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Gixer

27-03-2009, 02:08 AM

What would you do if you found out you had a child you didn't know about?

When I was studying in Australia, I had a fling with a Jap girl. We lost touch and she went back. Recently, we met again on Facebook and while chatting she says she has a daughter now. She was divorced before I met her and she says she is not married now. She had a son with her previous marriage and her daughter now is about the right age as when we had the fling. I am married now and she will not tell me if the girl is mine, she says she doesn't want to break up my family.

She doesn't seem to want anything from me, but I am just wondering what you guys would do? I am a little curious as to if she is really mine. But if so, what should I do about it? It would be nice if I had a daughter, but my wife wouldn't be too pleased.

Comments? Suggestions? Thoughts?

SamSeng79

27-03-2009, 02:29 AM

since she has no intention to let u know, y do u wanna dig the truth?? My advice is just remain as it is now... No need to bother so much... Unless u really want the child if it is urs..

jon2000sg

27-03-2009, 03:05 AM

What would you do if you found out you had a child you didn't know about?

She doesn't seem to want anything from me, but I am just wondering what you guys would do? I am a little curious as to if she is really mine. But if so, what should I do about it? It would be nice if I had a daughter, but my wife wouldn't be too pleased.

Comments? Suggestions? Thoughts?

continue to see her and take good care of her and your daughter

forumer

27-03-2009, 03:28 AM

i would let it be....

mac75sg

27-03-2009, 03:54 AM

Not knowing the truth is better for you,life still carry on. cheers:)

TheGreatOne

27-03-2009, 08:01 AM

Bro,

you kept asking for the truth, but can you handle the truth?

David_Ginola

27-03-2009, 08:38 AM

Is better not to know, now u know liao, u also sianzz.....:(

cumminology

27-03-2009, 08:42 AM

Like what the bros here said, are you able to handle this? If you think you should be responsible, you should also look at the responsibilities of your marriage. Since she did not state that the girl is your daughter, are you willing to risk your current marriage to find out? Because it may not be yours after all but in trying to find out, your wife may get to know of this matter. And in the end you gain nothing and lost everything. So consider the options and consequences carefully.

jomblo

27-03-2009, 01:17 PM

hi seniors..i have some similar experience b4...i got to know this girl thru fren's fren from internet..know her for sometime n we always go clubbing during my uni times...fast forward...

she intro me to my gf/wife..then after sometime..we still come out clubbing...one nite we happy n drunk..so bring her to my place n bonk...best bj i ever get...then repeat the experiment for 3 times...then after that she avoided me...i dunno y....i sad for 3 years....

after that last year one nite she call me ask me saturday go out..i sure say ok...then pick her up...then go drinking n she tell me that she like me so much..but her bf know that she got no feeling for him at that time 3 years ago....so make her pregnant n she marry him... sure is not my kid becoz i wear cd.... i play safe becoz the bf i think ah beng..so i scare he pass her HIV...so i play safe

then that nite she confess say that if she not pregnant..then she sure will wan to be with me...so after that we check in hotel n have 2 rounds...2nd round i know i can last long..so i did not wear..about to cum..then i wear...
she give me the best bj as b4...then she say she do with husband not fun... no more excitement...so i tot my chance for weekly is back...

after that...she again avoided my call n sms...till now 1 year alreadi disappear..duwan to talk to me...i m still wondering y?? she pregnant again?..or guilty after that nite..i still searching for the answer..i dun dare to write so much becoz i think that husband sure got surf this site also...

till now...i still send sms asking when free but no reply...how?? wat should i do?..i know where she work etc but i wont go n make a big fuss...becoz i am quite "reputable"...so my lost is definately bigger than hers if i spill the bean... i am not showing off..just that base on job, education , financial....hope u get wat i mean...

geckoSG

27-03-2009, 04:25 PM

The thing is, dun think so much...

So what if she returns? Treat her as a FB and take care of her as a friend
and her daughter as your daughter loh. Simple as that, maybe 18 years down
the road then u will know... but so wat?

U need an additional child issit? I dun mind having a an additional father
to acknowledge now who gives me money daily.

:D

Frankiestine

27-03-2009, 04:38 PM

Bro Gixer, dun trouble troubles till troubles trouble you...so what if the gal is really your daughter? you want to rock your own marriage...your ex is already giving you a way out by not telling you...so just leave it..

Gixer

27-03-2009, 09:03 PM

ProjectSawadee

28-03-2009, 01:03 AM

well i guess if you are married n have a family you should not look back. Go for those 1 off $$$ transaction deal if you really want to. no point get into sticky relationship cause you are just inviting trouble for yourself. These feelings are just Lust bro and you can just pay and forget. In cases of ONS, let it be really ONE NIGHT ONLY thingy. no string attached kind.

Cheers
PS

JediSkull

28-03-2009, 04:41 AM

OK, she sent me a photo of her daughter and I can say she probably isn't my kid. Well what ever, it was just a fling, she may have been fucking someone else as well at that time. Not my problem. My problem now is, HOW DO I GET HER TO BED AGAIN?

:p

glad u got over ur episode...... mine's just starting..... my gf will blog about my illegitimate son on her QQ! I dun even dare on my QQ nowadays in case my wife finds out! :(

block11

28-03-2009, 07:07 AM

haizzz. you wont need to worry that much if you always play safe... this is another reminder of why raw is war. take care bros :p

Frankiestine

30-03-2009, 04:59 PM

OK, she sent me a photo of her daughter and I can say she probably isn't my kid. Well what ever, it was just a fling, she may have been fucking someone else as well at that time. Not my problem. My problem now is, HOW DO I GET HER TO BED AGAIN?

:p

Now that the easy part, keep reminiscing about the past in particular your love making session and tell her how you miss those days...she should get the hint...and for god sake cap it if you don't want her to come back later to show you another kid pics..:p:p

pro.d.igy

30-03-2009, 06:05 PM

Bro,

you kept asking for the truth, but can you handle the truth?

I very much agree with this statement. :D

tomvoyeur

30-03-2009, 10:42 PM

She doesn't seem to want anything from me, but I am just wondering what you guys would do? I am a little curious as to if she is really mine. But if so, what should I do about it? It would be nice if I had a daughter, but my wife wouldn't be too pleased.

Comments? Suggestions? Thoughts?

No point asking if she is not willing to tell u. Just take it that she is not ur daughter. ;)

celtic frost

30-03-2009, 11:14 PM

regrading wat bro gixer u go through well i have to say tis well for me personal my ex who is a jap have a daughter who is mine she did not tell me personal but thought my friend mouth they told me which is like 9yrs ago when she in sillypore i will bring her out with my current gf and the little girl would tag along she never say a single thing to my gf but she tell me tat she happy to have my daugther tho we never togather and she tell me to live a happy live the little girl know tat i'm her daddy but she would say in front of my gf for me tat is the guilt i have to live with but end of the day i know tat she happy with my daughter by her side so bro u will get over tis matter but is see how fast can u let go

Gixer

31-03-2009, 01:51 AM

Now that the easy part, keep reminiscing about the past in particular your love making session and tell her how you miss those days...she should get the hint...and for god sake cap it if you don't want her to come back later to show you another kid pics..:p:p

The thing is she is in Japan now, I have to fly up. Not sure if its worth it, there will be many other younger Jap chicks there as well, and she's getting old.

The things men will do for (free) sex.......:D

jefftany

31-03-2009, 02:57 AM

Sometimes ignorance is bliss..:rolleyes:

Bigbluebird

31-03-2009, 04:12 AM

My problem now is, HOW DO I GET HER TO BED AGAIN?

:p

This is a classic! :D

Frankiestine

31-03-2009, 01:30 PM

The thing is she is in Japan now, I have to fly up. Not sure if its worth it, there will be many other younger Jap chicks there as well, and she's getting old.

The things men will do for (free) sex.......:D

Dude u just miss the boat....:D:D

dreamguy123

03-04-2009, 07:59 AM

few years back I was with this gal who I almost married her.. But due to various reasons we decided to against the idea and shortly we broke off.

However soon she got married with another guy (Our property agent!!!).. Anyway glad for her. About a year later we once had a chat and she was telling me she now had a baby gal and said will send me the pic shortly..

True enough she did send me mms and in the subject, she indicated "Your baby gal". I was kinda shock and eventually I decided to against finding out the truth. I do suspect it could be mine but then again.. I was thinking, she's happy married and have everything that woman wanted.. So why bother and mess with something that is running well?

There's a saying in IT industry - If things are working well - Don touch it...

Frankiestine

03-04-2009, 11:31 AM

hmmmm...there might be another meaning to her mms title...she could possibly be giving you a way to rekindle some old flame that might still be burning in her...of course the natural reaction would be for one to find out the truth and she might seize the opportunity to tell you that she is only joking and then one thing might lead to another....

Oracle0711

03-04-2009, 11:34 AM

hmmm.. i think it is really difficult to make a decision. But being an outsider and that many things done in the past cannot be undone, it would be wise not to rush to make a decision. Many unknown factors still exist.

Good thing is there is the other party, your ex fling is not asking for anything. Why not maintaint the friendship for the time being and be a true friend to her - after all there is a soul tie between the both of you. Things might get clearer in the near future for you to make a clearer choice.

take care bro

deptrai4u

03-04-2009, 11:54 AM

When people asked me how many kids I have, I said Officially I have 2. Unofficially I really dun know bcos the numbers keep changing.

One day, I may live to regret this.. just like in those Classic Taiwanese movies, just picture this... 1 fine day, my son finally brings his new cute gf home for dinner to introduce to parents.. and I had to say to him "No.. you can choose any girl except this one!!!" and he will say "WHY dad!??? Why!!???" and then the drama begins and the saga continues ....

Life is exciting, isn't it!?

:D

newyorker88

03-04-2009, 12:16 PM

. My problem now is, HOW DO I GET HER TO BED AGAIN?

When you do, write a FR here. :D

dreamguy123

03-04-2009, 12:34 PM

Well I come to a point where I've made couple serious big mistake when was younger and now - Do not wish to do something like this again.. Thou I know it's impossible.

If I intend to have a fling with her - Yes I will cont make contact with her and have a underground relationship. But ask yourself, what's benefit will you get?

- a FB maybe and sex if things let to that way...
- A friend or maybe a very good friend
- A daughter of my own if what she claimed is true.

But what about the cons?
- U may endup ruining someone marriage which things might let to you be the replacement "hubby"
- And the kids? U think it won't hurt her when she grows up?
- How are you going to tell your family if really u need to be the replacement hubby?
- Out of no where.. I got a wife which currently I'm not ready to have 1. Beside she's not my ideal wife I looking for.
- U will eventually want to do a dna test to prove it. Be it result shows it's yours. The aftermath is still going to look ugly for both wife and kids. Trust is no longer there and might never be re-build again
- Extra wife plus kids = $$$$$$$$$$$. Especially for SG wife lor!!!!

I no math expert.. but I think the best opt for me is leave them alone. She already claimed they are very happy and marriage is great. So why bother mess it? You can say I'm selfish. Maybe I do - But I think it's best for everyone..

What is right thing to do might not be the best solution.. right?

dreamguy123

03-04-2009, 12:41 PM