How to know if Your Wife is Cheating on You?? [Archive]

pl94

19-05-2009, 01:58 PM

Hello Brothers and Fellow SBForummers..

Been married for more than 5 years.. My wife is average looking.. not too bad la.. i can say abt 7.5/10.. depends on individuals... She's not for someone who's into big boobs, but she sure has a damn perky ass... She's one of those Executive OL you can see at Raffles Place..

Recently, she has been dressing very well to work, to the extent of being sexy n revealing some times... even putting on make-up.. she had never done this before.. Our sex life is just average.. i'm those active type who dont mind doing it daily, but she's always complaining she's tired and will be happy with once a week.. she's those conservative type.. however lately, she has been very vocal n open.. even being slutty while we are having sex.. tat's certainly a surprise to me.. Like yesterday, i was teasing her with my tongue out.. then she asked me.. "how come all guys when teasing like to take their tongue out?" ... HUH?? What's that suppose to mean??

Am i being overly suspicious?? Or is she dressing up for someone at office?? Is she really tired with work at office.. or is she tired after doing 'it' with someone else?? The main thing.. Is she having an AFFAIR or a SCANDAL???

Seek advice from brothers here... Thanks in advance.

hun2ter

19-05-2009, 05:35 PM

Just ask her
Got means got
no means no

just like when she ask you , do you fuck around ?

you sure say NO

no means no la
Yes also say no la

charsiew

19-05-2009, 05:41 PM

totally agree with bro hun2ter :p

telling the truth will not only contribute to more headaches
but also lead to heartaches too.

so what do you want to hear?

duothrust

19-05-2009, 05:46 PM

fuckshit

19-05-2009, 06:07 PM

Bro,

Honest confrontation is one way, but it depends on the status of your relationship. Women when they are just starting out on their escapades will not come clean with you. Actually, neither will a man in the same situation. If there are fresh hurts and disappointments that have in the first place driven her to stray, then her "unfaithfulness" is her way of dealing with these hurts.

Some people would take these matters to a counsellor before they fester and get out of hand. In the long run, confession and heart-to-heart talk have helped people patch their marriages back, albeit the external help has to be introduced early.

The other way to find if she is cuckolding you of course is to move on the sly. If you can suspend your own gumption for a moment, then you could check her handbag, wallet, to look for receipts, even condoms. Check also her handphone for guys who could be calling her more often than usual.

I once knew a guy who worked with his wife at the same place. He suspected she was fucking a colleague, so he did his own Sherlock Holmes. True enough, he found used condoms in his waste paper basket, and pills in his wife's purse. Thing is, he had never seen her use pills the whole time they were together.

So bro, I understand your suspicion especially when your wife starts doing things that are out of the norm. I hate to say this, but someone could well be flirting with her and teasing her with his tongue at her workplace. Perhaps she is enjoying it. Then again, I don't know you, and your wife, so I'm not sure how predisposed she is to such naughty gestures. Does she all along have close friends who do this kind of teasing? Or has she all of a sudden become "liberal"?

There are many reasons why women dress up. Tell her the next time you go shopping with her that you noticed she has put in effort lately in her dressing. See what she says. More importantly, observe her body language.

Action speaks louder than words

Summit

19-05-2009, 06:18 PM

First and Foremost, Do you want her and still loves her ? Are you able to live the rest of your life without her ?

If you still wants to cheerish the marriage, dun try to find out for more details. Try to examine yourself and see if you could win her over. Those stuff you had posted are tell tale sign for you to confirm them ( Dun try to confirm them ).

Suggest a short holidays and pamper her within your means ( dun overdo it ). Give her soothing massage as brother here suggest and see if you can win her heart over. Make her feels guilty towards you and make yourself an asset to her. Initiate some romance and spice up your sex life with her.

If she is not critical to your life ( nothing mention about your kids, if any ), Go ahead and find out and dump her for betraying you ( But have you betrayed her ? ). Buy a secret recorder and tape the phone conversation ( may be obselete by now ). Visit her at her work place for lunch and see if she is awkward about it. Keep her company after work and weekends, go shopping and see if her HP phone keeps ringing with incomning calls. One week is enough for you to find out.

Take your picks ..

LentorGarden

19-05-2009, 06:26 PM

The truth hurts at times. TS, have u ever wondered if its just your imagination? Sometimes what you see might no be what you imagine it to be.

antoniobilly

19-05-2009, 07:20 PM

When she comes home with a long smile - cause she just had an organism

Incubus_101

19-05-2009, 07:50 PM

Sometimes when I read stories like these.It really deters me from having any deep emotional relationships with anyone.Maybe we should all train our mind to think like our infamous Mr Peterpan :D

hotsoup16

19-05-2009, 09:03 PM

When she comes home with a long smile - cause she just had an organism

u got nothing better to say??? dun come in and disturb other's thread

ezguyez

19-05-2009, 09:05 PM

TS,

maybe you can check if her pocket $$ has increased or decreased.

If increase = She is FL-ing
If decrese = She is having a "little white face"

If remain the same, get PI to follow.

gunner77

19-05-2009, 10:26 PM

bro this is the permisson for u to play outside

cheongsterjon

19-05-2009, 10:53 PM

If you really finds out that she has been cheating on you (which I hope not), why not take it the other way round. Just take her as a sex object, avoid emotions attached to her and just use her solely for fucking. Go look for other ladies (there are many out there) and once in a while go find FLs WLs to release stress..

EricssonMan

19-05-2009, 11:05 PM

Totally agreed.....fair & square

needtofuck

19-05-2009, 11:12 PM

Do you want to know the truth ?
CAn you handle the truth ??????

But one the other hand one do need the truth........and it normally hurts......:(

softtime

19-05-2009, 11:12 PM

I guess first and foremost, you will have to run through the possible scenarios in your head. If what she is doing is troubling you a lot.

1) Are you ready to accept (upon confirmation - thru PI,confrontation, etc) the truth?

2) What is next? (moving forward- do you want a divorce? - use this as an official excuse for your personal outing? - if you have kids, what about them?)

Its important that you have thought through these scenarios before lighting the fire, cause you don't want to be making decisions that affects your life, her life, the kids life, based on emotions.

(I understand that it is easier said than to do the above, I hope you get the answers that you really wish for.)

Oralcraz

19-05-2009, 11:14 PM

1. Abnormal "working hours". 2. Behave secretive when using HP. 3. Nice scent even after a long day's work. 4. Neglect yr sexual needs. 5. Temperamental (sudden change of emotion). 6. Changes in dressing/make-up.

Depending on individual, some bro's suggest not finding out but for me, I would definitely check it out immediately. I believe the sooner u know, the sooner problem can be resolved. If delay, problem may become more complicated. If want to find out, must do it secretly. No wifey is going to confess about an affair (if it is true). Usually, wife will only confess if caught face to face. I had two friends with wifey having affair some years back. Caught red handed, one at home car park, one on the streets after tailing wifey. Both confessed. Both friends forgave wifey. Till today, family still intact. So is yr call. Good luck.

peter69on

19-05-2009, 11:17 PM

{how come all guys when teasing like to take their tongue out?" ... HUH?? What's that suppose to mean??}

I think she accidentally slip out some info.
Should be more careful.

hi bro, you need to do something.
go and Find what you are lacking that can caused her to be attracted by another guy.

Your wife may had found someone she is attracted to. And that guy probably is going all out.
you got a challenger

peanut123

19-05-2009, 11:28 PM

Since she is your wife, I think you HAVE to find out. If she's innocent, you can feel relieved and put ur mind to rest. If she's guilty, you have to decide if you want to salvage the situation or divorce her. Either way, you MUST know.

Easiest way is to hire a private investigator to tail her and check if she's meeting someone else. He can provide evidence so you can confront her or use it for divorce proceedings.

If not, there are other ways you can track her. If she drives, or carries a big handbag, you can drop a GPS data logger into her bag or car unnoticed. This device ( eg as discussed in GpsPasSion Forums - [TOPIC] iBlue 747A+ - GPS Datalogger with AGPS (http://www.gpspassion.com/forumsen/topic.asp?topic_id=119984) ) is small, about the size of a matchbox. It functions for 30 hours on 1 charge, and records her travels. Unlike normal GPS devices, it works even if you hide it in the boot or glove compartment of the car. Just retrieve it at the end of the day and connect it to your laptop, and it will show you where she has been the entire day, and how long she spents at each place. so if you see her car at Hotel 81 for 2 hours, you know what's up.

another way is to put your handphone to silent mode and auto-answer, and find some excuse to put it into her purse or handbag. Just call the handphone and you should be able to hear her without her knowing or suspecting. If she's banging someone or talking sweet nothings to a man, you should be able to hear it.

check her SMS folders, email acct, or MSN. Install a key logger so that it logs what she types into the computer. Copy her entire email data ( for outlook, it would be a PST file in her Documents and Settings directory ) to your own laptop, and you can read it at your leisure as long as she didn't encrypt it, and most people don't.

I think 2 things stand out :
1. Change in behavior, which usually happens if something significant happens, like meeting another person she likes. But even if she likes another guy, she might not have done anything, as guilt or love for you might stop her.
2. Her unthinking comment that all guys stick out their tongues when fooling with women. This I think is a biggie. How the hell does she know that ? If she knew this from her ex-boyfriends, then why wait 5 years to make this comment ? Most likely she discovered this trait only recently. Could be from a movie perhaps ? Or from what her friends told her, or could be from personal experience with another man ?

Good luck.

tubbyt

19-05-2009, 11:29 PM

Bro pl94,

Tricky question to answer. But here's an observation. given the change in behavior and deviation from the usual style, it is human to suspect something. But suspecting that the wife is cheating on you is already forming a preconceived conclusion. By doing this you will find evidence to support that belief, whether it is valid or not. What you need to to right now is to be objective. I know, easier said than done.

My two cents worth....... look at it from the angle of figuring out what caused the change. You may be right in your suspicion but it could be chalked up to a change in mindset or a decision to be more assertive. Take a little more time to find out the truth before you do anything.

Best case scenario, it's all a harmless misunderstanding. Worst case is that you are right, then that brings up a whole different set of questions to think about doesn't it?

Keeping my fingers crossed for you bro.

havana

19-05-2009, 11:48 PM

another way is to put your handphone to silent mode and auto-answer, and find some excuse to put it into her purse or handbag. Just call the handphone and you should be able to hear her without her knowing or suspecting. If she's banging someone or talking sweet nothings to a man, you should be able to hear it.

Didnt think of that:rolleyes: U r a dangerous man!!!!:cool:

gobal100

20-05-2009, 01:02 AM

i am used to go through what you go through but i follow my gf and his friend into a taxi and they go to his house. she say nothing happen but i know for shit there is round 2 right? i forgive her but we still drift away but not for the same reason. When a vase is broken just like r/s then is always a broken line even how good we mend it back. i do not know if you can do it. but if you still love her try to forgive and forget. IF can't only 1 way go for divore but pls get damm evidence so that no need to pay alimony and if got kids and you want them so that they will follow you than your wife. as in singapore woman chapter that protects woman no man even we are in no wrong. pls

amazonr

20-05-2009, 01:21 AM

DarkForceDevil

20-05-2009, 03:36 AM

Have u ever think wat if your wife is truely innocent??? She maybe already some to sense that she need to dress herself up more for u and also to make u look good in front of all her friends and colleague...

Since she already willing to do this, she may also wanna make you more happy on bed by being more naughty... The quote that she said maybe due to wanted to improve on her skill, she went to watch more porn. Just nice those guys inside did wat u did, so she ask...

She's tired cause she's working hard to give u a more relax and enjoyable life by making herself do more stuffs than she usually do...

Have u think wat if wat i said is all true, isnt it unfair to her? She'll definitely be more sad and disappointed in u. As when coming into a relationship/marriage life, trust is very important...

pl94

21-05-2009, 04:21 PM

wow... didnt expect so many replies.. thanks everyone.. will keep my options open...Hire a P.I.. Treat her the same way.. Talk to her straight.. I'l think it over.. thanks again

sexfrenzy

22-05-2009, 02:47 PM

Talking to her straight AFTER you have established something concreate. Otherwise it is going to screw up the relationship outright.

I think if you got a flexible job, try to fake a company overseas trip, staked out and follow her for a few days. If first few days really confirmed the unfortunate, hire an PI ASAP to gather all the evidence before the TALK.

Did that once together with my best pal. Sadly it went to annulment.

Good Luck!

pl94

25-05-2009, 01:08 PM

onlyou

25-05-2009, 02:51 PM

this will not stop the hurt... what if your spouse is innocent? even if she is not, will revenging makes you feel better? she might use the evidence against you in court. remember - she might dig out your so-called revenge while you dont hv any hard evidence against her. Better clear the spouse part before doing anything you might regret in future.

Oralcraz

25-05-2009, 03:02 PM

sigh.. its showing more n more that my wife is cheating on me.. i dont wanna sit still anymore.. will let her have a taste of her own medicine... any bros here can pass me any FL contacts?? would love to try the Cinese O/L tat u guys have been talking about.. thanks

Bro, this is not the way to solve yr problem. Enjoying FL's services is one thing, if yr wife is cheating on you, it is another. Cannot mix the two bro. I think you should resolve you and yr wife problem first. Of course mean time you want to "eat out" is up to you.

sammyboyfor

25-05-2009, 03:13 PM

sigh.. its showing more n more that my wife is cheating on me.. i dont wanna sit still anymore.. will let her have a taste of her own medicine... any bros here can pass me any FL contacts?? would love to try the Cinese O/L tat u guys have been talking about.. thanks

You wanna get your revenge by PAYING for sex????:eek: Surely you can do better than that!

Get yourself a real hot chick with a millionaire father. That'll teach your wife not to mess with you.

Bazic606

25-05-2009, 03:20 PM

sigh.. its showing more n more that my wife is cheating on me.. i dont wanna sit still anymore.. will let her have a taste of her own medicine... any bros here can pass me any FL contacts?? would love to try the Cinese O/L tat u guys have been talking about.. thanks

I do not often criticise people openly but you are really acting stupid. If what you are saying is true and not some excuses to get FL contacts, then I beckon you to reflect upon yourself what you have done to turn your wife away from you. Remember, women thinks differently to men....haiz

Big Sexy

25-05-2009, 03:34 PM

mate... me thinks you are in the green hat club.

Is she having an AFFAIR or a SCANDAL???

K.N.N

25-05-2009, 04:15 PM

if you wanna salvage your marriage,
check this out : Marriage Builders - Successful Marriage Advice (http://www.marriagebuilders.com/)
its a free site, need not pay anything. just click on the link you think you are in that stage.
every stage you are in, you learn new things & to solve them.

End of the day,
*(me)
i regret staying on.
should have left the Mrs. the moment i found out.
but maybe thats the stage i am in at this moment & might think differently
in future.

Good Luck.
choose, if you think you have a choice.

K.N.N

25-05-2009, 04:29 PM

a short c&p :
When you first learned about your wife's affair, you were probably very uncaring and disrespectful. You may have criticized her, made disrespectful judgments, and lost your temper. If you leave her after those ugly scenes, all she will remember is what a jerk you are, and she won't be very tempted to come back to you. So you must leave her with proof that you care for her, and that you also respect her judgments and opinions, however painful they are to you at this time.

bodymaster

25-05-2009, 10:05 PM

Whoaa.. kinda understand what TS is going thru. The same thing is happening to me, and Im getting married soon to her. I hope its just paranoia on my part, and on TS too. But bro, don't make it worst finding an FL as a revenge. I feel for you man, hope the best for you.

nitefyre

25-05-2009, 11:50 PM

definitely suggest you check the colour of the hat before putting it on (i.e. get evidence she is cheating instead of jumping to conclusion).

if colour is green ... then confront. if you she still love you, then she will try her best to repair it. if she doesn't love you anymore ... holding on will just kill you slowly. of course bro, you must then decide if you are willing to forgive. easier said than done. take a few days to think about it and don't make impulsive decision. it's ok to take time to think it over.

if some other colour ... whack yourself in the head for suspecting and move on. just enjoy the fact your wife wants to feel noticed.

As for your FL revenge, many FLs listed in SBF (2 whole sections dedicated to it!). However, it doesn't solve your problem. Do you think she will feel regret if you go FL? are you going to tell her you go FL? what is the objective of doing this other than for you to fuck FL brains out and relieve stress? if you want her to feel guilt ... going to FL and telling her is not going to work. May even backfire then she say you are also cheating on her (and doesn't matter who cheat first!).

K.N.N

26-05-2009, 02:38 PM

going to FL should not be for the sake of revenge.
FL should be for daily/weekly/monthly routine.
Its a bonus/reward for your body to enjoy & relax.

Revenge would be different,
get her pregnant, make her figure go out of shape
dump her when she is rotten.

yongzhen

26-05-2009, 10:50 PM

I do not often criticise people openly but you are really acting stupid. If what you are saying is true and not some excuses to get FL contacts, then I beckon you to reflect upon yourself what you have done to turn your wife away from you. Remember, women thinks differently to men....haiz

Bro, sometimes it might b the guy's fault.
So there r just too many reasons.
So don't blame him too much.
Cheers!

busido69

25-07-2009, 06:28 AM

Go to the marriage builders website recommended by knn

one of the best there is

Longitude

25-07-2009, 09:30 AM

What the eye doesnt see, the heart doesnt grieve over.

michaelrocksam

25-07-2009, 10:31 AM

bros,

we are also neglecting one main part that goes unnoticed.

so many bros here shared what they scored and how they scored with other ppl's wives. Is it surprising that the wife goes astray?

may be she is one of the ladies in some of the stories.

What goes around comes around. Not saying bro pl94 is at fault or he is scoring with other ladies, its a numbers games the net is cast around sg chances are high that the wife has been an affair.

TS has said that why you "guys", its more than one guy. She has been sleeping around with more than one and the guys are young. Older ladies likes younger guys.

50% Sg ladies are having kids and marrying with foreigners, sg men is not exactly sg ladies cup of tea. she is changing taste liao.

TS, if u want to recover this relationship even if she is cheating on you then you have to do something liao. Dun forget she do it once she can do it twice. SG ladies have their $ and many are earning more than guys, if she wants to continue to enjoy and keep u what can you do?

t3hkor

25-07-2009, 11:21 AM

girls can be discussing sex and maybe her girlfriends has said they bf / hubbies like to tongue them too:confused:

TheGreatOne

25-07-2009, 01:14 PM

well i have to agree with bro t3hkor on his view.

ladies do have their own sisters' chat and sex is definitely one of the hot topics.

maybe she is just merely relating one of her sister's story when she said that, don't think too much.

Always look on the bright(er) side of life~ *whistle~~ whistle~ whistle~ whistle~~ :)

popi824

25-07-2009, 01:19 PM

Nowadays i think relationship is very fragile and it is important for men to be very sensitive towards their women, which in most cases people take for granted. If your relationship had been very strong then there is no room for doubt.

What i believe is that Sg women are very down to earth. They are not as realistic as what some men feels. When they are with you they do not have any motive and its simply that they like/love you. My experience was when i was very poor and in debt, i have Sg gfs whom they dont mind me being in such state coz they felt that i will over come it. Unlike foreign ladies which in most cases their main aim is to come over to Sg only (sorry not all, if i offended any bros here). If things were to go wrong, i felt its more of a communication problem.

Those checking out on your wife moves need to be done very carefully if you ever consider it, coz if you break your cover and the truth is not what you were suspicious of, then it will be a road of no return. Be careful.

I hope the best for you. Don't be over suspicious and be too disheartened. I believe things will go well for you.

JPimp

25-07-2009, 03:22 PM

Assume there are no children involved in your marriage...

If not, I think I would
1. give her one last good hard fuck,
2. find some proof and ditch her
3. start a new life and be happy again

if you think she is having an affair, it is scarring enough for you to always be suspicious of her, even if she is not 100% unfaithful to you (as in she just wants to flirt a bit)
And once that trust is broken, it can never be repaired...

Believe me dude, my wife just does not trust.....and its a really really really xianz....might as well not be married.

warcock

25-07-2009, 05:27 PM

Get a PI. But before you do so, ask yourself what are you going to do if it transpire later that your fears are not unfounded. If you want to keep your wife then you will have to heed the saying that ignorance is bliss.

starstar

26-07-2009, 03:38 AM

If previously she doesn't like certain positions in the bed with you and of a sudden she requested for it, does it mean anything?

Or she hasn't addressed you as honey or sweetheart in the past and starting calling you lately, is that a cause for alarm too?

Yyzen

26-07-2009, 11:11 AM

- If your wife starts coming home later than usual, try asking her how's work and stuff. Ask her whether she got meet her bitchy best friend lately for shopping etc. Try to sound her out.

- Check her handphone, especially in the sent folder or the call list. Most people usually remember to delete their inbox, but not the above.

- When she returns from work, try to give excuse and give her a massage. If she smells like her hair has just been washed or her body feels very fresh like just after a bath, maybe she has just taken a bath in a hotel after having sex with another guy.

- Check her MSN. Let's say if she goes off to bath or something, see if she left her msn connected.

- If all else fails, and u still remain in doubt, just hire a PI. One or two weeks should be sufficient to bring up any tell tale signs.

oh nos... checking HP?? that is so bad :eek::eek: I never check my guy's hp

TS: i had a ex, who told me "i am 2 timing u with this Girl, give me time and i will dump her coz im only playing" so for 2mths.. i waited for nothing he said he dun wan to be a basta*8d to break the girl heart... =) after that i start to date others because there is no more trust...
no woman will bo tai bo ji find flings , maybe she found out something?? :)or she feels lack of something??

d4eth

26-07-2009, 12:23 PM

*sigh... wat is the world coming to..... :confused:

Bro_Xp

26-07-2009, 11:49 PM

... no woman will bo tai bo ji find flings , maybe she found out something?? :)or she feels lack of something??

RUBBISH! Maybe you will not but there are tons of women out there looking for flings everyday. I believe a lot of bros will agree.

Savanna

27-07-2009, 12:17 AM

You need to get a few friends to help u do some PI work...

Within a week, you definately get some answers...

GoldenMonkey1

27-07-2009, 06:50 PM

To the TS:

First of all, I would ask you to reflect on yourself, and ask yourself why such things is happening? If in the first place, you are not the guy for her, she wouldnt have married you.

Secondly, a lot of people in this world cannot handle the truth, if you find out the truth, are you able to handle it? If the problem doesnt lies with your wife, and it lies with you, the next relationship that you go into, you will encounter the same problem again.

Marriage is a sacred vow, when you got married, you made a commitment, regardless of what had happen you are to love her with all you have got.

After 4 pages, I did not see any self-reflection on yourself, all you did was just pushing the blame and suspecting your wife. You are both committed to each other, problems are supposed to be solve together. Like one of the samster said, a crack will never heal, BUT, the crack can be covered and not be seen if enough effort was put into resolving the issue.

Finding out the truth might not be the thing you want to do. Think about the consequences and the repercussion on each of the action that you are going to do, and how will it affect your life? Think about it, dont make a rash decision which will make yourself regret for the rest of your lifes.

PS: This forum allows you to see different views and different thoughts of people from different walks of life, learn from it. Here is not just a forum! It has thoughts of different people, and it gives you a wider view of what life is about. Choose wisely. :)

Good Luck! ;)