Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

[born_mean]

Bros,

Never thought about this until a real life situation strikes close. A PRC girlfriend (non WL) has been tested positive, got it from her lived-in SG boyfriend who apparently cheong Thai WLs. She's heart-broken and near suscidal.

I'm just wondering would any bros here ever consider maintaining sexual relationship with someone HIV +ve, of couse with the necessary protection, ie CONDOMS at all times (including oral)?

To me, it's almost liked playing with death...but I have actually known of angmohs with their Thai girlfriends (whom are HIV +ve). Crazy but true!

Any thoughts?

BM

[etct88]

Bros,

Never thought about this until a real life situation strikes close. A PRC girlfriend (non WL) has been tested positive, got it from her lived-in SG boyfriend who apparently cheong Thai WLs. She's heart-broken and near suscidal.

I'm just wondering would any bros here ever consider maintaining sexual relationship with someone HIV +ve, of couse with the necessary protection, ie CONDOMS at all times (including oral)?

To me, it's almost liked playing with death...but I have actually known of angmohs with their Thai girlfriends (whom are HIV +ve). Crazy but true!

Any thoughts?

BM


This one is invitng funny conny remarks from Sam..... interesting to see his comments.

I would be in the same line of what he says.....

[born_mean]

This one is invitng funny conny remarks from Sam..... interesting to see his comments.

I would be in the same line of what he says.....

Bro, u seems to have deep insights into Sam'a thoughts.

Care to share...funny corny regardless.

:D BM

[Flinger2]

Bros,

Never thought about this until a real life situation strikes close. A PRC girlfriend (non WL) has been tested positive, got it from her lived-in SG boyfriend who apparently cheong Thai WLs. She's heart-broken and near suscidal.

I'm just wondering would any bros here ever consider maintaining sexual relationship with someone HIV +ve, of couse with the necessary protection, ie CONDOMS at all times (including oral)?

To me, it's almost liked playing with death...but I have actually known of angmohs with their Thai girlfriends (whom are HIV +ve). Crazy but true!

Any thoughts?

BM


Hi Bro,

This is a very personal choice. but if you want to find out more, I would suggest you visit the the body website. They have a category specifically on this topic. I think they call them "Magnetic couples" or something like that.

You can read other people's question on similar questions and the advice given to them.

Hope this helps.

Flinger

[born_mean]

Hi Bro,

This is a very personal choice. but if you want to find out more, I would suggest you visit the the body website. They have a category specifically on this topic. I think they call them "Magnetic couples" or something like that.

You can read other people's question on similar questions and the advice given to them.

Hope this helps.

Flinger

Wah pardon my ignorance....you mean there's a whole forum on this already? Look's liked this is not such a rarity as I first presumed.

Thanks for the tip...i'll go check it out.

:) BM

[toiletmarquis]

i rather screw my 60yrs old virgin cleaning old woman neighbour than taking this risk:o

[Flinger2]

Wah pardon my ignorance....you mean there's a whole forum on this already? Look's liked this is not such a rarity as I first presumed.

Thanks for the tip...i'll go check it out.

:) BM

Yup, there is a lot of such cases, but most of the time, its between married couples or long term committed relationships or people who have fallen in love emotionally and later find out their partner is HIV+ .

Not so much about WL or FL or sex buddies etc..

[Flinger2]

i rather screw my 60yrs old virgin cleaning old woman neighbour than taking this risk:o

You believe a woman who says she is virgin till she is 60. heh you must be really naive and believe anything people say.

Anyway, its not about having sex with FL or WL or one nigthers etc..

Its about someone you love and have feelings for, what would you do?

You tell the person, you have HIV, bye get lost of my life I guess.

[mike1304k]

You believe a woman who says she is virgin till she is 60. heh you must be really naive and believe anything people say.

Anyway, its not about having sex with FL or WL or one nigthers etc..

Its about someone you love and have feelings for, what would you do?

You tell the person, you have HIV, bye get lost of my life I guess.

What Bro Flinger said is true. The statement from TS was that his friend who is a girl from PRC tested positive for HIV because her boyfren played with Thai girls or something to that extent.

I am assuming that TS means whether the girl is to stay with her boy... and not that he wants to now move in and tackle the girl even though she is HIV positive.

In most cases, living with a HIV positive person is really very very hard. Even if you are not infected, you have to be careful not to get infected because this will also mean a death sentence from you. I have heard of stories where one party has AIDS and the other party still cares for and looks after the infected party. If both parties are already infected, then it will also be a choice of whether the person who was infected by the guy who f**cked around can accept that fact and also death sentence and forgive him.

I also do not think that once you have contracted the virus, having sex is going to be very high on your agenda. (some may say before they die, they wanna have the last banzai) I am sure that you will be wanting to spend time and effort seeking treatment, trying to arrest further progression of the disease and so on... And also I think that most HIV couples will start to enjoy being together and each other's care and comfort instead of thinking when the next bonk is going to happen.

But no matter what the possible combination of who forgives who and so on, the very fact that both parties are positive will entail the responsibility of them being open to other sexual partners and informing any of them of the possibility of the sexual partners contracting HIV.

[Flinger2]

In most cases, living with a HIV positive person is really very very hard. Even if you are not infected, you have to be careful not to get infected because this will also mean a death sentence from you.

Hi Bro,

I just wanted to highlight that been HIV+ is not a death sentence as it used to be be in the 80's . There are now medicine that can help you lead a normal life. Read about people who have been on medicine for more than 20 yrs.

However, it definitely alters the way you live your life as your lifestyle has to change . If you are not married and want to have kids, its going to be a problem, easy to catch illness, taking pills everyday for the rest of your life, side effects of the pills you take, financial costs of medical bills , etc...etc...etc...

Ultimately, the worst would be the stigma that society attributes to you.

[Panamera]

Better understanding and awareness of this lethal disease will help to educate the infected patient's families and the public, to treat these patients without discrimination, extending them gratitude, respect and love, helping them to walk their short remaining life journey.

[born_mean]

Hi Bro,

Ultimately, the worst would be the stigma that society attributes to you.

Totally with you on that....

I started this topic as I felt kinda strange draw to this PRC gal. But knowing full well it's just my stupid small head talking!!!

Luckily big head still in control...but i started wondering whether there are people out there who might just proceed despite the obvious risks! Went to those websites on "magnetic couples" and it really blew my mind. However, as you have pointed out, these are more for long-term committed couples. If only for FBs is just not worth it!!!

Have been reading alot of HIV stats lately and it seems there are more cases in SG then what is being officially reported. I'm retiring from commercial sex and FBs for now :eek:

BM

[tuxedosam]

i'm not sure if samsters are familiar with the LGBT scene, but there is an interesting phenomenon called bugchasing within gay circles, which basically entails deliberately seeking to infect oneself with the HIV virus. conversely, the reverse behaviour for the infecting party is known as giftgiving.

it actually isn't that perplexing a choice. given the already higher rates of HIV infection amongst gay men or even MSMs, as well as the community's wide-spread penchant for barebacking, chances are that you're actually quite likely to be exposed to the virus at some point in time, particularly if your lifestyle already includes a variety of ultra-high-risk activities. given the perceived 'inevitability' of infection, bugchasing is, to some individuals, a measure of control and self-empowerment. if you're gonna get seroconverted eventually anyway, at least let it be on your terms and at an opportunity of your choosing.

on top of that, bugchasing is like the ultimate embodiment of fluid bonding. one shares and exchanges bodily fluids, down to the viruses that they carry. to some, there is something compelling, sexy, romantic and deeply touching in that. though it has to be said that most bugchasing isn't really done under the umbrella of a concept of 'love' or 'monogamy'.

i've not come across an approximate equivalent in straight culture though. even within the swinger community, there is nothing analogous or even close. but i will not be surprised if some rare examples exists in the straight-scape, though probably within the context of a close-ended, monogamous relationship more than anything. i guess bugchasing and giftgiving also arose outta specific if complex socio-cultural contexts that do not really apply to most straight folks. it's just another choice ultimately, i guess.

anyway, HIV isn't quite the death sentence that it used to be perceived to be. with highly active antiretroviral therapy (HAART), the average life span of infected persons has been shown to be dramatically improved. still, kinks remain and the treatment regime doesn't seem to work as well on everyone. it is also, undeniably, an expensive course of treatment.

one thing to note though. due to the significant genetic variability demonstrated by the HIV virus, prior infection does not guarantee against repeated infections, unlike many other viruses. while coinfections are not uncommon, there is also a possibility of reinfection or superinfection, especially if it involves a more genetically distant strain. unfortunately, multiple infections are also associated with more rapid disease progression and increased mortality rates. which is probably why the practice of barebacking appears to have such lethal consequences, whether these acts are associated with active bugchasing or not.

all this might sound like irresponsible behaviour but i'd rather not judge if i don't or can't really understand. how many of us samsters can claim to have an intimate knowledge of the ins and outs of the LBGT scene anyway? whatever the case may be, if you are frightened, protect yourself. keep the rubber on or just be faithfully monogamous (or abstain altogether). HIV and AIDS are not gonna go away anytime soon. we all have to learn to live with the scourge of this deadly, debilitating disease in our midst. and that definitely includes treating HIV-positive individuals as the wonderful and flawed human beings each and every one of us is.

[NewandLost]

you want to risk your life because you want to pork some china girl with HIV? why not just get a gun and shoot yourself? it would be less miserable. forget that girl.

[FL Lover]

Treat her as a friend still ok. But to go further than that including sexual relationship with protections require lots of courages and strengths.

As we know although HIV is not as deadly as before with current medications to prolong the lifespan of the person. It still remains uncurable.

TS, better stay outside the danger zone and remain as friends.

[citiclubsg]

me stay far far away from them.........

[Savanna]

I had a PRC GF many years ago. She came back from work one day and was in tears... I asked her why was she crying? She told me that she took a HIV test and the results was HIV. Well... the rest of the night we didnt talk much.. as we were still in shock and probably wondering how long we were going to live...

Night passed and Morning came, still in disbelief, I took her Medical Certificate to have a look. Yes... there was a Chop stating HIV Positive or Negative.

I looked again and realised she misread the report... HAIZ!!! It was actually HIV Negative!!! After telling her she misread the report... she called the Clinic twice to comfirm and double confirm... :D:D:D

Thank God it is Negative!!! After that experience, I learnt to be more careful and settle for V Gfs!!! Prevention is Better than Cure!!!

Back to TS question...

I Suppose if my gf and I were in the same boat, I think we would still be together until Kingdom come!

[izerkudie]

bro TS, it is said that, condom is very safe, but theres always a "risk" but to be "safe than to be sorry" i would not continue any sexual r/s or risking myself to get affected by it, crude as it is..to each his own, god only help those who help themselves..life is short, play hard, but never risk hard bro ts :D

[born_mean]

I had a PRC GF...Thank God it is Negative!!! After that experience, I learnt to be more careful and settle for V Gfs!!! Prevention is Better than Cure!!!
ck to TS question...

I Suppose if my gf and I were in the same boat, I think we would still be together until Kingdom come!

Bro...a bit curious about ur comment on "V Gfs". I'm assuming u meant Vietnamese GFs. How does that equate to being "more careful"?

If I din mis-interprete, are you saying Vietnamese are "safer" breed in comparison to PRC in terms of HIV infection? :eek:

:confused: BM

[born_mean]

bro TS, it is said that, condom is very safe, but theres always a "risk" but to be "safe than to be sorry" i would not continue any sexual r/s or risking myself to get affected by it, crude as it is..to each his own, god only help those who help themselves..life is short, play hard, but never risk hard bro ts :D

Agree. I'm now maintaining only platonic relationship with this gal bcos I do not want her to sink into depression and do something silly. As mentioned in my starting post, she was suscidal then. Thankfully she has since calmed down a fair bit and at least resume some normalcy in her life, if that's even possible in reality :eek:

This true-life episode really woke me up and currently I'm still happily retired from commercial sex. Keeping my big head in control over small head :D

Thanks for the many comments from Bros here...opened my eyes to many things which I was so naively oblivious to :o

Cheers, BM

[Snuber]

Bro...a bit curious about ur comment on "V Gfs". I'm assuming u meant Vietnamese GFs. How does that equate to being "more careful"?
He should be referring to "Virgin" gfs lah...... :D

[born_mean]

He should be referring to "Virgin" gfs lah...... :D

OIC....read somewhere that a survey done in South Africa ("rape capital") one of the excuses given by those rapists is because "virgins are HIV-free" :eek:

Not implying anything here so Bro dun take offense...again just wondering aloud even if this "method" works, it will work for the first time only and after that "de-flowering" exercise, you still need to stay monogamous. Unless you engage in serial "de-flowering" :D Must be very yan dao + charming + young dashing personalitiy to be able to achieve this, at least according to my limited experiences in Virgin MMs.

Cheers,
BM

[Flinger2]

The question is how do you "spot" a virgin?

You ask if the girl is virgin? What if she lied to you and she has HIV?

[Flinger2]

Hi Born Mean and all bros.

Here is a reply from a doctor specializing in HIV responding to another person who requested for help. Although this is about anal, this is also applicable for vaginal sex. I thought this would clarify the issue been discussed here.

-----------------------------

"Unprotected receptive anal sex carries the highest per-act statistical risk for sexual HIV transmission. As for "protected" receptive anal sex, this is indeed considered "protected" if the latex condom is used properly and does not fail (break). HIV cannot permeate intact latex (or polyurethane). No way. No how.

There are unfortunately far too many folks who don't know how to use a condom properly. In addition condoms, even properly used, can very rarely fail (break).

Consequently, rather than say condom-protected sex is "safe," we prefer to say it's "safer." "

[born_mean]

Update on the gal status...maybe off-topic.

Apparently she went for some anonymous counselling and was told if she manage to get married here, wait 1-2 years and then declare kena HIV from husband (which I suppose both must go for those MOH registered HIV test), it is possible to get PR status here. Not sure how true is this, any bros can shed light on this? :confused:

Seems boyfriend willing to marry her (wow this guy i salute! at least responsible type). So maybe there's a good end in sight...:) I sincerely hope thing's work out for them. But living with HIV is really tough with all the social stigma attached...haiz.

BM

[mike1304k]

Bro Born_Mean,

You have really earned my respect. In the beginning, I thought you were just another dick head driven by his small head, but as this thread evolved, I see that you have changed your views very admirably and I would really like to say "Well Done".

In this world, there are many people who are worse off than us in many ways you cannot imagine. Your friend was one of those. HIV and AIDS may be a social stigma and it is surely a deadly disease. No one will want to ever be given a living death sentence. The cost of it will also be expensive as the drugs to control it has to be taken long term and is not cheap.

Whether you love her or you just care for her, it is important to know that this is a gift to her. It is an unconditional gift. It is like making a dying person feel better. I wish you strength and also fortitude in your endeavours.

[mike1304k]

To the Zap Happy guy who took me -3, I hope you enjoyed yourself. Do not try to find any reason jus to zap people any how hor? And that statement "Mad ah! Unconditional gift", I know that you are small and insecure. You have never loved anyone truly and will most probably be unable to enjoy or realize what unconditional love is.

No matter whether it is HIV or cancer or some other terminal disease, if you love someone, it is not for the sex or the physical attraction, but the want to make the other party happy. In the time of need, one does not need a fuck or a kiss or a hug, but someone who is there to listen, a shoulder to cry on and or just being there. TS started off thinking of bonking her, then he wanted a platonic relationship and now when his girl may marry the guy who gave her HIV, he respects the guy and wishes them happiness.

So please happy zapper, do go on zapping. That is all you can do. If this is the only contribution you can give to this forum, I pity you.

Unlike other people who value their points... come and zap me to negative. I dare you! I am and will always be me and will always be happy with my life and my family. I do not get cheap thrills from this forum.

[mike1304k]

To the happy zapper... I got upped 5 and u zapped me -3 again... and you put "sibei childish". Bro... Who is the one being childish? Like I said, I dare you to zap me -ve... Not zero... NEGATIVE! I will still come back and post because my post is not nonsense. I do not care about points. Even if I am being moderated and it takes me 24hrs before my post is shown, my insights will still be shown. So come on man... zap me all you can man... Please make me your main target and the target of all your clones. Put your nick lah... I will not zap u back... In fact I will up you! All the brothers here know me and know I do not talk shit or engage in zapping. Come and zap all you like...

[GLHunter]

Update on the gal status...maybe off-topic.

Apparently she went for some anonymous counselling and was told if she manage to get married here, wait 1-2 years and then declare kena HIV from husband (which I suppose both must go for those MOH registered HIV test), it is possible to get PR status here. Not sure how true is this, any bros can shed light on this? :confused:

Seems boyfriend willing to marry her (wow this guy i salute! at least responsible type). So maybe there's a good end in sight...:) I sincerely hope thing's work out for them. But living with HIV is really tough with all the social stigma attached...haiz.

BM

foreigner diagnosed with hiv will not be able to re-enter singapore again once they left..

[born_mean]

Update on the gal status...maybe off-topic.

Seems boyfriend willing to marry her (wow this guy i salute! at least responsible type). So maybe there's a good end in sight...:) I sincerely hope thing's work out for them. But living with HIV is really tough with all the social stigma attached...haiz.

BM

More updates....not good turn of events though.

SG boyfriend reneged on promise to take care of HIV gal and worse, found another PRC girlfriend and kick HIV gal out (bastard!!!) :mad: Heart-broken HIV gal went back to Mainland and is now starting her life over all. Except that she cannot get meds + treatment for her HIV in China. I understand there is no guarantee of confidentiality in Mainland and risk of persecution is high :eek:

I seek bros here "in-the-know" for advice on the following:

- i heard there is good meds+treatment for HIV in Thailand, is this true and any address (can PM me if sensitive)

- any way we can "alert" the authorities here anomymously to the asshole boyfriend who in my view is a menance to society. Given his past behaviour, I do not think he has informed his sexual partners about his HIV condition.

I am still in contact with the HIV gal and i'm trying to help her get proper treatment. I will send her the info as she is clueless and desperately alone given her conditions.

Many thanks in advance,
BM

[Uniman]

Both HIV + then k lao, otherwise only normal friend enough

TS think no one here can advise you, you will be your own expert through times

[Starsailor]

More updates....not good turn of events though.

SG boyfriend reneged on promise to take care of HIV gal and worse, found another PRC girlfriend and kick HIV gal out (bastard!!!)
- any way we can "alert" the authorities here anomymously to the asshole boyfriend who in my view is a menance to society. Given his past behaviour, I do not think he has informed his sexual partners about his HIV condition.

I am still in contact with the HIV gal and i'm trying to help her get proper treatment. I will send her the info as she is clueless and desperately alone given her conditions.

Many thanks in advance,
BM

Bro,

It is a crime here when u know u are HIV positive and you do not inform your sexual partner. Note, i say sexual as it must be known that they are intimate and the guy did not tell the girl. U might want to ask ur friend if he had already know he have hiv when he was still sleeping with her.

Another way is you can alert MOH or the police if you suspect that his present PRC gf dunno that he has HIV. Authorities will take action.

Maybe your friend needs to come back and make a police report, and then at the same time declaring her condition. Maybe the police might go question him and the new PRC gf. Its a risk she may have to face to go public with her condition to expose him, as the Government protects the identity of HIV patients.

Hope this helps.

[newbieboy]

i have gay friends with HIV (sorry to perpetuate the stereotype, but anal sex does increase the odds, and condoms were not designed for that purpose, so they tell me it isn't comfortable at all) and yes, they regularly fly to Thailand for cheap treatment. need someone who can speak english to navigate around though. never asked them about the treatment, but yes it is very much cheaper there.

also, as another bro has mentioned, with proper treatment, they might even outlive some of us. except for a slight reduction in immunity, the effects of HIV won't show until the golden years. one of my friends i've known for 8 years, and he is healthier today than he was 8 years ago. all the best to your PRC friend.

[lelele]

they might even outlive some of us. except for a slight reduction in immunity, the effects of HIV won't show until the golden years.

really ? i think they will die within 5 - 10 years time :rolleyes:

[newbieboy]

really ? i think they will die within 5 - 10 years time :rolleyes:

well, you're obviously ignorant and uninformed. you're probably also a presumptuous dick. :rolleyes:

[longwinter]

well, you're obviously ignorant and uninformed. you're probably also a presumptuous dick. :rolleyes:

hmm but bro, just a question...

if wear condom, and go for anal sex, is it still very dangerous?

[khan111]

I thought its a crime if you are HIV+ and u engage in sexual activities without informing the other party?

[S.B.Y]

To the happy zapper... I got upped 5 and u zapped me -3 again... and you put "sibei childish". Bro... Who is the one being childish? Like I said, I dare you to zap me -ve... Not zero... NEGATIVE! I will still come back and post because my post is not nonsense. I do not care about points. Even if I am being moderated and it takes me 24hrs before my post is shown, my insights will still be shown. So come on man... zap me all you can man... Please make me your main target and the target of all your clones. Put your nick lah... I will not zap u back... In fact I will up you! All the brothers here know me and know I do not talk shit or engage in zapping. Come and zap all you like...

Pak Prez here can OFFICIALLY state that Mas Mike1304k has always posted valuable insights.

PaK P has also benefitted from most of his perspectives

Mas mike1304k You have PaK P's full support

[Xdecepticon]

Pak Prez here can OFFICIALLY state that Mas Mike1304k has always posted valuable insights.

PaK P has also benefitted from most of his perspectives

Mas mike1304k You have PaK P's full support

Going thru bro born_mean thread, teres indeed substance in his post.

I second tat, P President, most powerful man in Indon. :p