Sex after Marriage - Boring?

[ferragamo]

Was thinking after reading the other thread on "Wife don't like sex", and was reflecting on the other part of the issue.

After many years of marriage, the frequency of sex is very low, and the times that can get it, it becomes like very routine and boring

It becomes like fixed pattern like that - off the light, kiss, oral, insert, cum, washup

what do other married guys here do to refresh or liven up your married sex life? (those fortunate enough to get it!)

what works for those long time married guys?

[cheongsterjon]

Once in awhile, book a nice hotel room and order room service with wine...build up a romantic atmosphere and have a great sex night with your wife.... if want to relive those courtship days check into a budget hotel and have a quickie like bf gf....

[JERK-KAN]

Bro Ferragamo

I totally agree with you on this...

I havent been having sex with my CO for the past 6mths - 1 yrs.

Our frequency is like once every year

Every time I request sex, she would say too tired , tml got meeting etc etc

Till I fed up and stop asking for it ....

Wonder why I get married with her for what ?

[samyboys]

TS, just got to spice up a little. a different environment and mood can change it somehow

routine is better than sex starvation

[HwaTiaoChew]

Remember, sexual intercourse is more than a physical act, especially for women. Before a females body can become physically aroused, she must first be mentally aroused.

[charger]

Bro JK, I understand yr plight cus my CO also like that . Maybe cus we are in our middle-age, anyway my CO is one of those who didnt like it in the 1st plc. So hehe! nowadays I "steal eat" outside wth Prc, Viet & Msian wls. Anyway I suspected she knew but close 1 eye since she doesn't like sex.:o

[Assplorer]

TS, just got to spice up a little. a different environment and mood can change it somehow

routine is better than sex starvation

Agree . when the soup gets bland ; salt and pepper is to be added .

[ferragamo]

Agree . when the soup gets bland ; salt and pepper is to be added .


Hi Assplorer & samyboy, thks for the comments, can elaborate what works for you guys with your wife?

I think after many years, the candlelight dinner also lose its effectiveness liao

so any different ideas that seem to work for you?

[hardcoremayhem]

i think that this is the common plight of a lot of people...

imho, sex can get better after marriage because both parties become more comfortable with one another and more attuned to what each other like and dislike.

communication is the key to unlock that door.

although i do know that it is easier said than done....

[ch33zy]

try to spice things up along the way.. go for the unchartered waters.. but remember to communicate with each other.. that way, things will be better..

[allen3128]

Routine will create boredom and this is normal. Always remember that the ladies mind is her most powerful sex organ and patience if the hubby in stirring expectations and variety together with added 'salt and pepper' will keep her wanting more....and of course, keeping an open mind from both parties is important too....Cheers

[magix85]

Years ago, it was the '7 year itch'. Nowadays, it's not a surprise to hear about '7 week itch'. ;)

[Asu87]

Even i haven married but i feel so sianz when doin with gf till i rather watch porn n pcc myself then had sex with gf though she bj very powerful.I think i gt problem liao.

[Meijing]

Why don't you take a short holiday with her to spice things up.

[boblovingit]

haii... similiar situation... wifey doesnt like sex that huge much but ok to do it... its like a mission always.. tried to implant changes but still work stress and tiredness superceed everything. damn boring... she will always say "how come like that still not enuff.." :mad::mad::mad:

[ferragamo]

haii... similiar situation... wifey doesnt like sex that huge much but ok to do it... its like a mission always.. tried to implant changes but still work stress and tiredness superceed everything. damn boring... she will always say "how come like that still not enuff.." :mad::mad::mad:

I know your feeling. Having sex with someone who is not really interested is very sian. They just lie there like waiting for you to finish.

Then you bring it up and talk about it, they say "I already give you, what else you want me to do?"

The cycle goes like that - no sex, no sex, sit down talk about it, quarrel, next day have sex. Sex very robotic, talk about it, tell me can't help it , quarrel. No sex, no sex. Menses time.

Repeat cycle over the year.

Drives me nuts

[hsbc]

I know how it feels.. I am still interested in sex but my wife just seems to have no interest at all... it is even worst after giving birth to our first kid.. That is why (as I mentioned in some of my post) I ended up paying for sex sometimes.. and I do use Germany sex Drops to arouse my wife sometimes to get her into sex... and that helps!! For the good of our sex life ...

[Absoluteguy]

people say marriage = grave.... lol

[goodpartner]

people say marriage = grave.... lol

Didn't they say that, from some "happiness" survey, those who are married WITH kid(s) are ranked top? :rolleyes:

"The BEST legacy one can leave behind in life is a happy children"

p.s. quote from Singapore's Talking, not I say one, don't kill the messenger :p :D

[sammyboyfor]

Does nay brother has the same problem as me or I am the only one?

Sex isn't important in a long term relationship. Marriage isn't about sex. It's about mutual support, companionship and raising a healthy and well balanced family.

[nuclearkid]

After 6 years, there is no more spark. We had sex about twice a year:o

Every time I feel like having sex, I will go and pay for it:confused: I just do not know what has gone wrong as apart from sex my wife and I get along pretty well. Evertime after I paid for sex, I felt guilty.

Does nay brother has the same problem as me or I am the only one?

I have known my wife for almost a decade, married for almost 90% of it. Can't remember the last time we bonked (meaning not very recent) but like yourself, relationship still fine. The kid came some years back, then she had a mild but persistent feminine hygiene issue (which lasted a good part of a year) and since then, the frequency dived off a cliff. It has been like this for a few years, so it has more or less established itself to be a long term pattern.

Sometimes you read about stories about bros bonking people's wife, which makes you suspicious about your own. Since the old lady at home has said a few times that she doesn't really need her crack worked on, I guess I'll just have to take it at face value. No point going paranoid over it, eh? :)

[ilove2cim]

Hi guys, I love my wife and 1 year old kid but sometimes I would sneak outside for paid sex. Previously when we were dating, my wife would give me a surprise BJ in the car, now I have to demand for sex, most of the time NO 1% of the time get lucky.... if not I self inflict damage on myself....cheap but the feeling damn sian..... Any fathers out there got the same problem?

[samyboys]

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=227268&page=14

[justcurious29]

Was thinking after reading the other thread on "Wife don't like sex", and was reflecting on the other part of the issue.

After many years of marriage, the frequency of sex is very low, and the times that can get it, it becomes like very routine and boring

It becomes like fixed pattern like that - off the light, kiss, oral, insert, cum, washup

what do other married guys here do to refresh or liven up your married sex life? (those fortunate enough to get it!)

what works for those long time married guys?

Here a few things I did:

1. Buy lingerie in different designs - A woman will turn wild in lingerie.
2. Do it at different place or different time of the day. For example, go for candle light dinner and then check in to a nice hotel. You will get bored doing on the same bed and at the same time of the day.
3. As a man - you should do more for her. Massage, cunninglus, bath....

I mean it is difficult to sustain a marriage....for any man. How many men can stay faithful to one woman?

[naturegreen]

Sex isn't important in a long term relationship. Marriage isn't about sex. It's about mutual support, companionship and raising a healthy and well balanced family.

75% true. But f there's no sex in a marriage, it's not healthy either. Then why get married in the first place? I am also another victim of no sex for the longest time. :o

[couple love sex]

Hey all bro, moods is very important.
Previously i had a problem with my CO too. We stop having sex for quite sometime and out of sudden. I think we need some spices into our life. Than i started to talk dirty and move on to outdoor sex which when we dating time. We tried and fell very excited. And add a few sex toy to our game. It do helps as my wife willing to try to add on some joy into our life. Now we are back to track. Sometime while sex. I will act as her friends that she is close with and let her imagine that she was having sex with another. And sometime she help me in that way too. Can give that a try by asking her to try out all this. Good luck guys. :)

[red skye]

Seems like so many of us face this. Me also lack it cos my kid insist one of us sleep with him (mostly my wife) so have to diy.
I quite like the idea of booking short time at hotel. Any one know which hotel 81 has bathtub for short time? Or any budget hotel?

[bloopz]

hmm.. how can u guys expect ur wife to keep herself motivated and have sex with u when ur tool never get any bigger? u think she will not get bored of ur tool meh? :p

just joking.. dun stress guys..
how have u been communicating with ur wife after marriage? r u still living like a bachelor, having late nites, being glued to the tv or computer? have u spent time asking ur wife how is she feeling or how's her day just like when u were dating and you have been trying to understand each other more?

many a times we have been taught in life to expect and ask for things from our love ones, rather then to provide for them without expecting anything in return. love is about the balance between giving and taking.. how often have we taken what our love ones have given to us without even a word of thanks or even realizing that they have put in effort?

having a relationship takes much effort and time to manage it. there are always easy way out, eg: to get out of the relationship or to find other alternatives instead of facing the issue, but isn't it more fulfilling to learn from the issues and set it right? instead of expecting ur partner to change, isnt it better to start the change from within ourselves?

u can start by asking urself what can u do? pay attention to what your wife have been doing for you and appreciate it sincerely. or just take the time to do for them the nice things they have did for you..

note:
expecting something and getting nothing = disappointment...
expecting nothing and getting something u want = surprise!

i'm no guru, but hope this helps.. :)

[xaivervii]

Seems like so many of us face this. Me also lack it cos my kid insist one of us sleep with him (mostly my wife) so have to diy.
I quite like the idea of booking short time at hotel. Any one know which hotel 81 has bathtub for short time? Or any budget hotel?

for older bros, i express my empathy, cox they were the vanguards but i think they hav managed to "resolve" this issue by outsourcing.. for the younger bros tt r not married or are alr married but not for too long... u guys shld alr know wat is install for u guys aian't it? y whine here? IMHO, this is a vicious cycle.. some joker will read all these complains u guys have, den a couple of mths/yrs down the road he will be posting here asking the same question: Sex after Marriage - Boring?

As for bros feeling guilty, wake up man, y shld u feek guikty when ur wife doesnt even feel guilty abt exercising her duty as a wife...it is like saying: i am feeling guilty for not staying loyal to my boss and by changing my job when ur boss gives all sorts of excuses nt to pay u.. worth it to feel guilty? pls ponder

[red skye]

for older bros, i express my empathy, cox they were the vanguards but i think they hav managed to "resolve" this issue by outsourcing.. for the younger bros tt r not married or are alr married but not for too long... u guys shld alr know wat is install for u guys aian't it? y whine here? IMHO, this is a vicious cycle.. some joker will read all these complains u guys have, den a couple of mths/yrs down the road he will be posting here asking the same question: Sex after Marriage - Boring?

As for bros feeling guilty, wake up man, y shld u feek guikty when ur wife doesnt even feel guilty abt exercising her duty as a wife...it is like saying: i am feeling guilty for not staying loyal to my boss and by changing my job when ur boss gives all sorts of excuses nt to pay u.. worth it to feel guilty? pls ponder

Bro, tks for the response. me actually asking to go short time with my wife at budget hotel since we can't find space to do it at home. my apologies for not being clear. paiseh paiseh

[SpIkEY]

haii... similiar situation... wifey doesnt like sex that huge much but ok to do it... its like a mission always.. tried to implant changes but still work stress and tiredness superceed everything. damn boring... she will always say "how come like that still not enuff.." :mad::mad::mad:


Heh heh ..U need to train her bro ..hahaha :D

[lam1673]

I must say the wife mood is very important, must find way to make her horny and receptive, otherwise even you have sex, is not satisfying.

Last night i have a bad experience, I tried to seduce her by caressing and licking her, end up, she pulled down her panties, and said "hurry up, make it quick, I need to sleep". I lost my erection.

[tomvoyeur]

Yes - the foreplay is impt. Keep the foreplay n the magic lasts. ;)

[owl888]

I must say the wife mood is very important, must find way to make her horny and receptive, otherwise even you have sex, is not satisfying.

Last night i have a bad experience, I tried to seduce her by caressing and licking her, end up, she pulled down her panties, and said "hurry up, make it quick, I need to sleep". I lost my erection.

Tat's very bad leh.....Sg gals very jialak!

[cheongsterjon]

i have a buddy who told me that his wife who currently taking a professional accounting qualification cert while having sex with him ask him to test her questions while banging her...is this boring or interesting? you decide and to me i think it is bad

[wtf999]

Me and my gf used to have hot sex too. After a while, yes, it becomes boring and routine. We communicate a lot and look for ways to spice up our sex life. IE buy cosplay clothings, buy vibrators, have sex at other places, buy handcuffs and etc. It really helps for while. But gals dun like to do the same things over again like us. Sometimes need romance. So the other day we had a dance because we have nv dance b4. Although it's at home, it can still be romantic. Another thing is that we dirty talk once in a while and send dirty SMSes to each other. This might help you bro. Although it becomes boring again after a while, then just share our fantasies and it works as well. The only problem now for me is that my gf dun dare to open up. Gotta learn to warm her up and make her open up to tell me what are her fantasies and the things that make her high.

[zt05]

mi too.. with my gf for 6 yrs starting still okie okie 1 mth few time slowly 3 few times .. now more worst like taking exam .. still need c timing period .. sometime i feeling like bang the wall.. n i believe sex make good realtship...

[lone_wolf69]

I must say the wife mood is very important, must find way to make her horny and receptive, otherwise even you have sex, is not satisfying.

Last night i have a bad experience, I tried to seduce her by caressing and licking her, end up, she pulled down her panties, and said "hurry up, make it quick, I need to sleep". I lost my erection.


like that i sure limp, after marriage wife with such an attitude sure makes me think twice and the road is still pretty long ahead :(

understand your situation bro :o

[Monkey4]

Bro Ferragamo

I totally agree with you on this...

Our frequency is like once every year

Every time I request sex, she would say too tired , tml got meeting etc etc

Till I fed up and stop asking for it ....?

You are not alone... moreover for me some years no have... oredi


Remember, sexual intercourse is more than a physical act, especially for women. Before a females body can become physically aroused, she must first be mentally aroused.

true lah... we have to arouse their mind first but then with such a hectic world like sillypore.... mine is mentally exhausted by the time she reaches home....it just like trying to reboot an old non pentium computer which takes ages or if not sometimes it comes up with a blue screen :D


Every time I feel like having sex, I will go and pay for it:confused: I just do not know what has gone wrong as apart from sex my wife and I get along pretty well. Evertime after I paid for sex, I felt guilty.

Does nay brother has the same problem as me or I am the only one?

I stop feeling guilty liao since one of the pre-requisite of a wifey role is sex too though it cannot be too demanding or overly frequent lah.

Sex isn't important in a long term relationship. Marriage isn't about sex. It's about mutual support, companionship and raising a healthy and well balanced family.

Well so true... despite the absence of Sex in my marriage now... I still love and care for my wifey greatly and also communicate daily with her on issues like how's her day at work etc...In short, apart from no sex.... I think I have everything a wife deems must have traits and I am contented liao... when I need sex ... I just resort to PAP :D

[Rickey]

I must say the wife mood is very important, must find way to make her horny and receptive, otherwise even you have sex, is not satisfying.

Last night i have a bad experience, I tried to seduce her by caressing and licking her, end up, she pulled down her panties, and said "hurry up, make it quick, I need to sleep". I lost my erection.

mi too.. with my gf for 6 yrs starting still okie okie 1 mth few time slowly 3 few times .. now more worst like taking exam .. still need c timing period .. sometime i feeling like bang the wall.. n i believe sex make good realtship...

Empathise wif the 2 bros experience...These are just but some of the typical negative responses frm the OCs of many of us guys in SG towards having sex after marriage wif their HBs, resulting in the men having to seek for alternative sexual release or fulfilment elsewhere or contributing to the ever increasing number of divorce cases :(...there just doesn't seem to be a good lasting solution to tis problem..& the bros' experiences are only the tip of the iceberg

besides trying as hard as we can, there seems to be nothing much else the HBs can do to bring these women back to their sexual senses which God had originally built into them..sigh...wat a waste...tat is one vital human function & enjoyment for them which they are voluntarily denying themselves :(...tis so sad...no one can help pple who do not themselves want to be helped..

[orneryjoe]

If we are talking long term, it's quite inevitable. Sex with the same person will become boring after some years, or even sooner than that. That is perfectly natural for men, as well as for women.

The cure is variety for both. But most people are not enlightened enough to adopt this route in an honest and open fashion.

This goes to show the highly constraining effect of our conventional cultural norms -- especially the one-man, one-woman idea that permeates most developed societies.

There are no easy answers to resolve this problem. We are still rather backward when it comes to understanding issues regarding our sexuality.