Hilarious sex joke

[seven_of_clubs]

A couple who recently just know each other was kissing passionately in the room and the man decided to ask the woman to blow for him for the first time...

Man: Darling, can u give me a good blow?
Woman: No!
Man: But why?
Woman: Because i'm a vegetarian, so no meat in my mouth.
Man: .........

**Wonder if any Bros here are caught in a similiar situation :D

[kuyabadung]

Good one bro ! have yet to meet 1 who will say this to me. :p

[shark89]

Woman: Because i'm a vegetarian, so no meat in my mouth.
Man: .........


Technically speaking, as long as she doesn't bite it off, chew and swallow, she shouldn't worry about the 'meat' in her mouth. She's still vegetarian. :D

[alan0338]

there are many vegetarian food nowadays, even meat balls,
hehehe,if i am the guy, i will tell her try the vegetarian MEAT ROD :D

[sonny]

Technically speaking, as long as she doesn't bite it off, chew and swallow, she shouldn't worry about the 'meat' in her mouth. She's still vegetarian. :D

So it is okay for a vegetarian to such on a piece of succulent meat.

[kuyabadung]

Technically speaking, as long as she doesn't bite it off, chew and swallow, she shouldn't worry about the 'meat' in her mouth. She's still vegetarian. :D



That is also provided he don't CIM, sperm are living things !! haha

[shark89]

That is also provided he don't CIM, sperm are living things !! haha

Like I mentioned earlier, as long as she doesn't swallow, she's still a vegetarian. ;)

[magicalspade]

technically if you put shit in your mouth, dun swollow, you are not eating shit???:D

[sky_liner2]

Technically speaking, as long as she doesn't bite it off, chew and swallow, she shouldn't worry about the 'meat' in her mouth. She's still vegetarian. :D

Make sure not cim, or else swallow by accident means killing millions of lives!

BJ with CD may solve the problem. :D

[HyperV]

BJ with CD may solve the problem. :D

Why with CD? with vege around the didi also solve the problem :p

[TheGreatOne]

technically if you put shit in your mouth, dun swollow, you are not eating shit???:D

well said!

[peanut123]

A couple who recently just know each other was kissing passionately in the room and the man decided to ask the woman to blow for him for the first time...

Man: Darling, can u give me a good blow?
Woman: No!
Man: But why?
Woman: Because i'm a vegetarian, so no meat in my mouth.
Man: .........

**Wonder if any Bros here are caught in a similiar situation :D

Man : but it's a banana ! Surely you can suck a banana.

[peanut123]

technically if you put shit in your mouth, dun swollow, you are not eating shit???:D

Yes ! Although its still disgusting.

Just like if you gargle your mouth and spit out the water, are you drinking water ? No you are not.

Anyway, its arguable if semen counts as "meat". After all, many vegetarians eat eggs. What are eggs, if not the female equivalent of semen ?

[Bangster]

"....she don't eat MEAT but she sure like the BONE!!!..."

[magicalspade]

Yes ! Although its still disgusting.

Just like if you gargle your mouth and spit out the water, are you drinking water ? No you are not.

Anyway, its arguable if semen counts as "meat". After all, many vegetarians eat eggs. What are eggs, if not the female equivalent of semen ?

yes...still drinking water..

[EJ20]

Heres more to share. :D

One man calls emergency:
- Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!
After five minutes, the same man calls back:
- It is OK, I found another one.

While making love, he says:
- Darling, let's do 68!
- 68??? What's that?
- You do it to me and I'll owe you one.:p

[ch18]

While making love, he says:
- Darling, let's do 68!
- 68??? What's that?
- You do it to me and I'll owe you one.
__________________

HA! That's a good one......

[my_preek]

haha, u lift my sunday !

[luckyyeti]

I love jokes, share one with bros here...no good dun zap me hor??:p

Arab guy being interviewed at US immigration:
Q: your name pls?
A: Abdul Aziz
Q: sex?
A: twice a week
Q: I mean male or female?
A: doesn't matter...sometimes even camel

hahahahaha:D

[godofasf]

funny jokes. doesn't catch the 68 thingy :(

[dromedary]

Hahaha. A good one! Thanks

[Xgenre]

Ever wondered why flavoured condoms are in apple, strawberry flavours? This is so that even vegens can suck cock! Just wear a fruity flavoured condom and everything will taste fine to the vegetarian. No we know why condoms are flavoured like bacon, mei zhen xiang and honey-baked ham...

[ol'coyote]

A couple who recently just know each other was kissing passionately in the room and the man decided to ask the woman to blow for him for the first time...

Man: Darling, can u give me a good blow?
Woman: No!
Man: But why?
Woman: Because i'm a vegetarian, so no meat in my mouth.
Man: .........

**Wonder if any Bros here are caught in a similiar situation :D

hehe...me had a similiar response from a minah milf...
we were flirting at work...
then me suggested we go some place cos me needed to release...
and me wanted her to blow me...
her reply was she cannot blow me cos me not halal...hehe...
me told her who says so...me already circumcised...
she was surprised...she never had anyone other than her hubby...
she relented and let me lead her to behind a 20foot container...
there...me pulled not-so-little little wolfy out...
and she was amazed at the size and feel...
me got impatient with her exploring...pushed her head down...
she readily took little wolfy in her mouth...
after some time...me pulled her up...turned her around...
pulled down her pants...and had me way with her...
shot me load into her...then pulled up her panty and pants...
she scolded me saying me cum will stain her panty and pants...
me laughed and we left for the toilet to clean up...
ahh...brings back memories of her...hehe...

[ah rat]

Sex test for retired people


This is a test.
The object is to see how fast can you guess the words.
Hey, who said retired people don't think about sex!!!

How fast can you guess these words?

1. B o o _ s

2. _ _ n d o m

3. F _ _ k

4. P _ n _ s

5. P u _ s _

[EJ20]

There are these three guys in a desert dying of dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman.

"C-c-c-can I h-h-h-have some w-w-w-water for me and m-my friends?" he asks.

She replied, "I will... if you have sex with me."

The guy pukes all over the woman and runs back to his friends.

"You guys would not believe who answered the door. Some really gross old lady!" he tells them. "She said we could have water if I had sex with her."

"Why didn't you then?" asks he second guy.

"Because she was so ugly, I was sick and couldn't do it!"

"Oh, you are such a wuss. I'll go up to the door," the second guy says.

He goes up to the door and rings the bell. The old hag answers.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-waaaaaa......" He uses all of his will power to not hurl.

"Water? Yes, I have water," she says knowingly. "But you have to have sex with me."

"AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"

He runs back to his friends and before he could say a word, the third guy goes to the door and rings the bell.

"What do you want for some water?"

"You have to have sex with me."

Knowing that if he doesn't do something, he and his friends will all die. So he follows the lady into her kitchen.

"Do me here," she told him.

He sees 3 ears of corn on the counter and gets an idea.

"Lay back and close your eyes. And keep them closed!"

The witch lays back and spreads her legs. The guy nearly pukes after seeing this. He picks up an ear of corn and screws her with it. Finally she is finished. He throws the corn out the window.

"Oh, God. That was the best orgasm of my life. If you do that again I will give you a million dollars."

"Then lay back and close your eyes again."

This she does and he does her with the second ear of corn until she is satisfied. Then he throws it out the window. This time she doesn't even open her eyes.

"If you do that again, I will give you a Jeep so you can get out of the desert."

"Eyes closed," he says.

Then he does her with the last piece of corn. He brings her to multiple orgasms.

"Ohhhhhhhhh........ The water, money and Jeep are outside," she says as she squirms in ecstasy.

So he runs like hell outside and grabs the water and money and jumps into the Jeep. He wonders where his friends are and drives around to find them. He finds them by the window.

One of the guys says to him, "Hey, man. I hope you had fun. We just ate the three best pieces of buttered corn you could have imagined!"

[kiasuking]

Technically Vegans can only eat UNFERTILIZED eggs. The other half is the sperm. So if the sperm n eggs don't get together, it's ok to eat. So swallowing sperm is alos technically ok cos, you dun swallow human eggs. :p

" Thought for the day" :confused:

[Ho-Lee]

Very good one!!More pls

[EJ20]

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.

"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies
"O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife "No, no boyfriend either."

"Do you have a partner then?"
"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."

After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black"

"Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black."

"Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."

"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes."

"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."

At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims,
"Well thank fuck for that !"
"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.
"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that the little bastard was going to bark!":D

[bigthree]

technically if you put shit in your mouth, dun swollow, you are not eating shit???:D



this is so funny..:D

[yaybaby]

Alright, here's a little contribution for a joke.


A group of army guys are being posted somewhere deep in the desert. Being horny, army boy A ask the sergent :


AB : Serg, is there any girls out there for us to relieve what's down there?
Serg: Just grab the camel that's outside and make do with it.


Army boy A went ahead and look at the camel. He dug a hole behind the camel and strip and tried inserting. Camel stood up, move a step and sat down. Thus, he repeat his move by digging and trying to insert. But once again he failed.

However, he heard a women shouting for help. Immediately he went over and save her from thirst. To return a favour, she offered him anything he wants to satisfy him.


And all Army boy can say to her is...



AB: Help me grab the camel on the ground!