nature, the guy wants all 10 criterias. But as human is not perfect, the guy goes in search for the remaining 3 to make up the perfect 10. Thats where straying started.

However if the guy think wisely, he should be thinking that the girl at home has the 7 out of the 10 criterias instead of the girl outside 3 out of 10.

The above do applies to female too. Think twice before straying.

You forgot something: Oxytocin: http://www.reuniting.info/science/oxytocin_health_bonding. This is a chemical that makes us so happy, so crazy about our loved ones: http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/love-science.html. The problem is that it lasts only for a short time, at most 2 years: http://www.articlealley.com/article_34235_35.html.

The reason why sexual chemistry lasts only for a short time is because couples need to work on their bonding, beyond the sexual chemistry, rose-tinted feelings and attraction.

Failure to move the relationship beyond the lust or sexual chemistry is the real reason why men/women stray. Needless to say, any strong negative events (lies, breach of trust, unfaithful acts etc) also have the effect of not only affecting the oxytocin levels but also damaging the bonds.

[cockenadan]

hi bro, are you bored with "home cooked'?
;)

Why? you trying to become tabao as well? :D

[koolAid]

Hmnn, for what my 5 cents is worth, I believe the beauty of a woman is what arouses a man and his strength. And the femininity is what he seeks.

Another thing is validation, in short, wife's been giving him an "F" and then another woman comes along and says "You're an "A" to me."

When I was still with my ex-gf, I couldn't help but look at other woman and sometimes even fantasizing. If there was any chance, I might have cheated on her, because she didn't make me feel like a man. She didn't attempt to arouse or seduce me and I was frustrated. For me, that might be a beginning of a straying, a seed is planted and frustrations water it.

So why do men stray? Validation.. because he is seeking for validation in other places regardless of what reasons.

Later on, I realized that she did not and was not obliged to make me feel like a man. I simply needed to work harder and improve myself, my masculinity would allure her. Masculinity to me is not just about ur bods, it comprises of a lot, especially stability in all aspects. You can be all, but she has to feel safe to accept your all and for her to reveal her intimate feminine side to you.

[Chanelfingers]

Later on, I realized that she did not and was not obliged to make me feel like a man. I simply needed to work harder and improve myself, my masculinity would allure her. Masculinity to me is not just about ur bods, it comprises of a lot, especially stability in all aspects. You can be all, but she has to feel safe to accept your all and for her to reveal her intimate feminine side to you.
That is so true...
I'd increase ur points soon.

[freezetheDB]

like what bro koolAid said, many men actually seek validation.

People, like you and me, sometimes forgot why we fall in love with the person in the first place. Plus all the work/stress, at times make a r/s a downer.

[ah rat]

Bro rob_onny,I am stray by those words :p :D

[FrOsTy-CoLd]

Why? you trying to become tabao as well? :D

Bro cockenadan, I am, for him only,;)

[rob_onny]

Bro Ah Rat, what words make u stray huh?? :confused:... :D
Bro rob_onny,I am stray by those words :p :D

[ah rat]

Bro Ah Rat, what words make u stray huh?? :confused:... :D

Abalones :p

[starystarynite]

Temptation, boring sexual lifestyle with wifey, change of taste, too stress up n looking for thrill

[starystarynite]

Men can seperate love n sex. Why women cannot? Majori ty of them....not referring to sme sis here though..

We can fuck n forget. Remain fren.

Women cannot. Must love then fuck? I stray does nt mean men dont love wifey n family right...hai....

[rob_onny]

Lol Bro Ah Rat... we'r like mind people... ;)... WE'R ABALONES LOVERS... :D
Abalones :p

[Frankiestine]

Abalones :p

Shouldn't it be cheese that makes you stray?:p

[ah rat]

Shouldn't it be cheese that makes you stray?:p

U want to give me a treat :D

[rob_onny]

B'cos Bro Ah Rat luv cheese flavour Abalones mah... lol... :D
Abalones :p
Shouldn't it be cheese that makes you stray?:p

[happywoody]

curiosity :confused:

opportunity :D

just damn horny :o

[Chanelfingers]

Men can seperate love n sex. Why women cannot?

Women cannot. Must love then fuck?.
because when a woman holds her lover closely as he make love with her, she felt she belongs to him. For that moment, she will feel vulnerable n fragile
as he pants down her neck and thrust in rhythm, she can't help but feel" I'm his..."

Thus she would want him to reciprocate then truly "she's his"

( FB should know their agreement )

[Reoxy]

Men can seperate love n sex. Why women cannot? Majori ty of them....not referring to sme sis here though..

We can fuck n forget. Remain fren.

Women cannot. Must love then fuck? I stray does nt mean men dont love wifey n family right...hai....

Most men fuck. There are some who make love.

Most women make love. There are some who fuck.

[Reoxy]

love is that little extra alchemist element that add the fizzle and sizzle. There is no reason why woman need love. They just do. So its better not to ask WHY they need love, but give them the love they need. Bring them on an adventure, that brings them from the shore, to the ends of the world, and back. Then rechart new destinations for them by bringing them to stranger tides. :D

Where is my dedication last time?

[Chanelfingers]

love is that little extra alchemist element that add the fizzle and sizzle. There is no reason why woman need love. They just do. So its better not to ask WHY they need love, but give them the love they need. Bring them on an adventure, that brings them from the shore, to the ends of the world, and back. Then rechart new destinations for them by bringing them to stranger tides. :D

If only men reads, understand and executes what is written above..
There will be no need for straying and divorce ...
Cus woman feels love , they reciprocates in ways to make men happy

[Frankiestine]

Most men fuck. There are some who make love.

Most women make love. There are some who fuck.

I am a lover not a fucker....:D

[tan-tan]

I am a lover not a fucker....:D

Haiz... sad to say, I am both! :D

[Torch_Man]

because when a woman holds her lover closely as he make love with her, she felt she belongs to him. For that moment, she will feel vulnerable n fragile
as he pants down her neck and thrust in rhythm, she can't help but feel" I'm his..."

Thus she would want him to reciprocate then truly "she's his"

( FB should know their agreement )
precisely,
that is a great feeling, d ultimate connection of 2 persons, dear
but
agreement anot, it might b different overall


jz sharin,
:)

[FrOsTy-CoLd]

precisely,
that is a great feeling, d ultimate connection of 2 persons, dear
but
agreement anot, it might b different overall


jz sharin,
:)

Some men, stray like a butterfly from flower to flower,:(
During our passionate moments, i do held on to him as if his all mine.

[arsenal_84]

there are men who don't stray and stay committed in marriage but in the end what did they get in return...betrayal from their wifes :(
life sucks especially when you meet the wrong partner.

http://www.singaporebrides.com/forumboard/messages/5/1786114.html?1315711321

[Alf1977]

Men stray because they don't love their gfs/wives. Or that they hv met up with sluts who put gong tao on them. Beware of those loose holes Thai sluts, they are the cheapo of human kind, raised to be prostitutes to all men. Anyway, some times girls are fuxked up too, they are ugly n fat n when beautiful, sexy, slutty ones come sucking at our LJs, who can resist, especially when it's free. Will you say "No" to a Thai buffet in which u can fuxk all you can???

The answer is simple, No!


Anyway, if you are a girl n reading this, yes your men stray because he don't love you already. Maybe you are a dead fish in bed, maybe you are fat n ugly!!! If he can stray, you think he can make a good husband in future?

[needforboobs]

men stray becuz the wifes girlfriends give them too much problems. men stray to escape the daily problems and shitzzz. men stray becuz there are so many slutty horny girls around who would readily suck us off muahahhahaa
:D

[orneryjoe]

... Anyway, if you are a girl n reading this, yes your men stray because he don't love you already. Maybe you are a dead fish in bed, maybe you are fat n ugly!!! If he can stray, you think he can make a good husband in future?

Not true. The best science evidence tells us that humans (men as well as women) are a non-monogamous species. We resemble our closest relatives -- the chimpanzees and the bonobos. Both species of great apes are also non-monogamous, like us.

We have been non-monogamous for hundreds of thousands of years and maybe even more.

We took the road to monogamy fairly recently -- no more than ten thousand years ago --- with the discovery of agriculture (and hence, settled existence) and the rise of social forces such as religion.

But we have never got used to monogamy as a species. All the evidence we observe tell us of this ever-present tension between our nature and our culture -- affairs, high divorce rates, booming commercial sex industry and widespread addiction to porn.

The simple fact of the matter is that most, if not all, humans naturally crave variety in many things, including sexual partners.

Alf -- your tag line is very vicious. Don't know what happened to make you so bitter but for your own personal welfare, you should be more magnanimous.

[Alf1977]

Orneryjoe, not too sure if u r a guy or gal, if u r a gal, pls wake up, guys who stray don't love their gfs/wives, why bother to find excuses for them bringing in those apes n chimpanzees or dish out all the animals in the zoo?

If u r a guy, all I can say is you can act as an ape or chimpanzee while I continue to be a man, a human being. What I wrote on my signature is true, don't men programmed to fuxk women n women are borned to be fucked by men???

[cookiemonsta]

it is certainly hard to practice monogamy as a specie
a bold statement, nonetheless a true one at that

partners feel too much pressure not just from work, but work and perhaps even social obligations
everyone has a limit and will even erupt and go astray

perhaps all parties involved in the relationship should consider this:
1. what i like about my partner
2. what i dislike about my partner and would like changed
3. what i'm prepared to sacrifice to achieve this goal

my recommendation is to fix the problems at home first before deciding to 'dine out'

to answer the ops q'... men stray because due to certain circumstances that have become over baring have to chose the easy way out. reason being that the problems brewing may be too difficult to overcome and may inflict further burden than necessary. as men, we (may) have chose to suppress our issues (as we may have already) rather than to face it head on
remedy; it takes two for a relationship to exist, best is to communicate and lay everything on the table to discuss why one (or both) parties are not happy.
negotiate, sacrifice and compromise to keep one another satisfied

hope this helps you get over... whatever needs attention


my 2c

[multiverse]

Not true. The best science evidence tells us that humans (men as well as women) are a non-monogamous species. We resemble our closest relatives -- the chimpanzees and the bonobos. Both species of great apes are also non-monogamous, like us.

We have been non-monogamous for hundreds of thousands of years and maybe even more.

We took the road to monogamy fairly recently -- no more than ten thousand years ago --- with the discovery of agriculture (and hence, settled existence) and the rise of social forces such as religion.

But we have never got used to monogamy as a species. All the evidence we observe tell us of this ever-present tension between our nature and our culture -- affairs, high divorce rates, booming commercial sex industry and widespread addiction to porn.

The simple fact of the matter is that most, if not all, humans naturally crave variety in many things, including sexual partners.

Alf -- your tag line is very vicious. Don't know what happened to make you so bitter but for your own personal welfare, you should be more magnanimous.

agreed, we were not designed to be monogamous.

also, morality was invented by humans.

[phallusman]

Drinking - well, too much alcohol would damage the liver and leads to other ailments too.

Gambling - may lead to addiction due to greed or just habit. And then, already we have heard of people committing suicide and multi-millionaires gone bankrupt.

Commercial sex - well, I would say not much harm la. Just spend what you can afford. There is a whole range of genre to suit each taste la. Even FB cost money too. and of course, to keep a mistress, no money no honey la.

I guess it has got to do with money too. If you're earning big bucks, I guess you muz give yourself some rewards.

[phallusman]

Question of monogamy or otherwise.

In our society, we are restricted by religion and legislation.

Each and every man can still go out to taste the forbidden fruit. Some just wanna to try once. Some are just too scared to try. Some are bound by their religion or by their principle. Some are too scared of their wife. But most of the rest would do it.

Some might just go rabba-rabba in a ktv. Others might just have a massage and a hj becos scared of disease. But, most of the rest would go the full course.

Only Islam allows 4 wives. But, even with 4 wives, I guess after a while, you will still wanna to taste different fruits or even better, abalone, young fresh ones.

Well, going back to older times, commercial sex is nothing new. That's why it is called the world's oldest profession.

[Alf1977]

It is sad why girls are borned to be prostitutes to service guys.

[Weissb]

Men juz like to try different kind of pussy, neh neh. As the saying goes, there's no cat who dun eat fish. Further confirm if it's free, nice and good *drool*

[orneryjoe]

Orneryjoe, not too sure if u r a guy or gal, if u r a gal, pls wake up, guys who stray don't love their gfs/wives, why bother to find excuses for them bringing in those apes n chimpanzees or dish out all the animals in the zoo?

If u r a guy, all I can say is you can act as an ape or chimpanzee while I continue to be a man, a human being. What I wrote on my signature is true, don't men programmed to fuxk women n women are borned to be fucked by men???

You are human. Factually speaking, that means you are also a great ape. There are five species of great apes: gorilla, orangutan, chimpanzee, bonobo and man. This is scientific fact. Check it up in any good encyclopedia.

The vicious part of your signature is the way you give out the number of a girl --probably someone who hurt you in the past. It just seems so unkind.

[Alf1977]

You are human. Factually speaking, that means you are also a great ape. There are five species of great apes: gorilla, orangutan, chimpanzee, bonobo and man. This is scientific fact. Check it up in any good encyclopedia.

The vicious part of your signature is the way you give out the number of a girl --probably someone who hurt you in the past. It just seems so unkind.

Anyway, that slut is a sex machine, love sex so much that she can have many sessions in a day.. I just give, in case bros here interested for unlimited free fuxks with a Fiona-Xie lookalike, without paying a single cent.

[stel]

is it that hard for humans to stay faithful to each other ?

[zacarie]

why do men or even women stray?
this is one qns where there is no ans.
we humans know tt it is wrong. and when it does happen, we give all kinds of reasons on y we do it.
man: wife is ugly, nasty, not loving, no sex, etc.
woman: husband is away, lonely, unfaithful, etc.
but are these considered the real reasons?
i feel there isnt really a reason for y humans stray. it's whether u want to stay loyal n true to the relationship that u have in front of you. cause after tt bonk out there the person could well disappear from ur life no matrer what kind of feelings tt u do share or have. but the person tt u have vowed to spend ur life with will be the one who will stick with u thru thick n thin.
dont even know if what i said is understandable or make sense. haha..

[seowlang]

Many reasons.. BUT on a lighter note, its akin to a person changing job. it could be..

Current job:
- lousy boss (OC)
- no bonus for performance (performance bonus)
- boss very niaw and restrictive
- no more prospect in your current position
- job doesn’t interest you anymore
- you see your boss interviewing other candidates!


Potential new job:
- very exciting prospects
- new boss promises a good ‘package’ for you
- new challenges that you like
- grass is always greener on the other side
- possible relocation!
- Sometimes, new boss can offer you expat package even


cheers
sl

[ILML]

Thrill. ;)

[callmebad]

actually human beings are biologically born not to be faithful, it is just the social norms that tie people down to one partner

[chocz]

Meaning, because of all the above reasons stated, we women have to be understanding when men strayed - as it's really not their fault / they do not wish to stray(but can't help it) also?

i'm confused.

[ahboyyy]

It takes 2 hands to clap... difference is the man's hand tends to try clapping more often than our counterparts! :P

[FunGuy70]

Well... there was a saying.." Is wise to buy a milk to drink outside n throw than bring the cow home for milk " :)

[orneryjoe]

It is sad why girls are borned to be prostitutes to service guys.

No, it isn't. For many women who are lacking in other skills, exploiting their erotic capital - a valuable asset - is the natural and intelligent thing to do. Not all women are, or can be, sex workers. And not all sex workers will succeed in their line of work.

It's not just men who crave sexual variety, by the way. Women do too. And ironically, the world of commercial sex may be that mode of sexuality most suitable for humans -- many men having sex with many women.

We are non-monogamous by nature -- men, as well as women.

[orneryjoe]

why do men or even women stray?
this is one qns where there is no ans.
we humans know tt it is wrong. and when it does happen, we give all kinds of reasons on y we do it...

Obviously not true that there is no answer. Perhaps there are many answers. But the most insightful answer possibly is that we stray because we are generally a non-monogamous species.

Seeking sexual variety is considered wrong only in a society conditioned to think of monogamy as the ideal paradigm. This was actually a very recent development in human evolutionary development -- about 10,000 years at most. For hundreds of thousands of years or even more before the discovery of agriculture (and civilization and religion....), the default was many men having sex with many women. That is still, deep in our heads, the most natural way to behave.

[fervent]

Those who remain loyal to one partner are in fact straying from their natural inclination.

[chocz]

so my husband who has been 'eating out' with the PRCs and FLs etc - he's just behaving 'normally' ?
If so, I should not be too surprised or even asked him about it - because it's just a 'normal activity' of men ? And continue to let him be?

[orneryjoe]

so my husband who has been 'eating out' with the PRCs and FLs etc - he's just behaving 'normally' ?
If so, I should not be too surprised or even asked him about it - because it's just a 'normal activity' of men ? And continue to let him be?

What is the alternative? You could confront him, be intolerant about it -- this could lead to a divorce. Are you prepared for this?

You could be less confrontational, talk to him honestly about it, and if he is still active sexually with you as well, insist that he wears a condom every time he has sex with you or anyone else.

You could just look the other way and appreciate that apart from the sex, there are possibly many other ties that bind the both of you together.

Simultaneously, if sex is still important to you, you could also seek satisfaction outside if your sex life with him is not completely satisfactory. You have that right, but of course, you needn't exercise it if you don't wish to do so.

At the bottom line, you need to face the plain truth that humans are non-monogamous by nature. Read "Sex At Dawn" by C Ryan & C Jetta. It's available at many branches of our National Library. For more info, take a look at this site (http://www.sexatdawn.com/).

[delayer]

the missing factor... communication...

have you ever wondered what happen... the spark is gone...
be it stress from work...? or is it after having kids.. the body has start to go out of shape... or the in law giving u stress ... lesser sex happen... and ur menses.. more emo.... lesser makeup... lesser dress up and lesser initiating of sex.. lesser bedroom talk.. lesser go out together time of shopping...

bring him out to dress him up.. bring him out and buy lingerie and bring him into the changing room to ask for opinion..
go for holiday..

guy... are a "look" creature... if they will stray they will.. no matter what.
also depend on their character... if they are not the straying kind.. they wont...

[chocz]

i do get my fair share of likings from men all these while.. i do dress up and make efforts to look good and attractive always, and i dress sexily, sometimes for him. But eventually, he still went out to eat.

so guess i'm not the one for him then? since he enjoys dining out.

sex means a great deal to me. i am one who can just have it right now and the, anytime! Still, he went out to eat.

so, being non-monogamous by nature, its just a norm for men/women.
I'm not going to be confrontational, but neither am I going to let him to bring a total darkness to my world, my life.

He chose to do this, i have my freedom of choice too.

[RobinH00d]

i stray becos my wife stopped being intimate to me...

said i stinked like a pig ..ooin ooin....

while someone else say i smell so nice.... kidding nia... pay $$$ even if u hv BO prcs will say u smell like chanel no 5 lol

:D

[orneryjoe]

i do get my fair share of likings from men all these while.. i do dress up and make efforts to look good and attractive always, and i dress sexily, sometimes for him. But eventually, he still went out to eat.

so guess i'm not the one for him then? since he enjoys dining out.

sex means a great deal to me. i am one who can just have it right now and the, anytime! Still, he went out to eat.

so, being non-monogamous by nature, its just a norm for men/women.
I'm not going to be confrontational, but neither am I going to let him to bring a total darkness to my world, my life.

He chose to do this, i have my freedom of choice too.

Please note that it would be wrong to conclude that he doesn't love you just because he also has sex with other women. He could still love you very much and be attracted to you sexually Simultaneously, he could also be craving for some variety.

And yes, of course, you are also free to do your thing. How he reacts to that would depend on how enlightened he is.

[Weissb]

i do get my fair share of likings from men all these while.. i do dress up and make efforts to look good and attractive always, and i dress sexily, sometimes for him. But eventually, he still went out to eat.

so guess i'm not the one for him then? since he enjoys dining out.

sex means a great deal to me. i am one who can just have it right now and the, anytime! Still, he went out to eat.

so, being non-monogamous by nature, its just a norm for men/women.
I'm not going to be confrontational, but neither am I going to let him to bring a total darkness to my world, my life.

He chose to do this, i have my freedom of choice too.

Totally agree! Of cos there's gd man ard, but how many % nia?

[Xensualize]

I say guys cheat because they want to reignite the passion la. So simple. Or they just wanna have a good time because their wife not up to the mark Liao..

[Alf1977]

I say guys cheat because they want to reignite the passion la. So simple. Or they just wanna have a good time because their wife not up to the mark Liao..

Brilliant answer!! The wife not up to mark!

So if your gf or wife cheat on you, you know you are not up to mark too!!!

[dantes inferno]

guys and girls both cheat. lol.

though imho, guys are more likely to cheat physically
while the ladies are more likely to cheat emotionally.

hard to say which is worse. =/

[Stud00]

All i can say is,

the grass definitely looks greener on the other side, but the truth is, it might not be..

Whatever you nurture, (appreciate).. will grow in value.. Personally, i don't think its worth it to risk it all for a night of passion..

Just my two cents worth..

[louisckw]

Human = homosapien

homosapien = one of the animal species

human say human is human not animal because human has ego

animal kingdom, no such thing as 'straying', they change partners as they wish

single-partner/marriage = man-made culture/rules

man-made culture/rules DOES NOT EQUAL empirical rules

empirical rules = science (gravity, atom, etc)

don't get headache over man-made culture/rules. others headache over it, their problem. you can think outside the box, you live happy.

:)