Lifestyle Tips I Adopt, You Should Too!

[abugga]

Hello all, been lurking around this forum for quite some timeand i haven't Noticed any one posting topics on this before
(at least not that i've read of so i apologise if similar opinions have been posted before)
And i'd like to start the ball rolling. Feel free to add in any pointers of your own and maybe we can exchange pointers here as well!
This is to help fellow bros here build up that inner confidence of theirs and perhaps ... help spark that flame in them to start attracting women? ;)

Anyway here goes! Some of the guidelines in life i adhere to.

Be special
Do you want to be the guy everybody wants to get along with? Do you want to be the one that every woman desires to be with? The method is simple: Be special. You have to be special to become a true alpha male. If women think that you are boring like most men, then they will never want to sleep with you. Being special is not that hard, you just have to be good at something that people love. For example, be a "professional" magician, the best dresser at parties, drummer of a band, the best dancer at clubs, fun photographer, and main singer at a bar. Practice what you like to do and be the best.

Social exchange principle
Personalities are molded based on the experiences of a person's life. Therefore, the type of people that you are friends with and socialize with have a great influence on you. Many men have friends that are simply negative people, and are not enjoyable for anyone to be around. Whether you like it or not (or even realize it), negative people are an enormous drain on your personality and attitude. Instead of fighting against the current, make the Social Exchange Principle work for you. Make friends with the type of person that you strive to be, and their positive traits will rub off on you. Attitudes and behaviors are contagious. If you want your life to be filled with happiness, make sure your friends enrich your life, not harm your progress.

Never let it slip
One common thing new starters to the game tend to do it put on the outer game (body language, eye contact etc..) when they are around women, yet when they are alone or around old friends, go back into their shell. If your going to change your life, you have to do that. CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Rid yourself of your old habits and keep up your new found confidence and body language. This stuff doesn't just help you with women, but all aspects of life, so never let it slip

The Importance Of Being Busy
Chicks don't like boring guys. It's a fact. They want a man to be interesting, fun, and unpredictable. But yet, I see so many of my dude friends replying to a text message with this: Hot Chick: "Hey, what's up?" Average Dude: "Nothing much, you?" FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! Replying with the phrases "nothing much", "just chilling", or "I'm bored" is the single dumbest thing you can say back to a TOI. You might as well just say; "I am boring. My entire life is boring. I have nothing better to do..." If you truly want to get a girl, you've got to be interesting (or at least appear interesting). It doesn't matter if you're just sitting on your couch masturbating at 2:00am. Always give the impression you are busy or doing something fun and interesting. More Interesting = More Different = More Valuable = Getting Laid.

Color-coded-players
Always make sure that your outfit matches... I see guys every day that have no idea how much girls they are missing out on because of one simple fact : They have no idea how to dress! It all about the colors man, get the right and your game will be on point. Whatever you wear should match, from your hat to your shoes... and so should everything in between! I don't mean all ONE color, but rather two or maybe three colors that mesh nicely together.

What's up with your girl's sister, buddy?
Make as many friends as possible that are already involved in relationships, because they are always trying to hook their friends up with each other. This is a easy way to have the girls brought to YOU, without barely any action on your part. Using this strategy you don't even have to make a "perfect" first impression because your friends will have already given her the thumbs up.

Chin up, shoulder back, now strut!
Remember that not only women use body language to send signals to the opposite sex. You may be sending bad vibes to a woman while you are talking to her by your own body language, and you might not even know it.

Stop wishing and start living
You know that guy who has that one look you wish you had? Maybe his hair is straighter, his eyes are a bit bigger, has a smaller nose, anything like that. He has that one thing that you wish you could have. Well stop wishing. Just know that there is definitely something he is really insecure about, and when he looks at you, he wishes he could have your nose, or your ears, or anything else. No one is perfect, except those that realize their imperfections, embrace them, and move on with their lives.

Build up that confidence boy
Constantly tell yourself how attractive you are... how any woman would be blown away by you if you sat down and had a chat and they got to know you. Tell yourself these types of things every day for one month, then take a good look at yourself in the mirror and you will notice that you actually DO look much better than you think. This will also boost your confidence at an amazing rate.

Value value value
If you want to be successful with gorgeous girls the number one thing you should remember is you should be the leader of the pack, the guy everyone looks up to. You've got to have value. You won't believe how many guys have a few unsuccessful closes and start to question their ability and undo all their hard work. Inner game and outer game goes hand in hand. Think highly of yourself and others will think highly of you - including gorgeous women


Do give me some feedback as in maybe my paragraphing is a little too chunky? and hard to read?
i've tried to keep everything as simple as it can be for ease of reading.

Cheers guys and good hunting :D

[greatdrakgd]

thanks man nice tips the first one works well

[ch33zy]

great tips.. thanks for sharing.. :)

[naturegreen]

"The Importance Of Being Busy" is indeed one good point that you brought up.

[abugga]

"The Importance Of Being Busy" is indeed one good point that you brought up.

yes,i couldn't have stressed more of this point to my buddies. and hey? isn't it good? to a girl constantly think what are you doing that keeps you from replying their texts/calls be it Unintentional or intentional? :D:D:D

[pale_dick]

Great Tips from Ts. i would like to share some tips too about 'Why don't women like nice guys but like bad boys instead?':rolleyes:

Contrary to popular belief, women do like nice guys. What they don't like are guys who let women walk all over them. They don't want a doormat and they don't want a supplicating fool. Women walk over nice guys because nice guys let them do it. It means you DON'T supplicate yourself with a woman.

Think of it like a reward system. In order for you to do something nice for her, she MUSTdo something nice for you. Not the other way around. An average chump will usually awkwardly hang around the bar and wait to find women who he can offer to buy drinks for. Losers, supplicators, "Nice guys." They're the first to get stepped on, used, then ignored, and the last to get laid. These guys will call getting laid "getting lucky" because that's what it takes for them to successfully seduce a woman

Nice guys vs. jerks isn't the real issue here, it is all about confidence. The major difference between nice guys and jerks is this: if a nice guy has the guts to approach a woman who has caught his attention, he is so worried about saying the perfect "nice" thing that he will totally flub it. The "nice" one ends up stumbling away from the object of his desires with his tail caught between his legs ... this is NOT the impression you want to make!

A jerk, on the other hand, appears to have been blessed with ability to approach anyone and say just what's on his mind completely disregarding any of the repercussions. He just does it. I have no clue how he does it. But DAMN, the man who has the confidence to accomplish that has caught my eye for the night whether he wants it or not!

Don’t think women don't like nice guys. There is an initial appeal to a jerk, but it doesn'tlast long. As long as you don't act desperate and have a little something going for you,believe me, a nice guy CAN finish first - and with the girl of his dreams.:cool:

[abugga]

So, anyone has any pointers to exchange? :)

Last one before i end it for the night today..

One way to walk up to a girl and start a conversation.
If you notice a girl that you like but she is with one of her friends, try this approach. My favorite way to do this is to talk to the "uglier" friend first in order to make the hot one jealous... because if you talk to the hot one directly the other might like you too and get jealous... then she will do just about anything to ruin your chances with her friend - not good! Go up to the ugly one and say something like "I really like your shoes/heels?? :D skirt, shirt, hair... anything then after she says thanks quickly move on to the hot one and give her a compliment also... It is extremely important to keep talking to BOTH of them for a while, but gradually focusing more on the hot one, until the point comes when you are only talking to her... then end the conversation by getting her number and setting up a date.

[Incongnito]

Nice thread... Thumbs up for u!

[Ah Ber]

Wow.. TS you can start a date agency or something. Thought recently in the news have one, you can be better than him I think!

[abugga]

women do like nice guys. What they don't like are guys who let women walk all over them.

In order for you to do something nice for her, she MUST do something nice for you. Not the other way around.

if a nice guy has the guts to approach a woman who has caught his attention, he is so worried about saying the perfect "nice" thing that he will totally flub it. The "nice" one ends up stumbling away from the object of his desires with his tail caught between his legs ... this is NOT the impression you want to make!


I couldn't have said it any better. Yes brothers, women like nice guys, but IMHO what they really like is a nice guy AND a man who can take charge. Think of it this way, we all want a smoking hot lady as our spouse but at the same time we wish she could be the perfect mother for your child? That's the best analogy i can think of.

Be an alpha male, and by alpha male i don't mean through strength and characteristics of a brute.

Number 1 characteristic of a alpha male - His smile
Number 2 - Confidence
Number 3 - being well-groomed,
Number 4 - possessing a sense of humor,
Number 5 - ability connecting with people
Number 6 - being seen as the social center of a group of people.

And all that being done without people feeling dominated at all, in fact they will love your company.

And very importantly, when approaching women, please do not try to think of a perfect thing to say. You can say anything, a simple hi, just do it with confidence, a nice smile and simple eye contact. That's your ice breaker, how you are going to take the conversation from there is a different story all together.

I'm thinking of sharing some other lifestyle tips to go around, topics being:
Cologne - IMO VERY IMPORTANT aspect you should not overlook and often done wrongly.
How to get a girl to kiss you. :p
Or maybe a more... detailed write-up of what i think of nice guys vs bad boys

Take your pick!

[pale_dick]

So how about nice guy vs good man aka Alpha male?
It’s true that we know that nice guys lose. So, the average man starts thinking that it is the jerk who wins with the ladies. Not necessarily true. There are “nice guys” and there are “genuinely good men”.

I will lay out the differences for you.

1) A “nice guy” capitulates to women's whims.
"Yes Dear." "Whatever you want, honey." Men only say this to avoid conflict (at best) or (at worst) because they pathetically think that their efforts will somehow impress a woman. Women smell insincerity a mile away. Sorry.
2) A “nice guy” is afraid to lose the woman he is with.
Therefore, he literally bends over backwards not to "upset" her or say the wrong thing. Despite the obvious desperation involved here, arguably the most unattractive aspect of all this to a woman is how BORING it is.
3) A “nice guy” has no leadership.
A woman can’t respect a man that has no decisiveness and assertiveness. The nice guy never goes for what he wants.
4) A “nice guy” lacks confidence.
If you are worried she won't like you, then she probably won't. And similarly, if you act "nice" because you don’t have the courage to stand up for yourself, she'll likely walk all over you, disgusted by every second of it.
5) A “nice guy” has thinly-veiled ulterior motives.

Nobody likes to be "brown nosed" or "buttered up". There is no more blatant display of viewing a woman as a purely sexual object than to go overboard being "nice". She knows, you know and the rest of the world knows you wouldn't be so "nice" if she wasn't so sexy. Consider how weak this appears to a woman. End of story.

[pale_dick]

The list before showed what a “nice guy” does. Now let’s look at what a “man” does.

1) A man treats all women well, regardless of sexual attractiveness.
Guys, take this test. Do you open doors for ALL women, or only for the ones who look good? If you are selective, your "nice" behavior is all about manipulating women into giving you what you need. Start appreciating women more genuinely and you will begin to be more genuinely appreciated.

2) A man is not focused on getting some.
Sex-starved men stay hungry. Men without pressing sexual needs cause women to feel more comfortable in their presence. Ironically, women who are comfortable around a man are more attracted...and ultimately more sexual. So the pattern operates.

3) A man takes charge.
A man is decisive, strong, assertive, brave and courageous. He doesn’t run away from danger. A man has paid attention and learned what makes the woman tick. When the date comes, he has the plan completely handled. At the end of the evening, the woman is often flabbergasted at how "perfect" her evening was. The Man with leadership knows it was all no accident.

4) A man has options.
Therefore, he succeeds in causing the woman to feel valuable and special. She views herself as the "winner", and rightly so. Other women want this guy, but she is with him. That feeling is a good one to have. If a man can inspire a woman to feel valuable OR special he's on the right track, but getting both right is an unbeatable combination. By the way, contrast this scenario with the weak man's cavalcade of compliments and/or gifts designed to help him somehow manipulate a woman's attraction.

5) A man has high standards
This means the man is EVALUATING the woman he is with rather than attempting to impress her. He has complete control over his dating life. He is confident enough in his character to realize that women worth his time and effort will recognize that and be impressed without his having to press the issue.

[Woodland777]

Great tips, right to the points.
I find your tips very useful
Thanks you so much

[abugga]

Going to post a two topics today, how to know if a girl is interested in you and cologne. so pardon me for the long post :)

How do we know?

Look for indicators of interest, a woman will show these if she is really interested in you. She will...
Ask for your name
Ask if your single
If you take her hand and give it a light squeeze, she squeezes back
toss her hair around to see if it will get your attention
play with her hair if she is talking to you
calls you a player
re-initiates conversation when you stop talking

so on and so forth

for me (not for the faint hearted :D), i take a photo of myself and a girl smiling, then another one striking a serious pose, and, finally, one kissing (on the cheek or lips). Afterward, look through the photos with her. At the final photo, say, 'We make a good couple, don't we?" If she agrees, i'm in.

Cologne

Ah.... the part where most guys don't know what kills a woman, when she remembers you by your scent. Don't know what i'm talking? ever had a woman steal your clothes, jacket, suit just because it is stained with your cologne so she could hug or wear it to sleep? Yes, to woman, her sense of smell is one important point to attack. it's like having a "press here to put her in a good mood" button

Also, with it, you could attract a woman, for example you step into the mrt and girls will automatically look around or at you because something smelling good is coming from your direction? Always have a few different colognes, I recommend at least 2-3 which you rotate often. You will become more attractive to women that you are around on a regular basis because they will not be able to predict what you will be smelling like. Predictable is boring, and most women think that their own lives are boring... so in turn they search for a mate who does NOT appear to be living a boring life in order to add some spice to their own. When you smell different just about each day, you will be displaying that you are a spontaneous person... as well as a person with style, and with the right choice of cologne... a person with class as well. This is exactly what ANY real player should want the ladies to think of them.

Don't be fooled by brands like Calvin Klien, Curve and Polo Sport. If you wear any of these "regular brands" you will not be ANY better than the last guy who decided that a decent cologne was not worth the investment, plus most of the cheaper brands smell pretty bad... the last thing you want to do is turn women off simply because your cologne gave them a headache! Now you might automatically say "I can't afford that!" when you hear a name like Armani or Versace... but I can assure you that their cologne is quite cheap compared to most of their other products, and spending $100-150 on a good bottle of cologne instead of wasting $50 on a cheap bottle is definitely worth it when people constantly tell you how good you smell!

I will be giving out a few choices which i own (mind you i have somewhere near 30-40 bottles of cologne, insane yes but i'm a cologne-addict, i like to smell good and smell good things.. like puss... :o)

Number 20 on my list - Armani Aqua Di Gio - perfect for my casual use
Number 19 on my list - Burberry touch - Perfect for walking around orchard rd
Number 18 on my list - Gucci Envy - For the men in suits
Number 17 on my list - Bvlgari Black - For close contact situations, where you interact with people in which requis you to be physically close to them
Number 16 on my list - Platinum Egoiste by CHANEL - mmmhmm

Don't ask me while i'm not giving out any more, because i don't wanna reveal my panty droppers :D, also, they are expensive and virtually... impossible to find in singapore and also i don't want other guys to wear it.Selfish yeah i know but sorry, they are my signature scents and they drive women crazy

so if you really want to know, send me a PM regarding it, tell me what you like (musky,smoky,sweet,woody,mossy... etc etc)
I will be more then willing to help.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ - NEVER EVER TELL OTHERS WHAT COLOGNE YOU ARE WEARING, JUST TELL THEM YOU LIKE IT? IF YES, SAY THANK YOU AND MOVE ON. SURELY YOU DON'T WANT GUYS IN YOUR OFFICE FOLLOWING YOU AND START WEARING THE SAME THING, YOU WILL BE PISSED

[pale_dick]

Good tips on cologne from TS. Cologne can be a great sidekick if use properly. Well if u guys dont like to wear cologne or find it a hassle to buy 1 there is still hope. The first priority would be is BECOMING THE MAN!

Do I mean rock hard abs and rippling muscles? That is not what women find sexy [it's a contributing factor, but not the core].

A type of PERSONALITY is what women are looking for. Someone they can depend on (has backbone), someone who will be successful (has ambition), and someone who is decisive (has charge). Nice guys have no backbone because they think women are frail things that will break in confrontation; nice guys reveal no ambition because they fear being seen as arrogant to women, nice guys are afraid to be decisive for fear of being seen as 'oppressive'.)

So what should you do?
Just be a Man lor!
There is no need to reprogram yourself. You will have the interests you have, the hobbies you have, the body you have, but you can easily become a MAN. It is all simply in the way how you think. Yeah you heard it right JUST THINK. But what is a Man?

A Man is a guy who is not scared of his testosterone!
A Man follows the passion in his life. Passion of women? Of course not. A Man has goals and desires that goes above that of chasing women. After childhood, there are TRUE winners and losers in life. A Man desires to be the winner. A Man WANTS to win in what he does. Because of his passion, a Man can sometimes come off as arrogant and egotistical. He does not apologize for his desires.

Women are to enhance your life, not to be your life. So to the Nice Guy, stop
placing your happiness on getting a girlfriend. To the Jerk, quit wasting your life on seduction. Don't SPEND your time chasing women, INVEST it by putting it into your own interests and desires, thus the whole of your life.

When you do this, all of a sudden you have what every woman wants: Ambition, charge, decisiveness, backbone, kindness, stableness, and confidence.

A Man has character and deep convictions. He has PASSION in life about something. It is this passion that transforms his life, gives him confidence, and gives him joy. It is this PASSION that will give you that right mindset for you to have the goals and dreams that goes beyond women.
Remember, if you cannot command respect, you cannot attract love. If you cannot be respected, women will ignore you and/or abuse you.

A Man takes action!
Nice Guys think, "Does she like me? How do I get her to like me?" A MAN thinks, "Should I like her? Should I go for her?" The Man doesn't think about the girl's interest until they're dating. The Man looks at all the girls and TAKES what he wants.

A Man focuses on his dreams!
You must have passion for something in your life, something you even want to do for the rest of your life.

A Man does not apologize for his testosterone, for his desires.
Would a WOMAN apologize for her feminine acts? So why should YOU apologize for your masculinity?

A man tries to always win in what he does.
Men build towers; women build webs. If you aren't constructing your tower or aren't even planning it, why should she cast her web at you? If you want worthy women, you, yourself, must strive to become worthy.

A man has deep convictions that allows him to be a possible leader.
This is crucial because one day you will become the leader of your own household. Yes, we talk of 50/50, of everything being equal, but Nature's laws surpass that of Humans. If you were a woman, would YOU want a Nice Guy to be in charge of your household? Or would you want A MAN?

A man seeks to solve problems rather than to place blame.
If there is a problem, you solve it. You do not blame anyone or anything. You take full responsibility for your actions and you learn from them. A woman naturally wants a guy who deals with problems, not pass them along.

A man never loses his passion, for that would be the death of his soul.
Women always try to change the Jerk but never the Nice Guy. Why? Because a Man is STRENGTH and a Jerk displays strength on some level. Nice Guys never do.

A man never feels that he has to prove himself to anyone.
Flowers, candy, poetry all can be good additions to a relationship, but so many nice guys use them to BUY the relationship as if they must prove themselves. They flood the poor woman with gifts to show that they mean it.
So away with those flowers, those dead plants as tokens of affection.
Away with the chocolate, the candy, and sweets, those sugary pursuits to purchase love.
Away with the poetry, those rotten verses of declarations of love.
Away with the quest to prove YOURSELF and let her prove HERSELF to you for YOU arethe Don Juan.
Be a Man! And with it, you will advance in your career, your social life, and even your dealings with women. Men are very rare these days so if you become one, you will be in HIGH demand. Your career will become better as people look to you as a leader. Life will re-develop before your eyes for you will obtain the most single quality that men, not trophy husbands, not nice guys, not players, but men have a monopoly on:
Respect.

Follow all these points closely and soon you will be on your way to becoming the MAN.
to be continue......

[abugga]

I agree with bro pale_dick. away with the bootlicking guys, please, to win a woman, you have to risk losing her as well. stand up for yourself, she says wow this dress is nice, if it really suits her, compliment her on her choice, if you really think nonono this is not for her, stand up for your opinions, tell her what you think and what should work for her, she will give you credit and respect for that.

Rmb, it's the cat-string theory, what seems impossible for her to get is what she MUST get. that thing she deems as impossible to get should be you. you gotta let her know you the type of man that wherever you go you can find a pretty ass.

Just a little info of myself which i still find it amusing to date - women always think that i'm the sort of guy that flunks his modules, the type that her daddy won't let her go out with because i'm a thug. They think i'm constantly surrounded by other women.. hahahaha, i give off the vibe that i'm attached all the time, i don't know why but that makes them come to me and when they learn i'm single, they will go " sure or not! don't lie! " " i don't believe you " " wow, i'm surprised you don't have one " while their facial expressions clearly state they are pleasantly surprised. :cool: i guess i do have a bad boy image... but er... i'm not :D

[tigerprawn]

TS, great thread. And very good pointers. I see a lot of bros also posted their good pointers to share around.

I just want to humbly add that your attitude in executing all these pointers is crucial. If you act like an asshole or like you are god's gift to women, then chances are you will turn people off instead.

Confidence is crucial but over-confidence will work negatively. Yes, girls are attracted by confident guys who make them feel safe and secure and comfortable. But real confidence exudes from within silently; you do not need to boast or brag or act arrogant or pompous to attempt to "display" confidence. Of course, this is easier said than done, and takes TIME to master. But if you follow the correct path, eventually you will slowly grow into this man you want to become.

Remember, wanting to be, the desire to become is as important, if not more, than talent itself.

[abugga]

Yes bro tigerprawn, i started this thread to help give advice on how to change for a better lifestyle, how to feel good about one self despite any physical or character flaw. by no means am i encouraging people to become arrogant.

confidence and arrogance is closely related by two worlds closely separated by a thin line. Don't overdo it people! It's like having a already very pretty lady but she's trying too hard to act even prettier and i'm pretty sure you guys will get turned off as well. Feel good have that confidence but be humble as well

[abugga]

Case Study

1. Smile when you walk into an area with your target there with her friends.Approach the group withing a few seconds. Do not hesitate—approach instantly.

2. Say a conversation opener - "Hey, looks like the party's over here." say that to her friends and then turn to your target and say something like if i weren't gay you'd so be mine, or compliment her on her dress etc etc be creative.

3. The opener line said should open the group, not just the target. When talking, ignore the target for the most part. If there are men in the group, focus your attention on the men.

4. Say something to make your target frown by teasing her in a bad way. Tell her, "Its so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh." Then get her friends to notice and laugh about it.

5. Convey personality to the entire group. Do this by using stories, magic, anecdotes, and humor. Try not to talk about work and stuff. Pay particular attention to the men and the less attractive women. During this time, the target will notice that you are the center of attention

6. Tease the target again if appropriate. If she wants to look at the photos you guys taken together, for example, say, "Oh my god, she's so attention seeking. How do you guys tahan her?"

7. Ask the group, "So, how does everyone know each other?" If the target is with one of the guys, find out how long they've been together. If its a serious
relationship, eject politely by saying, "Pleasure meeting you." i never really liked to hook up with married or attached women. but that's my view.

8. If she is not spoken for, say to the group, "I've sort of been neglecting your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?" They always say, "Uh, sure. If its okay with her." If you've executed the preceding steps correctly, she will agree.

9. Isolate her from the group by telling her you want to show her something cool. Take her to sit with you nearby. As you lead her through the crowd, do a test by holding her hand. If she squeezes back, its on. Start looking for other Indications Of Interests.

10. Sit with her and perform a magic trick, a psychology test, or any other demonstration that will fascinate and intrigue her. for me i always ask the bar for a set of cards to perform some tricks.

11. Tell her, "Beauty is common but what's rare is a great energy and outlook on life. Tell me, what do you have inside that would make me want to know you as more than a mere face in the crowd?" If she begins to list qualities, this is a positive indicator she is into you.

12. Stop talking. Does she reinitiate the chat with a question that begins with
the word "So?" If she does, you've now seen three IOIs and can.... :D:D

13. Kiss her baby! Say, out of the blue, "Would you like to kiss me?" she has 3 answers, Yes (very rare) - kiss her, maybe - say let me see and then kiss her, no - i said i wasn't even planning on kissing you *inserts innocent face*:), you just looked like you were thinking of something. If the setting or circumstances aren't conducive to physical intimacy, then give yourself a time constraint by saying, "I have to go, but we should continue this." Then get her to give you her number, do not give her your number.

Also take note, never ever approach a girl from behind. And also make her feel comfortable through body language. Don't fold your arms when talking to her, don't stand as if you are in marikita posture, relax. And make sure you don't tower over her, that will make her feel intidimated. Always come in at an angle so you don't look scary to her.

[Max77]

I simplified mine as below:

First identify what's needed inorder to attract, seduce and to get her

Second attain those aspects in the shortest possible time

Third ask yourself whether she's worth further investment of your time, money and feelings

Practice each point individually even on gals that don't interest you, it may come in handy as you grow older...

[pussylicious12345]

Great discussion on how to boost up confidence and improve self esteem. But these do not seemed to be lifestyle tips, as indicated by the title. I will offer a few no-brainer lifestyle tips:

quit smoking, cut down on drinking and start exercising....u will start to feel a change for the better in your life!

[abugga]

Great discussion on how to boost up confidence and improve self esteem. But these do not seemed to be lifestyle tips, as indicated by the title. I will offer a few no-brainer lifestyle tips:

quit smoking, cut down on drinking and start exercising....u will start to feel a change for the better in your life!

I feel that it is lifestyle related as my tips on boosting up confidence and self esteem does not just apply in one's love life, it applies in all aspects of life, be it work or social. Just as i offer some tips on that i also throw in some side tips as to how to present yourself and make yourself look good. I always tell women that if a man cannot take care of himself physically and make himself look good, no one will. They couldn't agree more.

As much as i hate to say it (no offense to anyone), in order to have someone to even try to know your character, especially if that someone is a lady, you first have to attract her with your physical traits, it's just like having an extra edge? i'm not trying to say one must be a good looking handsome thug but at least look sharp, clean, well taken care of and have a good dress sense.

Just my 2cts

[timeoftime]

very well written thread .
thumbs up !!

[abugga]

So anyone? any related topics to bring up for a discussion today?

Oh well monday blues~:o

[jacky43]

Yes it is Monday, and we are looking forward to Feb holidays. Haha! Lets see, this country is still chasing after the 5Cs, right? That was last eve S Talking.

Many young modern couples, after this 5Cs thing, chick loves a man who pursue $. Look not really important, this is the concept of what build a man in this country. Trust me, i have seen few times at Sim Lim Sq, below average looking man with model GF wives. Probably the guys are loaded with $.

Other than the 5Cs? I guess many parents will hope the best for their childrens. This is howcome, this country selling children stuffs make tons of $. Nobody mention in last eve talk show, i was totally disspointed.

Include a Q to the Senator, why they are people which cannot afford a roof over their heads. He said that was not the topic, not fair to question him, he is not in charged of housing.

[abugga]

Yes it is Monday, and we are looking forward to Feb holidays. Haha! Lets see, this country is still chasing after the 5Cs, right? That was last eve S Talking.

Many young modern couples, after this 5Cs thing, chick loves a man who pursue $. Look not really important, this is the concept of what build a man in this country. Trust me, i have seen few times at Sim Lim Sq, below average looking man with model GF wives. Probably the guys are loaded with $.

Other than the 5Cs? I guess many parents will hope the best for their childrens. This is howcome, this country selling children stuffs make tons of $. Nobody mention in last eve talk show, i was totally disspointed.

Include a Q to the Senator, why they are people which cannot afford a roof over their heads. He said that was not the topic, not fair to question him, he is not in charged of housing.

Hey bro i know how you feel... but yeah men loaded with cash attract gold diggers, who wants that? I myself personally... even if i am loaded (i'm not), i feel that i want to attract women based on my funkiness, my personality and lastly because they feel amazing/good being with me. That's how i roll knaw wad i'm sayin'? hahaha ;) Anyway, chill, i came up with a theory once, that women often want to go out with rich men because rich men appear to be more spontaneous, fun to them because they have the money. Women don't want a man with money because they love money, they just know that with more money they can have more FUN. Women don't desire popular/famous men because they want to have a high social status, they simply know that having higher status means that they'll have access to even more FUN. Women are not attracted to men in power because they want to be powerful, they just know that with power they'll be allowed to have as much FUN as they want to.
Notice the trend here?

At the end of the day, all that women really want more than anything else is to have fun and be shown a good time. This is particularly true when it comes to beautiful women, who do not need to worry about "being accepted" or insecurities. They quite simply don't have anything more important to do than focus on making sure that their lives are like one big vacation. I'm not just talking about the party girls either; even highly motivated career women want to let their hair down at the end of the day and carelessly enjoy life.

It is for this reason why women are NOT attracted to men who come off as "average". If you are one of the millions of men who would during a conversation refer to yourself as "just an average guy", then you are having problems with women. Right?

Of course, because you are simply being too normal to be any fun. Women want men that have a sense of adventure and an element of danger about them (business men have this aura), not the guys who like to play it safe. The last thing a woman wants to hear come out of a man's mouth is "I'm just your average guy...", they want to hear stuff like "You've never met anyone like me before" and then be shown why that statement is true.

Hot women have the power of choice - to be selective - because men are constantly attempting to engage them in conversation. When your competition is that stiff, you need to rise above the rest and stand out, or you will be forgotten before the sun rises the next day, even if you did manage to get her number. Those of you wondering why they always blow you off when you call, now you know the answer; you were simply forgettable.

Don't take it personal. You aren't being determined to be so insignificant to these women because there is something wrong with you or that you are making any kind of huge mistake. It is happening to you because of something that you are NOT doing, and that something is setting yourself apart from the vast number of other men out there.

"Fitting in" is definitely not something you want to do if you want top-notch girlfriends.

You probably aren't a boring person, and those who DO hang around you probably have a good time in your company, but when you are out meeting new women how are they going to know that? It is true that women are more socially proficient than men by nature, but they can't read your mind. If you want to avoid being labeled as "just another average, boring guy" you are going to have to do something about it. If not, you will always be thrown into the bargain bin with all of the other men who failed to see the point.

That point being; women want to have FUN (which I already expressed earlier), and a normal guy (otherwise known as a boring guy) just can't provide them with that.

I'm not saying that you should throw a mohawk on your head and wear a spiked leather jacket, or that you need to get a custom paint job on your car that changes colors as people pass by (very lame, FYI). Those extremes are things that men with zero game use in an attempt to lure in women because they need material things to compensate for their overall lack of game or self esteem. What you need to be doing is focusing on making yourself BE an interesting person that is different than the rest, not just someone who either looks interesting or owns cool stuff. You must also learn how to present that to women in a fashion that can be conveyed through a normal conversation very quickly. There really is no point in being a fun, adventurous guy when you don't know how to properly show the women that you desire those character traits.

The first impression is very important, and it is during that small window of time that you must show a woman why she will have FUN if she hangs around you, and you aren't like all of the other losers she's already shot down that night.

I hope i don't offend anyone :)

[pale_dick]

Hmm in the previous thread TS talks about rich men getting all the gold diggers haha. Well the girls can dig gold from my nose (joking). Now let me show you the less painful way of dealing with beautiful women.:p

First Pointer: Don’t treat beautiful women like they are above you

Men are often behaving like ass kissers because they are afraid that a woman might get upset and leave, and the fact is that by acting this way, a woman is MORE likely to leave. It's one of those paradoxes that's a self-fulfilling prophecy. A woman whines, and the man say's, "Oh, no. I need to kiss her ass or she might leave. Even though she's being ridiculous, I have to go along with it..." This is bad for her, for you, and for the relationship between you. Learn to never let a woman act like a brat without you calling her on it.

The solution is to NOT kiss ass or do things for them like everyone else. Be different. Expect them to pull their own weight, call them on all of their issues and messed up behaviors just like you would a guy friend or family member (use the same "You're my friend and I'm saying this for your benefit" tone that you'd use with a friend) tease.

An average looking man that takes good care of himself and makes enough money to live comfortably who is cocky, direct, challenging, confident, funny, and in control and challenges her constantly and never kisses her ass EVER - will be FAR more fulfilling to a beautiful woman than the other types. This difference is not only interesting to her; it’s more challenging as well.

Second Pointer: Don't be fazed by her beauty

Women can tell right away if a man has chosen her by reading his eyes or eye contact and his body language, not to mention the fact that most guys make their interest obvious through their behavior and also by the drool hanging from their mouths.

Girls who are exceptionally attractive automatically put 99% of the guys they meet or see into this huge category of male worshippers.

But when a man comes along that isn't fazed by her beauty and DOES NOT CHOOSE her immediately because she looks good in some tight jeans, guess what happens? She starts to wonder, "Why doesn't this guy just automatically choose me because I look good like all the rest"?
Now she is curious. She doesn't know anything about you (assuming you play it cool and remain mysterious). You become a puzzle that she has to solve.

She now becomes extremely insecure because her self-esteem is based on her looks and you don't seem to be fazed by that at all. In her mind, she now has to "win you over" and gain your approval that she is indeed "gorgeous". Then her little world will be okay again.

So what happens next? She starts to CHASE YOU. You have now become a prize she "has" to win and a puzzle she has to "solve".

The great thing about this technique is that the better looking the chick, the better it works. Isn't that great? Remember, the higher you are, the harder you fall. When you knock her off of that pedestal, she WILL fall hard. Fall hard for YOU, that is. If you’re getting great eye contact and any other choosing signs at this point, let the game begin.

A second opinion on the tip above
Playing hard to get works on most women, but remember that if a woman never liked you in the first place, acting more or less “distant” doesn’t really make a difference. She won’t chase you just because you play “hard to get”. Remember, attraction is not a choice.

[pale_dick]

Beautiful women are nothing special, just lucky. The truth is that a lot of pretty women let their looks do all the work for them in life and beneath those great genes they are actually spoiled, under-developed children. Don’t let good genetics impress you, instead make her WORK for your stamp of
approval! You must rewire your mental circuitry so that instead of trying to impress her, your approach is to see whether she meets YOUR expectations.

Women WANT to be appreciated for what they are, not desired as a way for you to get your cock in them and be happy. When they see you appreciating them as WOMEN, as ends in themselves and not means to an end, they will become more attracted to you.

When dealing with beautiful women, be playful and tease them a lot Punching them on the shoulder lightly or kidding them about small stuff. That's how interaction and conversation should be. Challenge women, tease them and show them a good time and you won't be disappointed! Never be a doormat around them and you'll be fine! Treat a beautiful woman like she’s that young school girl that you remember. It sounds crazy, but it actually works. Be cocky, confident and funny at the same time.

Being cocky and funny does several great things for you. It shows that:
- You are not a pushover.
- You place a high value on yourself and your time.
- You are comfortable around beautiful women.
- You have a great sense of humor and like to have fun.
- You are not needy.
- Most importantly, it screens out the psycho-bitches who can't laugh at hemselves.

Between the ages of 5 and 20, women did not suddenly become ‘mysterious’ or ‘bizarre’. She just got more estrogen. How you deal with 5 year old girls is how you deal with 25 year old beautiful women.

[pale_dick]

When dealing with fine women who are accustomed to constant male attention, you have to realize that their screening process is different from yours. These chicks get hit on everyday by tons of dudes. She has the power to be selective and she does not hesitate to use it. Beautiful women like to use guys to make them do favors for her. Don’t fall for these tricks.

HER: Can you put this in the trash for me?

CHUMP: Oh, of course! Do you need anything else?

YOU: No! Ha ha! Just kidding. Sure I can, but what's in it for me?

HER: Could you do me a big favor?

CHUMP: Your wish is my command!

YOU: I don’t know (pause and look her up and down) Ain’t nothing for free in this world, honey. You gots to earn favors!

HER: Are you a player or something?

CHUMP: (nervous and sweating) Uhh.. uhh..no?

YOU: Oh totally, all the ladies want a piece of me. Usually my pimp status is more obvious, but I left my fur coat and gold chains at home. You should come over to my place later on and I'll show them to you. (wink) So anyways like I was sayin’.. (Keep talking as if she never interrupted you)

Notice how the chump fails her tests and lets her control his mind state. See how the woman makes little tests to separate the chumps from the champs? She wants to see if she can throw off your game.

Think of it this way. If you do women favors, ask them lots of questions and kiss their asses, then they don't have to earn the pleasure of your interaction. You are giving your attention away free of charge, and your attention becomes CHEAP! You are subliminally telling her that you don't value yourself enough to let your true personality shine. Instead you have to manipulate her with your favors and ass-kissing to win her good graces. This is repulsive behavior!

Remember, as long as you tease her in a way that she has no choice but to laugh. It makes her anticipate what you are going to say next. She’ll think, "Why hasn't he told me that I am beautiful yet? And where is my drink?" It's so much fun to make them wonder!

So many people get this technique wrong. They end up insulting women and come off like assholes. The key to being cocky and funny is to understand that it is meant to tease and entice, not insult! You must master the fine art of flirting! The key is to actually be funny!

[abugga]

Ah... thursday, friday tmr!

Here is some tips for today...

Conversation Tips
For those that don't know, simply put kino means the art of flirting by touch. On with the tip : Whenever you are with a girl and her hair is falling in her face, gently use your index finger to "pull" the hair back and place it behind her ear. When you do this rub your finger down behind her ear all the way down to her ear lobe. Girls respond very well to this and it seems to have a comforting/soothing effect on them... they love it. You can do this as often as you like and once a particular girl becomes accustomed to you doing it to them they will even look forward to you doing it. As an added bonus you can say something nice to them or give them a good compliment while you do it, which will magnify the effect.

How to not fall into the "Just Friends" cock n' bull
Whenever a girl that you are talking to brings up the subject of her ex-boyfriend, you've got to immediately change the subject every time she does... the last thing you want is for her to think you are a "shoulder to cry on". If you learn that she had just recently gotten out of a long-term relationship it's kind of a sticky situation... you can most likely get her to want you in terms of sex/messing around... but after a relationship that lasted that long its too soon to pressure her into a relationship, it could possibly scare her off. The best thing might be to first get her in a playful mood or at least happy (and most importantly not thinking about her ex and realizing how much fun she is having without him) then explain to her that you want her to be your girl but you don't want to rush anything... tell her that you'll move at her pace and if she wants you to back off a little and slow down all she has to do is say so and you will... then tell her that you don't like playing games and if she wants to be your girl she going to have to tell you.

Approaching Groups
While you are talking to a group of girls, always remember to flirt with ALL of them, even the ones that you don't find attractive. This will put them into "competitive mode", in which all of the women will begin to try to win your affection because of your display of interest in each of them. Once this is accomplished you will be able to have your pick out of any of them, because the woman you choose will feel like she is the "winner". Every girl wishes to feel like she is the best looking in her group, and if you help her achieve this goal, you will become her player in shining armor :)

[pale_dick]

BECOMING A KING

How do you become a king? What is that you need to do to succeed
with women? How do you let a woman choose you over all the other
guys that come to her? What makes you stand out? Do you have to be rich or tall or really good looking or something to be a king?

No.

Being a king has nothing to do with any of that. Being a king is about power.
Women are attracted to men who exude power and dominance. It is a natural biological and psychological thing. So what are the steps to becoming that king?

The first step toward becoming a king is to recognize that as a king, NO ONE is above you. Everyone whom you do not see when you stand alone in the mirror is beneath you. Secondly, to be a king, you must have a kingdom. So what is your kingdom? Your kingdom is your life and all aspects of it. That includes your personal relationships, career, finances, interests like sports, or
anything that has to do with you directly.

What this means is that as a king, your first job is to build a great kingdom which means building a great life. In other words, your FIRST focus should be on improving every aspect of your life and always looking to find things or people that will help to enrich it and make it better and more enjoyable. Also, stop caring about anything that doesn't deal with you and your kingdom (life).

So stop worrying about the guy you see that drives a flashy car and is a jerk and seems to "get all the girls". Why cares about what he's doing or what he has? He doesn't give two shits about you or your life and what he does can't limit you from getting what you want.

The only person who can limit you is YOU. All great athletes from Michael Jordan on down have this attitude. This is the attitude that separates winners from losers in life. So fuck him and his chicks. That is HIS kingdom. Focus on YOUR own kingdom so that it can grow.

Third, a king puts his own interests and that of his kingdom first and elevates no one or nothing above that. Fourth, if a woman wishes to become a princess or a queen or a servant within his kingdom he will treat her as a subject (that doesn't mean disrespectfully) who will recognize his authority as the master of his domain.

He will NEVER tolerate disrespect or rebellion within his kingdom and if a subject proves to be too much trouble he will IMMEDIATELY exile them from his kingdom and elevate another subject in her place.

Fifth, a good king knows that he is worthy of the best: The best food, the best drinks, the best entertainment, the best clothes, the best homes, the best cars, and also the best women. Now if you take just these five attributes or characteristics of a king and make them a part of your attitude and outlook concerning women and life, then you will see dramatic results.

If you stand strong and be a true man and a king in every aspect of your life, you will notice many changes. You will automatically walk more confidently and with a sense of purpose and power so that when you enter a room you will begin to notice people taking notice of you (including women).

You will begin to treat your time like it is money and only invest it on things and people that benefit you and not waste your time because it is precious and irreplaceable. You will begin to care much less about trivial things like worrying about what someone else is doing and focus on important things that directly affect you and your life.

You will begin to shape your life according to your own will and you will discover that you have much more power than you ever imagined. You will also begin to take an active interest in your health and well-being and maybe
change your diet or workout in order to improve this area of your kingdom.
You will begin to ask less questions and figure out more shit out on your own because now you have limited your dependence on other people.

In regards to women, if you are a king, that means that you are HIGHER UP THAN ANY WOMAN no matter how much of a queen or princess she thinks she is or how many guys treat her as such.

I think this is the real secret and advantage of the jerk over the nice guy in that the jerk acts much more like the kingly traits I've mentioned and the nice guys and chumps place themselves mentally below this drop dead gorgeous princess and accept a lower status.

[Dismyname]

Appreciate the good suggestions put up by both TS and other contributers like pale_dick. =)

[hwq123]

Applause and ovation for TS abuggalibahbahblacksheep and Bro pale_dick-from-too-much-sex for imparting upon us mortals these great values and enhancements upon our measly lives! Thou shalt be blessed for having such kindred souls!

okok. anyway, i noticed the lack of attention on this thread(despite it being so great!) and also feedback and i have deduced that maybe male ego is at fault! totally no offense but many many many MANY guys have egos so high up their asses that they diss and frown upon the art of pick-up(i use this word as this thread is littered with pickup techniques: DHV,Push-Pull,3 sec rule, kino etc etc :D).

These guys say that getting girls need no learning and they’re good enough as they are while ‘waiting for the perfect one to come’. They laugh at the losers who resort to learning skills to approach strangers. When asked why don’t they approach these strangers since they deem themselves to ‘having the right stuff’, they start saying that the girl they see at the corner of the MRT is ‘not gonna be attracted to them anyway’ or ‘not my type’ , and thats why they won’t do the approach.

The fact is, every guy have had times where they see this amazing girl by the sidewalk with whom they have/share a ‘love-at-first-sight’ moment. Alas, the lack of balls and game stops him from creating his own fairy tale and instead causes him to slide further down the slippery slope of self-deprecation.

I personally feel self-improvement is a lesson that should go on for a life time and of course, 'Pick-up' is an essential skill for the modern men and all guys out there should pull themselves up from their own pool of derogatory sludge, infuse themselves with some self-confidence, throw their useless egos away and learn the game. I mean,Dude, wouldn’t you love having THAT girl’s contact in your phonebook?

Hahahahaha sorry , couldn't resist typing out those chunks up there. Once again, kudos to the great thread TS/contributors!

Ps. Bro pale_skin, awesome dp! (your awesome 'king' analogy is also awesome beyond words)

[SGDreamchaser]

boss shld pin this up. seriously.

my humble suggestion, can we have some more case study? like what if its a social D&D? the girl from the other department from another table? once seated, we make eye contact, then what? assuming I've seen her around in the printer room before. and nv had the chance to talk?

my humble 2 points to anyone who can make as many case studies as possible.

[abugga]

Wow, didn't expect to see this thread being revived. :D ok i'll try to come up with a case study for social settings like D&Ds no problem, give me some time :)
cheers

[abugga]

Here goes my take on social settings.......

first,in a social setting, body language is important.. so remember these few pointers

1. Plant Yourself When Standing Still

Put your feet slightly wider apart than is natural, don't shift your weight. Notice how your feet feel planted. You can stay like this for long periods of time. This is how martial artists stand, it is a solid base.

2. Don't Fidget, Fiddle, Or Touch Your Face

What do you normally do with your hands? Twitching and fidgeting is very unattractive, look around and see it in other people. It makes you look nervous. Keep your hands by your sides. Place the thump on the index and middle fingers, this removes the natural need for the fingers to constantly be doing something.

3. Don't Look Down

Keep your head up. If you need to look away, look up, never look down, it's a sign of weakness and also looks unattractive. You can observe this in others. Looking down even has been proven to have a bad effect on your mental state.

4. Make Slow Head Movements

High status males everywhere, on film, in business, and in your social circle have certain things in common. One of which is slow, smooth movements. Look around slowly and smoothly, don't dart around and jolt your head around like you have been drinking espressos all day long. Think smooth, think James Bond. James Bond has very attractive body language, and smoothness and lack of fidgety movements are the main elements.

5. Walk Slowly And Smoothly

This is more high-status behaviour. By being smooth and comfortable you give off a sense of quiet confidence. You stand out from the people rushing around. In a bar or club, slow it down even more, you will stand out, in a good way.

6. Hold Your Drink By Your Side

When you have a drink, hold it by your side. It is a blocking action to hold a drink in front of your chest.

Do these things and you will make a better first impression and stand out from the other men in a room.

I generally recommend watching movies with actors like Tom Cruise,Brad Pitt or George Clooney in it, watch and observe they way they carry themselves, their body language

Next, looking for a chance.....

We all know that eye contact is important, but something funny happens when we make eye contact with another person...

We become COMPELLED to respond to them in some fashion!

When it comes to women, you can use eye contact to find out if she's open to meeting you. In fact, in a way, she'll be opening YOU!

So here's what you do...

The next time you see a woman you want to meet, LOCK your eyes on her!

Seriously, just stare at her eyes, even if she's not looking at you.

When people are out and about, they will usually look around to keep aware of their surroundings. This is an unconscious thing we all do. Eventually, the woman you're locking onto will look around to scan the area.

When she comes to you, her eyes will inevitably meet yours, and you'll be locked in eye contact.

When that happens, simply SMILE at her.

If she smiles back, guess what?

She's more than likely to be OPEN TO YOU MEETING HER!

If she doesn't, then move on to someone who is.

And when she does smile back, say "Hi!" And if she responds - you're in! Go right up to her and start talking

remember this has to be done when the lighting is high enough that she can actually SEE you!).

Often times, after you smile, the girl herself will say "Hi!" and then the rest is easy.

Like it or not, it is men who generally have to make the first move in the human mating ritual. Some men feel that this is unfair and may argue that they have to do all the work while women merely stand there, wait for the approaching males and take their pick. They can then choose to either allow men the privilege of a little time in their company or simply reject them. I see that as looking at things from a negative viewpoint.

Another way for a man to look at things is that it puts you in the position of power. Yes, that’s right, you are the one calling the shots. Why? Well, put yourself in a woman’s position for a moment. Imagine that the girl of your dreams was just across the room, but you were prevented from approaching them by social protocol. As much as you wanted to, you could only send discreet signals to this girl and hope that she was not too shy to approach you. If she did not approach, for whatever reason, you would never know why not. Was she shy, did she not pick up your signals or was she simply not interested?

This is not a powerful position to be in and, take it from me, it can be a very frustrating one. You are the lucky ones, guys. You hold all the cards. You are the hunter and can choose your prey rather than wait forever for the approach to come. Your destiny is in your own hands. You can make your choice and move forward for the approach. This is natural. It is what is expected of you by society. It is what women want. Count your blessings – you are in control.

Even if you do get turned down, at least you are out of your misery and can move on. I know women who have waited months, even years, for an approach that they thought was imminent, before giving up.

Many men suffer nightmares about actually approaching a girl. This is understandable in some respects, I suppose. You are in the spotlight at these times and are expected to get out there and perform. But it is not all bad.

:o braindead from projects i can't think good now but yeah that's the general main frame

[abugga]

okok. anyway, i noticed the lack of attention on this thread(despite it being so great!) and also feedback and i have deduced that maybe male ego is at fault! totally no offense but many many many MANY guys have egos so high up their asses that they diss and frown upon the art of pick-up(i use this word as this thread is littered with pickup techniques: DHV,Push-Pull,3 sec rule, kino etc etc :D).

Glad to see another brother in this society with the same thinking

[abugga]

Quote of the day: Women are drawn to Men in Demand. They are not drawn to men who are rich, powerful, famous, tall or good looking, it just happens so because these are the men in demand.

[naturegreen]

my humble suggestion, can we have some more case study? like what if its a social D&D? the girl from the other department from another table? once seated, we make eye contact, then what? assuming I've seen her around in the printer room before. and nv had the chance to talk?

my humble 2 points to anyone who can make as many case studies as possible.

Wa seh.. case study somemore.... Haha...:p . So far, for this example: I don't think it's hard and does not require much efforts. It only takes you guts. I was just like this in the past. Sitting quietly and shyly at D&D most of the time. Haha but now I go rowdy from table to table to take pictures or chat with friends. But what's most importantly is: Who is she sitting with? Her companions.

There was once this DND where 8 girls were seated with 2 guys. I happen to know just 1 guy and since we brought liquor secretly (Our DND restricted to 1 pax 1 glass of beer only). I brought 2 glasses over to drink with the guy. Then kay siao, smile at the girl. She also smiled back. So of course I brought another glass over and then invited her for a drink. Heng she obliged else very malu. I think in such events, most of the ladies loosen up and become more friendly. Even my female boss who is always so stern also bottoms up with me when I cheers with her. :p

Does that make me earn your 2 humble points? Hehe just kidding. Think you upped mine before already.

Great efforts in continuing this thread!

[pale_dick]

Thanks TS for starting this lifestyle thread n most of all to all bros in sbf for reading. If u are lost, down, feeling depress or out of luck feel free to come back to this thread and read all the tips given by Ts n me. Hopefully my tips can inspire all bros to be better or even successful in their lives.

[pale_dick]

Self Improvement
Self-improvement is the focal point of any man’s existence. It shouldn’t be women, or wealth, or pleasure – these things should come as a result of your life accomplishments. The best thing about life is that we can transform ourselves into what we want to be, through sheer force of will. Here is my system for goal-oriented self-improvement, based on what I’ve read and experienced firsthand. It’s very important to write down what you want to accomplish.
1. General Goals
I like to start out by writing several very general, non-specific goals. “I want to be stronger” “I want to be more knowledgeable” “I want to be financially stable”, etc.
2. SMART GOALS
Then, I re-write these goals using the SMART principle. SMART equaling:
Specific ( instead of simply “I want to get stronger”, try “I want to add strength to my arms, chest, back, and legs”)
Measurable – your goal should be quantitative. (“I want to add 20 lbs to my incline bench press”, or “I want to gain 15 lbs without raising my body fat”)
Attainable – know your limitations. A goal is worthless if there is no chance of actually reaching it. Remember, though, it is better err on the side of difficulty, rather than giving yourself an effortless goal. Push yourself.
Realistic – pretty much the same as attainable.
Time-Oriented – all goals must be set in a specific time period. This should be tied in with attainability and realism.

MOTIVATION

It’s rather simple to write down what you want to accomplish; it’s a much greater chore to actually do it. Most people fail. Perhaps the very best question that you can memorize and repeat, over and over, is,

"What is the most valuable use of my time right now?"

Ask yourself that question all day, over and over again. If you find yourself sitting on your couch wasting time, ask yourself:

"What is the most valuable use of my time right now?"

Whatever your answer is, make sure that you are doing it. It’s important to realize that, as human beings, we have inherently conflicting desires. Why can’t people lose weight when they really, really, really want to? There’s no question about their desire to lose weight, but they still can’t do it.

It is because they have other, stronger desires – “the desire to eat sweets” “the desire to be comfortable and sedentary” and most of all “the desire to feel pleasure/avoid pain” that override their desire for self-improvement.

Having knowledge of our conflicting desires can help us accomplish what is best for us. It’s important to look past the present. Learn to deny yourself easy comforts and temporary pleasures in favor of things that will make you a better person in the future.

My point is not to worry so much about confidence, mystery, being a challenge, ambition etc. Rather, focus on the things that produce those. Try to improve your sense of humor. Try to be more friendly. Try to improve your SOCIAL SKILLS. Get involved with people, learn how to be a leader. Become comfortable with interacting with other people.

Self Improvement in action

You will write a list of everything you don’t like about yourself. And you will write beside each, how you can improve it. Its all down to baby steps, it will not happen overnight, it may take weeks, months, even years, but if you never give up and have the determination to follow it, you will improve and gradually turn into this guy.

You will write down all you want to achieve in your life, bringing it from years down to what you want to achieve in the next few months, to what you want to achieve in the next week. And you will figure out how you can achieve each. You will set time aside for rest and relaxation. You will watch TV less, surf the internet less, waste time less and see every moment as vital for your growth, etc. Search for constant improvement.

Another method of self-improvement is through studying
-you become more intelligent
-you become quick witted
-you gain a dominance of words
-you can control other people with your mind.
-you become more valuable to your employer
-you have the ability to make more money.
-you have the ability to understand things about life that others cannot comprehend.
-you gain so much more confidence in your abilities because you have worked hard to create your life.
-you will have more success with women since your skills in conversation, creating rapport will all improve because your power with words will improve immensely.

[SGDreamchaser]

Bros Abuga,pale_dick & nature green. You guys are the real gems of SBF. Most people talk their experience, which is good. But it will be best to teach the experience. Im sorry I alr upped someone else cos i was reading their threads b4 this. But over the next 3 days, i will up your points. Not like it matters to you anyway but this would be the best I can think of sending my gratitude.

I just have some questions.

bro abugga, how does holding a can sideways help? maybe u mean diagonally? I feel thats abit awkward. Usually I hold it infront of my hips. Is that alright?

Also, out of 10 times, how many times do the women actually come to u to say hi after having eye contact? I cant help but feel that in sg, many women just walk to you. Or is it just the social group I'm hanging out with that really are that shy?

Bro Naturegreen, yupps i think i upp u b4 alr but nevertheless, thanks for sharing 1 way of bring bottles and further reenforcing the fact eye contact works. so yes u deserve my 2 pathetic points. haha.

bro pale_dick, what do u suggest to someone who needs improvement in his sense of fashion? I mean certain women like certain fashion. IN D&D, its okay to wear out of the ordinary maybe grey or white outfits. But what about just chilling out with friends? Where or what should I do to make improvements? Especially when I do not have any fashion sense? Tv doesn't really show much chilling out outfits that I like. And due to sg weather, its not practical to wear layers like the tv series how i met your mother theres this guy who wears a suit to every where he goes. so how to improve on dress sense?

3 cheers to this thread!

[messy_pasta]

Dear TS, I might recommend putting up the link for the rest of the players-to-be to devour the information. Might I also suggest a glossary and explanation of terms like IOIs, negging, etc, to benefit the uninformed.

Just a humble suggestion to improve the thread, and the game(or the lack of!) of Singaporean men. :)

[abugga]

bro abugga, how does holding a can sideways help? maybe u mean diagonally? I feel thats abit awkward. Usually I hold it infront of my hips. Is that alright?

Also, out of 10 times, how many times do the women actually come to u to say hi after having eye contact? I cant help but feel that in sg, many women just walk to you. Or is it just the social group I'm hanging out with that really are that shy?

bro pale_dick, what do u suggest to someone who needs improvement in his sense of fashion? I mean certain women like certain fashion. IN D&D, its okay to wear out of the ordinary maybe grey or white outfits. But what about just chilling out with friends? Where or what should I do to make improvements? Especially when I do not have any fashion sense? Tv doesn't really show much chilling out outfits that I like. And due to sg weather, its not practical to wear layers like the tv series how i met your mother theres this guy who wears a suit to every where he goes. so how to improve on dress sense?

3 cheers to this thread!

As to, it's the body language vibe when your talking to someone, i can't think of a good analogy but i'll try my best, let's say you are talking to this good looking young thing, but all she is holding something infront of her, say a drink (best to use it back to the case) right infront of her chest, it does sort of create a "barrier" between you and her, she may not know it you may not know it, but your body and subconscious does. as per se, i think holding it by your side - around waist level should be fine, so long as it isn't right infront of you.

As to fashion sense, it all depends on who you are? I'll quote the all famous quote, " you are what you wear ". if you are like me, a preppy boy, then dress a little more outrageous? haha, i mean to give you an idea, printed tees, polo tees from ralph lauren, try to have different colours on you, i don't mean like a peacock but yeah, like light blue shirt to go with black jeans and white shoes. white shirt to go with blue jeans and white shoes, teal coloured shirts to go with brown long pants and white shoes? haha white top/grey bottom/black or white shoes, i can go on and on, it's how you play with the colours to have them mesh nicely together

The jeans - get a good brand of jeans, levi's is good enough, you can go the extra mile on your wallet, go for Polo jeans or Armani Jeans depending on a person, get the best fitting ones, i recommend straight cut (AJ :P) as per below

http://static.letsbuyit.com/filer/images/uk/products/original/255/66/men-s-straight-cut-jeans-inseam-80-cm-25566707.jpeg

http://www.individualsole.com/2007/11/05/skull-jeans-50-10-black-selvedge-western-shirts/

having such jeans make you look smart and sharp, important aspect.

The shoe - Go with loafers or simple converse. i like canvas shoes.

The hair - Keep it clean, and occasionally condition it to keep it shiny and soft. keep it natural yet trimmed and neat.

Always smell nice and wear a mild cologne if you like. Brush your teeth and use mouth wash!

anyway most shirts out there can be matched well, it's just how you do it :) for me if i wanna feel like a bad boy maybe pop a long sleeved v neck white cotton shirt and on goes a leather jacker, black denim jeans and a pair of vans, that's about it. what's more importantly you feel good about what you wear, bring out that confidence, it further amplifies that effect.

you don't have to be a popstar to dress like one :) try to think why korean boy bands garner so much wooha from girls .. think about it ... look at the way they dress in their music videos, i don't mean the funny dance constumes but yeah... and trust me, women do pay alot of attention to how their men look, if you look good and have a great fashion sense, they will be proud to bring you out on the streets.

[benlyk]

abugga, i'd really love to be your friend :p:D you've got so much to learn.

[shitrules]

Wow. what an amazing thread... thanks for all the tips to TS and other contributers.
I have a question: When talking to a girl, many times I am so focused on the conversation and trying to respond intellegiently, that I completely forget to notice body language and to pick up her IOIs.

In other words, how do you guys "split your brain into two"?
Being able to engage in a conversation, yet notice all those subtle body language cues, and insert all the DHVs?

[pale_dick]

Your Appearance

Look Confident
Hold your shoulders back, straighten your back up, when you're walking, standing,sitting, approaching, and laughing. Holding your shoulders back amplifies your chest and shoulders, which makes you look more confident.

Different looks for different women.
Usually, women are looking for a long term relationship from men. Your image must reflect this. Think about it like this. You are presented with two girls that are identical twins, in which the only difference is that one of them is wearing a super short skirt and a tiny top, while the other one is wearing a regular, slightly sexy dress. If you were asked which one you wanted to have sex with, you would opt for the one with her ass cheeks hanging out. However, if you were asked which one you want to start a relationship with,
you would choose the other.

Women have that state of mind ALL THE TIME. Unlike men, they are looking for a man to start a relationship with, not a man to simply have sex with. Granted, looks are important to a woman, but a woman is looking for a man with maturity and stability.

Always look your best
You should always take your time to look your best. You never know when you may have the opportunity to meet a stunning, beautiful woman. Be sure to pay attention to the whole outfit. It's worth the extra money to buy yourself some nice clothes. And don't forget about the shoes, a new belt and a nice watch. Accessories do make a huge difference. If you wear a well put-together outfit you will look sharp and portray more confidence. The way you dress actually will change how you behave. Think about it- if you wore a clown costume all day, you would feel silly and goofy. So if you want to have more sex appeal, wear something that makes you feel sexy.

Refine Your Looks.
Women notice every little thing about a man's grooming.
Every time they see a man, they go through a mental checklist.
Is his hair washed and styled?
Are his fingernails clean or manicured?
Are his shoes polished?
Clothes clean?
Is he bathed?
Does he smell good?
These little things matter to women! Clean and neat counts! Find a grooming regime that works for you and stay polished! Show women that you care about your appearance. Take pride in how you look, and you instantly improve your chances of success!

Your shoes do matter
Wearing exclusive shoes will definitely help polish a man's image. This image can make a big difference between a normal man and a man with expensive shoes in the first stages of dating. In addition, note that poor quality shoes are especially noticeable when a man is well dressed because of the contrast it creates. Women will notice small details such as cheap shoes, and it is therefore worth spending the extra dollars to buy higher quality shoes.

Let me explain. Lower-priced shoes are usually associated with cheap mannerisms and women usually don't like cheap men. So when a woman looks at a man's shoes, she will analyze them. If he is wearing cheap shoes, then she may come to the conclusion that he is a cheap person; not frugal, but cheap. This may seem pretty farfetched, but in fact, it isn't. Ask a female friend and you will be surprised about her opinion on the matter.

Simply take this advice and don't lose out on a hot member of the opposite sex because you didn't want to spend a few extra dollars on quality shoes. Although style is not a substitute for great personality, wearing stylish shoes can definitely give someone an edge when it comes to attracting women on a first date, but it is not the perfect solution.

Being comfortable.
The best way to attract women is to just be comfortable with yourself. When you are comfortable, people feel comfortable around you. Relax and chill out. Lean back and take it one step at a time. Women approach guys who are having a good time, not the ones that are out LOOKING for a woman.

Don't fidget with your tie/drink/change/pen etc.
These are obvious signs of nervousness and lack of confidence, which are very unattractive to her.

A tip about clothing:
1. Stay away from wearing very large baggy pants. Large baggy pants actually make a person appear shorter than they really are.
2. Bright shirts and white shirts accentuate a man’s muscular features. When a guy wears something bright, he appears larger than he really is. However, when a guy wears dark clothing, he appears skinnier.
3. Striped (vertical) dress shirts and skinnier pants make a man appear taller than he really is.
4. Make sure NOT to have imbalance. If you are going to wear skinny clothing, make sure it’s on the top AND bottom. If you are going to wear large clothing, make sure it’s on the top AND bottom. Don’t mix the two. Large clothing on the top and skinny on the bottom gives that odd “football player” look, whereas skinny on the top and large on the bottom give the “clown” look.
5. In a survey, EIGHT out of TEN girls said they find JEANS the sexiest thing a man can wear.

Body Language
A girl once said, “I can see if a guy is good in bed, just by the way he walks.” A woman can tell a lot about you, just by the way you look, speak and act. It comes from all those years of experience of guys hitting on them.

If you go out dressed like you do not care about your image at all, you
probably don't care, and women will notice this. On the other hand, if you go out dressed as a socially cool guy, you’ll notice different results. As for the woman, she really doesn’t want to hook up with some low self-esteem loser, or some boring guy who doesn’t know how to give her some fun in her life. So they screen you and try to find out as many things about you as possible in a very short period of time.

Now let me ask you who the really confident men in our society are, the ones with an attitude larger then life. Who are they? Rock stars, company directors, successful managers, doctors, politicians etc.

Take a look at how they walk, how they sit, how they speak, and you'll notice something really interesting. They are totally calm, like they control
TIME. They are not in a hurry. The way they move and how they speak completely radiates with confidence.

Take a look at what are the most common mistakes when approaching women
Talking too fast, indicating nervousness.
Talking too much, trying to impress her.
Not knowing what to say next.
Drinking, to become comfortable.
Asking too many questions
Buying her drinks (trying to buy her over, or even worse, trying to get her drunk)
Not being comfortable talking with strangers (social anxiety)

Does any of this radiate with any confidence? No. Take a look and see that every action here projects insecurity! Ok, let’s correct this poor body language together.

Here is list of things that you must FIX…
Keep your hands out of your pockets.
Stand with your feet wider apart.
Never look down when you walk, look above the horizon.
Stand with your chest pushed outwards
Keep your shoulders relaxed and back
Walk confidently and slowly with bigger steps
Pay attention to how you dress
Touch people when you talk with them (non-sexual), because you must create conversation on all levels, not just verbally.

[abugga]

abugga, i'd really love to be your friend :p:D you've got so much to learn.

hahaha thanks for the support yah ;)

[abugga]

Wow. what an amazing thread... thanks for all the tips to TS and other contributers.
I have a question: When talking to a girl, many times I am so focused on the conversation and trying to respond intellegiently, that I completely forget to notice body language and to pick up her IOIs.

In other words, how do you guys "split your brain into two"?
Being able to engage in a conversation, yet notice all those subtle body language cues, and insert all the DHVs?

Active IOIs
*She reinitiates conversations when you stop talking
*She giggles
*She touches you
*She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you
*She looks back and glances at you repeatedly ever minute or so
*She tosses her hair (to see if you will look)
*If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second
*She smiles at you
*She stands nearby (proximity)
*She interrupts your conversation from nearby or laughs at something you said
*While walking by, she turns her body toward you or brushes against you
*She says something to her friend and they both giggle
*She asks you for a light or the time or in any way initiates a conversation
*While you're talking to her group, she is particularly talkative (to get your attention)
*She asks you for your name
*She asks you your age (make her guess)
*She compliments you
*She is playful and tries to challenge you
*She's disagreeing but laughing
*She's punching your arm but laughing
*She uses nicknames for you
*She plays with her hair while talking to you
*When she is sitting next to you her leg touches yours
*She repeatedly touches you in any way
*She asks if you have a girlfriend
*She mentions your girlfriend without knowing if you actually have one
*When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back
*She holds eye contact for longer periods of time when she speaks with you
*She avoids mentioning her boyfriend
*If it comes up that you like somthing, she mentions that she likes it, too, or needs someone to show her how to do it
*When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reaction
*She looks at you from the side, to hide the fact that she's looking
*She introduces you to friends
*She buys you a drink
*She calls you a player or a heartbreaker
*On her way out, she reapproaches you to tell you that she is leaving (Get her #)
*On your way out, she asks you where you are going (Invite her)
*She returns your calls
*She invents reasons to be near you, intereact with you, or have isolation with you

Passive IOIs
*Her friends go (to the bathroom or bar or dancing) but she stays
*She moves to see you and hangs with you for extended periods
*If you move, she follows you or waits for you
*She doesn't flinch or pull back if you happen to get too close
*She doesn't resist when you escalate physically


The most important IOIs to look for are:
*She re-initiates conversation when you stop talking
*She giggles
*She touches you
*She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you"

[Tripster]

Hallo, so many tips....how to follow? By the time I memorise and practice them, game over.

Appreciate all the advice brudder dick and bugga...can you distill the wisdom to 3 - 5 simple steps? That way it is easier to follow....kum sia...:D

peace

[abugga]

Hallo, so many tips....how to follow? By the time I memorise and practice them, game over.

Appreciate all the advice brudder dick and bugga...can you distill the wisdom to 3 - 5 simple steps? That way it is easier to follow....kum sia...:D

peace

All i can say is, there is not short cut to success bro, be it life or pussy :D:D

[DegenerationX]

Build up that confidence boy
Constantly tell yourself how attractive you are... how any woman would be blown away by you if you sat down and had a chat and they got to know you. Tell yourself these types of things every day for one month, then take a good look at yourself in the mirror and you will notice that you actually DO look much better than you think. This will also boost your confidence at an amazing rate.

Value value value
If you want to be successful with gorgeous girls the number one thing you should remember is you should be the leader of the pack, the guy everyone looks up to. You've got to have value. You won't believe how many guys have a few unsuccessful closes and start to question their ability and undo all their hard work. Inner game and outer game goes hand in hand. Think highly of yourself and others will think highly of you - including gorgeous women



In my point of view, those I highlighted are actually more or less the same thing.

Just to share an incident that happend to me 2 weeks ago. Me and a group of frds (guys and ladies) were having KTV session at party world for some celebration. There was this lady A which I only met a few times before, not really on close term with her and I do not even have her contact number. My frd was chasing over this lady A and all of us knows it. My frd always try to stay close with her, sit beside her. So tat nite, i was singing a duet with her and out of nowhere, I said: "I know you have interest in me!" Everyone was shocked and she just laughed. On that nite, I bumped into her outside the washroom and she took the moment to take my contact number. After tat nite, we constantly contacted each other and I eventually bonked her.

I personally agree that self-confidence is an important factor when ladies choose guys.

[abugga]

Some suggestions for your first date!

Before you go on your first date, have something planned. You don't have to keep a full itinerary of places to visit, but you must have an idea what activities you can do on your first date to make sure she would want a second one. All your first date activities should improve your initial attraction for one another, so impersonal activities that don't encourage much conversation are out. Here are three tips for your first date; things to do to increase attraction.

1. Find a place with a Love Seat: Touching her on your first date is tricky, but you have more chances of increasing her attraction for you if you can make her feel your presence more through platonic touching. Sitting across each other in a café is too impersonal, so you have to find a better place to talk. If you cannot find a coffee shop with a love seat, you can go to the park and sit side-by-side on a park bench.

2. Sharing a food item: If you're going to the movies, buy only one big bucket of popcorn you can share with her. If you're eating dinner in a fancy restaurant, order one dessert you can eat together. Sharing things on your date will make you feel more like a couple.

3. Full Body Contact: Some nice activities to increase intimacy and sexual tension include slow dancing and cuddling under the stars (on a chilly night). Full body contact on your first date means making her feel that you're not just looking for a gal pal. Be patient on your first date and don't go for a kiss just yet (unless she's the one who asks for it). Your goal must be to improve rapport and get comfortable with each other's company. If you do it right, you will get a second date.

[abugga]

After having a good date with a girl and you are back at her place, try to leave something behind that will remind her of you. Leaving a shirt behind is what I recommend, because it will probably smell like your cologne and the smell will make her think of you. This also gives you an excuse to see her again. When she calls to tell you that you've forgotten something, act like it is no big deal and say that you'll pick it up next time you get together.
Now that's your opening for a 2nd get together :D

After you go on a date with a woman you are very interested in, and if you feel that everything on your date went very well, send flowers to her workplace. Women love to show off when a guy they are dating does something romantic for them, and their work is the absolute best place for them to show off. Most women are either good friends or highly competitive with their female co-workers, which is a win-win situation for them when they receive a gift while at work. Chances are she will give you a call the moment she gets the flowers, try it. To balance out the equation and make it seem like you aren't a needy guy, you can joking act like "Aww no, I meant to send those to someone else!" Say it with a smile and you are as good as gold. Also, only do this once, as making a habit out of spoiling a woman will lead to her either taking advantage of you or expecting you to continue that behavior forever.

[dennischan]

thx to all bros who contributed to this thread!!

TOTALLY recommend it to all guys who are looking to build their inner game =)

[Softcore]

Great topic!

Reading it is one thing, but putting it into action is another. :)

[shitrules]

Great topic!

Reading it is one thing, but putting it into action is another. :)



Second that totally.... Great information. But its damm difficult to put these theories in action.

[abugga]

Do agree some of the pointers are hard to be placed into good solid action but at least start off by injecting some healthy dosage of confidence into yourself and start improving on your fashion sense, look good feel good about yourself, whoever said it has to be just for the sole purpose of getting laid more often? take it as a change for a better you!

[SGDreamchaser]

damm. all the shifus all nv post alr. ok. may i post another case study?

assuming u are eating alone, and u are walking to see which foodcourt has single people eating alone. now u see this gorgeous babe sitting alone. what do u say after she says u can sit with her?

pls post soon so i can up u guys!

[abugga]

damm. all the shifus all nv post alr. ok. may i post another case study?

assuming u are eating alone, and u are walking to see which foodcourt has single people eating alone. now u see this gorgeous babe sitting alone. what do u say after she says u can sit with her?

pls post soon so i can up u guys!

Don't get caught without conversation starters on a "first date"! The guys who can wow a woman from the moment they meet her all know a secret: women love funny, relaxed, attentive guys who want to hear all about them. There is nothing that a woman finds more flattering than to be asked about her opinions, feelings, and life experiences.

So when you find yourself in a situation where the silence starts to grow, ask a question! What do you want to know about this woman? I will warn you right now: she'll notice immediately if you're not really interested in her response. If you want to get to know a woman better, you need to show how interested you are in her. Better yet, when she shares her accomplishments and hobbies, you will find yourself in a perfect situation to compliment her ... and complimenting a woman will suddenly make you much more attractive in her eyes. The least attractive guy in the world can find himself swarmed with women if he simply does two things: appreciate them and let them know it.

When you're on a first date, remember the following tips.

1. Keep all conversation positive. Never bring up negative things, like how hard your life is right now, how you've been seeking for a job for months, or how complicated things are with your parents. Avoid controversial subjects until you get to know the person better.

2. Relax! Women can sense fear and nervousness, even if you think you're hiding it well. When you are nervous, you often speak faster, and you may appear more serious or intense than you usually are. You may want to try watching a comedy, reading cartoons, or doing whatever makes you double over in uncontrollable laughter before your date. Laughing will relax all your muscles, send good feelings to your brain, and get your blood pumping. You'll meet her with a great big smile on your face--and she'll respond.

3. When she is talking, lean forward, look into her eyes (not down at her chest), and respond to what she says. If you agree, smile and nod. If she's talking about something serious, take it seriously. DO NOT lean back in your chair and look around the restaurant as she talks. DO NOT stare at her so intensely that she feels uncomfortable. Give her the space to look back at you by occupying yourself with your plate of food, or by gazing at a spot on the tablecloth while you focus on listening to her.

4. Don't ask the same old questions, as if you're going through a checklist. Everyone gets asked what they do or where they're from. Try some questions that she's never been asked before. If you can, focus the question on something that you've noticed about her specifically. For example, if she walks particularly gracefully, you might ask her if she's been a dancer. Not only will she feel flattered, but the question will give her the opportunity to talk about whether she likes dancing ... which might lead to an invitation for a second date later on in the night.

Here are some other conversation starters that you might wish to ask. If any of these questions seem to strike a nerve, quickly move on. NEVER push an issue. You might sense that there is more to a topic than she wants to tell you at this point, and that's okay. The point is to make her feel comfortable and open up to you, NOT to make her feel uncomfortable and tense.

Conversation Starter #1:
"Do you have a pet? What's your favorite kind of pet?"

This should start up a lively conversation, because people LOVE their pets and love talking about them. If she doesn't have a pet, you might wish to ask, "Really? Why not?"

Conversation Starter #2:
"That's a cool watch/necklace/pair of shoes. Where did you get it?"

The amount of time women spend preparing for dates is enormous. Most women choose everything they wear with careful deliberation. When you notice the effort they've put in and ask about something they've chosen to wear, they will feel flattered and appreciated ... as well as get to talk about their clothes and accessories, which every girl enjoys.

Conversation Starter #3:
"Have you ever done X?"

It is important to establish common ground on your first date and find some common interests. By asking her if she's ever done something that you are knowledgeable about or enjoy doing, you can find out what you have in common. Just don't use the question as a platform to go on and on about your OWN interests--no matter how interested she seems to be. Women know how to act interested, even if they're not. Mention your own hobbies, then move on to finding out more about her.

Conversation Starter #4:
"Do you follow any sports teams?"

This can be a tricky question, because men are notorious for being sports buffs. Many women don't want to be with a guy who will blow them off when their favorite team is playing on a Saturday afternoon. However, if she does follow a sports team, you may find that you'll have an instant connection.

Conversation Starter #5:
"Have you ever been to Y?"

Everyone likes talking about places they've been. Ask her if she has ever been to a local hotspot that you enjoy. Maybe it's a club, a coffee shop, a museum, or even a park or hiking trail. If she hasn't been there, and you are hitting it off by that point, you can use the question as a springboard for asking her out on a second date!

Good luck! I hope that these conversation starters give you an edge to sweep the next woman you meet off her feet.

[DeadlyViper]

Thanks so much for sharing. Widen my horizon much more.:)

[stuupid]

Interesting thread but seems to have 2 school of thoughts. One for the quick bomb and ons. The other is for starting a relationship.

[abugga]

valentine's day is coming! :)

I'ma share this song which just does it for me, makes me wanna love and cherish the woman in my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wI3g2U3tr50

Hope you guys have a great weekend ahead!

[Softcore]

Second that totally.... Great information. But its damm difficult to put these theories in action.

It's actually very easy once you get the momentum starting - I do it all the time when not thinking of work. But most guys would rather just talk about it. :)

[unsung80]

Fantastic thread. Will read it again.

[abugga]

Anyone would like to contribute or ask anything? :)

[goawayyy]

Its nice to know that they're still guys out there who knows the rules of the game :rolleyes: (all those must've come from experiences huh? abbuga, you deserve an award for this :))

Hmmm, maybe you can consider writing a content page for all the stuffs you've posted and include links to each post? Categorize them into headings so its easier for people to read, and refer back to it months later :D Yup its troublesome but if you have the time (while thinking of more advices?), this could be a lifesaver guide for a lot of bros out there!

Kudos to you! :p

[pale_dick]

Play “Hard to get”

Never become obsessed with a particular woman you've just met, no matter how hot she is or how much she seems to like you. Always make it obvious that you are attracted to her, but never let her know how much you really like her.

Don’t always be available to do something with her.
You have called a girl and asked her to go to a movie on Tuesday and she declines. Don’t say, “Well, how about on Wednesday?” or “What day can you make it?” Simply say, “That’s too bad you can’t make it. Maybe some other time. Talk to you later.” You have to avoid making it sound as if you are free any time she wants you.

Become a man of worth
You have to make the girl believe that she has competition. That your time is valuable. That you have better things to do on weekends than to spend time with her. You are a person in demand.
She may be thinking: Are you with another girl? Are you in the bars? Attending an important meeting? Keep her guessing. It will intrigue her.

Humans generally want what they can't have. If you make her believe she can't have you, she'll be that much intrigued with you. Even if you have nothing to do, let her leave a voice mail. You're busy. If you do call never leave a voicemail; she'll be wondering what you wanted and if you made other plans.

Remember, you're a person that is always in demand! Scarcity increases value. Don’t answer every phone call, don’t see her every day, and don’t be available every day. Be busy and unavailable; let her wonder what you are doing!

[abugga]

Most men don't realize that women automatically disqualify them based on how they presents themmselves both physically and mentally. Their minds then generate excuses for why they have no success with women; they blame their looks, their lack of success, other men... the list is endless. When in fact, the truth is that they have nobody to blame but themselves.

Self-criticism is vital for self-improvement. How can you improve yourself if your ego tells you that you're perfect? By altering your behavior and appearance in 10 simple ways, you can magnify your success with women dramatically:


Be Confident

This is the most important facet, and also the most difficult to achieve if you don't naturally have it. Not being afraid of social interactions communicates high status.


Be Dominant

Confidence will often naturally lead to it, but dominance should still be in the forefront of your mind when talking to women. It is not domineering. It is not arrogance. It is subtle and hard to define.


Be Clean

Hygene is an important part of the image you present to the world. How you dress and how you present yourself is an indication of the value and worth which you place upon yourself. And remember that nobody wants to hang around with a smelly douche bag.


Be Relaxed

Being relaxed communicates many good things about you. It allows you to think more clearly and communicates to others that you are comfortable in your own skin.


Be Fun

People like to hang out with fun people! By being funny, charming, and witty, people will appreciate your presence and will enjoy your company.


Be Happy

No one wants to hang out with someone who is mopey, depressed, and angry all the time. By being happy you are making yourself more approachable and showing others that you are a friendly and engaging person.


Be Content

This could also be defined as being non-needy. People can often smell when someone approaches them with an agenda or a specific outcome in mind. Neediness implies low social value and lack of inner strength.


Be Popular

Social proof is another extremely important part of your game, especially when it come to first impressions. If you are perceived as the fun, popular guy who everyone likes, women will be much more receptive to your approach!


Be Self-Loving

Loving yourself is extremely important. This isn't the same thing as being selfish, however. It is possible to love yourself and also to love others. The problem arises when you put other peoples needs ahead of your own unjustifiably. Remember that you are number one!

Be Giving

"Give and ye shall receive"

This old mantra rings true. By giving to others you will communicate high value and friendliness, and others will be more likely to reciprocate.

[abugga]

When a woman first meets a man, the initial few minutes of her interaction with him are crucial and will determine the type of relationship that will ensue from then on. In simple terms: She will make all of her most important judgments about you within 3-5 minutes of meeting you.

During this ever-important window of time the woman will "appraise" your value, and then upon determining how much potential you have she will then decide if she wants to even continue to have any form of relationship with you at all. Once this is done, she will then place you into one of two categories within her mind to govern the type of relationship that she feels you to be worthy of: potential lover or potential friend.

Once a woman has made her decision and has placed you into one of these two categories, you will forever be stuck there for as long as you know her. For example, if she considers you as a lover and you begin having a sexual relationship with her and then break up, there will be no "Let's just be friends now". This would simply not work because the physical attraction is too strong and the awkwardness of the situation would prevent any real friendship for occurring. On the other hand, she could consider you as a friend and you would begin to "hang out" with her, all the while hoping that something will magically happen and she will become gradually attracted to you. You would be nice to her, buy her gifts, let her cry on your shoulder when her asshole boyfriend cheats on her, go shopping with her and always be on call to drive her wherever she pleases. However, all of this effort would be in vain because she had already categorized you when you first met her, and you are forever locked into the "Friend's Zone".

What you are reading right now is the brutal honest truth, and even though you may be in this type of situation right now with a woman and are hanging on to any last hope that you may have, deep down you should be able to see the real truth if you think about it logically. It's as simple as this: If you have a crush on a woman that you are "just friends" with, you will never have a chance to become her lover. Your one and only shot at having an intimate relationship with a woman is within the first few minutes of meeting her, if you do not make the right impression at that time then her legs will be forever closed to you.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is just the way that it is. The only thing to do once you're in the friend's zone is to forget about that girl and move on to the next one, doing this will save you loads of heartache, money and time. Theoretically, with a huge amount of effort you could possibly convince the woman to date you, but without the strong initial attraction that relationship with her will be doomed to fail rather quickly. It is a fool's errand.

In Hollywood "chick flicks", the nice guy who is best friends with the beautiful woman typically either out-smarts the "bad guy" or just gets lucky and ultimately ends up with the woman on his arm. After that, they go on to live happily ever after and blah blah, bullshit. In the real world, the nice guy will usually tip off the beautiful woman and she will realize how much of a jerk the bad guy is and dump him, but then just go out and meet another bad boy and begin dating him while the nice guy is still just her friend. Have you ever thought about why women love those chick flicks so much? It's because they are all fairy tales and have a plot that would never happen in reality, if those movies were like real life then they wouldn't be nearly as interesting. It's like the equivalent of what action flicks are to us men. Even though James Bond can drive a Porsche through an exploding building, ramp it off of the roof, shoot down a helicopter with a single shot while still in mid-air and then land on another rooftop without even getting a single scratch on his high-end vehicle... doesn't mean that it could ever actually happen. It's the impossible that we are drawn to.

With that said, let's get back on track:

If you have just met a new woman and your actual intentions are to have a sexual relationship with her, you MUST immediately let her know that is what you want from her. You need to have an "all or nothing" attitude when first gaming a woman, and express this in everything that you say and do. Within the first few minutes of meeting her, if you can get the message across to her that you want to be her lover and not her friend, you will easily be able to avoid ever being dropped into the friend's zone. You can accomplish this simply by flirting properly, which includes teasing, kino, negs, push & pull, smiling seductively and a wide array of other techniques and methods. Be fun and carefree, act as if you're not looking for anything serious and just want to have a good time. Never allow her dominate you in any way, do not buy her drinks or hold/watch her purse for her.

When you follow the guidelines listed above, you will successfully be able to prevent yourself from ever becoming "just a friend" again, and will begin to have sexual relationships with women rather than one-sided friendships in which you are just being used by women due to being a "nice guy".

Always remember:

The only way to get out of the friend's zone is to avoid ever going there in the first place!

I personally have been bitten by this once and have thus wasted 4 years of my life, although i have dated and slept with other ladies during that 4 years of life (not important), it has since become a shadow in my memories and i have made a mental note with myself to never ever, NEVER - let such a situation pop up again, it just is..... you know how it is.

[abugga]

With the above said, i'm afraid i have to say i'll be going on a short break, workload in my life has been getting a little too hectic recently, a little more hectic than what i can easily handle, at least usually. But please, you readers out there, do not be afraid/hesitate to drop a comment or two, add a view of your own, this is a discussion thread created for all, it'd be weird if only me and bro pale_dick is posting. So yeah, all comments/your opinions/views and contributions are highly appreciated. Cheers all, i'll be coming in any once in a while to check, reply PMs or questions in this thread if i have the time.

Cheers, good hunting, this is your boy JR, signing off. :)

[tsw191]

interesting tips fellow bros. learnt quite a few stuffs from reading this thread. keep them coming~ :)

[evantoh]

Bravo. :cool:
Nice read!

[abugga]

It's been quite awhile :) anyways in my absence, realised somebody left me a note saying that "who doesn't know of all these bullshit?"

Well buddy, relax your nipps, i ain't here to hurt anyone yo, ease it with the trigger. Well guess i can't please anyone but yeah who cares, i'm posting for the shake of sharing, you may know what i know but that doesn't mean all the other guys know what we know, get me? so chill man, nobody's forcing ya to read :) don't like it? exit button's right up there babe.

Stay tuned, need to come up with some ideas on what to post, or anyone would like to give me some?

[cutecuteboy]

It's been quite awhile :) anyways in my absence, realised somebody left me a note saying that "who doesn't know of all these bullshit?"

Well buddy, relax your nipps, i ain't here to hurt anyone yo, ease it with the trigger. Well guess i can't please anyone but yeah who cares, i'm posting for the shake of sharing, you may know what i know but that doesn't mean all the other guys know what we know, get me? so chill man, nobody's forcing ya to read :) don't like it? exit button's right up there babe.

Stay tuned, need to come up with some ideas on what to post, or anyone would like to give me some?


Forget that someone who left u that note.
I, for one, appreciates what you have shared with us so far.

Hopefully you wld continue sharing after settling ur busy schedule.

[igor88]

Yah man pse keep it coming. Thanks for sharing.

[abugga]

I want to tell you guys a story.

I have two friends with two very different ideas on how to meet women.

One friend will walk up to every woman he meets and try to get a date with them.

The other will wait around, study a woman he likes, and wait for a signal she's open to being hit on.

Neither method is better than the other, but while my first friend meets with a lot of rejection and failure, my second friend, the one who scopes out his target beforehand, has a much higher success rate.

See, he only goes after women who like him. He calls himself a "sniper," picking his targets with accuracy, whereas my other friend is a "shotgun," hitting everything and hoping something sticks.

When you know a woman is into you, she becomes a "target of opportunity."

This means that you have an "inroad" with the woman. An opening that let's you know you have a chance of scoring with her.

This can be valuable for many reasons. It reduces uncertainty, helps bolster confidence and self esteem, etc. But it can be hit or miss, depending on your look, your belief system, and what the girl is into.

There are certain cues you can look for to tell when the woman is a "target of opportunity." The biggest of which is an "eye cue."

If a girl looks you up and down quickly when she first sees you, chances are she's interested.

This is because she likes your face, and she wants to see what the rest of you is like. It may not be a 100% sure thing, but it's definitely "on" if you see that eye signal.

If you catch a woman looking at you and she turns away suddenly, chances are she was checking you out. You know how this is, men are guilty of it all the time.

Remember when you saw a beautiful woman and you were staring at her, soaking in her beauty, maybe daydreaming a bit, and she turns and sees you? What do you do?

That's right, you look away and pretend nothing was happening.

Well, girls are the same way. Just be aware of it.

Another sign she's interested is pupil dilation. If you're talking to a girl and her pupils are as big as saucers, then it's a good chance she's attracted to you!

There's an old saying that eyes are the window's to the soul. This is very true. Keep your attention on a woman's eyes and she'll let you know when the opportunity to seduce her is present.

[abugga]

A little side track, sometime i read some time back than i found vaguely interesting, but very true... to a certain extent of course.. hahaha :)

MOST MEN ARE DEATHLY AFRAID...

Most men don't know the FIRST THING about how to take things to a "physical" level with a woman.

Here's why:

Let's say you've been out on a date with a woman, and you're now back at your place, having an enjoyable conversation.

You look over at her.

She looks back at you.

You want to kiss her.

She KNOWS that you want to kiss her.

You know that she is the one with all the power.

If you try to kiss her, and she pulls away, she might reject you forever.

If you DON'T try to kiss her, maybe it will happen later, or maybe she'll even kiss you...

The risk of being rejected FOREVER is so powerful and creates such fear that you decide to just "walk away" from the situation and hope something happens later.

Or, let's say that you've been out with a woman a few times, and you have just kissed her for the first time.

You know that she's enjoying it.

She knows that you want her.

You'd REALLY like to do more, but you're afraid that if you try, you'll be seen as "moving too fast", or even worse... a "pushy pervert".

You hate the idea of being rejected after you've invested all that time and come so far... So you decide to stop and hope that maybe things will "heat back up" later.

WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE

If you really stop and think about it, the reason why you run into problems in situations like these is that:

1) You don't understand exactly what turns women on.

2) You are afraid of rejection.

3) You don't know what SHE'S thinking, so you hesitate.

I honestly believe that most men CAUSE their own problems and resistance when it comes to "getting physical" with a woman.

Yes, you read that right... MEN are the ones who CAUSE the problems.

It's not the woman!

It's the fact that you don't understand the situation, what's REALLY going on, and how to proceed.

WHAT WOMEN WANT... BUT WILL NEVER TELL YOU:

Here's a little secret that most women will NEVER share with you...

SHE KNOWS WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND.

Women can tell what you're thinking!

If you want to kiss her, but you're nervous about it, SHE KNOWS.

If you're kissing her and want to do more... SHE KNOWS.

And here's the KICKER:

If you're afraid of her rejecting you, SHE KNOWS.

Really.

Women are approximately TEN TIMES as good as men when it comes to reading and interpreting subtle body language, and THEY KNOW WHAT WE'RE THINKING.

Let me correct myself... slightly.

They know what MOST men are thinking.

If you understand the dynamics of how and why women become sexually aroused, then EVERYTHING CHANGES.

Now, let's talk a little bit about the topics of RESISTANCE and REJECTION.

Here's an interesting thought:

In their book "Sexual Interactions", Albert and Elizabeth Allgeier mention that in one study almost 40% of women reported refusing sexual intercourse when they actually WANTED it. They call this "The token no".

So, what's going on here?

Hold on... one more thing before I discuss this, I want to point out that this DOESN'T mean that a woman wants a man to force himself on her. NEVER force a woman to do anything!

Here's what's going on...

Women enjoy ANTICIPATION.

Anticipation leads to sexual arousal.

Write that down...

...on your forehead.

You need to remember that women like the idea of WANTING and EXPECTING what's going to happen.

The reason why a lot of women say that they don't want to sleep with men even when they do is because the man doesn't GET IT.

Men act like they would enjoy it if a woman just took off her clothes and said, "Let's do it."

Women act like they want a man to chase them around all night... and then MAYBE do it. Maybe.

So if you want her to feel more turned on, and to get less "resistance", then USE ANTICIPATION.

I have a technique that I teach that's called "Two steps forward, one step back".

This is a way to INCREASE a woman's sexual arousal and AMPLIFY the ATTRACTION that's already present in the situation.

Here's how it works:

Let's say that you're talking to a woman at your place, and you start holding her hand.

After a few minutes, take your hand back and STOP.

Lean back.

Keep talking.

A few minutes later, reach over and take her hand again... and keep talking.

Then, lean over and kiss her (use "The Kiss Test" as described at my website and in my "Double Your Dating" ebook).

After you've kissed her, STOP.

Lean back again.

Keep talking.

A few minutes later, reach over and kiss her again.

This time, kiss her for a little longer.

Kiss her a little deeper.

Then stop.

Lean back.

Smile.

ARE YOU WITH ME?

When you use this technique, you will be absolutely STUNNED at the results.

First of all, it completely changes the situation.

Instead of a woman RESISTING you, she'll be MUCH more likely to try to get you to DO MORE.

She'll very likely be confused.

She'll be thinking to herself, "What's going on here? Most guys try to push themselves on me, or they don't do anything at all. This guy seems like he's so in control of himself. And I keep getting more turned on. Maybe I should tell him that we're not going to sleep together tonight. But this is so great..."

And the best part of this technique is that IT'S WHAT WOMEN WANT YOU TO DO!

Of course, they'd never TELL you this. And even if a woman COULD explain it, she wouldn't WANT to tell you. Women want men who ALREADY GET IT.

I want to mention a couple of more important things.

First, if you want to even GET to the point where it's time to hold a woman's hand, kiss her, and get even more physical, then you MUST understand how ATTRACTION works, and how to make women feel that powerful emotion.

If you don't, then knowing all the fancy techniques in the world won't help you.

It's also VERY useful to understand what to do AFTER you've kissed a woman... the details of how to do OTHER, more INTIMATE things.

[abugga]

Know the easy way on how to get a girlfriend

A lot of guys get lazy when it comes to dating. They want to find a girlfriend without making much of an effort. In other words, they're looking for a quick and easy method for finding the perfect woman.

The truth is it's pretty hard to find a great girlfriend. However in this article, I'll cover THREE easy steps you can use to locate that special woman.

Step #1- Know Where to Look: First off, you have to know where to look if want to get a girlfriend. This comes down to your personality and interests. The guys who are HAPPIEST in relationships are with women that provide physical AND emotional stimulation. Any girl you date should match YOUR expectations and what you want from life. In other words, if you want a specific type of girl, you need to go where she would hang out. That means if you want a intellectual girlfriend, then you should go to the places where she's most likely to be.

Step #2- Flirt and Create Sexual Tension: Once you find a girl that matches your expectations, you have to attract her. And FLIRTING is the best way that you can do this. When you're able to flirt and create sexual tension, it becomes VERY easy to make a woman interested in you. The ONLY easy way to find out how to get a girlfriend is being able to flirt when you meet her. To get this girl, you have to be able to spark that attraction!

Step #3- Date Until You Find 'The One': You never want to settle down with a girlfriend until you know she's right for you. My advice is to date different women until you find that girl you simply 'click' with. As long as you're honest upfront, there is NOTHING wrong with dating around until you get a girlfriend that you truly want to be with. Know how to get a girlfriend easy doesn't have to be an overly complicated process. As long as you apply these three steps, it won't be very long till you'll come across that perfect girl!

It's hard i know, and sometimes hope seems a little bleak, especially relationship after relationship, but well, life itself is a big bout of trial and error, so keep trying guys, find the dream girl of your life and you know you are set :)

[abugga]

Finally i have some time to pop by again, how are things going here with fellow forumers? all good for you guys i presume?

[mattress]

awesome read bro! just one thing bro, any tips on how to really overcome the fear of rejection? I will say I'm quite the confident guy but once in a while, that tiny fear of rejection will creep in. and I'm pretty sure rejection can be a massive hit in the solarplexes for most of the bros here. any tips to overcome such a situation?

[helloworld11]

Sharing some of my thoughts. Many posts have been made by other bros about meeting women but one point seems not touched on. That would be social value. I believe many chapters have been witten on this. Social value is perhaps the single most important factor in getting more girls in your life. As mentioned many authors have written about it so I won't elaborate. Just do a little Google.

[abugga]

awesome read bro! just one thing bro, any tips on how to really overcome the fear of rejection? I will say I'm quite the confident guy but once in a while, that tiny fear of rejection will creep in. and I'm pretty sure rejection can be a massive hit in the solarplexes for most of the bros here. any tips to overcome such a situation?

Just do it lor :p the more you think the more you hesitate, if she rejects u, move on, repeat it over & over again, you'll find yourself becoming more & more comfortable with talking with strangers, of course, keep it fresh, don't use old cliche lines.

[abugga]

Sharing some of my thoughts. Many posts have been made by other bros about meeting women but one point seems not touched on. That would be social value. I believe many chapters have been witten on this. Social value is perhaps the single most important factor in getting more girls in your life. As mentioned many authors have written about it so I won't elaborate. Just do a little Google.

what can i say, social value... it's something that can't be read & duplicated, one must go out & accomplish something, be it career etc etc. to achieve it. :)

[abugga]

Hello all people of this forum, it's been awhile since I've posted here, it's been awhile, how's life for everyone here. I've recently met a wonderful woman who i am in love with and have been happy with how life is going.

Hope to hear from all bros, feel free to add to to the discussion or TCSS here.

[jolenekoh]

i hardly ever say this, but this is one of the better thread in sbf

[DreamMaster1985]

I should have read this thread a long time ago. Now I'm suffering from a rejection. Jeez....