Questions for ladies cheongers here...

[damienlkw]

Hi ladies,

Guys, this is my life encounter that I wish to share with you too, if you r interested. I am married for 20 plus years with two kids. I shared basicall every things with my wife. Even here in sammyboyforum here, what happened to me is sometime that I dont understand at all.

Maybe will some of you ladies can share how a woman thinks. Few years back, I was travelling in and out of Singapore at least 2 to 3 times a year for my business. Naturely, I do flich when oversea just for entertainment because its a social norm for my clients and they guide the business on how in sync we are.

During that time, business not doing well due to resession. I am in tremendous stress, guess that's why I didn't share much with my wife. But what I was about to find out, was that my wife cheated on me with someone in her workplace. And she's willing to give up our marriage if I threaten to divorce her. We are still living together but nothing has changed, she's still beautify herself daily and out late at times leaving my kids with me or my in-laws.

Her lifestyle changes to someone that I dont know anymore, and the best part was that she told me that everyone is doing it and why should I have such reacted. She said I did it as well. But I do it for a purpose not too much of my own needs, and I can't understand that she can give up our 20 over years of relationship and our family for someone who she only know for few years? And she still told me that she know his family and willing to be with him as long as he wants.

Ladies, please share with me your thoughts how women can think this way, and I dont think she has done her part as a wife and a mother. Cos she only think for that man and always left my kids with my in-laws for the past years.

The thing that I dont understand is that why she's not willing to share with me her encounter and why she did it. I need a closing on this chapter, whom wont make mistakes, we are all not saint. I am thinking if she owe up we can start over again. But till this days, she is living on me without feeling any guilt, I think I am going crazy anytime soon. I need a closing please help me to understand this woman.

Ladies, please share your view in own situation. I am all ears for this.

Regards,

[GeMiNiZzzzZzz]

Ditch her immediately ...

What goes around comes around, the man will ditch her soon..

Anyway there are millions of reasons for her sudden behaviour...too many to list out..peer-pressure, looking for new sexcitement, even maybe your problem..

When such things happen, it's time to move on because things will not be the same anymore BUT you still have to consider what will happen to your kids, i suggest you go to a proper counselling centre for proper advice :D

P/s : Paiseh to intrude into your thread...because i am no lady :p

Good Luck...:D

[Delphine2929]

A gal would do everything to get attention and love. This is what you didn't give her enough or not in the way she wants. Sex is usually the last thing to look for. Giving up something she has to keep giving to and restort to something/someone who can give her what she wants, I think it will seem pretty logical to her. Living off you? You willingly allowed her to do that and fearing that man would leave her one day, why not? Tell your kids that truth and be rid of her, don't live life in shame and stress, you don't deserve it.

[ch18]

How old are your kids?
For me, they will be the main deciding factor......

Other than the kids, I don't see any reason for you to be hanging on since she is already so 'open' about wanting to keep the relation with that guy.

[geckoSG]

I really dun know about your case, I do have friends who do not entertain
their client at sleezy place but still high flyers in their work. Its just a lame
excuse from us men to play outside using "entertainment" as an excuse.

Anyway, since love is no longer there, divorce bah, but let your children
decide. If you can take care of them, do so. I forsee the usual chinese
dramas in SG where the mother would come back and say to the children...
I've done wrong... accept me back as your MOTHER bah...

:D

[chucky69]

WHY ASK FEMALES> U should know better. U flirted....and something triggered the situation..... "WHAT YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO BETTER " has been the altitude of both sexes.

MOVE ON......

[gobal100]

i think bro moved on. i also can't take it when my wife followed another guy into the taxi. till i surpass them then my wife know is my car. i never unfaithful to her. i just tell her let get on with our life. but that not the main problem why i parted with her. we should know what we wanted in life. if not you are at a lost like now. that few moment i following her i feel sucks worst in the earth noone to tell so shame to say it out.

[damienlkw]

Thanks for all your honest opinions. My kids are still very young, I still need someone to look after them. I guess she's still the right person for the job.

Anyway, I am staying focus in life and my work. I know deep down my mind that she's still doing things that I don't even wish to know, but I am doing my best to channel all my energy to my kids. I know she's still having fun outside, cos I find no reason for her to wear g-string for her work in skirt. And best for all, she ever complaints to me that she don't like wearing g-string bcos of the discomfort. So why is the changes now? Think ladies here know best?

damienlkw :(

[nishikado]

never allow betrayal.

one sentence, what goes round comes around.

she betray you , willing to give up. that man will see it too, and give up on her too.

[Tai_zi21]

I agree with 1 bro here never allow betrayal

no matter how much i love a gal,if she wan to leave mi for another guy...

i will let her go...

as wat i mention always,i can forgive but it doesn't mean i can forget

[Softcore]

By forgiving but not forgetting, you will only deepen your misery and affect future relationships.

The answer is not to not forget, but to embrace every new relationship with both childlike wonder and revered wisdom.

never allow betrayal.

one sentence, what goes round comes around.

she betray you , willing to give up. that man will see it too, and give up on her too.

This is not always true, and depends on the circumstances.

I know of a woman who left her husband for another man. They are now happily together.

[uobboss]

Is she a materalistic women ?
Were u already rich when u known her ?

I know of few women who married to enjoy tai tai lifestyle and kept small white face . They get their comfort from you and feeling of being "love" from others .

[Xgenre]

Women's Charter, there I said it.

1. If you get divorced, it's likely that the cheating bitch (CB) will get custody. You won't get to see your kids much even if our stupid courts give you weekly access. You know why? Because the in-laws and CB will bad-mouth you during the rest of the week. As long as you are meeting the kids, they will stress out the kids until the kids don't wish to see you. Seeing daddy? Never happy. Then out of the love for your kids, you will stop seeing them to spare them of the mental torture. Almost every guy in this situation will end up with the following words: 'THE KIDS ARE INNOCENT. I SHOULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THEM SUFFER MORE.'

2. What does she work as? If she's a housewife, you are in deep trouble. Besides paying for child maintenance, you need to upkeep her current lifestyle. Guess who she's going to spend your money on? That's right. The other guy. She will also have a 50% share of your assets accumulated after marriage? If i were you, I will try to hide my money now. Give cash to people I can trust.

3. What's worse? That she cheated or you might miss out on your children's growing up years? If I were you, I may close one eye. Join the SBF Married men club man... Fuck FL outside to satisfy yourself. Get a FB.

4. Please remember that the courts don't view divorce as fault-based. She might have cheated on you but she remains the mother of the kids. Mother always the biggest, regardless of what the mother does. A lot of ignorant guys think that just because it's her fault, the judge will be fair during the divorce. How wrong that is... In a crime, a thief pays for his crime when he steals. He suffers by spending time in jail. In a divorce, the husband pays when his wife cheats on him. He suffers by spending the rest of his children's growing up years away from them.

Divorce is probably the best thing for HER now. She continues to get money from you. She can openly see the other guy now. Why reward her for being unfaithful?

5. Get a PI to gather evidence. Maybe the judge might give lesser alimony. But more importantly, when the kids become adults who can think, you have evidence to show them that the failed marriage isn't your fault. That Daddy isn't the mean and bad person that Mummy says he is.

6. Last option. Don't use it unless desperate. If you aren't happy, why should they be? Use the evidence of the affair (from PI) to confront them. Go to the guy's house. Are you sure his wife knows and approves? (Since she said she knows his family). Stand outside and shout out so that the neighbours may hear. The police may come but I think you will just get a warning since there is a reason why you are doing this. Just tell the police you are doing this because you love your wife and the kids need both parents around to grow up healthy. Do it at his office or his wife's office too. Add pressure by letting people in their world know. Trust me, gossip kills love. Everyone will remember this stain in that guy forever.

Objective of the move: It takes 2 hands to clap. If the 3rd party stays away from your wife as a result, that affair will fail. She may not return to you but at least you are not in the situation where she's happy and you are not. But she might really finalise the divorce as a result. Another thing, don't ever agree to back-date the period of separation. The sooner your divorce gets finalised, the sooner you will see lesser of your children.

[DoItRight]

Bro...Move on. A woman who can go out and flirt around and not even care for her children is not fit to be your wife or mother. I am sure you will find someone better and worthy of your love and affections!

Good luck to you!

[Tits & Nipples]

Bro Xgenre has it all thought out and is logical in his reply... you should seriously consider his opinions.

[Johnston]

Hi ladies,

Guys, this is my life encounter that I wish to share with you too, if you r interested. I am married for 20 plus years with two kids. I shared basicall every things with my wife. Even here in sammyboyforum here, what happened to me is sometime that I dont understand at all.

Maybe will some of you ladies can share how a woman thinks. Few years back, I was travelling in and out of Singapore at least 2 to 3 times a year for my business. Naturely, I do flich when oversea just for entertainment because its a social norm for my clients and they guide the business on how in sync we are.

,

Flich? Flinch? Flirt? Fuck>? :D
1) Have you cheated on her before?
2) This is karma coming back to you if you have.

Maybe you never know it, but your wife is the clever sorts and long ago she know you go SBF, maybe got whatever news you tar pau. Then of course human nature is You can do, i also can do.....

If you really have cheated on her previously, you must think FIVE before start any court cse or anything else... wait u pull out all your evidence on her, she also pull out the evidence on YOU. Then we are set for a Drama type situation....:eek:

[alanben]

Bro get a PI to check on her if she is cheating outside use that for a divorce n u dun need to pay her anything.

[Vincent4499]

Hi Bros,

You might have sent a wrong signal to your wife as she is aware of the enteraintment when you go oversea and also you visit SBF.

If you and your wife can share such info on SBF together, i am sure you both
are very close in relationship. It still puszzel me why she did this to you.

It will be best that She and you have to sit down and discuss in details of the event and see what went wrong.

Honestly, it might be you not showing enough care or love for her as you have your own business..etc so problem lay with which party is still not known.

Take a deeper step to discuss over it caresfully with your wife.

Hope the best of luck.

[Dunhill_11]

As a guy, not everything you can share with your wife. Unless you kanna face to face, if not never admit.
I do believe when you don't love someone, you don't even want to lie to her anymore, maybe that's how she feels.

[Elwina]

Dear TS,

I think it is time you can sit down and figure out what went wrong i your marriage. Marriage is build up on trust and feel. Giving yourself the reason of to stay syncronized with your fellow clients doesn't necessary potray yourself to be on the same boat as them. In fact i do have clients who are impressed with my collegue who refused "snacking" saying that he is a very trustworty and loyal person.

To be able to share all with your other half is a good thing most females would appreciate the kind of special bond inbetween. For any females to have a change of heart especially with kids in the picture.

Have you done anything to change her totally? Anything to make her heart sink so low to leave you?

IF you still love her, i am sure there are some stuff you could do to bring her back. However please keep in mind that if either party strays there will be chances of straying again. IF you are staying status quo for the time being for the sake of your kids, hint to your kids to see if they are aware of what is going on. For the kids to bear this "issue" in their mentality is not healthy for their upbringing and who knows they might be happier in time to come.

For the sake of yourself , your kids and your straying spouse, choose the correct path to take and whatever comments all the brothers and sisters are giving you do not take into consideration just choose your path yourself because life is yours and i believe all the brothers and sisters here wouldn't wanna be blamed for any nasty outcome..


good luck

El